THIS CHAPTER IS FOR SIR INTEGRA -

Anger Management Issues

There was a great disturbance in the force. Alucard woke up with a smile, finally some excitement. He went through the house looking for the disturbance. He knew it involved Integra, but he also knew that she was in no danger. He was on his way to her room, when he heard voices coming room the TV room. It was Colour James and his men. They were supposed to be guarding the house, making sure that Integra stayed under house arrest. But on days like this, days when it rained in sheets, they stayed inside and protected the fridge. They played poker, watched TV, and ate like marauding invaders from the unknown wastelands. He would have thrown them out, but it pleased him to please his daughter, Mouse. She had taken James as a lover and he was a willing food supply for her. Alucard stopped, and listened to their conversation.

"Aw, don't worry." Said Sgt. Bartley, picking up two cards. "She'll calm down. All pregnant women go through this."

"Thank God it stops. She's been ranting for three hours now." Complained Corporal Watson, discarding one card.

"Yeah, my wife went through it too. They just get tired of being pregnant and tired of their clothes not fitting. Suddenly, everything became my fault. My fault that she was pregnant, my fault that the sky was blue, my fault that the milk man only brought two bottles of milk." Chuckled Sgt. Bartley.

"So we just stay out of her way until she goes back to normal, right?" hoped Corporal McBride, as he folded his hand.

"Are you kidding? What's normal for Integra Hellsing?" asked Corporal Charlie, placing two more ten pound notes into the pot.

"You think she's like this all the time?" questioned McBride.

"You are aware that she is called the master of monsters?" stated Private Johnson, also folding his hand.

"Don't be so dramatic Johnson. Alucard's their master slayer and he's only one guy." Insisted James, picking up three cards.

"Yeah, but I heard he's a master VAMPIRE. He's supposed to be the ultimate weapon. He feasts on your blood and steals your soul." Told Johnson, making great arm movements and trying to be scary.

Alucard chuckled. Humans and their imaginations; give them a little truth and they made epic tales of it.

"What about the little kid. The one she calls Mouse." Asked McBride. "She's cute. I could get to like her."

James said nothing, but raised an eyebrow at McBride as he hid behind his cards.

"I though her name was Kalle." Stated Corporal Charlie, picking up and munching on Cheetos.

"It is. Mouse is her nickname." Told Johnson.

"Mouse is just a bodyguard." Assured James. "She waits on Integra for everything."

"Man, it must suck to be her." Whistled Corporal Charlie. "Integra, I mean Sir Hellsing is a hard task master. She actually yelled at me for having a wrinkled uniform on, in the house, like it matters. I was off duty."

"Integra is always on duty, twenty-four/seven. As are we, as her majesty's royal soldiers. You should know that, Charlie." Reminded James.

"Yeah, yeah." He responded to James' chide.

"Anyway, I heard that Mouse was a vampire too." Said Johnson.

"I heard she was a werewolf." Commented Corporal Watson.

"Where'd you hear that?" asked James.

"Hold on, it might be true." Said Private Tomas. "After all, if Integra is the master of monsters and she already has a master vampire, then maybe Mouse is the master werewolf."

"Brilliant, deductive minds." Laughed Alucard, still listening in from the shadows.

"He's right." Reinforced Johnson. "You don't get the title master of monsters by having just one measly little vampire."

"Who are you calling measly and little? Have you seen Alucard?" chuckled Sgt. Bartley. "You'd better hope he doesn't hear about you calling him measly and little or I'll be looking for a new signal man."

James just shook his head. Good grief, the way his men spoke, you'd think they were cackling old women. It's a good thing they didn't know she had four vampires in her service. He could only imagine the stories they would create then.

"Well, I heard she's a demon." Said Sgt. Bartley.

"Who told you that Jack?" asked James, sighing heavily as another round of storytelling was about to begin.

"Sir Jeffery's butler." Revealed Sgt. Bartley. "We play golf on his days off."

"Whoa, really?" asked Tomas. "So what he'd say?"

All the men leaned in closer. Any information straight from the household of a knight was big news indeed.

"Remember when James supposedly married Integra." Began Sgt. Bartley.

"Yeah, there was a big hullabaloo at Buckingham Palace." Remembered Corporal Charlie.

"Well, Sir Kent's men were sent by the knights to retrieve Integra. That little Mouse took out three of his best men in under two minutes, before being shot down." Said Sgt. Bartley.

