Author's Notes: Okay, so it's been almost a year. And I'm sorry, but I've been really unsatisfied with this. But the first chapter is here, and I swear I'll try and update more often. To be quite honest, most of the problem has been the fact I cannot think up a decent title for this. Ugh.
Thanks To: Rose, who kept me motivated with this. Thank you so much. Jacey, for trying to covince me it wasn't all crap and to everyone who has asked about this is the last 11 months and 23 days. And Jaz, for being the person I got to for anything Jondy-esque. Can't wait till you post something, girl.
Eleven Easy Steps To Having A Normal Life.
The sequel to How To Piss Off An X5 in Eleven Easy Steps
Do you know the four things that I truly love about my world?
Chocolate, shoes, sex and the abundance of hot men that seem to be around me. Especially, but not limited to, hot doctors.
Not like those television doctors that are all wind swept hair and deep, serious voices. Real ones that I happen to work with. Like my partner for the last three months; Dr Jamie Anderson. Dr Jamie Lucas Anderson, who grew up in Florida with one younger sister, and moved to Los Angeles five years ago when this hospital - All Saints Children's Hospital - urgently needed a Head of Paediatrics. He's older than me, about 34, but he's got that total- hottie thing going on.
Of course, I've got Zack in Seattle. Zack and I are like two halves of a whole, soul mates, we love each other and are not complete without the other - and the sex is...
You can use your imagination. But that doesn't mean I can't admire Jamie. He is a truly gorgeous Ordinary. And if I was single, he'd be in trouble... but I'm not. Zack. Zack in Seattle.
I know if Zack was here with me in L.A - preferably waiting for me in bed when I got home after my shift - I'd hardly notice Jamie's existence. And I'd hardly be able to walk. But Zack's in Seattle, and I'm in Los Angeles, and I haven't had sex with Zack in three months, so of course I'm admiring the eye candy.
Just for the record, on three separate occasions, Zack has called me and ... well, the first time he was so totally plastered, he wanted ... okay, this is kind of embarrassing. Zack was so drunk... okay, it's still a delicate issue with me, I'm still slightly embarrassed, but it was Alec's fault and Alec has been severely ticked off by me for it.
The second time, he sounded lonely and wanted to come down and visit for the weekend. But I was working, literally, all weekend. I started on the Friday night shift and ended noon Sunday. So I told him to 'suck it up'. I still feel mean.
Finally, the third time, I was in heat and Zack made the mistake of calling me... lets not go there.
Anyway, yeah. But I swear I haven't cheated on Zack. I haven't kissed a guy in three months. Jamie is a completely honorable guys; he's taken me out to dinner a few times, and out for drinks with our colleagues. And yeah, he's admired my physique a few times, but it's not like I haven't admired his. So yeah. Nothing's happened and I'm not going to let it. I mean, Jamie knows I have a boyfriend... sort of. I mean, I've insinuated there's this guy in Seattle, and Jamie was really nice about it. He was polite, and didn't walk out of the restaurant, so it's all good.
"Jondy?" My flatmate, Fiona , waved her hand in front of my face. "You still on Planet Earth, girl?"
Fiona's a doll. Met her when I was in L.A. the first time, after the whole Zack-dumping-me-at-the-alter thing. She was a fashion major, and she's now a fashion editor for a low budget magazine. She's got awesome curly red hair and green eyes and she's just really pretty. And mad fun. Anyway, she let me shack up in her place while I was here. Her boyfriend is in Chicago working, and she had a spare room.
"What? Fi? Of course I am!" I say quickly. I'm still in my pyjamas, stirring my spoon around the remains of my cereal.
"You were day dreaming about Dr Anderson again, weren't you, Jondy?" Fi said darkly, sipping at her coffee.
"Of course not," I replied, taking a bite of my now soggy cereal.
"You so were. You had "Dr Anderson" face," Fiona said. "Jondy, you have a hot, intelligent, ready-to-commit boyfriend who is really good in bed waiting vigilantly for you back in Seattle and you insist on drooling over some doctor who'd step over his own mother's body for a mirror so he could look at himself? It's pathetic."
