A/N: This is my first House M.D. fanfic, so yeah, don't own him, tho I wish I did.
"There once was a man from Nantucket and he lived in a bucket. One dreary day, he decided he no longer wanted to live in a bucket so he said "F& it" and killed himself, one day in Nantucket," House said after he painfully sat down beside his pet rat, Steve McQueen, who was running on his wheel in his cage. He also took a drink out of a bottle of scotch; it wasn't his first, and it certainly wouldn't be his last. "It is days like today that I wish that Stacy had let me die after the infarction. But no, she left me here, in pain and without part of my leg, seven years later with no one except a rat. At least you care enough to listen to me."
During this little monologue, the person that he now shared his house with came home just before the clock chimed eleven. When he didn't respond to their calls, they decided that he was either ignoring them, or just to drunk to care. Either way, they didn't want to be around when he realized that they were listing to him so they sent back to the bedroom and sat by the door, still listening.
"See, I have few things in common with the man from Nantucket. I live in Princeton, NJ; I live in a chic, upper class apartment; and the only thing that we do have in common is that if I ever decided to kill myself, I would probably say something to that effect. So it would go something like this: 'There once was a misanthropic, cynical doctor that also happened to walk with a cane from Princeton, NJ that lived in a chic, upper-class apartment. One day he decided he was tired of life, so he said "F& you all!" and overdosed on Vicodin and scotch, one day in Princeton, NJ.' See, nowhere near as pretty. But someone would probably say that at my funeral, and since I don't want anyone to say that, I have no reason to do that." By then he had finished that bottle of scotch and passed out while trying to make his way back to the bedroom.
All this time, his lover held their breath, but let it out when they heard the last part. They quickly got up to help him the rest of the way into the bedroom after they heard him hit the floor in the hallway.
After they got him into the bedroom, stripped him down to his boxers and a t-shirt, and tucked him in, they crawled into bed and whispered, "You have me and not only do I care, but I love you.