(Author's Note: Thanks for over 35 reviews! If you're reading, please remember to review! Warnings and disclaimers apply to all chapters. This chapter contains a sort of side-story that was originally written due to the response of the readers about the idea of Sasuke hoarding pornography under his bed. The end of the chapter says "end side story". Please note that this is not the end of "And the Beat Goes On"!)

And the Beat Goes On
Chapter 16: Weekend From Hell

"So, let's put this all behind us and get on with our lives."

It sounded like a very easy principle. It sounded like something truly obtainable. But in the end, the road to that goal was ridden with every possibly blockade and probably a bridge or two that was bound to give out as you crossed it.

So was the case in this scenario.

Naruto was home, finally, after a week of complaining to the nurses, complaining to Sasuke, complaining to Iruka and just about everyone else who dared set foot inside his room.

And so, it was the time for new beginnings.

"Your cousin's coming down for the weekend, Naruto," Iruka had said to him, a fake, tense smile on his face, indicating he needed Naruto to do something.

The blond had looked up at him, blinked several times, and said, "I have a cousin?"

Iruka made a face and said, "When I say your cousin, I mean my nephew, and so, your adoptive cousin!"

Naruto frowned, then said, "Oh."

And so, here was Konohamaru, the most annoying eight-year-old ever to walk the face of the Earth, standing on his doorstep on a Friday afternoon. And not just any Friday afternoon. It was, in fact, the Friday afternoon that Sasuke had planned on coming to see him, and there was, in the invitation, hope of a sexual reconciliation.

Of course, that hope and just been flushed down the drain by said "cousin" of Naruto's.

Naruto sighed and opened the door, letting the annoying brat walk in. Konohamaru glared up at him and pointed out the door. "There's my stuff! You'd better bring it in, or I'm gonna tell Uncle Iruka!"

Naruto rolled his eyes and walked out the door, then stared in disbelief at Konohamaru's luggage. Iruka had said that the little twerp was only spending the weekend; but from the sheer volume of stuff he'd brought along, it looked like he'd be staying there forever.

"Be careful with that! If you break anything, you're buying me a new one!"
Naruto grunted in reply and tried to lift up one of the duffel bags. It felt like there were bricks of lead inside. And wouldn't luck have it that the stupid doctor had told him not to do any heavy lifting?

"Stupid brat," he muttered, straining to pick the stupid bag up.

He paused when he heard footsteps on the walk and looked up to see Sasuke walking toward him, looking at him curiously. "Dobe, what are you doing?"

Naruto let go of Konohamaru's luggage and flopped down, deflating with a huge sigh. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

Konohamaru the brat was here, and he had to take his stuff inside. Iruka was no where to be found, saying something about having to stay late at school and finish marking tests. From the amount of giggling there had been during that phone call, Naruto suspected Iruka and one Hatake Kakashi were having hot, kinky sex in the janitor's closet. Not that he wanted to think about that.

And of course, Sasuke was here now. Which was good, because Sasuke could help him take all this shit inside, but bad because he knew Sasuke had been hoping for some form of reconciliation not appropriate for children's eyes. Of course, he hadn't been able to tell Sasuke that there was to be no sex, and thus, no point of coming over, because he'd been home all day, on doctor's orders.

Why did doctors have to fuck up his life so much?

"You shouldn't be lifting anything, and you know that," Sasuke said, sounding more cross than chiding.

Naruto muttered something under his breath. Sasuke hefted up one of the bags and threw it over his shoulder, walking into the house using the screen door. "Why do you have all this stuff anyway? Are you planning to move away?"

It was then that something kicked the dark-haired boy in the shin. Hard. Sasuke dropped the luggage he'd been carrying and rubbed his shin, finding that the skin had already bruise. "What the hell was that!" he cried, looking frantically about the room.

A little brown-haired kid pointed an accusing finger at him. "Uncle Iruka told me about you! He said you do bad things and you're not allowed in the house!"

Sasuke blinked and looked back at Naruto, who looked slightly incredulous. "Who is that?" he asked, slightly bewildered.

