chapter 10

She surprised him the next day by cleaning his home. He wasn't exactly dirty, in fact he was a major perfectionist, but since the few days she had been staying with him things had been left unattended. He played his music while Cat went around cleaning. She was getting stronger. The fall into the freezing water had knocked a lot out of her. She was not taking her mediation not as much. A while later Cat came into his room and asked for his dirty laundry. Erik began to chuckle, then outright laughed. "I did not ask for a housemaid. You don't have to do it."

"Ah but I do. I have to have something to do. I have to be busy or I'll go mad." With that she scooped up the clothes and disappeared.

Erik shook his head and continued composing. He became lost in his music and was only brought back to the present when he heard Cat cuss.

"Come back here! I know where you're hiding! Now get your bloated ass out from under there!"

Who was she talking to? Erik rose from the organ and went into the living room to find her on her hands and knees. Her head was under a chair by the fireplace. "What are you doing?" Erik's voice startled her, and she gasped and rose fast forgetting the chair, and banged her head on the underside of it.

"Ouch! Shit!" She put her hand to her head and touch it. She looked at the blood on her fingers and sighed as she held her bruised head and turned to glare at Erik. "Don't do that!" She snapped.

Erik crossed the room and helped her up. He led her to the couch," Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Just a habit I have."

She smiled a little, "Maybe you need to get a new one."

Erik smiled behind the mask and told her to sit down. "It's only a scratch, I can handle it." She protested.

Erik looked at her. "It is a wound that must be tended." He said. He placed his pale hands on the back of her head and she gasped.

"Did I hurt you somehow?" He asked.

"No, just, your hands are very cold." She reached up and touched his fingers. "Your dreadfully bony, I wish you would eat more."

He began to put some herbal ointment on the scratch and replied, "It's not a question of eating, my flesh simply doesn't fill out the way a normal person's does. It will heal. I apologize for startling you."

Cat smiled. "It's ok."

He looked down at her and their eyes met. Erik felt a charge of something, he couldn't explain. She leaned up and never took her eyes off him as she placed a small kiss on his jaw not covered by the mask. He ran into the kitchen. All his life, his childhood and teenage years and his adult life, and never, never had anyone willingly kissed him before. Christine had kissed him out of pity and to save her lover. He leaned against the counter and felt tears in his eyes.

"Erik, what in the hell is wrong with you?"

Cat came charging in, and he felt threatened. "Why did you do that?" He snarled.

"Well, you kissed me the night before; I don't see why this is different!"

He clenched his fists. "I thought you were asleep."

She stood before him and her eyes lit up. "Because it was me this time, because I kissed you knowingly and without fear."

He looked at her as he realized this. "It took a lot of courage for me to simply kiss your cheek, and I knew if you had been awake you would have screamed. You did not see my lips I hope?" He was calming down, but an edge of fear tinged his voice.

"Oh Erik, my eyes were closed, I swear. But know this Erik; I am not afraid of which you keep hidden. I am afraid of the emotions you keep pent up. One day you will explode again, and who will bear the brunt of your frustration?" With that said, Cat turned and went into the living room. Erik sat in his chair, and put his head in his hands, sobbing into them. Cat didn't understand. She said she wasn't afraid of his face, yet she had never actually seen it. She was only right about his wrath, his restricted feelings. All his life he had hid behind anger, never allowing himself to feel fear, joy, or even acknowledge his loneliness. it was also true that his piled up emotions had exploded. It had happened in that final confrontation with Christine and Raoul and Nadir. The last 2 years he did not allow himself to feel anymore. He admitted to himself now, he was attracted to Cat. He needed her company, her lively chatter, even the fights they had made him optimistic. At least he had a friend to argue with.

The feelings he had kept locked away came out in a flood of tears, and he ripped off his mask to cry into his hands even more. Deep down he desired Cat. He had always been denied female companionship, from the slaves in Persia who could not stand to pleasure him; and would run away to the laughing Khaunum, to the Courtesan's who could not be paid enough, to Christine, who could stand his presence but could not touch him or allow him to touch her. Cat's presence irritated him at times, she was overly affectionate, and he was afraid to admit his satisfaction from her kiss. As Erik buried his face into his hands he felt warm hands upon his shoulders. Cat began to massage his shoulders and he kept his face hidden within his hands. She kneaded his collarbone and began to rub his back. Erik's heart was racing so fast he felt as if he'd have a heart attack. Suddenly Cat bent down and took his mask; she never looked at him as she handed it to him. He wiped his face and placed it back on, then turned to look at her. Cat's eyes were red where she had also been crying. Erik stood up and went to her, then enveloped her in a tight embrace.

She sank into his arms as he placed his head on her shoulder. They stood together for a few moments, and Erik whispered into her ear. "I'm sorry. I have a lot of problems."

Cat simply agreed, "Yes."