Only When You Say Goodbye
His eyes seemed hell bent on mine, as his hand reached out from the car to take mine. I was determined to be happy, as was he. It seemed so simple. Just get in the car, and all of our problems would once again go away. Only this time there were no problems, at least none so serious as before. There was a pure happiness I felt as I studied the car before accepting his hand. This time, we wouldn't be escaping. We would only be simply leaving, We were coming back this time, and since it was Christmas break it only seemed natural to do something fun, and worthwhile. I'm sure when we go people will be wondering why we left again. I'll just tell them the truth. Whatever that is.
24 hours ago.
The chill and absolute tautness I feel in my fingers as the wind grows ice cold, is a sure indication that I should get up. In theory, standing up after more than an hour of sitting on my ass could be an easy task, though I find…it's not. Little by little I build enough strength to stand on two feet, as they tingle from there trip into slumber land. Giving myself a bear hug, I look forward at the long and heavily snow covered road. How much longer do I have stand here until they come back, I edgily wonder. Dawson and Jen left over a half hour ago, so here I stand…alone. I figured it wouldn't be long before the isolation sentiment kicked in, but the silence and dead air come of no aid.
The increasing darkness of the clouds that come to a standstill, casts a shadow over the frosty landscape. No cars can or has been seen for a while I begin to notice, as I once again walk up the empty street. Seeing no one in sight, my feet lead me back to the Witter driveway as the wind picks up again. A thousand chills goes down my spine as I can't remember it ever being so cold. What a coincidence. It's as if I'm in a movie in the middle of a Russian countryside left alone after all my friends and revolutionaries ran and found an ill-fated home in their near off graves. The only thing missing is random gunfire, overly gruesome death scenes, and my much needed gloves. Recently, there's been too much tv in my life.
"Hello, Joey." A calm voice declares.
"Hello." I say before even turning around. The polite response comes natural since it is as I presumed, an adult. A mother to be more specific.
"How are you?" She asks sweeping snow from her hands.
"Fine…You?" I ask feeling my face muscles tense, as I force a smile.
"I'm doing alright." She says almost ambiguously, looking at her watch. "What could be taking them so long?"
Her tone couldn't be more obvious. She had to know that I was against Pacey being sent away, and put on medication…Her nature seems a mixture of apprehensiveness, and condescension.
"So you're the one who helped him bust out of here aren't you?" She asks, with a small and all be it strange dose of syrup.
"Not…exactly." I say narrowing my eyes to the cold wind…and her. Why would she think that?
"It's fine, I understand all you kids trying to be there for one another, and help each other out." She says coming closer. "But Pacey needed help that I don't think you or anybody could supply him with other than a good doctor." She finishes with a jovial nod.
"You think so?" I ask more confrontational, my eyebrow arching as I look her in the eyes.
"Yes I do." She replies wryly.
"Well then…I guess there's really nothing me or my friends can do now is there…?" I say my voice dripping with irony and defeat.
I do feel the need to let it go. I have plenty of choice words for her and Mr. Witter, but it wouldn't do any good. There's a sudden wave of clarity I feel, thanks the fact that he's coming home. Hopefully sober.
"So…Joanie are you going to be waiting out here until they come back?"
"That's Joey…"
"Oh, of course it is." Mrs. Witter says with a small laugh. "I'm sorry sweetie, I don't know where my mind is today…"She concludes unconvincingly.
"Right." I say under my breath.
I prepare to take a long walk back to my house to pick up some gloves for my almost immobile hands, when the Witter truck approaches. My eyes dart to the passenger side, to see if I spot him…and there he is. The natural reaction is to smile, but when my lips heed the call they hesitate. His eyes seem empty, as he doesn't even bat a lash. I move out of the way, so they can fully pull in.
"We're back." Doug says, getting out of the car. "Come on Pacey."
Pacey rolls his eyes as he steps out of the car, clearly disconcerted.
"Pacey!" I call out, helpless to my own excitement.
His eyes so full of detachment shift almost instantly. To my enjoyment, a big smile dances across his face as he walks over to me and gives me a hug.
"Jo." He says quietly, his hand stroking my hair.
"You're back." I whisper happily putting my forehead to his.
"And I'm not goin' anywhere, anytime soon Potter. You can hold me to that." He says his lips brushing mine.
"Good." I say with a shiver, though his embrace supplied some much needed warmth.
"You're freezing." He says looking over me, and pulling me closer. "Let's get you inside."
"Okay." I whisper starting to walk.
There was an underlying message to his statement before. When he said he wasn't going anywhere…it was as if it was a melancholy declaration of whatever he was feeling for me--but inside, I know better.
He greets his mom with a lengthy hug, as she pinches his cheeks.
"I'm glad to have you back Pacey." She says brushing his hair with her fingers, then dramatically turning away. "Your father's inside watching the television."
"Oh, goodie." He says sardonically, taking my hand as we head inside the house.
"I'll just get your bags." Doug says annoyed.
"Thanks, man." Pacey says aware of his brothers displeasure.
"Well, well…"John Witter says sitting up in his recliner.
"Dad." Pacey says unaffected.
"Well don't just stand there, get over here." He says frivolously, holding out his arms.
Pacey throws him an odd look, before walking over to the belittling man.
"Good to see you, boy." He says giving him a quick pat hug.