If Naruto answered, he never heard him because the kid kicked him in the shin again, screaming, "And be careful with my stuff!"

Sasuke glared murder. "Why you little -"

He growled, then took off after the child, who was screaming bloody murder as he careened through the house.

Naruto winced when he heard a lamp break and got up, walking inside. Sasuke had Konohamaru pinned to the floor, ready to give the insolent brat the beating of his life. Naruto would have dearly liked to see that, but Iruka would have his head on a silver platter and his aunt would make sure he never walked again.

Besides, Konohamaru was screaming "Rape! Rape!" at the top of his lungs.

Naruto peeled his murderous boyfriend off of his cousin, smiling nervously. "Now, now, let's try to get along -"

"I'm calling the cops!" Konohamaru screeched. "He tried to rape me!"

"I was not raping you, you little idiot!" Sasuke hollered back, and Naruto only just kept him in check.

"All right," the blond said, grinding his teeth in an effort to keep smiling. "New rule: No killing, beating, raping anybody."

Konohamaru sniffed. "I didn't do anything."

Naruto had to sit on Sasuke to keep him still at that. "Didn't do anything! You were the one who kicked me in the shin!"

"It was self-defence!"

"Self-defence!"

"Pre-emptive self-defence! Uncle Iruka said you rape little boys!"

"What! Oh, I'm going to kill you!"

"Shut up!" Naruto screamed, and surprisingly enough, both of them did.

"Sasuke," he said, still fighting to smile, "This is my cousin Konohamaru. Konohamaru, this is my friend Sasuke. Just to get you straight, Sasuke does not rape little boys."

Sasuke muttered something and Naruto hit him over the head and hissed, "No."
Konohamaru just looked confused.

Sasuke tapped his fingers on the carpet impatiently. "Can you get off me now?" he asked curtly, glaring at the blond boy.

Naruto obliged, blushing, having realized he was enjoying that position. "Er. . .sorry."

Konohamaru stamped his foot. "I wanna go home!" he cried.

The two older boys stared at him blankly. "What?" Naruto asked, sounding kind of blank. "You just got here."

Konohamaru started some sort of crying-hiccup hybrid action and both boys stared at him. "I wanna go home! You two are mean!"

Sasuke and Naruto shared an annoyed look. Naruto rather quickly came to the conclusion it was a good thing they were gay, 'cause neither one of them seemed to be any good with kids. Naruto smiled tersely. "Now, don't you want to see Uncle Iruka? I'm sure he wants to see you."

Konohamaru shook his head and continued his pathetic wailing. "I wanna go home!"

Naruto kept smiling, although he looked pretty scary because said smile was so forced. "Konohamaru, don't you think it would make your uncle sad if you went home right now? He might think you don't like him."

"I don't like him! He left me here with you!"

Naruto heaved a defeated sigh. "Fine. I'll call your mother."

He stalked off into the kitchen, silently cheering with joy, then berating himself for screwing up. Iruka was going to be so mad at him. . .

He had barely dialled the number when there was a thump from the living room. Naruto hung up the phone, and wandered back, only to find Konohamaru unconscious on the floor, Sasuke standing over him, looking decidedly annoyed.

Sasuke looked at Naruto, who was glaring at him, and offered meekly, "I wanted him to be quiet."

Naruto sighed and shook his head. Whatever was he going to do?

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura twisted a lock of hair around her finger and hummed idly. She held the phone to her ear, waiting for someone to pick up. Now that her father was gone, she didn't have to sneak around.
"Hello?" said a voice.

"Hi," she greeted, almost cheerfully. "Is Ino home?"

"No," said the voice, which belonged to her mother. "Ino went out with Shikamaru. They left about an hour ago."

Sakura blinked in surprise and said slowly, "Oh. Where did they go?"

"They went to see a movie," Mrs. Yamanaka said. "They won't be back 'til late."

Sakura seemed to deflate. "Oh. All right. Thank you."

