Acceptance
(A sasusaku Christmas oneshot)
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Why did it have to be today?….
My eyes fell to the soft powder that was falling from the heavens to the damp ground. Narrowing my eyes I mindlessly clenched my fists and waited. I felt like my soul was unstable, that it made me feel like it was never a part of me. My soul was sleeping somewhere cold.
Sliding down against the wall- I didn't care if my clothes got slightly damp- I leaned my head against the cold based brick wall and forced my eyes to close.
Frozen.
I was frozen inside but not physically… mentally. To admit there was this feeling that I knew I felt alone but it was too late; no one would notice me at this moment. Not even she would come and look for me, she had her family to spend time with.
The thoughts in my head swam. Were I to go home, to see his face once again or to stay and freeze from hypothermia here?… But, of course, no one would care to help me anyway after I had left the Leaf… I rested my forearms on my knees and looked up to the darkening sky that was slightly lightened from the light reflecting off the snowflakes.
Tears would never fall from these eyes, they couldn't, they didn't know how, they had forgotten how to.
---
"Okasan (Mother), Otosan (Father) wants you to cook some chicken teriyaki for tomorrow!" I peeked over my mother's shoulder and got a glance of some recipe book down on the counter. Noticing my presence she shooed me away.
"Sakura! I told you not to look, this is supposed to be a surprise!" It seemed like she had forgotten about my question… or hardly even noticed it.
"But Okasan… I just know that it's some recipe but I don't know what it's about. Are you really going to go with that book? Besides I just came to say that Otosan made me come here to tell you he wanted chicken teriyaki for tomorrow." Tapping my fingers on the counter impatiently I couldn't keep my feet still.
Her eyebrows furrowed seeming to be the cause that she couldn't just get the recipe. "Yes, musume, I got it all covered."
I sighed and shook my head. Smiling I knew that I had finished my deed anyway. "Hai (Yes). Ano ne (By the way)… I'm just going to go and see if Sasuke-kun is coming tomorrow night along with Naruto. Is that okay?"
For this, she seemed to hear me. "Nani (what)? It's dark already, Sakura. Are you planning to go out and go all the way to the Uchiha estate of Konoha at this time of hour?" Her eyes looked away from the book and dropped them on me.
Shuffling my feet uncomfortably I shook my head. "But Okasan, I want to ask him-"
"No Sakura, not at this time. I know that you are already a medic nin and all but I still am watching over you, you know that?" She wiped her hands dry on the counter rag and put a hand on her hip.
Sighing knowing that he'd refuse my request anyway, I dragged myself to my room after obeying whatever my mother wanted. Sometimes I felt like Okasan was too over-protective over me, I smiled but was it enough to stop me?
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I didn't notice at first but I was shaking, from cold, from loneliness and maybe even by… fear. Was I really trapped in that feeling when I couldn't stop thinking about it?… I didn't know and so I dropped my head onto my knees.
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The cool breeze brushed against my face while I left the Uchiha grounds of Konoha. Something was strange about it so I didn't really think about walking right up to his front door.
Okasan is going to kill me, I thought, but this is for Sasuke-kun…. He wasn't at home and at this time of night! It was near the mid of night and still, I was looking for him. There wasn't much time left, I would have to go home soon but I still had a chance. To be honest I was worried, really worried.
Landing softly on the ground I ran on the dirt walkway now in the heart of Konoha. My scarf trailed behind me, silk against the wind… this was something that Sasuke-kun had given me… I needed to find him, I needed to know that he was safe.
---
The wind blew harder but still my mind had no intention of going home. My hands were so numb and my shaking had increased. I wanted to be with someone, I needed to be with someone but who was there to be with?
Did I need her?
I shook my head that was crazy myself was enough, I didn't need any extra attention, I could always live on my own.
But was that true? She was always there for me.
Gripping my temples and shaking my head my thoughts finally died away. I was hurting… inside.
"SASUKE-KUN!"
I lifted my head, immediately onyx collided with jade. Her eyes were wide with relief but tints of fear roamed within them at the same time. She grabbed my hands and I jerked back. No words escaped my mouth.
"What are you doing here?" she whispered. My eyes fell onto the silk wrapped around her shoulders, it was a gift that I had given her when I returned long ago. She still had it.
I was going to ask you the same thing, I thought.
"I was so worried about you. I thought that something really terrible happened!" Sakura fell to her knees and leaned in as I moved my head further away. Her white hand reached up to my cheek I flinched but didn't pull away. She was warmer than I, completely different. "You look so pale, this isn't good. Go home Sasuke-kun, I'm sure that it's much warmer in there even if it's always cold. I have to go home soon." Giggling lightly she sighed. "I left the house without telling my Okasan."
