Title: The Pure and Simple Truth, or Why Art Exhibits Are Great
Author: Odakota (GypsyRose)
Written: October, 2005 in response to Nicola's fanfic challenge: " 'Mamihlapinatapei' is a word from Tierra del Fuego and means: 'Two people looking at each other hoping the other will do what both desire but neither is willing to do."
Disclaimer: If I really owned them, would I spend my time trying to fix their screwed-up world?
Extra: I didn't have much time for a beta
A/N: To understand this, you have to think of it being somewhere in season 10, because it's post-Paraguay, but also after they started getting back on track, and there is some artistic license with the names, because in this fic, her name is Sadie, not Dora as we were shown on the show.
And, I'm rather new to writing fanfic, so if you see something I should work on, so please don't hesitate to tell me, just no flames.. please? Yes I know some parts are sappy, I can't write angst, I'm too optimistic for it.
TRUTH: An Art Exhibit by Sadie C.
APRIL 29, 2005
FALLS CHURCH, VA
1947 LOCAL (7:47 PM)
Two figures stood staring at a large canvas on a shadowy back wall at a modern art exhibit. Studying the vivid colors and lines as if to memorize every inch of the piece. While the way they stood close together, murmuring softly every few moments might have the air of something much deeper than friendship, they always passed it off as that. Finally they backed up a few feet, and the picture came into focus for them, for startled gasps were heard from both.
For reasons they couldn't understand, the friendly artist by the door, a short older woman with graying hair and a twinkle in her eyes had taken an interest in them. As soon as she met them, she was getting another lady to greet people and was offering to give them a personal tour. Why, they had wondered, did the woman tell them to look at this one and they'd figure everything out? What did it mean?
To a casual observer, it would appear to be a simple abstract painting, merely colors splashed on a canvas that could remind one of a thousand things, but to one who had a unique view, it held much more. The man and woman standing before the painting had that view, the same as was reflected in the painting. To them it was clear as day, it was two people looking at each other hoping the other will do what both desire but neither is willing to do. Even the simple word painted in red had meaning. Speak.
So many times they could've, and yet they hadn't.
Harm and Mac stood mesmerized, staring at the painting which suddenly seemed to have a life of it's own, seemed to suddenly hold every 'moment' they'd had. And over the 9 years they had known each other, there had been plenty of moments between them, times when the only thing that kept them from each other, and from happiness was three little words that could've changed everything. And yes, over the years they had proved those words by actions at some times, and at others they had pushed their relationship, their connection to it's very limits. For a while, everything had seemed hopeless, and yet as always happened, they found a way back to each other. But this time was different, they'd started over before, but this time there was an edge, a tension between them stronger than ever, that this was the final battle, and that it was theirs, to make what they would of it.
And so they stood in silence, replaying every opportunity they'd had with each other in a few moments and wondering if it was too late. After Jennifer Coates was promoted, they'd all gotten the same fortune cookie at the restaraunt. 'Your heart's desire is the road not taken- take it.' Now they wondered if there was a way to make it work.
Over the years there had been tension between them, thinly veiled as their often flirtacious banter, and yet they'd never had the courage to go for it. Both knew what they wanted, it was painfully obvious in their awareness of each other, of every subtle move and expression, and the glances they each tried to hide from the other. Of course they were obvious to their friends, and really anyone they met. But most had given up trying to nudge them together, if it was meant to be, it was, no matter how much they loved each other, their friends could only push so much.
But the artist, a woman well into her sixties named Sadie knew their problem when they walked through the door, and how to fix it. Though she wasn't exactly a literary major, she remembered "The course of true love never did run smooth" from the books she often read. And she'd seen these two before, in various coffee-shops or at events, and every time she saw the love that ran between them, mingled with desire and yet never realized. And so she promised herself that if she could do something about it she would. After all, Sadie never was one to sit by and let people suffer. And then she'd gotten a special comission for this painting and knew just what to do.
So when they stopped in at her exhibit on the way back from work, she was a little surprised. They were unsettled, as if they'd been in a big argument, and yet they were still courteous, he held the door for her and she didn't pull away when his hand settled on the small of her back, leading her in guarded silence. Sadie suspected they were more connected than they realized.
As she gave them the tour, Sadie learned their names and got to know them a little. JAG lawyers, hmm? Now it was starting to fit together, but she could barely hide her surprised, yet satisfied smirk when they told her that their commanding officer had ordered them to go to an art exhibit and not leave until they were talking again. So this was the pair he often grumbled about! Gordon Cresswell must be picking up some of Admiral Chegwidden's unorthodox methods, she surmised. So when Sadie left them standing by the picture, she wasn't too surprised to see her husband walk through the doors, looking for something or someone. After a brief hug, he moved off to where he wouldn't be seen and Sadie approached Harm and Mac, who were still staring at the painting, even though minutes had gone by.
