It has returned! I DONT OWN THE VISION OF ESCAFLOWNE!
Folken Fanel, RULER OF ALL THAT IS MIGHTY AND GOOD, sits on his throne...
Actually, Folken Fanel sits behind the desk of his latest business adventure in Gaea, Folken's Big Bassin and Bait Shack, located off of route 3 just outside of lovley metro Asturia! COME SEE OUR LATEST BARGAINS! ALL NIGHT GLO TRAWLERS 1/2 OFF! FREE LIVE BAIT WITH EVERY NEW PURCHASE!
Author: Umm Folken, NO ADVERTISING.
Folken: Fine...
Folken stares at an old man snoring on a chair in the corner of his store.
Folken: I STILL can't figure out where he came from. I dont even know if he is dead or alive. Maybe I should call those guys from CSI...
Author: Well, I pretty sure he's asleep.
Folken: Naah... I think he could be dead.
Author: Y'...think? I mean I dont remember writing him as a dead guy... but now that you mention it...
Folken: Yep dead as a doorknob.
Folken brushes his hands together.
Author: Dwah! Folken thats your sword stuck through him!
Folken: Wha- me? No, no couldnt be mine... naaa...
Folken grabs a carving knife from under his desk and goes over to the old man.
Author: What are you doing?
Folken: Whaaaat? The bait freezer needs fresh meat...
Author: That's just sick. You murder him and now are going to chop him up for fish bait?
Folken: Wellll, you say that like it's a BAD thing. and I much more prefer the term 'recycle' if you please, what with our ozone layer depleting due to our overextending of our limited natural resources and all...
Author: Shut up. You're not even making any sense.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
VAN FANEL- KING OF FANELIA AND CONSTANT SOURCE OF IRRITATION FOR WOULD BE RULER DILANDAU ALBATROU.
HITOMI KANZAKI- CUTE JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRL SUCKED INTO THE WORLD OF FANELIA. MAY OR MAY NOT BE A WING GODDESS, IS ANNOYED WITH VAN A LOT.
DILANDAU ALBATROU- BISHONEN WITH A MESSED UP HISTORY. HELL-BENT ON RULING ALL OF GAEA BEGGING WITH THE KINDOM OF FANELIA.
MERLE- CATGIRL THAT ACCOMPANIES VAN AND HITOMI.
ALLEN SCHEZAR- APPEARED IN CHAPTER 3! WILL APEAR AGAIN SOON, I DONT KNOW WHEN!
FOLKEN FANEL- CURRENTLY AN ENTREPENAUR. VAN'S BROTHER. 90 OF ALL SMALL BUSINESSES FAIL WITHIN THE FIRST YEAR!
UTENA TENJOU- GIRL FROM AN ACADEMY FILLED WITH AMBIGIOUS PEOPLE WHO ALL MAY OR MAY NOT BE HOMOSEXUAL. BROUGHT TO GAEA SOMEHOW, IS IN VAN'S PARTY.
MICHEAL JACKSON- WHITE MAN IN A BLACK MANS BODY, ACCUSED OF HAVING TOO MUCH FUN WITH LITTLE BOYS. CURRENTLY HARASSING DILANDAU.
ANAKIN SKYWALKER- WATCH HIS TRANSFORMATION TO THE DARK SIDE, REPLETE WITH CARDBOARD ACTING AND SAPPY ROMANTIC SUBPLOT! HE IS YOUR FATHER! YES, YOU THE READER!
THE SPACE TROUT- FISH WITH AMAZING POWERS! COMES FROM SOMWHERE IN SPACE! SMELLS FUNNY!
Folken: O.o
Folken: Oookaaay, what was all that about?
Author: I don't knoooww...
All of the sudden the Space Trout falls through the ceiling. Anakin Skywalker jumps in after it. Anakin is holding a lightsaber.
Anakin: You cannot evade me forever Space Trout! I will save Padme! PAAAAAADDDDDMMMMMMEEEE!
The Space Trout whips out a lightsaber and the two begin a battle. Fishing poles are cut in half, worms stepped on, cows thrown, and a pachinko game is started by six rubber crawfish.
Folken and the Author are taking cover under Folken's desk.
Folken: Oh darn, there goes my motorboat...
A boat flies by.
Folken: Soo... will Dilly and the gang be in the next update?
Author: You betcha.
Folken: Aww this fanfic is crap anyway. Who reads it?
Author: Well, judging by my reviews, at LEAST 91 people. Either that or 1 person who made a BUNCH of screenames.
Anakin and the Space Trout dash past them and out the Bassin and Bait Shack.
Anakin: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A MASTER ON THE COUNCIL! DAMNNN YOUUU MACEEEE WINDUUUUU! NOOOOOO! PADMEEEEEE!
Folken: O.o
Folken stands and dusts himself off. The Author does the same.
Folken: So, you'll actually update this again?
Author: I guess so, but if stuff like that is gonna happen...
Folken: Well see ya, I got a telemarketing scam to set up and I'm callin YOU first.
Author: Please dont. Anyway folks! look for the triumphant return of Van and the gang! It may have been almost 3 years but Hot, Baby, Hot is BACK BABY!
To be continued...
Folken walks down main street Austuria and sees Space Trout hiding under some concrete construction pipes.
Folken: Soo, umm Space Trout. How would you like and exciting career involving calling people at dinner time and selling them a better long distance plan they dont even want?
Space Trout: Flop, bounce, flip, flop?