A/N: Thanks for the reviews ya'll:D This is a rather short update, and it's mostly Joey's thoughts, and a tad fluffay, but I'll be back with an update waay sooner than last time. Next chap will be a turning point so sit tight, and read on...

Beaches

I listen distantly, as the ocean waves crush against the icy shore. Once again I breath out, as frost playfully escapes my mouth, and introduces itself to the wind. Without any particular thought in mind, I trace the inner sanctom of my frozen, now paley shaded palms, drawing small circles. I feel as if I've slept a thousand years, as my body becomes unordinarily heavy. Closing my eyes, I quietly find myself in thought again. What could be taking him so long? I've been sitting here for what feels like an eternity...or twenty minutes. Though with hardly anyone in sight, it's nice to be alone with him. Wherever he is.

"Hey, Jo." He says walking up.

"Hey." I say simply, feeling a smile coming on.

"Sorry to keep you in suspense."He says handing me a warm taco.

"Pacey...I told you I don't eat these." I say uneasily, focusing on the seeping grease that begins to leak from the wrapper.

"You can have my burrito." He offers sweetly, as he finishes taking the food out of the bag.

"Nevermind."I say harmlessly, a smile happily arriving.

"Again, I'm sorry it took so long." He says quietly.

"No, it's fine." I say reasurring him, as his gaze, beautifully absent, follows the waves. "Are you okay?" I ask suddenly feeling the need to hug myself, as the breeze passes like a nosey stranger.

"Are you cold?" He asks coming closer.

"Just a little." I say, surpessing a yawn.

"Here you go." He says smiling, as he wraps the somewhat light, brown coat around my shoulders.

"Thank you." I say sniffling.

"You're very welcome." He says humbly, as he positions himself beside me, atop of the car. "Jeez

"I know right." I say chuckling.

"So, where to next?" He asks rubbing his hands together.

"I don't--Where do you want to go?"I ask cheerfully.

"Well I want to go to six flags but then...That costs money." He says half chuckling, as a seriousness overtakes his demeanor.

"How much money do we have left exactly?"

"When did you start speaking french?"

"Pacey--"

"Somehwere in the lower hundreds."He says heavily sighing.

"That's enough for tickets." I say in pure jest.

"You think we can pass as kids?" He says with a small laugh. "Cause kids get in cheap."

"Nah." I say processing."So, what are we gonna do?"

"Couldn't tell ya." He says, in an I-warned-you tone.

I'm trying-- and with effort I might add-- to concentrate on what we're going to do, and where we're going to go from here. Truthfully, and not within my usual nature, I've avoided any analization of the matter. Curiously, I wonder if he knows that I have no real plans of leaving him.

"Hmm..."He says obviously in thought. "There's this carnivale going on a little later...care to join me?" He asks softly, as he tugs my hair.

I just nod.

The small frustration within me builds, as I find it hard to pretend as if everything is just peachy keen. He's told me time and time that's he's not going back, putting me in the oddest position. I'm deciding to stay with him, and continue on with this journey, as I finally find myself understanding him, and somhow wanting him to escape. I don't know why, or even if it's right. Bu what I do know is that I can't let him continue running, even if a big part of me seems to want him to.

I laugh to myeslf, as I think back to when I was a just child, and tried to fly off that bridge. It was easier to escape and pretend that I could fly, because I knew that just with imagination, alone it felt possible. But deep down, in the loneliest chambers of my heart, I knew there was only a small chance. When looking up at the sky, I would be scared to move. Like my hopes, it was too surreal, and looking down at the ground I suddenly noticed how far it was. It slowly began to frighten me more and more each day. In my life now, emotionally not much has changed.

I know that he can't truly leave. I don't have to be deputy Doug to realize such things. But I also know that he's screwed up fiercly this time, and his father likely isn't just going to let it go this time. So where does that leave me? I wonder. I know that if he goes, whether it be by his choice, or his dad's choice, something in me will gradually weaken beyond my power..Such another weary dissapointment will not only be another pinch of the heart, it'll likely break.

"So carnival it is?"He asks chewing.

"Carnival it is."I reply.

"Can't wait." He says sighing, abrubtly absent.

"Are you okay?" I ask again.

"Yeah." He responds nodding, avoiding my eyes.

"You sure?" I ask intently.

"Certain."

"If there's anything bothering you Pacey--"

"There's nothing wrong. I'm fine." He says quickly. "You're here with me...so what could I possibly be upset about? Got it?"

"Got it." I say, as he quickly gives me a kiss.

I know he's not fine. That's become unfortunetely obvious to me now. A sadness no longer just surrounds him, It embodies him.

"We'll leave in a little while." He says pulling me closer, as warmth kindly wraps around us both. "Right now, I just want to relax and watch the waves ya know?"

"Okay." I say peacfully closing my eyes.

Though pretending has never been a task, in recent time, it's become one. But as I sit within his embrace, I'm reminded of that time. His breath his soft against my skin, as he holds me even tighter. I smile to myself as I realize...there's no need to pretend.

tbc...a.s.a.p