Clearing her throat to announce her presence, they seemed to snap back to the present at the same time, jolted from their memories which had turned to daydreams of what they wanted. Each other, a life together, a chance for their 4 percent miracle, the whole thing. Before they could go off into la-la land again, Sadie hid her grin and spoke. "Find anything special?"
Their eyes connected for a few seconds, each wearing a guilty half-smile, silently asking if they still had a chance after all that had happened. Their eyes and expressions were the only indication that they were 'talking' and then they turned to look at Sadie.
Harm was first to break the quiet. "This picture Sadie. What is it called, Speak?" He asked, thinking the word scrawled lazily across one corner might be the title.
Sadie's crafty grin left them both wondering what she was up to. "Sadie? I'm not sure I like that look." Said Mac, with just a hint of worry on her face.
"Oh it's nothing bad, though it's perfect for you, "Mamihlapinatapei..-"
Harm gave a patented flyboy grin. "Mami-la-what! Who came up with that?"
Mac punched his arm. "Shut up flyboy, Sadie wasn't done."
Grinning unrepentantly, Sadie continued at Mac's gesture.
"I came up with it of course, "Mamihlapinatapei" is a phrase I learned when I spent a few years down in Tierra del Fuego. It means "Two people looking at each other hoping the other will do what both desire but neither is willing to do."
Harm and Mac were puzzled, for they saw people in the picture, who seemed familiar, yet hard to place. "I don't get it." They said in unison.
Sadie rolled her eyes, but not nearly enough to be seen. She'd been warned that they could be rather dense when it came to matters of the heart. They were either dense, or purposefully playing dumb.
"Okay.. Then you two tell me what you see here."
Mac hesitated a moment, she hadn't planned on that, then started.
"They're good friends but she wants more. She knows at one time he did too, but a lot has happened since then. They're in the middle of a.. argument and now he says something that sounds simple, but has a meaning that only they understand. She's surprised, because he's left the door open for them to talk, despite the fact that they've both hurt each other in the past. She's.. wondering if he means what she hopes he does." She looked like she might say more, but clamped her mouth shut to keep from saying what she wanted to.
Sadie turned to look at Harm, who had been studying Mac intently the whole time she was speaking, a far away look on his face that he put away when he was addressed by Sadie, who wore a bemused expression, though Mac seemed oblivious.
"Oh.. well I think he's been trying to deny his heart for too long, see his face? He's decided to put his heart out on the line instead of making her do it. But he's confused, because he doesn't think she really wants anything to do with him anymore. They've had arguments in the past, but they always find their way back to each other. But after everything that's happened, neither of them have the strength to fight each other much more. He's hoping that she'll take the opening he's leaving her. He... He wants to tell her that he loves her, but he's not sure if he should, even though he knows she's not with anyone. He's too afraid she'll tell him to leave forever. He wants his best friend back, he wants his confidant back, but he wants more, he wants her back in his life and he wants to tell her that she's in his heart, because she always has been."
Harm turned away from them to face the painting once more, having said more than he planned. He knew they would know he was speaking from experience, and yet the fear that was keeping him from meeting Mac's eyes was channeling itself into his longing and desire, forcing him to look at her. Her eyes were a little shiny, an amazed expression on her face, as if she honestly didn't believe something was happening now, after all this.
A battle of emotions raged through her eyes as she looked around the room. Somewhere along the way, Sadie had left again, it was only them now. And finally an epiphany was reached, that many of their 'moments' had been like this, like the picture hanging on the wall. But nothing had ever come of them because they'd never taken the cues Fate had given them. Perhaps that was their problem, they went into things with a battle plan instead of letting their heart decide. Maybe it was Fate that they were together but they'd spent to much time fighting things.
Something finally crystallized, that unless she took a chance like he already had, they'd always be coming back to another moment like this, and their usual dance, retreating, pretending it didn't happen and trying to lick their wounds in private.. without each other while trying not to lose their friendship. That was part of it anyway, they valued their friendship so much that they weren't willing to take a chance. But someone had to. So she took a deep breath and spoke again.
"She's always able to read his eyes, they can talk without words sometimes, and she can see he's trying to sort something really important out. She wants to ask him but she doesn't dare, she's sick of dancing, has been for some time but couldn't realize it and then by the time she did, she'd done something stupid and driven him away. She's hoping he'll take the chance, because she's waiting, she hopes he'll say something to change her opinion, because she's all but given up on dreaming he might love her, just because she doesn't deserve it anymore. She wants to know if she's in his heart, because she loves him more than anything. And she wants to be able to apologize, she just wants him back."
She looked directly at Harm this time, trying to say everything she couldn't say with words with her eyes.
