Before We Say Goodbye
Groggily, we leave the beautiful La Quinta Inn, quietly, and more reserved than the exiteted hopefuls we'd become upon first arrival. If we'd only felt such things for a second, it still is no matter, since the notion is now a distant memory. One wonders, if like this 'vacation', said feelings were ever true. Was it an instant escape? A breath of fresh air? If possible, my time as a careless teenager has inevitably expired, and I find myself even more discouraged than I was before we left. We won't be in Kansas anymore Jorthy, Jen warned in jest. But like Pacey, this has become so much more to me than just an instant escape.
The one thing I hoped to accomplish in this gorgeous, but tragic land, was nothing more than a failed attempt to fly. All systems were go, but somhow the plane went down. Mostly because it's pilot chickend out. I learned something last night, regardless of my humiliation. There is definitely something between me and Pacey. My actions in the former were an unlikley contrast to how I truly felt. If only I could show him.
He's unusally downbeat as he drags Jen's suitcase, and throws it into the car.
"Hey!" She yells hoarsley.
"Long Night? Forgive me Lindley, but we've gotta be getting out of here." He says squinting, as the sun grows brighter by the second. "I didn't plan to sleep so late."
"I know, I'm sorry. I would've gotten you up when I got up but..."
"But?"
"Well the hottie hot bailboy asked me out for breakfast--"
"Nice." I say quietly.
"Have you seen him?" She questions pleadingly. "Hot." She mouths to me with a laugh.
"That's great Jen, but while you were getting you groove back, I was busy sleeping until twelve o clock in the afternoon. Emphasis on the twelve o clock part."He says sighing heavily.
"And how does that differ from how you usually spend your weekend?"She asks putting on a pair of sunglasses, and getting in the car.
"I find it amazing, how you find humor in all this Lindley. I mean especially since sadly, we're about find ourselves crashing back into a little thing I like to call--reality."
"Pacey..."
"Regardless if yours sucks a little less than the rest of us."
"This has been the worlds suckiest vacation." She says rubbing her forehead.
"Hey, I wanted to go to Canada." He retorts.
"It's not the country okay, it's us. All we've been doing is...worrying."
"I'm ashamed of you."
"What? Why?" She asks looking at him in vein shock through the window..
"Did you not have a shopping spree?"
"Yes."
"Did you not eat, sleep, in drink in gorgeous, slightly swanky hotel?"
"Yes."
"I rest my case. By my accounts, this was a fairly decent vacation." He says suddenly looking at me. I freeze up, and wait for him to say something. "Whaddya say Potter?" He asks warmly.
"Yeah, it was...decent. Minus the fact that I stayed in a good amount of the time." I say vaguely.
"And who's fault is that?" He asks lightly.
"Whatever." I say shaking my head, avoiding his eyes.
" Listen, at some point in time, are we actually going to talk about last night?"
"Yes but...I don't want an audience."I say with a nod to Jen. She looks at me with a confused smile, and nods back. Much to my amusment, Pacey laughs.
"I'm tellin' you, she's Christy, you're Janet."
"Pardon me?" I ask walking closer to him.
"Three is definitely company." He says inching closer to me, still laughing as if it was the first time in a long time. "I'm really glad you two came...you in particular."
"And why is that?" I ask almost hoarse.
"I think by...now, you know."He answers, his words slowly forming, as we suddenly stand inches away from another.
"Mm.." Is sadly all that falls out of my mouth,as my mind goes blank, and my senses grow bleak.
"Maybe when we get home..." He begins sweetly.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Lets go!" She says, barely coherent to our ears as she taps on the window. "Let's...blow this pop stand, or whatever."
"We can.." He tries.
"Audience, remember?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"Right. We'll talk." He says with a wink. "I'll have my people call your people."
"Shut up." I say more relieved than agitated.
"As my distractingly beautiful co-star put it--lets blow this pop stand."He says getting in the car, and fastening his seat belt. Jen does the same.
"Well, I wouldn't say I'm distracting." She says simply, smiling at the complement.
"Now who's in voyeuristic despair?" I ask dryly opening the car door.
"Well, there's beautiful...and then there's absoloutely gorgeous." He says looking ahaed, then at me. I can't remember ever trying so hard not to smile in my life.
"Still me." Jen remarks to my previous comment.
"Everybody ready to go?" He asks sqeezing the steering wheel.
"Can I sit in front?" I ask abruptly.
He looks over at her, as she shrugs.
"Sure." She says slightly yawning, and climbing in the backseat.
"Ouch!" Pacey exclaims, as her foot grazes his head."There's other ways to do that you know."
"I need some more sleep anyways." She says leaning her head against the window, as I situate myself in the front.
"Buckle up." He says happily. "Saftey first."
"Right." I reply.
He chuckles as we finally pull off.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
All is quiet, until Pacey decides to turn on the radio. Now blasting, some alt rock song ends and another begins as I look at him, eyebrows raised.
"Someones trying to sleep." I say.
"Right." He says turning it down a little.
"How long have we been driving?" I ask.
"About an hour."
"Great. Only hours to go." I say dryly.
