If you feel sad,
Depressed, upset,
Or even slightly mad,
You'll get a big lift,
'cause you're talking with,
The Depressed Ninja Tow Truck Man
Naruto and the DNTTM are sitting in a the tow truck driving along. Narto turnes to his companion. "Thanks for picking me up."
"Ees no problem."
"I'm just having a terrible day. My car broke down and nobody would stop and help."
"Heh, I weesh I had your problem. Your problem is nothing compared to the porblems I have, 'olways."
"I guess they didn't stop because I have the demon fox sealed inside of me."
"Oh, please. At least your demon is sealed. I have a demon leeving in my house, eating my food, and taking my money, 'olways."
"You do?"
"Yes. My WIFE!"
"Your wife can't be that bad."
"Oh no? My wife weighs over 300 pounds, so when she bends over you can only see only two things. The right cheek and the left cheek."
"Well, that's still not too bad," Naruto tries optimistically.
"When we get into bed every night she kicks me in her sleep, 'olways. And I only get one foot of bed. I have to sleep with only one cheek on the bed, 'olways."
"Why don't you just turn on your side?"
"We have a meerror by our bed so if I turn to that side I see her, if I turn to the other side I see her. If I see her before I sleep, I have nightmares of Beeg Foot, 'olways. I have 3 girls and 5 boys and she is still the hariest in our famely. Especially her hel-la-hel-la-hel-laaa."
Naruto grimmices "But at least you have a family. I grew up without anyone at all."
"Oh boo-hoo-hoo. I would give you my family if I wasn't sure you'd return them in an hour. Why do you think I drive thees truck. I want to get away from my family. My children are 'olways, 'Papa, give us your money,' 'Papa, you're stupid,' 'Papa, you're ugly,' 'Papa, Mama has a pool boy come by and we don't even have a pool.'"
"Well, what about your friends. I didn't have a single friend until I was 12."
"I have one frend in jail because he killed my other frend, I have one frend who 'olways takes my money, for drugs that he does not share, and one frend who takes our all three of my daughters and hel-la-hel-la-hel-laaa."
"Okay, okay. That is pretty bad, but I am shunned by our entire village, and treated like crap, just because I am the container for the Kyuubi."
"Oh, please. I am treated shunned and treated like crap, because I am a tow truck man."
"Why don't you just quit then?"
"My wife, she says 'If you don't keep bringing me your money, I kill you in your sleep,' 'olways."
"Oh, this is me. You know I was kind of sad when I came into your truck. You know I may be the holder of the Kyuubi, but at least I am not a shunned tow truck man, with a horrible wife, nasty kids, and bad friends. I feel a lot better now. Thanks."
"Glad I could help, 'olways.
You don't feel blue You don't feel sad
You don't feel depressed,
Or even slightly mad.
'Cause you had a chat With an even sadder chap
The Depressed Ninja Tow Truck Man