"He's a really nice, genuine guy!" I said, dropping my cereal spoon to the table with a clatter.
"So was Jack the Ripper, I'm sure," Fiona said darkly. "Jon, is one night with Dr Anderson really worth your relationship? Cause that's all you'd get out of 'Jamie'."
"Not with my muscle control," I retorted, flicking some cereal at her. "I'd say a week. Which is why I am not going there. I love Zack. I couldn't live without him."
"While your heartfelt declaration of love is touching and reassuring, you have half an hour before your shift begins," Fiona motioned at the clock on the wall.
"Crap." Today was my final shift at the hospital ever, and tonight I was driving back to Seattle. I dumped my cereal bowl into the sink and went into my room to get dressed.
Suddenly my cell phone burst into song, from it's home in the kitchen.
"If it's anyone, tell them I'll call them tonight!" I called from my bedroom, struggling into a pair of black pants.
"It's Zack," Fiona called back. "The man has paranoid ESP. And with good reason."
"For the last damn time, I have not cheated on Zack and never will. It's a bit like Alec reading porn magazines while sleeping with Brin; not considered cheating," I hissed, as I took my phone from Fiona. "Hello?"
"Jon." Ahhh, just hearing Zack's voice makes me feel better. And makes me want to jump him.
"Zack, how are you?" I asked, waving Fiona away and going off to my room, shutting the door.
"Missing you," he admitted after a short pause. I feel a stupid grin spread across my face as I sank onto my bed.
"I'll be back in Seattle tomorrow night," I practically cooed. God I'm pathetic. I'm meant to be Miss Girl Power and here I am melting the minute I hear Zack's voice.
That can't be healthy.
"Max misses you," Zack said. "She's getting really moody and keeps demanding to know when you're getting back."
"I miss her too. But seriously, coming home tonight," I say, smiling at absolutely nothing. "And the absolute second I walk in the door, I wanna do really naked things to you. Just so you can prepare yourself. And make sure the peanut gallery stays away till tomorrow."
Zack laughed. "Sounds like my kind of night."
"Mmm," I say, letting my imagination run away with Zack. "Okay, I have to go. I'm meant to be at work in 17 minutes and Jamie hates me to be late.. It totally messes up the kids' routine."
"Jamie?" All of a sudden Zack's voice is gruff and serious. "Who the hell is Jamie?"
I froze. Crap, I forgot how damn jealous Zack could get. "My partner."
"Put Fiona on," Zack ordered. "Now."
Ugh. This is just perfect. "Fi-ona!" I bellowed. "Zack wants to talk to you!"
Fiona was right outside the door, I knew. She was eavesdropping. It's like a flat tradition. See, I do it to her now. She knows that Zack's like a god in bed and I know her boyfriend has a pierced...
Never mind.
"Yes, oh flat-mate-of-mine?" Fiona stuck her head in the door after a suitable lapse of time.
"Zack wants to talk to you," I said sourly.
Fiona blinked and rolled her eyes, taking my cell phone. "While I talk, you get dressed," she ordered. "And wear something frumpy."
Fiona flopped onto my bed. "Zack? It's Fiona. What's up? Oh, Dr Anderson? Jondy's been drooling the whole time. It's revolting. But she swears black and blue that it's like you reading a porno! You don't read porn? Huh. Then I guess Jondy's cheating on you. Anyway, I've got to go and make sure Jondy makes it to work. Nice talking to you and I hope you and Jondy have a great time doing naked things tomorrow night. Bye!"
Fiona tossed me my phone. Fantastic. Nine minutes and I have to completely fix my relationship.
"Zack," I began. "Yes, I think Jamie is a very attractive guy and I know it's awful of me because we're dating but you see, it's only because I haven't had sex in three months and I'm kind of totally gagging for it. Otherwise you know I wouldn't look sideways at another guy; I love you and can't imagine being with anyone else." I paused, needing to take breath.
