"Since when do you write letters signed with 'Love, Kels' to Biko?" my mom asked when we got to the restaurant.

"I don't know," I said avoiding her eyes.

"Kelsey?" my mom asked, her voice rising.

"What?" I replied defensively.

"Biko asked me if he could take you out on a date tomorrow night…" she said hesitantly.

I couldn't keep the corners of my lips from moving upwards into a light smile. I couldn't believe he had actually asked her permission.

"I don't know if this is a good idea, Kelsey."

"What?" I said a little louder than I meant to.

"When Biko gives his heart to someone or something, he gives his everything…"

"What are you saying?"

"I don't want him to be ruined…"

"Ruined?"

"It's just considering your history…"

"My history?" I asked, getting angry. I had changed, couldn't she see that? Why did she have to bring up all of my mistakes?

"Gosh this is coming out harsher than it needs to be."

"Just say it!" I yelled.

"Even if it does last, and you don't make mistakes with each other, you'll still be leaving in a year and long distance relationships don't often work. I don't want him hurt."

"You think he's going to get hurt?" I asked numbly. "Mom, I've never trusted anyone before. Even when I was little and didn't know any better, everyone I trusted has ended up hurting me. I've never allowed myself to feel this much before…"

She looked at me and thought for a long while. "I've already given him my permission, but please Kelsey… Be careful."

Summer seemed to fly by. I saw loads more animals, each one more surprising than the next. Mom kept a close eye on Biko and me. I suppose she had reason, I didn't have the best record with guys. I couldn't figure mom out. She was strict and loving but I think she wished dad would come through. I suspected she did miss him a little, but not enough to go back to him.

Biko was great. He listened to my tyrants about my father without saying a word. We went out almost everyday. It wasn't always dinner and a movie. One day we would read from the Bible or we would just talk in the giant tree half an hour away from home. He would buy me flowers and call me his sweet heart and look at me like I was the most important person in the world. The thing I loved the most about him was that everything we did was pure in God's eyes. I didn't need to pay him with sex for all the flowers and kind words he would tell me. At the end of the day, I didn't owe him anything. I gave as much as I wanted to, and received it back ten-fold.

I know his friends were jealous because he would turn them down for the day to spend time with me alone. Sometimes we would stay with them, but we liked each other too much to pay attention to anyone else. Arielle was completely torn up. She complained to the others all the time. I felt only a little bad for her.

"Are you nervous for school?" my mom asked me one day.

"School?" I asked, bewildered. Oh yeah… with all the excitement and fun of the summer, I had almost forgotten that I still had to go to school here.

She smiled. "Yeah, you know, kids go there sometimes."

"Yeah."

"Well, you better start packing; I'll be dropping you off in about a week."

"A week? Where?" I asked, suddenly afraid. Was she going to send me back to Canada for school? After I had just gotten comfortable here and made friends?"

"For school, it's a boarding school called Heartland."

"Um... I don't think I have enough good grades to get into a boarding school…"

"No worries, I've already registered you. It was though getting your files from all your schools but I did it, none-the-less."

"What about Biko?"

"He'll be going to South African College; it's half an hour away, practically next door." She must have seen my face because she added, "You can visit on weekends and holidays. It won't be so bad."

I ran to find Biko who was just coming back from running an errand for my mom. "Did you know about school?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he replied surprised by my tone.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him angrily.

"I- I'm sorry, Kelsey. I thought you knew. You know school does come after summer vacation in Africa as well."

I turned and walked away in frustration towards the porch. He parked his truck and came over to me. "I'm sorry. Does it really matter? We'll see each other on the weekends, after classes." He brushed a tear from my face.

"It won't be the same. I won't be able to see you any time I want!"

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Besides we won't be that far apart, the schools are pretty close toogether."

I pushed out a weak mocking laugh. "Half an hour away from each other… It doesn't seem to bother you much."

"It doesn't. I mean, it does! But it's not the end of the world. It's not like one of us died or something."

"Do you even want to stay together?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "Of course I do. Don't you?"

"Of course I do. I'm the one who's worked up about us being away from each other for so long. You don't seem so sure…"

"I am. I mean, I do care."

"Why?" I asked, confronting him. I didn't know why I was being so mean though. He had always told me how much he cared, how sweet, intelligent and pretty I was. "Why do you care that we won't be together everyday?"

"Because then I won't be able to do this everyday," he said, leaned forward and kissed me. Our first kiss. It lingered for a second and then he broke away. "I'm sorry I wasn't more understanding."

I looked at him. "How do I know you won't leave me like all the others did?" I couldn't bear losing him. I hated that all of the sudden, everything was going to change again. I had just got my feet on stable ground and it was going to give way again…

"You won't lose me. I still really like you, and I think I will for a long time."

"You don't love me?" I asked.

"Kelsey, love is such a strong word. I like you better than I've ever liked anyone. I've just given you my first kiss. That counts for a lot. I don't think I've ever been in love, but… if I ever do, it'll be with you."

Somehow I understood. At first I was a little hurt that he didn't say that he loved me, but it'll make it all the more worth while when he did. I couldn't say the same for me. I had told so many guys that I loved them, but I knew I hadn't. I doubted that Biko would have believed me if I had told him I loved him. Well, I would prove him wrong… as soon as I knew I was in love.