She hung up and a scowl swept across her face. How dare she! That backstabbing. . .Oh! How could she! She'd thought that Ino had truly meant what she said to Sasuke, she'd thought that had meant it was official, at least between them!

"Whore," she growled between her teeth, her eyes darkening, with angry tears.

She felt so led-on and so betrayed. She was such an idiot! She should have never trusted Ino. It was true that maybe, in a sense, they were best friends, but they had always been out to hurt each other, mostly because of Sasuke. But now that he was behind them, she thought that maybe. . .

And they had kissed. She supposed that didn't mean anything at all.

Sighing, she flopped back on her bed, her muddled feelings forcing any energy she'd had away.

Why had she even wanted to be with Ino? She wasn't a lesbian, and she didn't even really like Ino all that much. All those bad feelings about their rivalry were still there. She sat up, still feeling left out and abandoned.

Well, there was only one thing she could do about this. If Ino didn't want to respect their supposed couple status, then she wouldn't either. Luckily, there was one person she knew that was stupid enough, gullible enough and just plain desperate enough to fool.

She picked up the telephone and did the unthinkable. She called Lee and asked him out.

- - - - - - - -

Wham!

Itachi looked up from his desk in disdain as Orochimaru dumped a pile of information books on the floor, nearly breaking the floorboards.
"Must you?" he asked, annoyance evident in his voice.

"Yes," the other answered. "You're too intent on your work."

Itachi rolled his eyes and went back to copying a list of universities that offered the program he was looking at. "You're annoying," he muttered.

"And you're vain, conceited, egotistical, arrogant," Orochimaru began, counting off on his fingers all the bad traits that his boyfriend had.

Itachi scowled and continued to write out his list, nearly snapping the pen in half as he went. Orochimaru peeked over his shoulder. "So, what'cha lookin' at? Sexology? Bondage-ology?"

Itachi glowered. "How to kill one's annoying boyfriend and not get convicted-ology."

Orochimaru blinked. "Oh. I didn't know they had a program like that."

Itachi smacked his forehead with his hand. Why, oh why, did Orochimaru have to be so incessantly stupid!

"So, what are you really going in for?"

"Psychology."

"Oh! That suits you so well, considering you're insane!"

Orochimaru suddenly became acquainted with the floor, as Itachi threw a rather thick university book at him.

Itachi ignored him and continued on.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Where are we going?"

Neither one answered him. They'd been hoping that the little brat wouldn't follow them, but he seemed intent on following his cousin, even if he didn't like him much.

"Where are we going!" Konohamaru demanded again, tightening his grip on Naruto's hand, so as to make sure he was in pain.

Naruto winced and murmured, "Somewhere."

"But where!" Konohamaru whined.
On the other side of Naruto, Sasuke was sorely tempted to throttle the kid. He gritted his teeth and kept walking. 'Just keep walking, just keep walking. . .'

"We're going to Sasuke's house, okay?" Naruto offered meekly.

Konohamaru stared blankly. "Are you trying to kill me!" he screeched suddenly. "I don't wanna go there! He'll probably kill me, or rape me!"

"Would you shut up!" Sasuke yelled, barred from strangling the eight-year-old only by Naruto giving him a swift kick in his already bruised shin.

The blond sighed. Gods, these two were a handful. Sasuke seemed to have no tolerance for kids, especially not whiny ones, and Konohamaru was just that: whiny and aggravating. He'd been hoping that once Iruka had come home, Konohamaru would be content to stay there, while Naruto and Sasuke escaped.

Not so, and the little runt was tagging along with them and all he could do was hope that Itachi made a better babysitter than his younger brother.

Konohamaru had been wailing the entire time they were walking, like a banshee, screaming about how Sasuke was going to tie him up and rape him horribly. Sasuke had stormed ahead, his stride belaying how annoyed he was. Naruto wasn't quite sure if he wanted to get intimate with the older boy now that he was in such a foul mood.

Sasuke wasn't one to be gentle under the best circumstances.

"We're here," he announced, angrily, storming up the walk and into the house.