I could almost hear Zack rolling his eyes. "Jondy, I trust you. I just called to wish you luck today and check what time you thought you'd be in Seattle tomorrow."
"Bout eight; the sector checkpoints between here and Seattle are a bitch," I replied, struggling into a blue top. "And I still gotta pack my car."
My baby. Once upon a time, it was a sleek, black BMW, probably cost half the White House. Now, it's banged up pretty good, with a dud radio and shoddy air conditioning, but it's still a car I paid for with money I earned doing legal jobs. And Zane promised me, once I got the car to Seattle, he'd virtually rebuild the whole thing for me. And Fiona and her boyfriend, Robert, are coming up to Seattle when he gets back for a working holiday, and they're bringing my motorcycle up with them.
"You've got to go to work, Jondy," Zack said gently. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Love you," I said softly, holding my boots in one hand.
"Love you too," Zack replied, almost gruffly. Even after all these years, he has trouble telling me he loves me when I'm not there with him. Like, over the phone. Or via email, even though he barely ever emails me. It makes me giggle to know that our nagging, pain in the ass CO is now professing his love to a girl on a daily basis. The funny part is that it's me, and I wouldn't change it for the world.
"I gotta go, I'm going to be late," I say regretfully. "Bye, Zack."
"Bye Jon."
I pressed the 'end' button on my phone and threw it into my handbag.
"Jondy, six minutes!"
"Thank you for the update, Fiona!" I bellow back. Okay. My sunglasses. Where were my glasses? Damnit, I couldn't have lost them already, I only bought them last week. I've only worn them once! And to top the whole thing off, my clothes, shoes and general stuff are all over the room. It looks like a grenade went off in here. Okay, the sunglasses aren't in my dresser or in my bad... maybe they fell out of my bag the other day. I drop to my floor and pull out the shoes, scarves, underwear, magazines...
They were there! Yes! I yanked them out and something small and round, like a coin rolled out with them...
"Oh," I said softly, dropping my glasses and picking it up. It was my engagement ring Zack gave me all those years ago. Five, I think. It's silver, very fine band, with a diamond in the middle. Inside, it says, "Jondy - Zack." I think that was a suggestion by Zane or Tinga because that's just not something Zack would think of. Maybe he did back then, but now... things have changed too much. He was more of a romantic when we first hooked up than he is now, I suppose.
"Jondy, you've got two hundred and eight seven seconds... hey, what's that?" Fiona dropped to her knees beside me. "Ooh, is that your engagement ring?"
"Was my engagement ring," I corrected. "Must've fallen out of my jewellery box."
"It's absolutely gorgeous..." Fiona breathed, reaching for it. "I cannot believe you almost lost it, Jon."
I shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I'll get the names covered up when I get back to Seattle and fence it. Should get upwards for 8k for that rock. Use it to rebuild my baby."
Fiona gaped at me and shook her head, sliding the ring on her finger and admiring it.
"Jondy DeLuca, there is absolutely no way in hell I can let you do that. I mean, this ring! It's like a symbol of everything you've been through to get to this point in your lives. I mean, you almost died on that last mission and now you're together... this ring is a symbol of your everlasting, undying love Jondy and you want to trade it for car parts?" Fiona half screeched. "Car parts!"
"And maybe a shiny gun!" I protested, gazing at the ring. "Besides, jewellery isn't really my thing. And what am I meant to do with it? Wear it? Wow, that would be a sure fire way to end my relationship."
"Jondy," Fiona shook her head. "Yeah, wearing it as an engagement ring would scare Zack off. It would scare Rob off. B-ut, I have a better idea."
Fiona pulled my jewellery box to the floor and dumped the contents out. I have a fairly impressive collection of jewellery because Brin used to actually make the stuff. And I have this long silver chain - it's really a bit too long, but it was the first thing Brin made for one of us, I always kept it and wore it quite a lot. At the moment, it had a large butterfly charm on the end of it. Fiona pulled the butterfly off and threaded the ring onto it.