"You too." He responds mechanically.
"Well, your sisters say they want to come up here to see you." He says sitting back down.
"Oh, yeah?" He asks, barely seeming to pay attention.
"Yeah." John says looking up at his barely there son. "They say uh--they say they miss you and they hope you're doing alright."
"Isn't life grand." Pacey replies with his traditional charm. "No, that's good. It's good to hear from them for a change."
"Yes it is." The old man says shaking his head contently.
"Here's your bags Pace." Doug says dropping them on the floor.
"Gee, thanks." He says with a smirk, then glances at me. "Dad, you're not gonna say hi to Joey?"
"Hi." He says with a brief wave.
For a moment there was no dysfunction, or awkward silences. Everyone seems genuinely pleased to see one another.
"Hi." I reply feeling at ease.
"I'm turning on the new heater, Ill be right back." Mrs. Witter says quickly leaving the living room.
"Joey…"He says catching my attention. "You're want to help me unpack?"
"Um--Sure." I say shrugging.
"Come on." He says grabbing one of the bags, then taking my hand and leading me up stairs.
"Where'd they go?" I can here Mrs. Witter ask from downstairs as we enter his room.
"Well this is a rarity." I say implying I haven't been in his room often.
"It surely is Ms. Potter." He says wrapping his arms around my waist.
"What if someone comes in…?" I protest, much to his enjoyment.
"That's not gonna happen." He says walking over to the door and kicking it closed, then running back over to me tossing me on the bed.
"What are you doing?" I ask laughing, my voice slightly hoarse.
"Well what does it look like?" He asks faking seriousness…at least I hope.
" Why mister Witter, are you trying to seduce me…on your first day back?" I ask in the worst Graduate imitation known to man.
"What's it to you?" He asks in a whisper, bringing his mouth to my forehead then my lips.
"Do you always make out with the help?" I ask humorlessly. "Because if you do…" I try to finish, but his kiss deepens as my eyes shut tight and my back gives way to the mattress. He smiles.
"Still worried?" He asks clearing his throat.
"Shut up." I say hesitantly pulling him over me. I watch as he grows nervous of my intensions.
With the keys in my hand, I run my fingers through his hair, before kissing him again. My emotions grow fanatical, as I suddenly want to kiss every inch of him.
"We should…"He begins heroically.
"Slow down?" I ask with mixed feelings.
"Perhaps." He says slowly rising.
"Pacey." A voice calls from outside the door.
"Who is it?" He asks quickly, seeming to be more anxious to avoid the awkwardness of the situation than I.
"Madonna--who do you think it is?" The voice asks aggravated, revealing itself to be Doug.
"Coming , Dear." He says giving me a reassuring smile, as he opens the door. "You never fail to hide your questionable masculinity do ya Dougie?"
"Ha…Ha." He responds pushing the door further open. "Listen, dad wants to talk to you--Now."
"Why?"
"Do I look like his personal messenger?"
"Yes."
"I am so incredibly glad you're back to normal Pacey, I mean I was beginning to miss that sense of humor of yours."
"Me too Dougie. Me too."
"What were you guys doing up here anyway?" He asks raising brow.
"Nothing." I say glaring at Pacey.
"For now." He says looking at me intently.
"That's peachy. You might want to get downstairs around now." He says giving him a knowing glance, then leaving.
"Right." He says rubbing his hands together.
"Pace…" I say before he leaves the room.
"Yes, Miss Potter?" He asks warmly.
"Are we going to talk about…you know?"
"No I don't know." He says looking at me strangely.
"Did they put you on medication?" I ask hastily.
His smile fades, as he looks down at the floor then back to me. He again clears his throat.
"Yeah…Yeah, they did." He says nodding.
"Are you still on…?
"No--I mean not anymore. I just got off 'em maybe a week ago."
"Pacey!" John Witter Shouts from the bottom floor.
"I'm glad you brought that up, because that actually brings me to one of the reasons I want to talk to you…I mean besides the heartfelt letters." He says holding his hand up to his heart.
I mentally fight the smile I feel coming on.
"And…you were okay with that…being on meds?" I ask knowing the answer.
"Well--"
"So everything is alright with you now?" I ask warily. "I mean you're feeling okay?"
"Well…almost.. I just have to take care of one more thing." He says leisurely.
"And that is…?"
"In a minute everything's gonna become a little bit more clear." He says walking out.
What is he doing?
"Yes?" He asks approaching the recliner.
"Your mother wants you." He says replacing the batteries in the remote.
"Oh…"Pacey says ironically with a sigh, then walks into the kitchen. "Yes?" He asks the seemingly nervous woman.
"What are these?" She asks holding up a brown envelope, then taking out two sheets of paper.
"These…Right." He says with a heavy sigh. "These are um…these are child emancipation papers."
"What?" She asks crossly.
"There what?" I ask quietly hoping he heard.
"John." She says hurriedly walking into the living room. "Look what are son has given us for Christmas."
"What the hell's that?" He asks sitting up.
"It's a petition." He says quietly. "I want a divorce."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
lol, this is horrible way to end this chap but I'll be back with an update sooner I swear! This one was another set up for yes children, the pre-finale chap, so sit tight and I'll be right back:D
And of course, thank ya for the reviews guys! Always, always, makes my days:)