He had the common courtesy to leave the door open just a smidgen. Naruto dragged Konohamaru up the walk, his cousin digging his heels into the ground and refusing to go anywhere near that open door.

When at last Naruto managed to drag the brat inside, he was greeted by one thoroughly pissed off Sasuke angrily flipping through the T.V. channels, and two questioning older boys. Orochimaru looked at Naruto and said, "Aren't you a little young?"

Naruto blinked stupidly. "What?" he asked, not understanding Orochimaru's insinuation.

Konohamaru was screaming bloody murder. Itachi smacked his boyfriend. "Do you like being unconscious?" he asked.

Orochimaru shook his head and quickly shut up.

Naruto shoved Konohamaru toward the older teens. "Babysit," he growled, then beat a hasty retreat to the couch, where he tried to soothe Sasuke's ruffled feathers.
Itachi and Orochimaru looked and Konohamaru and the little kid stared back. Then he screamed. "Naruto! They're gonna kill me! They're gonna kill me!"

Itachi gave Orochimaru an annoyed look and Orochimaru just smiled. "I think I'll be leaving now," he said, and made a headlong dash for the door.

Konohamaru sat down on the floor, screaming and crying about how he was going to meet a horrible demise.

Itachi was beating Orochimaru over the head with an umbrella that had been conveniently near the door.

Somewhere, in the melee, Naruto managed to coax his pissed off boyfriend upstairs, and to the bedroom.

Hot, kinky sex ensued.

- - - - - - - - - -

As Naruto's luck would have it, Iruka decided he'd better find his nephew before the police did, because it was well after nine o'clock, and Konohamaru's bedtime.

Naruto, of course, had been stupid enough to tell Iruka where he was going, so that was the first place the brunet teacher decided to look.

The doorbell rang and Itachi looked up from the issue of Cosmo he'd been engrossed in. Really, if he'd been straight, or even bi, he might have found these positions intriguing, but as he wasn't, he found them plain ridiculous. Orochimaru had been passed out in his lap, Itachi's elbows resting on either side of his nose. It had to be kind of painful, considering how the younger's elbows came to a wicked point.

Konohamaru had been on the floor, playing some of the toys Itachi had found in the basement. Honestly, he didn't need the kid screaming at him for three hours while his brother was fucking Naruto silly.

Itachi had marvelled at how fast technology aged. Most of the toys had been brand-new on the market seven years ago, when Sasuke was Konohamaru's age, and amazing to all who saw them. Not now, apparently. Konohamaru had rolled his eyes at most of the things the teenager offered him, complaining about how lame and outdated that was, and how it must have been "a hundred years old!"

The only thing that seemed to amuse him was the remote control car that Sasuke had long since discarded. Currently, he was having a blast using old boxes and blocks to make obstacles and ramps for the toy to smash through and fall off of. Itachi could only hope that Sasuke hadn't been planning on handing that down to. . .

Wait, what the hell was he talking about? Sasuke wasn't having kids, at least, not the way he was going now.

Konohamaru was racing the stupid, noisy thing all around the living room, which was why Itachi had his feet on the coffee table. He didn't fancy getting his newly pedicured toes run over. Orochimaru was a wonder with his hands, in more ways than one.

The only reason Itachi even tolerated it was because it was drowning out the loud groans and the squeaking of the bed springs from upstairs. He'd been counting in his head, each time the screams had reached their peak, then ebbed away. Currently, he was at five. Who knew his little brother had such stamina?

He had just turned the page in his magazine when the doorbell rang. Konohamaru dropped the remote control for the car, leaving the thing spinning in circles, racing to the door, screaming, "I'll get it!"

Itachi was about to comment on how that wasn't really a good idea since it was nine-thirty at night, and that this wasn't even his house, but the brat had already whipped open the door.

"Hi, Uncle Iruka!" he chirped, looking up at the man, while Itachi peered toward the door from his position on the couch.

"Hello, Konohamaru," Iruka said, his eyes darting about. Finding no trace of Naruto or Sasuke, he asked, "Where's your cousin?"