"There. Sentimental yet stylish," Fiona smiled. "My mother always told me if I had to break off an engagement, not only would she kill me, but it was the right thing to do to give the ring back to the groom. I'm not sure why, something about etiquette."
"Fi, I'm hardly a lady," I said, taking the chain with my ring on it from her. "And I have so gotta go."
"You so do," Fi agreed. "Catch you later, babe. Don't you dare leave without me, okay?"
"I promise," I grinned. "See you tonight."
I grabbed my bag, jamming my sunglasses in it. "I need to pack when I get home," I sighed, looking around my room. "Know where I can get some boxes?"
Fiona just stared at me. And then at the shoes, clothes, underwear and general stuff that was thrown haphazardly around my room. "You need to take all of this back with you to Seattle?" she said faintly.
"Yup," I said, running my fingers through my now shoulder length brown hair. It's grown a lot since I was in Seattle last. I've had Fiona cut it twice since I moved to Seattle. Fi's into all that hair and make up stuff I've never taken the time to learn. So, she's educated me a bit. I swear we've blown a million dollars on shopping sprees this summer.
Traffic was surprisingly good this morning; but maybe that was just because I was late.
Damnit.
Fiona doesn't have to go into work until 10 am, lucky girl. And even then, it's up to her how long she stays. And she spends her days shopping for her magazine.
I parked my car quickly and raced through the hallways. I'm working in the terminal part of the hospital - children with cancer, AIDS, things that can't be cured, just be managed. I honestly thought that working with these kids would be depressing and awful. But most of my patients are really great kids; I've never seen most of them cry, they're usually happy kids and they're always happy to chat with me.
I race into the nurses station, where I meet Jamie of a morning, grabbing my patient files from my pigeon hole as I race past, flipping through them quickly.
"Good Morning, doctor," Jamie is waiting for me patiently as I skid to a stop. "Running a little late this morning."
I shrugged, giving him a smile. "Sorry Dr Anderson, family business. Won't happen again."
"It won't," Jamie said as he motioned for me to follow him. "Today's your last day, isn't it Jondy?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"Well, I was talking to the committee last night," Jamie said, making notes in a file. "And Professor Dylan emailed me this morning. All Saints would like to offer you a full time job here, working with cancer patients. You seem to have an aptitude for working with them."
I blinked. "A full time job?"
Jamie nodded. "The hospital is willing to pay you a five figure sum, plus a car and living expenses for a month. We're hoping you'll accept. I'm hoping you'll accept."
I blinked. Wow. Too much to process. "I thought All Saints applied for a government pay-out. How can I be paid that much if we're eligible for that pay-out?"
Jamie looked at me. "The extra funding is available to us via a technicality. Don't worry about that, Jondy. I would really like you to stay here. I think you could go far."
I sighed. "Jamie, I'd love to take this job. It's a great opportunity and all that. But I've got family in Seattle."
Jamie gave me a look. "A boyfriend?"
"Yes," I replied, shrugging. "I'm sorry. I have to say no."
Jamie nodded, a blank expression on his face. "Well, of course, it's your decision. I'd be happy to act as a reference for any jobs in the medical profession you chose to pursue."
"Thank you," I smiled at him. "I hope I haven't been too much of a pain in the ass this summer."
"You're certainly not what I expected," Jamie replied, and then smiled at me. "In a good way, Jondy. And I know the kids have appreciated you. You relate to them."
"I love kids," I replied, shrugging. "We should probably get moving."
"Yes," Jamie nodded. "We should. I need to go and discuss some treatment with Dr Lawson. Can you go and check on Danielle?"
"Did she start her chemo yesterday?" I asked, looking at Danielle's file.
"Yes. She's worried about her hair," Jamie rolled his eyes. "I'll never understand young girls."
"I'll go talk to her," I smiled.
"I'll be in soon," Jamie replied.