"Si."
"So did you phone your dad this morning?" I ask. "Or, are we just going to give him a surpise welcome home party? For ourselves that is."
"Ahoy."
"Ahoy?"
"What?"
"I think you know that's not spanish."I say slapping his arm.
"It isn't?" He asks seeming genuinely confused.
"It's more along the lines of pirate." I answer." So what'd he say?"
"Just that he was expecting it. Whatever the hell that means."
A hint of anger's in his voice. I have to do something, before he lets himself get upset.
"Don't worry." I say on the limb, brushing his cheek. He quickly looks at me in surprise.
"Jo.."
"The road!" I warn, as we swerve by a speeding car.
"Right--that thing that we're driving on."He says shaken up.
"Sorry." I say quietly.
"It's fine I'm--I'm not worried you know."
"Good."
"Yeah, I'm ready to face the music."
"As in--"
"As in--I'm staying."
"Really?" I ask happily.
"Really." He answeres.
"So...you're letting them put you on meds?"
"Nope."
"I assume you have a plan."
"Nope. I am feeling a bit more upbeat."
"Yeah, but that doesn't necessarily mean everything is perfectly fine, I mean you can still have a chemical imbalance." I say, hardly choosing my words.
"You think I have a chemical imbalance?"
"Well, isn't that what depression is?"
"Joey--"
"I'm just saying you might want to consider.."
"I don't want to talk about it Jo." He says a space between every word.
"But--Fine. Whatever." I say glancing outside.
"Isn't it a beautiful day?" He asks joyfully.
"Yes." I sigh.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
More hours seem to breeze by, as Jen takes the wheel. We all talk and joke, between stops. Our final stop at yet another convient store will be the last until we get home. Pacey goes in and comes out with a bag of sodas and a teen magazine, which I would usually frown upon, but they're the only missing link, to a seemingly perfect day.
"Did you get me a diet coke like I asked?" Jen asks scanning the bag.
"Of course. Joey you have a regular coke somewhere in there." He says getting in the backseat. "Now, onto more important things. They have this hilarious quiz in here--"
"No." We both respond in unison.
"What? Why not?"
"No one wants to take some stupid ninth grade quiz Pacey."I say reaching in the bag.
"Jen?" He asks.
"Oh, I'm sorry Pace, but my arms are tired from driving so much."She says pointedly.
"You don't need your arms." He says leaning closer to the front.
"Apparently." She say rubbing her right arm.
"I'm taking over in an hour, so don't worry your pretty little head."
"I wish Joey could drive." She says.
"Damn." I say wryly."Life can be an enormous bitch."
"It sure can." She says eyeing me.
"What are you looking at me for?"I ask laughing.
"Enough. There is a quiz that needs to be taken." Pacey chimes in.
"Maybe later." I say opening the ice cold can.
He scoffs.
"Turn the radio back on."He says bitter, leaning back in his seat.
"As you wish." Jen says looking at us both with a smile.
Narrowing my eyes, I look back at Pacey. He smiles.
"Oh, boy."He says with a chuckle.
"Did you hear us lat night?" I ask.
"Hear you what?" She asks quizically. I immedietely regret my words.
"Umm." Pacey says loudly.
"Hear you what?" She asks again, as we drive off.
"Go to the bathroom." I say mentally slapping myself.
"No." She says slowly.
"Just checking." I say tucking my hair behind my ear. Pacey just laughs.
"Okay." She says looking ahead. "I'm not even going to ask."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Early morning rears its beautiful head, as the sun slowly reveals itself. I don't remember falling asleep, but it doesn't matter since I'm certain we're back in Massachussetes, if not Capside by now. Pacey has been driving all night, and it shows as he tiredly looks ahead at the road, his eyes batting shut every so often.
"How's it going?" I ask yawning and stretching my arms.
He doesn't anwser.
"Pacey?" I ask.
"Hmm." He says somber.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah." He chuckles lightly. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Are we in Capeside?"
"Yep." He says sadly.
"That's a good thing right?" I question.
"I honestly, do not know. But, we're about to find out, now aren't we."
"I guess so." I say looking back at Jen, who's again asleep.
"I'm the one that's supposed to be depressed right?" He jokes. "Depression-- may cause drowsiness, and fatigue?"
"No, that's tylenol I think."
"Right. She's been sleeping alot."
"We all have. Maybe we're all depressed."
"I can hook you up with a prescription."He says upbeat."After I get mine that is."
"It would be appreciated."I say aimless.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
My heart drops as we pull up to Jen's house. Gradually it sinks in. We're back.
"Well, we're here." He says looking back at Jen, who's expression is fearful.
"Goodie." She says swallowing hard, before getting out of the car.
We just sit and wait as she opens the screen door, and knocks. Grams opens the door, her expression serious.
"Uh, oh." Pacey says sypathetically.
Jen looks back at us sorrowfully before entering the house of doom, as grams looks at us disapointed and angry.
"Well, off to the Potter's humble abode eh?"
"Yep." I say with a heavy sigh. "Can't wait."
TBC: a.s.a.p.:) Thanks for the reviews:D