He nodded, just barely, a warm smile finally on his face, but different than any smile of his she'd seen. It was in the clear way he smiled, like he was free for the first time in months. He might as well have said 'We're going to be okay' because she could see it now. And yet another piece of the puzzle that she knew as Harmon Rabb Jr. clicked into place. Sometimes actions did say more than anything and while she was busy waiting for words, he had been trying to show her. Now they were using both and there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel.
Somewhere between the time Sadie had asked what they saw and now, they'd drifted closer until they were standing in front of each other. Face to face it and almost like seeing each other for the first time again.
A familiar ache now pulled them closer, nose to nose and a few moments of silent communication passed between them.
His arms had come around her waist, hers on his neck and they were standing in a loose embrace before their lips met. It was a kiss that started out resembling the one they shared under the mistletoe at Bud and Harriet's a few years ago, sweet and tender, but after a few seconds it resembled the one on the Admiral's porch a few years ago, but lacking it's sadness. This one was just for them. Slowly breaking away after more long seconds, they were finally drawn apart by the need for air. Unwilling to break contact, Harm dropped a soft kiss on her nose as they moved to rest their foreheads together and tried to calm their breathing which was irregular at best.
He finally worked out the rest of his courage and said the words they both needed to hear. "I love you Mac."
The shock on Mac's face melted away quickly. "I love you too Harm."
They pulled into a long hug, something they'd needed for months but had been too chicken to ask for. Harm pulled back just enough to grin at Mac. "We're not talking about the painting anymore are we?"
"Jerk."
"Yes, but now I'm YOUR jerk."
Mac almost replied, but just shook her head and smiled, how can you argue when you get what you've wanted for almost a decade? Just as she was about to speak, a voice interrupted them.
"I trust resolutions have been made and all is right in the world?" Gordon Cresswell was standing with his arm wrapped around Sadie, a smirk on his face that said he saw the whole thing.
Harm and Mac started to break apart to come to attention before he waved them off with a short "At ease." Coming to where they stood together, arms still touching but with apprehensive expressions.
General Cresswell studied them for a few moments before he finally grinned, though Harm and Mac weren't quite sure whether they should stop worrying yet or not. Subconsciously, they both straightened up.
"Didn't I tell you two at ease?... Well you sure don't do things halfway. I trust this 'development' will stay out of the office until I can arrange a move to the judiciary for the Colonel?"
They exchanged relieved smiles before replying. "Yes sir."
"Oh, and I trust you met my wife? Sadie, you've obviously heard of Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie." He added with a smile as Sadie came up next to him. "I can see why Admiral Chegwidden had so much aspirin on hand" he muttered, grinning at Harm's slightly shocked expression.
A wry smirk touched Sadie's face. "Oh I've heard plenty about them, probably more than I wanted to. But I do need to give you two something, wait a moment." Harm and Mac's puzzled expressions didn't phase the General in the least, who refused to tell them what was up.
When Sadie returned, it was with a smaller picture frame which she handed over, revealing a print of the same picture they'd been looking at, and an envelope. "Take a look." She urged, passing them the yellow envelope.
Two quiet, startled gasps were their only response. The picture they pulled out was from a few months ago, shortly after Christmas and Harm and Mac had been in the office when the General had spotted them. They were rather oblivious to his presence, which gave him the opportunity to get a shot of them, before hiding his camera and acting as if he hadn't seen anything. He could tell all they needed was a little push in the right direction.
They started talking at once. "Uh sir-" "We can-" Before Cresswell interrupted them. "I'm not saying a thing. You both needed to see what others have been seeing for years, take a look at this." He handed them a letter official JAG stationary from the time AJ had retired. It gave descriptions of all the staff and added that Rabb and Mackenzie had been going through a hard time but that it was only a matter of time before they realized that they were quote "head over heels for each other" and instructions for Mac to be sent to the judiciary so they could stay at JAG and to let him know when it happened since there was an office pool on them.
"Just when I thought nothing could surprise me." Mumbled Harm as they handed the letter back to the General.
Gordon Cresswell, feeling he had sufficiently shocked them, decided to see how much more he could surprise them by offering them a week off to sort out their relationship with three conditions: They had to go somewhere nice, leave their work at home, and make sure he had advance warning and an invitaiton to the wedding.
It was Mac's turn for a disbelieving stare at Harm, who merely grinned at her while answering the General. "Will do, sir."
As they left the exhibit hall, Harm looked over. "Hey Mac, you like the Jersey Shore?"
After Gordon and Sadie Cresswell locked up the exhibit hall, they came together for a brief kiss.
"I think we did good."
"I'll say, let's go call AJ and Harriet about that office pool, I think it was my week..."
You see the button, review already!