"No way." Gasped Watson.

"And she lived to tell about it?"

"Stop getting ahead of the story." Said Sgt. Bartley. "And no, she didn't live to tell about it. The way I hear it, she was shot dead. It took five to seven shots to put her down. That's how loyal she is to Sir Integra. She just wouldn't die as long as her master was in danger. But the human body can only take so much. I heard Kent's man put her down with one final shot to the brain. SMACK, right between the eyes."

"Stop shitting me. If that's not Mouse, who is it? A twin?"

Sgt. Bartley reached over the table and hit Tomas with a whap to the head.

"Shut up and listen. And I'll tell you what happened." Scolded Sgt. Bartley.

Alucard chuckled more and more as he listened to this little tale.

"Anyway, later, Alucard comes in and busts up the wedding…" started Sgt. Bartley.

"Wait a minute." Interrupted Corporal McBride. "You mean James never married Integra…at all?"

"No." said James, finally speaking.

Everyone stared at James as he flipped through his cards.

"What?" asked James, defiantly.

"You've never touched Integra?" asked Corporal Charlie.

"No." confessed James.

"Wait, if you haven't come to "know her" in the biblical sense then who's children is she carrying?" asked Private Johnson.

"You were there…No, you weren't there." remembered James. "They are Alucard's."

"Whoa, they're his!"

"Yes." Confirmed James.

"But everybody thinks that YOU ARE married to Integra and that she had an affair with her butler and that the children are his." Claimed Corporal Watson.

"See how wrong rumors are." Said James, hinting at his own men's gossiping.

"Whoa, now I get it!" exclaimed Private Johnson. "The queen has a proxy for the impotent prince."

"I am not impotent!" shouted James, throwing his cards down on the table.

Alucard nearly fell over laughing when he heard this.

"I should go and get Mouse."Thought Alucard. "She would find this most amusing."

"Now, it all makes sense." Said Corporal Watson. "I was wondering why you slept down here with us instead of upstairs with her."

"Hell, if I were her husband I sure as hell wouldn't be on guard duty. I would make you ugly sods do it and spend all day with her." Declared McBride.

"Hey, finish your story about Mouse." Reminded Private Tomas.

"Well, after Alucard busted up the wedding, the knights got even by getting catholic priests to bind him. They were going to kill him and then she came in." continued Sgt. Bartley.

"Who?" asked Tomas.

"Who'd you think? Mouse, you numb nuts. Haven't you been listening?" chided Corporal Charlie.

"Go on." Urged Private Johnson.

"Anyway, Mouse was back from the dead and not a scratch was on her. She took out all the priests; one shot each, straight to the head. Then she hypnotized the entire church into believing that Integra had married James and that Alucard didn't exist." Finished Sgt. Bartley.

"Wow." Exclaimed Johnson.

"Are you sure that's the same Mouse?" asked Tomas. "She doesn't look at all dangerous."

"Neither did Lucifer, angel of light and music." Said Sgt. Bartley, in a warning like manner. "Believe me boys, that little lady is a demon."

"Then why does she serve Integra, when all the other demons we've faced try to kill her?" asked Watson.

"Cause she's like Constantine. She was one of them, but she knows that the balance between good and evil, light and dark, must never be broken. She fights not because she likes us; she fights because she's been chosen to maintain the order of the universe." Enlighten Sgt. Bartley.

"Whoa." They all gulped in awe.

"Oh, please." Sighed James, with unbelief at the foolishness of Sgt. Bartley's tale.

Suddenly, they all heard a very loud CRASH. James jumped up from the table.

"I'd better see what going on up there." He said.

Then they all heard a great inhuman scream.

"What was that!" feared Tomas.

"That was Mouse." Worried James.

James ran from the TV room. He had just rounded the corner and was about to go upstairs when he ran into Alucard.

"Whoa. Sorry." Said James, looking up.

"Stay." Ordered Alucard. "I will see to Integra."

"Rescue Mouse for me." Quipped James.

Alucard gave him a smirk and disappeared.

He reappeared in Integra's room. She was yelling at Mouse and throwing things at her.

"Hold still and die like a man, you banshee!" Shouted Integra.

"Master, calm down." Urged Mouse.

"I am calm!" snapped Integra.

