"We're home!" Yelled the guard jumping up and down.

"What?" Calvin yelled. "I wanna see it!"

Calvin looked out of the window of his cell.

They were approaching a planet with three moons.

Behind the planet, there were twin suns glaring down at it.

"What are the moons called?" Hobbes asked.

"Creak, Bomb, and Zing-a-ling!" The guard said.

"I'm sorry I asked." Hobbes said.

Calvin stared at the planet and gasped.

"That place is covered in lava!" Calvin screamed.

"Why didn't you tell me that Rupert's planet was ninety percent lava?" Hobbes asked.

"What, did you thought I knew?" Calvin snarled.

He spun around to the guard.

"How can anything live on that planet?" Calvin screamed. "about 8 tenths of it is covered in lava!"

"9 tenths." Hobbes corrected.

"Whatever." Calvin snarled.

"We live on the 20 percent that's land." The guard said.

"Ten percent that's land." Hobbes corrected.

"Whatever." The guard said.

"But I think it would be too hot to live on that place!" Calvin yelled.

"We thought it would be too cold to live on Earth." The guard said.

Calvin thought about that.

"Do you even have North or South Poles?" Calvin asked,

The alien thought about that.

"You mean those big white things on the top and bottom of your planet?"

"Yes." Calvin said.

"Nope. Don't have any of those."

"How do drink ice water?" Calvin asked.

"Actually," The alien said. "We drink ice lava."

"YOU WHAT!" Calvin and Hobbes both screamed.

"Yup." The alien took a glass, and turned a faucet on.

Lava oozed out.

The alien let the lava bleed into the cup. Then, he turned the faucet off, and started drinking.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged disgusted looks.

The alien finished the glass of lava.

"AH!" He sighed. "So fresh. Do you want a glass?"

He offered Calvin a glass of lava.

"No thanks." Calvin said. "I'll stay dehydrated."

"So I suppose you drink what comes out of volcanos, right?"

"Heck no!" The alien yelled. "That lava hasn't been filtered! Who knows what kind of creepy crawlies lurk in an innocent glass of lava ready to eat down our respective bodies!"

"Don't ask him any more questions!" Calvin ordered Hobbes. "That's about enough information to last me for eternity!"

"Oh darn." Hobbes sighed. "I was going to ask them what they had in their swimming pools."

At last, the ship landed.

One of the aliens burst into the room.

"Alright!" He yelled. "Let's go!"

He opened the cell door, and led Calvin and Hobbes away.

"Where are we going?" Calvin asked.

"I have no idea." The alien said. "I'm just throwing you outside."

Calvin and Hobbes blinked.

The alien led Calvin and Hobbes off the ship, then went back on.

Waiting for them was a tall alien in a uniform.

"Ah." He said, "You must be that Earth Potentate that gave everybody such a hard time. Huh. I kind of pictured you taller."

"For the Five hundred thirty one Trillion, Nine hundred fifty six Billion, Five hundred forty nine Million, Six hundred twenty five Thousand, four hundred seventy eighth time! I'M NOT THE SUPREME EARTH POTENTATE!" Calvin screamed.

"That's what they all say." The alien muttered, leading Calvin and Hobbes away.

"Where are we going?" Calvin asked, avoiding a pool of lava on the black dirt.

"The torture chamber." The alien yawned.

Calvin and Hobbes gasped.

It was then that Calvin saw a magnificent castle.

"Is that where Rupert lives?" Calvin asked.

"Yes."

"Do we get a grand tour of his palace?"

"No."

"Darn."

Calvin, Hobbes and the alien entered a rather large building that had a sign on it that said,

The Torture Place!

Space Monsters and Eggplant Casserole 50 percent off!

"Eggplant Casserole?" Calvin asked.

"No kidding, we really can use that as torture appliance." The alien said.

"Why am I not surprised?"

The alien walked up to a counter with another alien at it.

"I'll take one Space Monster, please." He said.

"What species?" The other alien asked, halting his wiping of the counter.

"I dunno, what do you what, Potentate?" The alien asked.

"What do you got?" Calvin asked, egarly.

"Calvin!" Hobbes spat.

"Come on, Hobbes! Lemme see a few Space Monsters!"

The two aliens led Calvin and Hobbes down a hallway with glass chambers.

"We have a Inviso bombman" The alien manager said pointing at one of the chambers.

It was empty.

"Where is it?" Calvin asked.

"It's invisible." The manager said.

"Eh?" Calvin said. "what else ya got?"

"Well, we have a Mood swing Babbler" The manager pointed at another chamber.

There was a small creature in it, smiling sweetly at Calvin.

