"Tamao!"

"Someone! Play the Eastenders Theme!" Tokagero announced.

"Haha! It's just like a soap!" I laughed in agreement.

Tamao switched the Bon Jovi CD off and jumped off the stage.

"You heard me, Ryu! I said stop!"

Tamao was slowly walking over to Ryu with her fists clentched and her face was not looking so happy. Tamao squared up to Rachael. Someone was bound to do it and Keiko ended up forgetting about it.

"Who do you think you are?" Tamao asked angry.

"Excuse me?"

"You have ears! Use them," Tamao pointed out and advised.

Rachael got her hand, formed a fist. Bent her arm and she swung her arm to punch innocent Tamao in her face but Tamao was saved by Keiko's shield. Keiko was suddenly in her battle costume. It looks just like Xena the Warrior Princess's outfit and it was sexy on Keiko.

"No one hurts Tamao!" Keiko began "She is a kind and innocent girl and she cares about Ryu unlike you! You just want one thing from him! Sex! I know! I overheard Ryu telling my Miki-kins about it while I was getting my belly button pierced!"

"Ooh... Keiko got her belly pierced!" Sliva wooed with amazement.

Keiko hit Sliva on the head with her plastic sword "Quiet you!"

Keiko turns to Rachael and was for one and only time serious look I have ever seen was made at Rachael. Keiko remembered very well what she did at our Wedding Day.

Keiko and Mikihisa's Wedding
Half Way through the Ceremony

"I, Mikihisa Asakura take Keiko... I still can't pronounce your last name. To be more than just a wife. A friend, an Agnoy Aunt, a future Mother and professional private entertainer for moi. The VIH. Very Important Husband," I said saying my own vows.

I feel quite proud of what I wrote actually. Keiko always makes me quote it on our Anniversary Night. Thank God, I only say it once a year.

"I, Keiko... You know, I can't pronounce my maiden name either. But who cares? I am gonna have your surname soon! Anyway, I take you to be my husband, best friend, Future daddy of my kids and personal cook. Since I can't cook but I can cook you fishsticks!" Keiko smiled.

"I now, pronounce you..."

Just then, a complete stranger who I didn't know at all came in. Claiming I was her husband. She was an actress, Rachael hired to ruin my Wedding. An act of revenage for Keiko for getting her into big trouble with Tobo, her husband at the time. I wonder how he is doing, now. I heard he worked at a theme park... Anyway, this lady was fat, had yellow puke hair colour and had big lips like Alvida the female pirate in One Piece aka the Most Ugliest on the Ocean. Like Alvida she was wearing an orange cowboy hat, a purple skimpy top and a gray skirt, Michelle McManus would be seen on British Pop Idol on.

"STOP THE WEDDING! KIKI-HISA IS MY HUSBAND!" she announced.

The guests gasps at the thought that I cheated on Keiko. Only Keiko and Father knew it wasn't true. They both knew Rachael was behind it all. Keiko was not very happy at all with Rachael's cunning evil plan.

Keiko walked over to the crazy fat lady and smiled.

"Sorry, Kiki-hisa is not in this shrine. I am marrying a Mel Gibson," Keiko smiled.

This is the funny part. The crazy fat lady didn't know who Mel Gibson was! Haha!

"Oops! Sorry, wrong Shrine! Continue!"

So, we continued the Wedding.

"And that is how Rachael made a complete baka of herself and nearly ruined my Wedding," Keiko explained.

"Do you have that in video?" Kalim laughed.

"We could send it in to America's Funniest Home Movies and win the cash prize!" Sliva announced now eating cake from the Spirits' food table.

Father hit Sliva on the head with Mother's walking stick.

"You have eaten more food from the Spirits' table than the Greenday band did last year!" Father moaned.

"Ryu... It's your choice to marry Rachael. We all love and care for you. We don't want to see you hurt. Unless, it's physical, FUNNY and we have it on camera for Japan's Funnist Homes Movies," said Keiko.

"Think hard, Ryu. You are wise an enough," I said actually saying something.

Ryu went down on one knee and took Rachael's hand.

"Rachael Asakura, will you become my wife?" Ryu asked. "I promise that I will take good care of you and love and honour you forever more."

"Ryu, you haven't got a job. That last job you had was at X-Law Burgar and that didn't last long," Tokagero brought up.

"Oh yeah! Miki-kins worked there too. Whatever happened to that place?" Keiko asked.

We will save that for another fanfic.

"Ryu..." Rachael began. "I can't marry you. If I do. I will only end up hurting you and you are the only one who doesn't hold a grudge on me. You were the first person that gave me a chance despite hearing the stories of me robbing my parents. I mean the fish was already dead before I robbed them b'coz Mikihisa never fed the dam thing."

Uh-oh! My secret from all those years has been let out the bag. Well, no wonder David Bowie's Dad died. Keiko and I never fed him while they were on vaction...

"Everyone I care about ends up getting hurt or hates me. I am sorry, Ryu. I do love you but I don't wanna hurt you like I have done to people in my past."

Rachael kisses Ryu one last time and he smiles.

"Take care of yourself, cutie."

Rachael walks away. Everyone was reduced to tears apart from Keiko. She was standing tall as ever. But secretly she was touched by Rachael's sudden kindness to Ryu. Keiko was afarid to admit it.

Just then a limo pulled up. The limo driver opened the door and Hao came out. All the girls were cheering him on. We all looked confused.

"I, Hao Asakura will host the Hao Happy Hour! Filled with Karoke!" Hao cheered.

"Stupid big shot! B'coz he is on front cover of Bishie World Magazine. Doesn't mean he is cool," Sliva moaned showing a cover of Bishie World Magazine and Hao was posing in Speedo swimming thong.

Kalim grabbed the magazine from Sliva and pointed to the speedo thong.

"Haha... He has a bigger you-know-what than you do! I saw it when you were in the shower," Kalim shouted.

"Shut up, Kalim!" Sliva raged.

To be continued...