Integra threw a large needle at her and it hit Mouse dead in her chest. Alucard watched with amusement as Mouse tried to dodge Integra's attacks, but she was very good at hitting fast moving targets. Mouse had no less than eight large needles sticking out of her arms, legs, and back. Suddenly sensing Alucard, Integra turned on him.

"DAMN IT, don't you ever knock!" she hollered.

Alucard caught the object thrown at him in his left hand. He opened his hand and looked at it. It was a knitting needle of pure silver. He looked at Mouse who was hiding behind Integra's wardrobe door.

"I take it you were teaching her to knit." he stated.

"Yes." Said Mouse, still hiding behind the door.

"Why?"

"Something to do."

"So she's bored again."

"Is she ever. She's even worse than you when there's nothing to kill." Complained Mouse.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. We were attempting to make the kids some baby booties and suddenly she flips out on me." Explained Mouse.

"Pregnant women are prone to violent mood swings." Said Alucard, matter of factly.

"Thanks for the warning." Said Mouse, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"Damn you, this is all your fault!" yelled Integra, marching right up to Alucard and standing in his face.

"What is all my fault?" he asked, nonchantly.

"Look at me! I'm a whale! I only needed one child! Why do you have to do everything so over the top!" rebuked Integra.

"You blame me for being pregnant?" asked Alucard, with a leer.

"Yes! You damn bloody vampire!"

"Well then, I blame you for getting pregnant. Your hungry little eggs devoured my sperm and apparently they got greedy." Mocked Alucard.

"AAARRRGGHHH! BASTARD!"

Integra picked up the standing lamp and threw it at Alucard. Then she picked up the phone.

"Now you done it." Panicked Mouse. "I'm outta here."

Mouse ducked the lamp and ran for the door. Alucard dodged to his left and the phone flew past him. The phone hit the door just after Mouse passed through it. Alucard laughed as he watched his daughter flee the room. However, with her gone, he now concentrated on Integra.

"You should apologize to Mouse." He said, firmly.

"I won't."

"You will. She looks like a porcupine."

"She looks better." Said Integra, turning her back on him.

She had started to walk towards the bathroom when Alucard stopped her.

"Well, if Integra is going to be naughty; then Integra gets spanked." Said Alucard, advancing towards her.

Integra stopped in her tracks, turned, a stared him down.

"You wouldn't dare." She challenged.

Alucard beamed even more. Quickly, he grabbed her wrists with his left hand. He bent her over his left arm, minding her pregnant stomach, and began spanking her with his right hand. Integra struggled and tried to kick him, but his tendrils sprang up from the floor and held her tight.

"Damn you! Let me go! Stop it!" ordered Integra.

"Why?" asked Alucard, innocently. "You're enjoying it, aren't you?"

"I am not!"

Alucard sniffed the air. Integra's scent had changed. The air around her was different now.

"You're getting excited." He chuckled. "I bet you're just dripping wet already."

"In your dreams, damn vampire!"

"Every night, my "darling" wife. Now, let's see if "baby" needs to be changed." Alucard laughed.

Integra moved out of reflex at being touched so intimately.

"Not tonight." Said Integra, biting his arm.

Alucard looked down at her as she bit him.

"Too bad you didn't accept my offer. Then you'd have a real set of teeth." He teased.

Feeling insulted, Integra bit him harder, hard enough to make him bleed. Alucard just stood there and watched his arm bleed. Integra had a good grip on it. For a human, her teeth were quite strong. But then so was everything about her.

"Damn, you would have made a great vampire." He said. "But a bite, for a bite."

Alucard moved Integra's hair to the side and gently scraped her neck with his teeth. Soon, she began to bleed. Enthralled with the scent of her blood and lust, Alucard began to lick the blood dripping from her neck. Sensing a change in his manner and the gentle licking of her neck; Integra stopped biting him and licked his wound. For Integra to do such a thing was unthinkable, but that was just it; she wasn't thinking, she was just reacting to Alucard's intimate touch.

"That's right. Taste my blood as I taste yours." Thought Alucard to her.

Integra continued to lick his arm as he ground his aching desire into her backside. This aroused Integra even more and she moaned her contentment.

"Oh, Alucard."

Having had enough of foreplay, Alucard let go Integra's writs and turned her to face him. He loved staring into her fiery blue eyes. She started back just as defiantly, not one to be beaten on any level. He pulled her closer seeking to attain her lips, but her pregnant belly prevented them from getting closer. Integra looked down in despair.