My eyes widened. She left for me? This feeling… what was it?
To my surprise I shook my head. A hoarse voice of mine finally managed to squeeze some words out, "I can't…."
"Why?" her voice was so gentle that it actually made me feel somewhat better.
My lips were shaking, I feared to speak of him directly. "O-o-ni-niisan (Oniisan-older brother)… he.. ca-came…" A small gasp escaped her lips. "I can't go ho-home…" Why was I being so open to her? There still wasn't any time in my life for this. Itachi had came back but I thought he was… dead. Her fingertips trailed along my cheek.
"Gomen nasai (I'm really sorry)… but I have to get going, I'm happy to know that you're at least safe." She took my hands with a firm grip I couldn't feel anything and was to weak to pull away. "Listen…" she whispered, "I don't think that Okasan is going to except you if you stay at our house tonight so in that case I am wanting you to go stay and Naruto's house, understand?" Standing slowly she dropped my hand.
Like it was instinct or something I grabbed the scarf that I had given her with a weak hold but enough to hold her back. "P-please… don't leave m-me…!" Already I gotten up, legs wobbling. I coughed and lost my footing. Sakura took notice of this and caught me. We fell to the ground, my cheek pressed firmly against her collarbone, her arms wrapped around me tightly. It was a while since I was this close to her but to admit, I did feel better. "Sakura…" I whispered. She didn't care about her clothes getting slightly damp.
"I want you to feel better, I'm sure that Okasan would understand… I will stay with you, and only for you." I said nothing but nodded. "You're so cold. Did he hurt you?"
Breathing harder I shook my head and added, "A little… not that much." I didn't want her to worry so much about me again. Getting to my senses I pulled away and took a breath. I didn't really have anything to say.
A bit taken back she brought her hands to her chest. She didn't say anything I felt guilt rising up my stomach, through my throat. "Sasuke-kun…"
I turned my head away from her and whispered, "I'm sorry but we can't be like this. You and me… I want to give you that warm feeling but I don't have anything right now. Maybe in the future, I will be able to…" My voice trailed off as soon as I tilted my head to one side to see her slightly crying.
"Please don't say those words. We've been hurt too much already, the both of us. Tomorrow is Christmas and I want to spend it with you." With me? "You need someone to be with and I wanted to let you know that. I'm always here for you, Sasuke, al-"
I leaned forward and took her mouth in a cold but somewhat sweet caress with my own. She gasped and I pulled away shamefully biting my bottom lip. "Gomen nasai," I responded looking away. She had somewhat warmed my mouth but the cold must've nipped her lips.
Her mouth was left somewhat agape and she breathed quietly. I turned my head to observe her and she caught me off guard, capturing my mouth in a stronger connection than before. Her warmth melted the cold away I couldn't help myself but close my eyes. This was something that I hadn't experienced before. This time I pulled back slowly. "Gomen… I'm not any good at this…"
"Don't worry," she whispered. I leaned in again and took her in the best that I could give her at the moment. My fingers that were now somewhat warm trailed down her neck, stopping at her waist. "Don't you think that we should be doing this somewhere more…"
"Warm?" I whispered against her skin. She shivered once and then nodded. Pulling ourselves to our feet I answered, "Well I thought of this and it could be true. We're not really that far from my place and Oniisan probably left a while ago. Would you be willing to come with me home and stay there until tomorrow morning?" I couldn't believe that I was talking too much, my life had already changed in minutes.
"Um… I could… it's almost midnight and I wouldn't want Okasan to start screaming at me before I could even get to sleep…. So sure!" She smiled and took my hand. We ran down to the Uchiha grounds, chasing after each other in the snow.
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They examined each other closely in the shadows, moonlight gleaming on their faces. "Sasuke-kun…" Sakura whispered. He trailed his lips along her neck, talking quietly, lips brushing her flawless surface.
"Sakura… aishiteiru (I love you)…" He looked into her eyes and smiled. How could he have missed all of this in life? A grin appeared on her lips and she pulled the mofu (blanket) around her petit form tighter. Melting into one of his kisses once again they fell onto the futon (Japanese bedding), exhausted.
She pressed her cheek in the crook of his neck then moved up to slightly lick the shell of his ear. "I love you too…"He sighed in relief and embraced her tighter.
It was now midnight.
"Merry Christmas, my cherry blossom."
A/n: Okay, so there was a bit more fluff at the ending but this is my first oneshot ever! gasps. And gomen, if it was confusing going back and forth. Lol, I'm going to write a NejTen oneshot later on, so I go check that out later if you like that pairing . Well anyways, I hoped that you liked it all!
-kawaii.sasuke