Konohamaru shrugged. "Him 'n' uh. . .what's his face went upstairs."

Konohamaru dashed back into the house, yelling over his shoulder, "Come see this cool car! It's awesome!"

Iruka glanced at Itachi, who looked away and didn't reply, then stepped into the house and shut the door.

"See! See! Isn't it cool!" Konohamaru exclaimed, pointing at the car and picking up the forgotten controls.

"I suppose," Iruka said, looking at the rather battered toy.

It appeared little boys were always hard on the things they played with.

"Watch, watch! I was just about to make it go over all these ramps, then smash through that wall! It's gonna be sweet!"
And with that, Konohamaru repositioned the toy, then tried to make it go forward. It made a rather sick noise, and then went silent. Oh, what luck, the battery just died.

"Awwww," Konhamaru lamented, throwing the controller to the ground. "This sucks!"

He sat down on the ground, crossing his arms in bad temper. There was dead silence for a moment, broken only by the frantic sounds from upstairs. Itachi froze, feeling an impending sense of doom settle on his shoulders.

Iruka was some how going to hold him responsible for Sasuke's actions, wasn't he?

. . . yup, he was. Adults were such bitches.

Orochimaru just kept on snoring, oblivious to the impending scenario.

Iruka was looking up, murder in his eyes, though no one saw it, except the ceiling. And what a scared ceiling it was.

Konohamaru glanced up, a confused look on his face. "What are they doing up there?" he asked, perfectly innocent.

Iruka glared at Itachi. "You are so responsible for this," he growled, then stalked upstairs.

Itachi sighed and hung his head. Somebody tugged on his arm and he glanced at Konohamaru. "What are they doing?" the kid asked.

"Uuuhhh," was all Itachi could say.

He was not explaining sex to an eight-year-old kid he didn't even know.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Iruka had just walked in on a sight most parents did not like to see. Fortunately for him, he couldn't see most of what was going on, for Sasuke and Naruto had conveniently fallen off the bed during their mad romp.

Pushing past his shock, he ground out, "What the hell are you two doing!"

There was a pause, then, some scuffling, then Naruto murmuring, "Oh shit," and Sasuke muttering something back. Some more scuffling ensued.

Naruto was groping around on the bed, trying to find a place where he could easily remove the sheet. When he did so, the whole sheet came off the bed, and consequently, the lubricant, an empty bowl and anything that had been sitting on the bed fell off and smacked Naruto on the head.

Two sets of eyes peered over the edge of the bed at him, sheepishly.
Iruka kept glaring.

Slowly, the eyes started to rise up, revealing noses, flushed cheeks, and mouths that sported bruised lips. Tangled hair stuck to sweaty skin.

Iruka crossed his arms. "And just what the hell were you two doing?"

"Uh. . .wrestling?" Naruto offered weakly, and Sasuke threw him a look that said, 'that was lame'.

Iruka shook his head in dismay. "I don't believe you two. Naruto just got out of the hospital, for crying out loud. The doctor told you not to do anything strenuous, didn't he?"

"Sex is not strenuous!" Naruto cried, rising up in indignation, forcing Sasuke to follow him.

"Yes, it damn well is!" Iruka yelled back, amazed at the blond's stupidity.

"How the hell would you know! I bet you've never had sex, you prude!"

Iruka went red in the face, and screamed, "At least I know better than to have unprotected sex, you little idiot!"

Iruka jabbed a finger in Naruto's direction. "I'm going to leave, and when I return, you'd better be dressed, ready to go and ready to be lectured, young man!"

"Whatever," Naruto muttered, glaring darkly.

Iruka briefly thought that Sasuke was rubbing off on Naruto, in more ways than one.

He turned and exited the room, slamming the door for emphasis.

- - - - - - -

Half an hour later, Naruto was sitting in one of the hard kitchen chairs, wishing he hadn't let Sasuke take him so roughly.

