.: Ignorance is a bliss :.

-Kiarah-chan-

Summary:

Sanzo x Goku, Hakkai x Gojyo: Never listen to Goku's explanation on adults sexual behaviors at night, he just makes everything sound idiotic… and strangely erotic… well, to Sanzo at least.

Note:

I got the idea from a chain message or whatever you call it. Actually, I just copied the message, changed the names of the characters and added a few things. Well, hope you enjoy reading…

Chapter 1 One-Shot

"Ne ne, Sanzo." Goku chimed, trying to get the attention of the monk. Well, it would seem that a certain 'something' was bothering our little saru. And apparently, he went to seek the almighty Sanzo-sama's help.

"What is it saru?" the blonde asked, not even caring to look at the boy. He had expected a stupid and utterly pointless question to fall out of the boy's mouth, like "How many meat buns can I eat before I puke", or "Gojyo said that after my tooth falls, my head would fall of next, is that true?" but instead, he got well, a stupid, utterly pointless, naïve and innocent question instead.

"Sanzo, what are the noises that's coming from Hakkai and Gojyo's room at night?" this question caught Sanzo completely off guard. Believing that the priest was still listening, Goku continued "They sound like they're fighting, but why would Hakkai be fighting Gojyo?"

Oh, sweet, naïve, innocent and oblivious Goku, Sanzo just didn't have the heart to ruin the child's innocence (Sanzo didn't have a heart… period…), but he couldn't leave the boy confused now can he? So, the monk told the boy to hide in Gojyo's room tonight if he wanted to find out, this is exactly what the monkey did.

.o0o.

"Hey Sanzo!" Goku called out, the next morning. The boy was in a seemingly good mood for someone who had just experienced the torture of watching his two best friends screwing each other madly. This bothered Sanzo.

"So, you figured out why Gojyo and Hakkai keep making noises at night?"

"Yup!" Goku answered in a cheerful way. "Guess what I was right!" he was right? This caused Sanzo's eyebrow to arch. Did the saru already know about Gojyo and Hakkai's sexual relationships with each other? Hell, did Goku know what sex was? The thought of Sanzo considering the fact that the boy might have a brain cell after all crumbled into dust when the monk heard the next few things the saru said, "I knew it, they were fighting!"

'What? How innocent can you get? And to mention stupid.' Sanzo thought

"But they weren't fighting each other though… you see" here we go, Goku was about to describe EVERYTHING he saw Gojyo and Hakkai do to each other. This would have been pure torture, if Goku weren't going to describe it in his idiotic manner.

"You see it started out Hakkai and the kappa sat in the bed for a while, then the kappa started kissing and hugging Hakkai. After a while I figured Hakkai was getting sick because his face started looking funny. Gojyo must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside Hakkai's shirt to feel his heart, just like the doctor would, except Gojyo's not smart as a doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding Hakkai's heart.

"I guess Gojyo was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. Gojyo's hand must have been cold because he put it in Hakkai's pants.

"About this time Hakkai's sickness got worse because he began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the bed. This was when his fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Hakkai told the kappa he felt really hot

"Finally, I found out what was making them so sick… a big eel had gotten inside Gojyo's pants somehow! It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest!"

Goku saw Sanzo's eyes twitch, he had thought it was because Sanzo didn't believe him about seeing an 'eel' in Gojyo's pants but the truth was Sanzo was just pissed because, well, here's Sanzo's thoughts

'Hell, sick! Those two were just plain horny, and hasn't the brat seen his own cock before? Ch, he probably just never experienced a boner… I'll have to change that…' bad thoughts Sanzo, bad thoughts! Well, Goku put aside Sanzo's twitching eyes and continued his story.

"Anyway, Gojyo grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Hakkai saw it, he got really scared… his eyes got big and his mouth fell open, and he started calling out to god and stuff like that. He said it was the biggest one he's ever seen; I should tell him about the ones down at the lake by the inn!

"Well, Hakkai got brave and try to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden, he grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while Gojyo took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it on the eel's head to keep it from biting again.

"Then, Hakkai spread his legs out so he could get a scissor-lock on it and Gojyo helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight! Hakkai started groaning and squealing and Gojyo almost upset the bed. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them.

"After some time, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of it's insides were hanging out. Hakkai and Gojyo were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to kissing and hugging anyway…

"But, shit! The eel wasn't dead. It jumped straight up and started fighting again. I guess eels are like cats… they have nine lives or something. This time, Hakkai jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it, while mashing it by going up and down.

"After about 35 minutes struggling, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because Gojyo peeled it's skin off and flush it down the toilet."

After Goku finished his 'little' tale he stared at Sanzo to see his reaction… but Sanzo just smirked and dragged Goku into his room

.o0o.

Much later, at that very same day…

"Oy Hakkai, have you seen Goku and Sanzo. Cause I haven't seen them all day." Gojyo asked his lover as he entered the kitchen.

"Well, come to think of they have disappeared, haven't they? Last time I saw them was early morning… they said something about them having to kill an eel and that it would take them a long time till they do kill it…" Hakkai said, as he recalled the exact words Sanzo had told him as the monk pulled Goku into his room.

The lovers stared at each other and shrugged. Whatever 'eel' that they're companions had set of to 'kill', they were sure that it was nothing that Sanzo and Goku couldn't handle. If it weren't for the constant groaning that came from Sanzo's room they would have been absolutely certain the 'eel' wasn't much harm.

End

Author's note:

Ya, ya… I know it's stupid, but don't get mad at me. I wrote this when I was in a moment of insanity, so technically you can't blame me… I think… and don't worry I won't be writing stuff like this anymore if you don't want me to, but if you do just tell me and I'll start another one, k?

Comments, suggestions and/or flames are much appreciated.