Chapter Twelve – Never Have You, Nor Ever Will You

Draco broke his paralysis and moved slowly towards the group. Harry felt his eyes welling up with tears, and was barely aware of the stifled sobs from Hermione below him. Ron's body quivered with her own, limp and dangling. Hermione grabbed at his arm frantically, her fingers slipping with the blood, which was still softly trickling from his arm.

"Ron…Ron, please!" she cried, her hands becoming redder and redder from her friends blood, her robes shining and drenched. But no response came from Ron. His face was a sickly green, fading into pale. His eyes were still wide open and staring. Harry finally tore his eyes away from him, and turned to Draco, who looked terrified.

"Dear God, what have I done?" he whispered.

"You didn't do anything. It was-"

"Me." Hermione said softly, and they both turned to her. She still clutched Ron tightly in her arms, tears drying on her face. Draco gently put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hermione, it wasn't your fault. He was confused. If anything, I should be to blame."

"Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself!" Harry yelled, and Draco shot a look of surprise at Harry. Harry curled his hands onto fists, and clenched his teeth. "You attention seeking prat! Everything you do if for attention! Oh look at me! I cut myself! Look at me! I'm to blame for all this. Let me live in misery! This is my fault! WELL GUESS WHAT DRACO. Time for you to STOP thinking about yourself and how much others THINK about you, and start thinking about my BEST FRIEND BEING DEAD."

Draco stood silently, staring at Harry. Hermione sniffled, and looked up at him as well. Harry's hands, which were still clenched into fists, were quivering, his breathe coming out choppy and hard. He fought back more tears, and wiped them furiously away with his sleeve as he felt them running down his hot cheeks. Hermione sniffed again.
"Harry…really. Now isn't the time t-"
"Well you know what Hermione? It IS your fault. He loved you. You didn't REALIZE that? You spent all your time with HIM," he pointed angrily at Draco, whose face was now a calm, indecipherable look. His eyes were cold and steely again, glassy from tears, but aimed sharply in Harry's direction. "Ron felt like he needed to be like HIM to get your attention. All you needed to do was come to us, Hermione. We're you're best friends, we understa-"

"You don't understand ANYTHING." Hermione yelled, and this time, it was Harry's turn to look shocked. "You never would have! That's why I had to go to HIM."

"But we HATE HIM!" Harry bellowed.
"Hello! Standing RIGHT here!" Draco said, looking at Harry incredulously. Harry gave him a look of exasperation, and turned back to Hermione.

"So you're saying this is my fault?" Hermione snapped. She looked slowly back down to Ron's body, in which she tenderly pushed back the red hair that fell over his face. Another tear rolled down her cheek, falling softly onto his pale face. Her fingers slid up his cheek to his eyes, which she closed. She took a long shuddering breath and slowly laid Ron's body onto the floor, standing up shakily. She then turned a steely gaze to Harry. He stood, not knowing what to say. Was he really blaming her? He felt his face getting hot again. He needed to blame someone. But was it worth blaming the only friend he had left?

The three children stood in the great hall, around the body of their dear friend and enemy. And for once, no one knew what to say.

The next week seemed to go in slow motion for Harry. The news of Ron's death spread like wildfire after a chance appearance by Neville, who came upon the trio and Ron's body while heading to the common rooms. Unlike the death of Cedric Diggory, who was popular among staff and students, the glum demeanor of the school was no where to be found. Harry felt as though he was only this dark cloud floating through the halls, as everyone else went on with their days. Everything was extra bright, sharp, and hard. Rumors started. Bed by the surprising circumstances of his death.

"I heard he was into drugs." Harry heard some fifth years whispering.

"Stupid kid. Trying to make a big scene. Why didn't he just throw himself off the Astronomy tower like everyone else?" another said, and Harry felt himself angered by these whisperings in the halls, in the classes. The only people who seemed to share his gloom were Hermione, the Weasley's, and surprisingly, Draco.

Two days after Ron's death, Harry passed Draco in the hall. He stopped, thinking twice about what he was about to do. Then, turning suddenly. He grabbed Draco and pulled him into a nearby classroom. A confused Draco followed. He stopped in the room and turned to Harry, who was closing the door and locking it. He had a smirk on his face, but quickly wiped it off. This was no time for feeling to intervene. He hated him. He hates him. So much. That's right. He loves him. I mean, hates him.

"Draco I-"

"What the hell do you want with me, Potter?" Draco spat, giving him a look of sheer distaste.

"I…uh, wanted to see how you were. We haven't spoken since-"

"Yeh well, I'm fine." He said, coldly. I miss you.

"Well, that's good. I guess." Harry said, awkwardly.

"Why the hell do you care?" Draco narrowed his eyes, and crossed his arms.

"I-I…care. About….you." Harry said quietly, looking down. "I love y-"

"DON'T!" Draco said loudly. Harry looked up at him surprise. He was backed against a desk, a look of utter terror in his eyes. He frowned deeply, and shook his head. "Don't even spew that shit on me. Don't even…"

"Draco, I-"

"Shut UP! HARRY! SHUT UP!" Draco said, his voice growing higher, a note of pleading in it. Harry looked him over closely. It hurt him to see Draco so distressed. And suddenly, he hated himself for putting him through so much.

"I'm sorry. I love you" he said quietly.

"Shut up!" Draco said again, angrily.

"I. Love you." Harry said again, a bit more strongly. He had to make Draco know, he had to make him understand. He took a step towards Draco, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Stop!" Draco said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. But Harry advanced slowly, pushing Draco softly towards the wall. He hit with a small thud, and Harry took Draco's shoulders in both hands, shaking him slightly.

"I. LOVE. YOU. DRACO." Harry said again, but this time, Draco didn't cry out. He didn't flinch or try to escape. He merely looked up to Harry, his eyes wide and filled with tears.

"No you don't. You used me. To make yourself feel big. You took advantage of my feelings for you." With that, Harry let go, and Draco made his way slowly towards the door. "You don't love me,"

You never did." And Draco shut the door. Harry stood alone in the classroom, staring at the door that Draco had just exited out of. And for the first time since before the day he first kissed Draco, he felt completely and utterly alone.