Iruka was going on and on and on and on, about how he was too young to have sex, and that he knew Naruto had raging hormones, and he knew it was a difficult time for him, but sex wasn't the answer, especially not in his condition and. . .

The most Naruto got out of it was "blah blah blah blahdidty blah."

Why did lectures have to be so boring?
Konhamaru had been put to bed the instant they'd got home, and both Iruka and Naruto had refused to answer his questions, however many times he asked them. He was asleep in the guest room and Naruto could only wish that he'd get to his bed soon enough.

Iruka appeared to be winding down. "Do you understand, Naruto? I'm not mad at you, I'm just concerned about you."

Tch. He'd thought Iruka was above the cliche.

"So, you understand what I'm saying?"

Ah, it was time to nod and act like he'd been paying attention! So, nod he did. A gentle smile curved Iruka's lips when he did. "Good. Now, get to bed. You need your sleep."

Naruto nodded again and trudged upstairs.

He wasn't gone five minutes than someone knocked on the door. Frowning, Iruka padded over to the door, opening it and finding none other than Kakashi standing at his door.

Iruka felt exasperated. "What do you want?" he asked.

Kakashi smiled, in that kind of vague, conniving way of his, and wrapped an arm about Iruka's shoulder, leading him in. "Iruka, my dear friend, I'm in need of some assistance. . ."

Iruka looked sceptical, as if to say, 'With what?'

Kakashi grinned. "You see, I have this recurring fantasy, in which you are wearing nothing but an apron and-"

Iruka blanched in utter horror. "Are you crazy!"

Kakashi continued to grin. "Indeed, I may be. But, if you'll let me continue. . .this fantasy of mine decrees that you make me dinner while wearing nothing but said apron."

"No," Iruka snapped quickly. "What do you really want?"

Kakashi dropped the facade. "Well, actually, my car broke down. . .and my house is allllll the way on the other side of town. . .I know you've got a guest room, so maybe. . ."

"My nephew is staying over," the brunet responded dully.

"Oh," Kakashi looked a bit dejected, before his expression became coy. "I'm sure there's plenty of room in your bed."

"If you're staying here, you're sleeping on the couch."
Kakashi sighed. "Please, Iruka? I've got a baseball tournament with the team tomorrow, and sleeping on the sofa always kills my back. I'll be good, I promise!"

Iruka rested his hands on his hips, glaring. "You're just making this up, aren't you?"

Kakashi nodded enthusiastically.

"Liar," Iruka sighed, then started for the upstairs, Kakashi following at his heels like a dog.

No sooner had Iruka shut the door then Kakashi pounced, sweeping the brunet teacher up in his arms. "Oh-ho, mon cherie," he chortled in a terrible and forced French accent.

Iruka tried to push him away, but that wasn't really working. It annoyed him that Kakashi could keep him in place with one hand, while he used the other to reach behind him and lock the door. Kakashi grinned widely.

"And now, my dear, the fun begins. . ."

The crash that ensued woke both Naruto and Konohamaru from their slumber. In a sleepy stupor, they both stumbled from their respective rooms, to look at the master bedroom and the closed door.

Naruto dashed down the hall and started pounding on the door. "Iruka! Iruka! Are you all right!"

"Oh, he's fine, blondie! Go back to bed!" returned a strange voice.

"Kakashi! Get off me! Naruto!" Iruka yelped.

Naruto blinked and stared at the door blankly. And to think, Iruka had been telling him not to have sex. . .

Konohamaru tugged on Naruto's pyjama sleeve. "Cousin Naruto? What's Uncle Iruka doing in there?"

Naruto blinked and looked down at Konohamaru. "Er. . .never mind."

Now, Konohamaru was a whiny, spoiled little brat, but he was by no means stupid. "Is he doing what you and Sasuke were doing?"

Naruto went red. "Go back to bed!" he screamed, smacking the little kid over the head with his fist.

Konohamaru squealed and ran back into his bedroom, knowing that he'd hit the nail on the head.
- - - - - - - -

It was a bright, sunny afternoon in Konoha. Though the air was still bitter, the sun seemed to bring the people out and made them smile again.