Danielle is twelve. She just makes me want to have a daughter of my own. She's just been diagnosed with leukaemia and had her first round of chemo yesterday. I remember the tests that were run on me when I was at Manticore and I just feel so sad for her.
"Hey Danielle!" I walk into her room. She's tucked up into bed, her long black hair done up in ribbons. "How are you feeling?"
Danielle looks up at me. "Dr DeLuca!" She looks at her hands. "Dr Anderson said I was going to lose all my hair."
I shook my head and sighed. "Danielle, you're going to lose your hair. But it might not be such a bad thing. I mean, yes, it won't be great but would you rather be sick or would you rather get well?"
"Get well," Danielle said quietly.
I nodded. "Exactly. And you'll grow it all back. I didn't have hair until I was eight."
Danielle looked up. "Why not?"
"Uh, I was sick as a small child. Neurological problem. I've got it covered now." A corrupt nurse in the Dispensary. She had a penchant for lipsticks. Lipsticks Fiona was always being sent from make up companies, because of the whole magazine thing. I just paid Fiona a couple of bucks for the lipsticks she didn't use.
"So, it just started grow back?" Danielle reached out to stroke my hair.
"Yup. And I cut it short and it grew back. Everything in this world is balanced; for every good thing, there is a bad thing and a neutral thing. Everything will work out, Danielle. But you will lose your hair."
Danielle frowned. "Does that mean something good will happen to me next?"
"Definitely," I said with a grin. "Was the chemo too awful?"
Danielle shook her head. "I never want to do it again. I hate it."
"Well," I said, standing up. "I've got nothing to do till Dr Anderson comes and finds me."
"Can you get some ice cream? I'd kill for some ice cream," Danielle said.
So, I spent the next hour with Danielle, playing Monopoly and eating vanilla ice cream. Jamie turned up eventually and I had to leave her with the rest of the tub of ice cream.
The rest of the day was slightly boring. I had to sit through a meeting about the hospital, which meant by the time my shift was finished I was starving.
I went and cleared out my locker and left the hospital. It was after five and I wanted to be leaving L.A. by eight...maybe ten tonight. Had to pack my car and have one last dinner with Fiona and go.
Maybe have a cat nap.
"Jondy!" I turned around to see Jamie jogging towards me.
"Jamie, I thought you'd gone already," I said, as he paused beside me. "Your shift ended before mine."
"No, no. Not for a few more hours. No rest for the wicked," Jamie said with a grin. "I wanted to give you this." He handed me a letter. "A reference, in case you decide to apply for a job in a Seattle hospital. I'm sorry you won't stay with us, but if you ever decide to come back to L.A., there will always be a job here for you."
"That means a lot to me," I replied. "I wish I could stay, but I know I wouldn't be happy without my boyfriend and family."
"I wish you could stay too, Jondy," Jamie said, touching my face.
"I better go," I took a step backwards. "Thank you for the reference."
Whoa. Whoa. Jamie just totally put the moves on me. I cannot believe it. I told him I had a boyfriend. I've never had some guy flirt with me who knew about Zack...
In Jamie's defence, if he met Zack, he wouldn't have even considered flirting with me. Zack has this hobby which includes dismembering any guys that look at me the right - or wrong - way.
I threw my stuff in the car and climbed in. Okay, go home, pack my stuff, eat something with Fiona, shower and leave. I'd have to leave the cat nap until I got to Seattle. Damnit. This is what I get for staying up till 3am watching old Pre-Pulse soaps.
I pulled up outside Fi's and grabbed my bag, racing inside. Fiona was sitting on the couch, typing away at her laptop.
"Fiona!" I burst in, throwing my satchel on the kitchen table. "You will never guess what happened to me! God, I have to pack. Don't suppose you found those boxes for me? Wanna order pizza or Chinese?"
"Jondy! Breathe!" Fiona stood up, pulling her reading glasses off. "Go do whatever you have to do. I've got both pizza and Chinese in the fridge. You just have to nuke it when you're hungry. Don't freak out."
"Thank you!" I said, flinging my arms around her. "You nuke dinner, I'll start packing?"
