"So, when are you leaving?" Biko asked in a faint whisper the next evening. Elise had just left with some friends to the movies, Tammy was at some party and Corrine had also left to some mysterious destination. We had the whole dorm to ourselves.

"Three days," I replied.

"Three days?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah, it was kind of last minute, you know?"

"Yeah... This isn't fair. I should be telling you, I don't want you to go, or begging you to stay. But I can't, because you need to leave."

"Biko?" I said making him look me in the eyes. "I love you. Goodness, I have never met anyone like you before. You are the strongest guy, man, I have ever met. You taught me to believe in the unseen. You taught me to love, even when it was hard. You taught me to read between the lines. But most of all, you taught me to look beyond what someone looks like." He shook his head and just looked at me. I started to cry and he brushed away my tears and pushed away my hair from my face. "I'll come back, after I've gotten back on my feet with Dillan…"

"Dillan?"

"Yeah, that's the name I decided to give him. It means faithful in Hebrew." I put my forehead on his.

"I love you so much…" He took my chin in his fingers. "Marry me?"

"Please, Biko, don't. Don't tempt me… I'm seventeen and pregnant. We're both not even finished school. It would never work. We don't have the money."

"Then I'll wait. We don't need to get married today. We can wait. Until you've had Dillan, until we've finished College and University and get good enough jobs," he pleaded.

"We can't plan that ahead of our lives… We don't know what will happen by then. You'll meet someone else and…"

"No," he said sternly. "I'm not going to meet anyone like you, ever. Here." He took out of his pocket one of those fake diamond rings you get in cereal boxes. He laughed. "I know it's kind of cheap, like cereal box cheap, but I'll buy you a better one someday. It's just a promise ring alright?" I didn't know what to do. He must have seen my anxiety so he added, "If either one of us find someone else, we'll break it off."

"I don't know…"

He took it back. "It's fine…" his watch beeped. "Seven o'clock…" He got up to leave but I held him back.

"Please stay?" I asked. I stood up and we kissed for a long time. After a few minutes Biko pulled away.

He had tears in his eyes. "Let's not ruin anything, Kelsey. Please. Let's save it, okay?"

"It's not fair! We love each other. We're going to get married later on. It's not like I can get pregnant. What's the big idea? Why is God just trying to keep us from enjoying each other?" I was suddenly mad at God. What was he trying to do, control how much happiness I would get?

"No… He's not trying to keep us from showing how much we love each other… He's trying to save us."

"From what? There's no danger here," I said and resumed kissing him.

"There is, Kelsey, there is. Sex isn't just physical, it's emotional and spiritual. I do love you, but we have to trust God on this one. Please. I mean, He,s the one who invented sex, I think he knows how it's supposed to be enjoyed… I want our wedding night to be something special. Let's not okay?"

I was a little frustrated but it was slowly subsiding. I sighed, "Alright… I guess I can't really judge what is good or not, I mean, look at me… I'm six months pregnant."

"It's alright… Goodnight." He kissed my forehead. "Goodnight Dillan let your mom sleep well." Then he left.

It was hard for me to do my devo's that next morning, but I did none the less. This time, I wouldn't let my doubts come between God and me. I told Him how I was doubting Him but I knew if He was real, we needed to be on the same side. I decided that this time I would really let God take over. Besides I was too tired to fight with anyone.

To my surprise, the three days past by quickly without any further disruptions. On the last day Biko came over to help us back our last few things.

"I know this is unfair to ask but, do you really need to leave?" he asked me at the airport.

"Yes…I wish I didn't. I wish you could come with me though." Biko looked down and shook his head. "You'll write to us, won't you?" I added.

"Everyday… I'm going to miss you."

"Goodbye," I finally said.

"I love you, Kelsey," he said and I knew he meant it. He gave me a quick kiss and we were on the plane.

It was there that I met Elise's parents; Mr and Mrs Lavoie. I also met Elise's five little brothers and sisters. It seemed as though everyone I met had huge families! I must have thanked them a hundred thousand times by the time we landed in Paris and transferred onto another plane. Although I laughed and kept the kids distracted with Elise during the twelve hour plane ride, my heart was breaking into a million and one pieces.

Why hadn't I accept Biko's ring? Of course we were going to get married someday, that's what people who were in love did. They got married. Well it was too late now. As soon as I got settled I would write to him and tell him I was sorry… again.

I looked out of the window as we left off. I was again leaving the new found comforts of my life and heading towards something new, yet at the same time old. I was dreading going back. I remembered the conversation I had had with my dad.

"What the 'flip' is wrong with you!" he had yelled.

"Dad, I already got this from mom, okay?"

"You already got this from your mom? She's the (vulgar word) who made the same mistake! She ain't no one to look up to!"

"Well, you sent me to her!" I yelled back.

"Just to get you outta my face all the time! I don't have the patience to have the police crawling all over the house! I don't want you back! You go right back to your whore of a mother and don't you dare come back to the house!"

"I'm not asking to go back to the house! I just wanted to keep you updated, that's all." He hung up in my face. "Bye, dad," I said to an empty receiver.