Another Ball, Another Dilemma
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters (DARN IT!) and there's a line shoved in there somewhere from the song Everlasting Love, which I also don't own.
A/N – This was written a few months ago after I threw an all-nighter to finish an essay for uni. Excesses of caffeine in my system meant that I couldn't get to sleep so this story was the product of about 36 hours worth of sleep deprivation. Which, incidentally is the only time I can really write humour. Ah well, enjoy.
"Hermione, do you want to go to the ball with me? No, that's too boring. Hermione, you're the most beautiful person I've ever had the honour of laying my unworthy eyes upon, please take pity on this fool who's heart you've stolen and allow me to accompany you to the ball? Yeah, that's great, if it was the middle ages! She'd laugh me right out of the room! Hermione, Need you by my side, you'll never be denied my everlasting love, please come to the ball with me? That's just corny, she'd hate it! God, why is this so hard?"
Ron ran his hand through his hair for the fiftieth time that morning. Why was this so difficult? He'd talked to her a million times, but at the prospect of asking her to go to some stupid Valentines day ball with him he had to spend an hour in front of the mirror in his room practising. And he still had no idea what to say!
Letting his temper get the better of him, he threw his shoe at the mirror.
"Ron, she's in the common room, all alone, just ask her already." Harry strolled in to the room.
"Ask who what?" He turned sharply, his ears turning red in record time, "I don't want to ask anyone anything, who are you talking about? Who's in the common room? Is it…why are you telling me someone's in the common room? I don't care." He stammered out guiltily, bending to retrieve his shoe, which, luckily, hadn't broken the mirror.
"I've been standing outside the door for the last ten minutes laughing at you. I know that you've been practicing ways to ask Hermione to the ball on Saturday night. Personally I think you should just say it nice and simple, just spit it out, 'Hermione, I've loved you forever! If you refuse me I shall throw myself out of the common room window!'" Harry clutched at his heart in a melodramatic way before falling to the floor in what Ron presumed to be an impression of him throwing himself out of the window.
He wasn't amused. Just in case the look on his face didn't make that clear enough to Harry, he threw his shoe down onto him for a little extra emphasis.
"Hey!" Harry tried to look indignant but just ended up laughing. "I'm sorry, Ron, but it was just too easy!"
"So have you got a date for the ball then, Cupid?" Ron asked.
"Erm, well…yes…about that," Harry turned red and stood, his eyes darting around the room, checking the exits, "that's what I actually came up here to talk to you about…"
Hermione sat alone in the common room, lost in her thoughts. I suppose I could just ask him. But that would ruin the whole romantic valentines thing, he has to ask me! Plus it would be so humiliating if he said no!
"Hey Mione," Ginny dropped down beside her on the sofa, "what ya thinkin' 'bout?"
"Nothing." Hermione replied too quickly, all too aware that her suddenly hot cheeks were giving away the fact that she was most certainly thinking about something. Or someone.
"Mione," Ginny sighed, reading the look on her best friend's face, "how many times do I have to tell you? He's. An. Idiot." Ginny spaced these words out so that she could be sure Hermione heard them properly, "he can't help it, after all, he's just a man. He fancies you so much, it's totally obvious, the whole of the school can tell. And the whole school can tell that you wouldn't mind being his snuggle bunny either,"
Hermione raised an eyebrow at the term "snuggle bunny", but Ginny just ignored her and prattled on.
"He doesn't get hints, trust me, I've had to live with him for the past sixteen years. He could tell you every single team member the Chudley Cannons have had since 1967, but ask him if there's any possible chance that the girl he likes likes him back and he's completely oblivious to the fact that you've been drooling over him for the past seven years."
Something about the way Ginny phrased this made Hermione suspicious. "Ginny, what have you said to him?"
"Me?" Ginny did her best attempt at looking innocent. Which failed miserably as she was one of the least innocent people Hermione had ever met, "Mione, I swear to you on my life that I haven't said anything to him. Yet."
"Gin…" Hermione's tone was warning.