TenTen was not one of the smiling people. She hugged her jacket about her, her eyes focussed on the ground, but seeing nothing. Her expression was stony and her whole aura seemed to exude depression.

How?

How could this happen to her?

She'd had hopes and dreams and plans. . .

She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She didn't know what to do.

She wanted to tell Neji, but she didn't, because he scared her a bit.

She wanted someone to tell her that it was all some sort of freak mix-up and she actually wasn't. . .

She wasn't. . .

She was four months pregnant.

- - - - - - - -

While TenTen was moping about her new and much unimproved situation, all the way across town, two other teenagers were filled with the infectious air the sun brought about to the people.

Hyuuga Hinata's small, daintily gloved hand was linked with that of Inuzuka Kiba. Hinata really didn't say much, smiling shyly, a light blush covering her cheeks. Despite this demeanor, however, she kept her distance, and Kiba wasn't quite sure why. Perhaps it was just because she was shy, or because she didn't want to invade his personal space, or because she didn't want her's invaded.

Still, he couldn't help but feel a little empowered, what, with this girl walking with him, holding his hand. She was so sweet, and so shy, that you would have never guessed she was the heiress to the Hyuugas' fortune.

She was pretty too, in her own way, and Kiba found himself enthralled with her. If only she wasn't so shy!
But of course, that just added to her allure. He liked a challenge.

Currently, they were on their way for lunch. The restaurant wasn't much, but the food was good, and Kiba still worked by the code of chivalry, so he was bound, bent and determined to pay in full for both his and Hinata's meal.

Hinata seemed almost. . .distant. Of course, she giggled at all the right intervals, and blushed when he held her hand over the table, and commented on how nice the food was, and so on and so forth, but she didn't seem to be. . .there.

It was as if she was daydreaming about something else.

Someone else.

And Kiba knew just who.

Damn that Uzumaki! He was getting his ass kicked on Monday, right before class!

Nobody ruined Kiba's chances. Nobody.

- - - - - - - - -

While Kiba found his date to be off, Sakura was finding hers to be too keen. Lee was sitting too close to her for comfort, and holding her hand so tightly she thought her fingers were going to fall off. He had an arm draped about her waist, but unlike most teenage boys, had not once reached for her ass.

Lee was true to his word. He made sure that Sakura was having fun, that they did what she wanted, and he made suggestions if she couldn't think of anything. He never once got ambitious. He did no more than hold her hand, and that arm about her waist, and he never once said anything to imply anything.

Lee was just too nice. He was so sweet, it almost made Sakura sick, and she felt so bad knowing that she was doing this to get back at Ino.

But, it had the desired effect.

Ino, with her little pineapple-headed boyfriend had seen her with Lee, in broad daylight, surrounded by people. To top it all off, she'd pretended to see Ino, and gave her a little smile and a shy wave.

To that, Ino had stomped her foot and dragged Shikamaru off, her temper showing in her face and actions.

Ah, revenge was sweet.
But somehow, it had a very bitter aftertaste.

- - - - - - - - -

"Change the channel!"

"No."

"I don't like this show! Change it!"

"No."

"Change it, or I'll tell Uncle Iruka you're being mean!"

"No."

Naruto sighed. Konohamaru had done nothing but whine in his ears for the past two days, and now he was glad he could pass it over to someone else.

He was in the kitchen, making Sunday dinner, because Iruka was going out for some teacher dinner thingy. Naruto hadn't really been paying attention. He'd invited his oh-so loving boyfriend over and decided to make him dinner. Which was turning out to be a disaster.

He'd already burnt most of everything. He wouldn't be surprised if he burnt ice cream. He really wasn't much of a culinary master. Ah, but he needed practice, and Sasuke would choke it down and tell him it was wonderful, because Sasuke wanted to get laid again.

He grinned. He loved having authority.

Currently, said Sasuke was in the living room, watching something or other, with Konohamaru complaining about changing the channel.