"Jon, go shower. And stop talking," Fiona sighed. "Honestly, Zack must either be deaf or be really, passionately in love you."
I stuck my tongue out at Fiona and raced into my room, to get some clean clothes.
And all my belongings were in boxes or bags, ready to be packed into my car. A pair of jeans and a new pale blue top lay folded on my bed.
"Well, since last issue went to press yesterday, I called in sick this morning and worked from home," Fiona came up behind me. "There was no way you could make the sector curfew unless I packed for you. You suck at packing."
"You totally rock," I said, amazed. "But... some of these bags aren't mine. And neither are those clothes."
"Jondy! The amount you pay me for rent covers me and Rob for a couple of months! You pretty much paid for those two bags," Fiona grinned. "Besides, we used them the issue before last, and I already have way too many."
"And the clothes?" I held up the top. It was made out of a beautifully silky fabric.
"Going away present. Thought you should look sexy when you and Zack hook up," Fiona said with a grin. "It's all good."
"It is," I smiled at her, hugging her. "You've been the best friend I could wish for, Fi."
"You too, Jondy," Fi replied, hugging me back. "And don't think just because you're going back to Seattle, we won't talk. I'll ring you every weekend, and Rob and I'll bring your bike to Seattle soon, I promise."
"Zack and I'll be back and forth a lot, I hope," I replied. "I mean, he can freelance with that PI firm he's with and I can specialize or something. We're going to see each other. I promise."
"Good. Now, go shower!" Fiona said, whacking me gently on the shoulder.
Okay, it took me awhile to get ready. I had the shower and changed, Fiona and I ate the Chinese and the pizza, then we had a tearful farewell and then I had to go and get my sector passes from the kitchen; I never was much at the organization thing.
So, yeah, I got away at nine. I had two giant bags of M&Ms to keep me on a sugar-high, a couple of cans of Coke, and my cell phone was hooked up to hands-free. So I could completely focus on driving.
A lot has changed in three months. After the whole debacle with Vivisys, everyone except Jace relocated to Seattle; we decided we'd all stay in Seattle until after Max's baby is born in case someone else comes after us. Jace decided to go back to Canada, because that's where Maxine - Maxa, as we all call Jace's daughter - goes to school.
Zack got a new job, which we're all still a bit shocked about - for the last four years, he divided his excessive amounts of time between Jam Pony and doing leg work for Logan and Eyes Only. Now? Well, he went and got himself a street reputation for the guy that solves everything. He's now working with a PI firm. It pays better than Jam Pony ever did. But I'm worried, because he's uncovered a few murders high up in the local government. I'm worried someone might put the hit on him.
Syl and Krit decided to move into Max's old building, a few apartments down from Original Cindy's. Syl and Brin, reunited after five years, borrowed some money of Normal (yes, money. Yes, Normal) and started up a gallery combining Syl's photography talent and Brin's painting and drawing talents. I know they haven't managed to pay Normal back yet, much to Normal's horror. Brin said something about working part time at Jam Pony to work off the debt.
Alec still works at Jam Pony. I think Alec will be working there when Normal's dead.
It's just... three months is a long time to be gone, really. I completely missed Evie's ninth birthday; her present is in one of the bags that Fiona packed for me. Rain will have applied for college - I have absolutely no idea what she wants to study. I have no idea what went down between Tinga and Charlie - or Tinga and Zane - while I was gone and everything is just totally messed up. I hated being away from them for so long.
I don't make it to Seattle until the next night. Twenty four hours of driving (ahh, the creation of sector checkpoints on freeways) makes a girl really jumpy.
Or maybe that was the M&Ms. And the Coke.
I've never been so pleased to see the Space Needle on the horizon in my life. Or Seattle.
I practically hissed at the Sector Cop who questioned the authenticity of my pass. Luckily, he let me through.
Thank God.
AN: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I'd love you forever if you could review and let me know what you thought, and what you'd like to see (even though I've worked out most of it. ;))