"Oh, come on Mione, just let me give him a little push! Please! There's only two days left till the dance and I know you've been waiting for him to ask you. I saw you turn down Dean yesterday. And Seamus this morning. Besides, if you go to the dance with Ron, maybe he won't spend the whole night giving my date dirty looks!"
"I knew that sooner or later we'd get to the real reason you've been trying so hard to get me and Ron together. So, who's your date?" Hermione couldn't wait to hear this one. It didn't matter how nice a guy Ginny went out with, Ron found some fault with him and bugged everyone to agree with him that Ginny's new boyfriend had a wonky nose, which meant that he was going to dump Ginny for another girl, or he had bad hair, which meant that he was going to break Ginny's heart, or he didn't have very good dress sense, which meant that he was going to get Ginny pregnant then refuse to do the decent thing and marry her.
Hermione was actually surprised that there was a guy left in the castle who wasn't too scared of what Ron would do to him to ask Ginny out. He'd actually become quite formidable, due to a healthy mixture of muscles gained from playing Quidditch, and an extensive knowledge of hexes gained from the DA meetings.
"Erm, well, he's…ok, promise you won't laugh?" At Hermione's nod, she blurted out, "it's Harry."
"Gin, why would I laugh? That's great news! I can't wait for Ron to find out though, can you imagine his reaction!"
"NO WAY! THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE GOING ON A DATE WITH MY BABY SISTER, HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? GET AWAY FROM THAT DOOR! COME BACK HERE NOW SO I CAN CURSE YOU AND GET IT OVER WITH!"
Harry hurtled down the stairs from the boy's rooms and streaked past them, a look on his face that seemed suspiciously like fear, and clambered out the portrait hole, turning briefly to throw Ginny a smile, before disappearing.
Seconds later, a red headed blur followed, with only one shoe on for some reason. He, too, turned as he reached the portrait hole, but for a different reason. "I'll deal with you later Ginevra Weasley!" Then he scrambled out of the portrait hole and started running.
"He took that well." Hermione remarked calmly.
"Better than I expected actually," Ginny agreed.
He definitely should not have taught her that Bat-Bogey hex. He'd only taught her it so that she would be able to fight off any unsuitable guys, (ie, the whole male population of the earth, not including those related to her) and she had to go and use it on him instead. Thank Merlin it wore off reasonably quickly.
Ron sat alone at the dining table, just picking at his food for once, thinking about Ginny's reaction to the whole little 'chasing-her-date-through-the-corridors-of-Hogwarts-with-the-intention-of-giving-him-a-friendly-warning-about-the-perils-of-hurting-his-little-sister' incident, as he'd decided to call it. It just rolled off the tongue nicely.
However all his woes regarding his sister growing up were forgotten as Hermione entered the great hall. Which left room for his other woes to return. Hermione, I think you're really hot, you have a great ass, wanna go to the ball with me so we can make out in a dark corner? Yeah, that would work, if he didn't mind dying a slow and painful death.
Why was he even torturing himself? She was gorgeous, she could have the pick of any of the guys at school, why would she choose him?
"Hey, Ron." She sat across the table from him. "What's wrong? You've barely touched your food," he met her cinnamon eyes and practically melted inside, just ask her, you idiot! Spit it out! Say it you retard!
"Are you still mad about Harry asking Ginny to the ball?" Hermione continued, a bit perturbed by his silence, "because, personally I think it's really sweet and you shouldn't…"
"Wait!" He interrupted her, "what did you just say? Did you just say that Harry asked Ginny to the ball?"
"Yes," she looked half annoyed that he'd interrupted her and half apprehensive about the significance of Harry having asked Ginny, "why?"
"No reason, gotta go, see you later!"
I should really just give up on him, he's never going to ask me out. Either I ask him to the ball or I go with someone else. Hermione mentally debated the pro's and con's of each option but always came up with the same answer, I want that stupid little idiotic prat to act like a man for once and ask me out! Where the hell is Ginny when I need her? She understands guys way better than I do.