Somehow, Naruto could hear the smirk in Sasuke's voice every time he said, "No."

Naruto looked up and out the window. Outside, there had been a storm brewing for the past half-hour, complete with thunder and lightning, and all those other lovely things. The rain had just started coming down, and it was coming down in sheets, so that Naruto couldn't see out the window.

Lightning flashed, nearly blinding him. Thunder boomed in the background, startling all three boys, and sending Konohamaru into tears.

"Naruto!" he screeched, scampering out into the kitchen. "It's scary!"
He clung to Naruto's legs, crying out as another boom rippled across the sky. He was shaking, poor thing.

Another flash of lightening had Naruto seeing coloured spots all about the room.

Sasuke wandered into the room. "Power's out," he declared.

Naruto sighed. He supposed dinner tonight would have to wait. Or be served cold. Either or.

- - - - - - - -

An "And the Beat Goes On" Side-Story

- - - - - - - -

"Sasuke + Porn True Love"

Sasuke snuck into the house, looking back and forth before he entered, and when he moved forward, tip-toeing his way into the foyer.

Once inside, he shut and locked the door, taking off his shoes.

He peered around the corner, tensing, as if he expected to be ambushed. Snickering to himself, he ran as quickly, and as silently, as he could, to the upstairs, mentally cursing every floorboard that creaked a million times over.

He glanced back down the stairs when he reached the top, making sure he hadn't been followed. He made a quick survey of the hall, then dashed into his room and shut the door.

He threw his backpack onto the floor and padded over to his window, shutting the curtains rather violently. He walked back to his bed, now in the sanctity of his darkened shrine, er, room.

Smiling, rather creepily, he dug about in his desk and found some matches. He used the matches to light several candles, which were burned often from the looks of them.

Waving out the last of the matches, Sasuke returned to his bed, still smiling. He dug a plastic bag out of his backpack, then kicked the bulky thing away in distaste. He held up the bag, smiling even wider now.

The printed logo on the bag said, "Chapters."

"And now, my precious," Sasuke hissed, mimicking Gollum from the Lord of the Rings, and slowly began pulling a mysterious item from the mysterious bag, in a mysterious way, of course.
"It's just you and me," he purred, rubbing his cheek against the shiny cover of a brand-new book.

He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the newly-purchased book.

Oh, but this was not just any book. It was the best book on the face of the earth. In fact, it was the best book in the whole history of the world.

Slowly, he released the book out of the death grip he had on it, looking at the triple x headlines on it, and the picture of a rather bronzed chick, showing her tits.

Sasuke drooled.

Indeed, this was the best book in the universe!

And now, now it was just him and the all-sacred newest issue of Playboy (for bisexuals at that. Who knew?)

He opened the cover, careful not to bend the all-precious magazine.

He stared at all the pictures of the nude women, and the nude guys too, his eyes very, very wide. Oh, curse thee, teenage hormones.

Of course, the best part of the magazine had to be the this month's fold-out. And who should that be, but everyone's favourite blond with his obnoxious orange pants down about his ankles and his cute little ass pointed at the camera?

Sasuke nearly passed out. Naruto was such a sex god! No wonder he had a shrine dedicated to the blond in his closet.

Unfortunately for Sasuke, his 'alone time' was ruined by the return home of one insane sibling named Itachi.

Now, Itachi seemingly had no respect for people's privacy, and Sasuke knew this very well. So, as soon as he heard the door crash open and Itachi clomp into the house, he jumped off his bed and began a sort of panic-induced ritual.

He blew out the candles, threw open the curtains and exchanged the magazine for another one he had stashed under his bed for such cases.

Itachi burst into his brother's room only moments later, grumbling something about Orochimaru, something about how he should have left the goddamn door unlocked and asking something about what he wanted for dinner.

Sasuke merely looked up at him from his magazine innocently, lying on his stomach to conceal. . .certain things.

Itachi slammed the door shut. Sasuke sighed. He could only be thankful that his brother never questioned why he was reading Cosmo.

- - - - End Side Story - - - - -