Chapter Four

I woke up the next morning throwing up. Urgh, I hate hangovers. After all these years I still wasn't used to them. I went to the kitchen for breakfast or supper rather. My mom was waiting for me.

"Why do you do these things, Kelsey?" she asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you think your ex-husband sent me here? What can I say? I'm a problem child. By what I can see you're not doing a very good job in raising me," I countered.

"Well, maybe you're not doing a good job in being a daughter." It was weak. I laughed. "Don't you realise what you were doing? You were prostituting yourself to a thirty-five year old complete stranger."

I laughed out loud. "Seriously? Wow, I was smashed. You should have let me go at him and give him the time of his life. I would have beaten my record." She stared at me with that look of hers. "What? You've never done a thirty-five year old?"

"Alright. Now that you've smoked in my house, gotten yourself drunk, made Biko drive all the way down here in the middle of work, and almost prostituted yourself, I'm making a list of rules."

"Do what you want, I'm not obeying them."

"Rule number one; you obey all the rules and me."

"That's two rules in one, you can't do that."

"Rule number two; no smoking, drinking or any other forms of self mutilation," she ignored me. "Rule number three; you're not going in town again without constant supervision. Rule number four; respect Biko and I… I think that's enough rules for toady. Now you are excused to your room."

I stood there for a minute longer just to assert that she wasn't the boss of me. Then gradually wandered off to my room; there was no other place to go.

Later on the phone rang and I heard my mom yelling. In all her ramblings I heard, "No Harold! She can't go back to Canada yet! No! You're drunk, you are in no condition to be phoning my house and demanding I send our daughter on a plane this instant. You are insufferable! It was decided that she would live with me for a period of at least a year. I'll get her later? When later? She'll be an adult, for Pete's sake! Fine!" She put her hand on the receiver and yelled in the direction of my room. "Kelsey, your father is on the phone and he wants to talk to you."

I ran out of my room. I hated my dad but this instant, for once in his despicable life; he offered me a glimpse of hope. When I got on the phone I heard his muffled drunken laughter on the other end. I think he was in a bar or something.

"Kate? I mean Kayla-" he chuckled.

"It's Kelsey, dad. Look, when am I going home?"

"Look Kaitlin, I'm trying my absolutely bestest to get you out of that (vulgar word) hole. Besides I miss you. I can't wait to have you back…"

He made me sick on the inside, but I had to get away from here. "When?"

"You're getting on the next plane out of there, you stupid ugly-" and then I heard a vomiting sound. This is what I wanted to go back to… but I was used to my father calling me names and abusing me especially when he was drunk, and I needed out. My mom grabbed the phone.

"Harold, go home. The next plane leaves for Canada in a few weeks if not months, so if Kelsey wants to leave by then, well… we'll see how she is," she said and then hung up the phone. "You're not my hostage Kelsey, you're my daughter." Then she did something no one else had done. She quickly kissed my forehead. "I just want to keep you safe." Sure loads of people had kissed me but no one had really meant it. They all wanted something for it, like I had asked for a kiss and then I had to pay them back. This was a true mother-daughter kiss. I started to tear up but stopped. If I was good I would be able to leave this place forever.

How could I have been so stupid? I had to play it different now. All my life my role was playing the rebel. Now I had to change that. It wasn't going to work with my mom. It was getting a little tiring anyways. Secretly I was glad I could leave the unkind side of me behind me for a while.

I went back into my room to rethink my strategy. I wouldn't get 'saved' that was for sure. One thing I knew was that something like that was forever. I already knew that God hated me, I didn't blame him. I had broken so many of his stupid rules I didn't keep track anymore. But getting saved was a commitment, I knew that much. My mom was a good example. She didn't look back once at dad or her old life after she did it. I knew I couldn't lie about that. God would surely smite me down for that one.

All I had to do was be a little nicer. Maybe become friends with Biko. After she will have seen how much of a good influence she has been on me, she will think I'll be prepared to go back home and be a civilized member of society. I almost laughed out loud. She suddenly knocked on my door and came in.

"Tonight there's Youths Night at church." From the moment she said church I turned on my ear phones and blasted the music. She came calmly up to me and took them off. I stared. "And you are going Kelsey. Now that you're living with me, you will at least go to Youths Night on Friday nights. I will not allow you to go wandering around town or hang around here all year."

I sighed. "Come-on! Do you really think I'm going to spend my time going to a freak gathering every night? I'm not some-"

"It's not some freak gathering and it's only on Friday's, dear" she smiled that idiotic smile of hers. "You can stay with Biko; he will introduce you to everyone."

I was too tired to argue and I had to seem nice. By this time I knew one thing about my mom, she cared enough about me to make me obey her… Dad never did anything like that. Even if she was harsh in my opinion, there was something about her that seemed so loving. I knew all about being mean and just plain unkind. I had been with loads of boyfriends that's for sure, and I had my dad. Most of them said that loved me and that they hurt me for my own good. Whatever. All I knew was that she was different. I didn't want to keep my mind on it though.