"Harry!" Ron skidded to a halt in front of the apprehensive looking raven haired boy just standing around alone in a random corridor, "Hermione just told me that it was you who asked Ginny to the ball. You never told me that!"
Harry's eyes were doing that eye-flicking-looking-for-the-exits thing again, "yeah, sorry, Ron, you didn't give me much of a chance to tell you," he tried to sidle discreetly towards a staircase but Ron grabbed his arm.
"How did you do it? How did you ask her out?" Harry forgot his escape attempt in bewilderment as he wondered why Ron was asking him this. Unless it was some kind of test to see how much of a gentleman he'd been when asking her out.
"I was a perfect gentleman, Ron," his eyes were flicking again, "I told her I thought that she was beautiful and that she was the only girl I could even consider going to the ball with, as she's the only girl I've been thinking about for so long now."
"Harry, that's beautiful, how the hell did you get up the nerve to say that to her?"
He was startled now, Ron wasn't going to hex him? Things were looking up. "I just looked into her eyes and the words just seemed to come to me." He couldn't admit to anyone, not even Ron, that Perfect Potter had spent the whole of last night rehearsing a speech in his head and that he'd been too afraid to look Ginny in the face while asking her out, so he'd technically asked the spider scuttling along the library floor to the ball with him.
"Right, mate, mind if I steal that from you?"
Mind? Harry would give Ron his Firebolt for not threatening him with disembowelment or something for daring to ask his sister to the ball. "Yeah sure, but you better hurry up and find Hermione if you're going to use it, because you can bet that Ginny will tell her every little detail of how I asked her. Girls are weird like that."
"Crap, never thought of that," Ron started running again, "see you later," he called over his shoulder. If I was Hermione, where would I be? Come on Ron, think, you're a beautiful goddess among mortals, you're true perfection itself, everywhere you go, silly little redheaded boys fall at your feet. Oh, damnit, this isn't getting me anywhere! I'll just start with the library.
"Ginny, you have to talk to your idiot brother! Tell him that I'm tired of waiting and he better ask me to the ball soon!"
Ginny looked up from her last minute adjustments to her Transfiguration essay.
Hermione looked disdainful as Madam Pince swept past them tutting loudly at Hermione's audacity to raise her voice above two decibels. "We're talking about my love life here! It's important! I need that stupid ginger git to ask me out so that we can have a lovely time at the ball and eventually marry him and have lots of little genius children with red hair!" She wailed, dropping onto a chair beside Ginny who just rolled her eyes and put her essay back into her bag.
"He's too shy, if I did decide to help you, I would have to tell him exactly what to say and how to say it."
"I don't care! Just as long as he asks me to the ball! How did Harry ask you out Gin? I bet he was really confident and charming! He usually is when you're around. You could use that to give Ron a few pointers!"
"Well, first of all, he asked me right here in the library. I was shocked to find out that he actually knew where the library was, but I guess he did actually pick something up from you. Anyway, it was actually really sweet cause he couldn't actually look at me, he looked at the floor and said to me…"
"SHUT UP GINNY!" Ron bellowed, sprinting into the library, "Hermione Granger, you are beautiful and please would you come to the ball with me? I've been thinking about you so much, you're the only girl I want to go with. Please say yes!" He collapsed on the floor, panting as though he'd just run a marathon.
"Ron, are you ok?" She looked down at him in concern.
"I'll be fine, just give me a couple of minutes," he wheezed.
"So, will you go to the ball with me Hermione?"
"Yeah, sure, why not?" She said casually, in an attempt to sound nonchalant. Her face soon broke into a huge grin though as she hugged him.
"I can't wait to dance with you!"
"Wait! Dance? Who said anything about dancing?" He had a panicked look on his face, "Oh, no, I've done the hard bit, I asked you to the ball! That's it! I. Don't. Dance."
A/N – There is a sequel in the works, but it's been stuck there for about 4 months so I'm not gonna make any promises about it being up anytime soon. Please Review!