"He's cute." Hobbes commented.

The Small creature whirled around to Hobbes and screeched, "WHO YOU CALLIN' CUTE YOU UGLY BUCKET OF CHICKEN FEET!"

"What did you call it again?" Hobbes asked.

"Mood Swing Babbler." The manager repeated.

"Uh-huh."

The creature suddenly got tears in its eyes.

"Oh, Hobbes! I'm terrible sorry! How ever can make it up to you?"

Then it started screaming at Calvin.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Gad, it can torture you and not even touch you!" Calvin muttered. "What else do you have?"

"There's a IQ Droner" said the manager.

Calvin looked at the third one.

It was wearing glasses, and a lab coat.

It pointed at the chalk board behind him.

"Pi is ratio of a circle. It equals approximately 3.14. No man has ever been able to find the whole number to which pi equals. It is one of the many mysteries of math."

"AUGH!" Calvin screamed. "That one's even worse than the other two!"

"He's actually our best seller." The manager said.

"Don't you have anything good?" Calvin asked.

"CALVIN!" Hobbes screamed.

"Well, we did get a special one yesterday." The manager said.

He led Calvin and Hobbes into another room.

Calvin and Hobbes gasped.

There was a gigantic monster chained to the floor.

It was a pure tan color. It had a long jaw, with three inch long fangs, that was dripping drool. It's hands had two inch long claws on it. so did its feet. It had beady black eyes, and it was roaring, and struggling against the chains.

"We'll take it!" Said the alien.

Hobbes fainted, and fell over backwards.

Calvin and Hobbes were led out of the store.

They were led to an arena.

"WHAT?" Calvin screamed. "You're going to let that thing eat us with everybody watching?"

"Sure." The alien said. "It's an old sport. Frankly, I'm starting to get sick of it."

Calvin and Hobbes were led into the building. Outside, Calvin heard a chanting crowd.

"Oh great." Calvin sighed. "We're about to get eaten!"

Calvin looked at Hobbes.

He was muttering to himself, and glaring at everything.

"Unless..." Calvin thought.

Calvin tiptoed over to a gun on the alien's belt with the words "Imago-gun" on it.

Calvin grabbed it.

"HEY!" The alien screamed.

He lurched for Calvin, But Calvin had already pointed it at his head, and hit the trigger.

BOOOM!

The alien coughed, and pushed the smoke away.

"I know... COUGH, COUGH... you're in here somewhere! COUGH! COUGH! Where are you? COUGH! COUGH!"

The alien then felt something.

"Got you!" He snarled.

He yanked the figure out of the smoke cloud.

"Hello." Spaceman Spiff said. "Did you miss me?"

"Something very painful is about to happen to me, isn't there?" The alien asked.

"Yup." Spiff grinned.

Spiff grabbed his Death Ray Blaster, and BOOM! The alien went screaming into the wall.

Seconds later, Stupendous Man, Tracer Bullet, and Calvin emerged from the smoke cloud.

Hobbes stared at the four grinning Calvins.

"Well," Hobbes sighed. "It's been a nice life."

"Oh, shut up!" Calvin spat. "Know listen! Rupert and Earl are taking over Earth."

"Who's Earl?" Tracer asked.

"The ship captain!" Calvin yelled. "Didn't you know that?"

"Not really." Spiff said. "He wasn't called Earl until the end of the second movie."

"Forget Earl!" Calvin yelled. "They're both taking over Earth as we speak!"

"THEY ARE?" The three alter egos yelled in unison.

"They are." Calvin said. "And we need you to stop them!"

The three alter egos exchanged glances.

"Uh... Well," Spiff mumbled. "We'd love to but uh... We have a dentist appointment to get to."

"You are imaginary people of my mind." Calvin said, dully.

"Oh fine." Tracer said. "Well do it."

There was a moment of silence.

"Um..." Stupendous man asked, "What do we have to do?"

"You have to go to Earth and defeat Rupert!" Calvin yelled impatiently.

"Oh." Spiff said.

"Now get going!" Calvin yelled.

"Wait!" Tracer yelled. "What about our plan?"

"That's your problem." Calvin said. "Me and Hobbes have bigger things to worry about right now."

Calvin and Hobbes heard a roar outside, and gulped.

"Ok." Tracer said. "Save Earth, defeat villain, become heros... sigh... Another day."

The other two alter egos nodded in agreement.

"Now hurry up, and go!" Calvin said. "We're running out of room for this chapter!"

Spiff, Tracer, and Stupendous man gulped, and rushed out of the arena.

If Calvin would've knew what would have happened, he wouldn't have sent his alter egos after Rupert.