A/N: Oh! Thanks to the person who reminded me that I don't have a disclaimer! Wouldn't want anyone to mistake my marvelous and uncopyrighted story on fanfiction.net for something J.K. Rowling might write. Given my obvious attempt to sell this story under the guise of owning all of the characters, I can understand the extreme concern of the readers and of law enforcement people. So:

Disclaimer: Dude, I'm a soon-to-be college kid in Arizona. I own nothing.