"See, I am fat." She thought.

"Not a problem." Said Alucard.

Alucard made his stomach fade into shadows and his torso disappeared. Before Integra could ask, he pulled her close and claimed her lips. Integra was enjoying his kiss and the penetration of his tongue when she suddenly remembered something. The children were in his shadow world. She violently pulled away from him and rubbed her stomach, seeking to verify their safety.

"The children!" she exclaimed.

"They are of my blood. There is nothing within me that can harm them. Trust me, they will be fine."

Integra was not convinced, she didn't move.

"Integra, trust me." Said Alucard, offering her his hand.

Integra took his hand and allowed him to draw her closer. He stared into her eyes and placed her hand inside his torso.

"See, nothing, but empty space. No monsters, no demons."

"Where are the souls you've taken over the years?"

"Locked behind the seals of my mind. I command them and they do not act unless I give them leave to." He assured her.

Integra withdrew her hand. There was so much she still didn't know about him; even though she had studied him for years.

"It's cold in there." She said, softly.

"But it's warm in here." Said Alucard, laying a hand on her stomach. "They won't feel a thing."

Alucard pulled her closer, and again claimed her lips. Integra reluctantly relaxed into his embrace. Her right hand held his waist, and her left hand entangled itself in his hair. His kiss deepened as he explored her mouth with his tongue, and Integra felt the strangest sensations on her fingertips. They were being licked and messaged, but by what. She opened her eyes to see Alucard's hair was alive and it was moving. Some strands of his hair wrapped themselves around her wrist and other strands ministered to her fingers; massaging them and gently licking them.

"Ungh." Moaned Integra into his kiss, as Alucard gave her buns a squeeze.

Sometimes Alucard could be very aggressive, like the time he had taken her against her will; proving to her that indeed she had no control over him. He could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. And then there were times when he was very gentle, like now because she was pregnant with his children. But as always, his loving her was full of passion. He held her close and could feel her body still shaking in ecstasy. Her adrenaline was waning, but she was still charged with raging delight. They both lay there, hovering five feet in the air, neither wanting this to end.

"Oh, god. That was so ineradicable." Panted Integra.

Alucard chuckled with smugness and conceit, as he rose up into a seated position and began to lick her face. As she sat there, patiently enduring his grooming, she wondered about their relationship. She had broken her ancestors' greatest rule. She had loved Alucard, not just once, but many many times. And though she felt bad for doing it, she never regretted it. She would love him now and forever; just as he did her. She looked down at her stomach, at their children. Half of her was in his shadow realm, and half of her was in the light where she could see it. Hell spawned children, born out of a forbidden love; she wondered what kind of dhampires her children would grow up to be. She could only hope and pray that the surviving child would grow up to be good, strong, virtuous, and wise; a true master of Hellsing.

"Don't worry, Integra." Said Alucard telepathically, as he continued licking her face. "Everything will be as it should be."

"But the door…"

"Shhh, not now. I'm busy."

Integra gave him a grin as he nuzzled her neck. Integra sighed with contentment as he licked her neck wound. It was so strange. She had stabbed herself in the neck to rid herself of the vampire blood that threatened to taint her blood and steal her soul. That wound represented her determination and resolve to remain human and to stay away from the vampire's world. So why, why, why was it that when Alucard licked her there, kissed her there, and nuzzled her there did it feel so ….damn…good.

"You need a bath." He announced.

"I thought that you were going to lick me clean." She retorted.

"Well, I know how much you love the bubbles."

"So blow me."

"HA HA HA." He laughed, heartily. "Not until you apologize to Mouse."

"Where is she?" she asked, trying to get down off of Alucard.

Alucard lowered them both to the floor, and soon Integra found her feet. Alucard then waved his hand and made a mirror appear. Integra looked on as an image of Mouse, straddling James and sucking his blood appeared.

"She looks fine to me. Needle free and happily fed." Said Integra.

Alucard grinned at her.

"Never on to say your sorry are you?"

"I wonder what Seras is up to?" said Integra, blatantly changing the subject.

"She's outside …practicing." Informed Alucard.

"In the rain?" questioned Integra, unbelievingly.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"She wants to be stronger."

"So I guess she was serious." Commented Integra, watching Seras train.

"Abut what?" he asked her.

"She asked Mouse to train her."