Chapter Three: The Kiss of the End

Fifth year was probably the happiest year of my life. James, Remus, and I became animagi, and I found my match.

She was a really pretty Ravenclaw prefect. Marissa Young made me believe in the opposites attract philosophy. I was a clown, she was well mannered... I got detention... thanks to her. By the way, that's how I met her... my first detention of fifth year, about a week into term...

"Miss Young, please stay with Mr. Black as he serves his detention," said Professor McGonagall, to a prefect that was passing by. The minute I saw her I stopped what I was doing and Professor McGonagall noticed. "Mr. Black would you mind closing your mouth, putting your eyes back in their sockets and keep cleaning the floor?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes ma'am."

I went back to scrubbing the floor and didn't lose my concentration 'til McGonagall had left. But it was not me who broke the silence, but Miss Marissa Young.

Marissa snorted. "That is weird, you in detention."

"Do I know you?" I asked, not looking at her.

"No," she replied. "I'm from the half of the school you haven't dated."

"And what makes you think I've dated half the school?" I looked up at her. "Have you been watching?"

She blushed crimson. I had that effect on girls, making them blush by a simple question. "No," she answered quietly.

"What was that?" I asked, pretending I hadn't heard her.

"Umm," she said. "Maybe?"

I laughed. "Would you mind telling me why girls stalk me, since you seem to be one of the few that doesn't?"

Marissa snorted. "Don't tell you haven't seen yourself in the mirror?" again, she blushed. See? I have that effect on girls.

"Well, I actually go for the ones who never stalk me," I said. "The ones who watch me from a distance when they have the chance." I smirked, she just kept on blushing. I didn't give the poor girl a chance to turn to her normal color.

She looked up at me. "You seem kind of the person to take challenges..."

"I'm a Gryffindor! What d'you expect?" I asked, she laughed. "Well, that's why I said it," she said. Boy I was being mean.

"If you keep blushing I'm going to be able to make breakfast on your face."

"Well, that wouldn't happen if you didn't hit on me," she said, an eyebrow raised.

"Then I guess I'll cook breakfast," I smirked and she smirked back.

"How about another punishment, Black?" she said, still smirking. "Trophy room, with Filch, is that okay?" I felt the color drain from my face, but I immediately recovered.

"How 'bout Astronomy Tower, you and me?" I said, her jaw almost dropped but she recovered before it had. "Doesn't that sound better?"

"For one of your groupies, that's perfect. For me," the dirty blond haired girl said turning around. "It's a little overused."

The girl had comebacks? What does she use? Comeback book for the Idiots? "Overused?" I blurted.

"Yes," she said, turning back around and smirking. "The dungeons sounds a whole lot better..."

"But it's cold–" I cut myself up, realizing for the first time what she meant. "Are you a virgin?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," she said. "But please, do try not to get your hopes up." she sat down on Gryffindor table, and I mean on the table. "Now, could you please hurry up so I can go to bed?"

The girl drove me crazy. Innocent and a little devil... every little boy's fantasy. She didn't go out with me 'til Christmas and I was going mad every time she turned me down.

When I started dating her James got a little jealous "because I would spend all my time with her," but what was I to do? I liked her, hell forget the like, I loved her! If anyone was to tell me to throw my life away or sell my soul to the devil I would've done it right there. I guess life wasn't really for me, there were only a few perfect moments in my life and that day so many years ago, during our sixth year was one of them...

I was sitting under the beech tree at the edge of the lake with my legs crossed Indian-style and my head against the tree. It was my little place where I went to make up my mind or just to have some space to myself. I always sat in the same spot and in the same position. That day, though, it was different. I was sitting there trying to sort out the feelings of my heart. You know like, when you see a girl and say that's the one for me and ironically enough you end marrying her and having a kindergarten of kids running around, of which, you pray all of them are yours. Yep, I felt that way, I was over heels for her. I loved Marissa; there was no denying that fact.

I didn't hear her come; I was too lost in my thought of her to notice anything that went on around me.

"Thinking?" she said as she rested her head in my shoulder.

"Yeah," I said, our conversations were of poor vocabulary.

"About?"

"You."

She laughed. That beautiful laugh of hers that sounded like music to my ears. I know... cheesy, but that's how I felt. I looked around and noticed the sun setting in the distance behind the mountains, I saw birds flying around and the giant squid resting in the water. I knew right there, right now, it was the moment to take my relationship one step further.

"Marissa?" I said, as I looked for something in my right pocket. She raised her head and looked me in the eye to let me know she was listening.

I stood up and brought her up with me. I took both her hands in mine and looked her in the eye before taking a deep breath and getting down on one knee.

"Oh my God," she gasped, covering her mouth with her right hand and holding on to me with the other.

"Will you marry me?"

If it was a surprise for her, you can't imagine how I felt. My breath had caught up in my throat as she looked at me and hesitated before answering. I could feel the world caving in on me as my heart crumbled before she had spoken a word.

"Oh my God! Sirius, are you sure?" she said, looking at me as tears silently rolled down her face.

"If I didn't know you are the one for me my heart would probably tear my soul apart for not opening my eyes at your internal and external beauty," I said, smiling up at her. I suddenly felt like a poet, and an emotional one at that, I was crying too. "I love you."

She pulled me up and hugged me so tightly, I was thankful I hadn't been breathing for the past five minutes because she would have knocked all the air out of me.

"I love you, too, Sirius and yes! YES!" she choked, well yelled more like. "Yes, Sirius Black, I will marry you!" She kissed me like never before, the passion and lust we felt for each other coming out of their hiding place to make the evening an unforgettable one...

I was sixteen and engaged. That really surprised everyone but how could it not? It was something I always heard the giggly girls who were always following me around whisper behind our backs. The problem with these girls was that they would make up stories about me making out with them or even sleeping with them and make sure Marissa always heard them, she didn't care but she was a little jealous to hear them talking like that.

I was to blame because before I met Marissa, the girls would do exactly the same and to prove their points they would flirt with me the next morning and I would flirt back. At the beginning of fifth year everyone believed I had slept with every girl in the whole goddamn school! I never cared, I knew who I was and I knew what I did but Marissa was starting to doubt...

"Sirius?" she asked me one say we were sitting under the beech tree.

"Umm?" I said, kissing the top of her head.

"Were you, you know, well–" she cut herself off and started again. "You know, the day we got engaged?"

"Yeah," I replied, not really knowing were this conversation was going.

"What we did?" I nodded. "Had you done it before?" she asked clearing her throat, letting me know she was feeling uncomfortable having this kind of talk.

"No," I said, simply. I heard her breathe a sigh of relief. I was telling the truth, everything that had been said about my conquests had been and would always be a lie.

About a month after graduation she moved in with me. I felt like the happiest man alive for a while every time I woke up and found her lying next to me. But after a couple of months things started to get out of control and after three years she had had enough. Her jealousy was increasing with each passing moment I spent at the Ministry. Our fights were getting more pointless by the minute and one day she left and I thought I would never get her back...

(A/N: At this point my hopeless romantic self made an appearance... after all the other ones it made that is...)

"Sirius, where were you?" she asked, with her hands on her hips and a glare in place.

"At the Ministry," I said, walking past her and into the bedroom.

"It's one in the morning!" she yelled, coming into the room.

"Are you going to start with this again?" I was loosing every nerve I had left.

"Are you cheating on me, Sirius?" she asked, a little more calmed.

"What?" I yelled, turning around to face her. "Of course not!

She looked at me for a really long time and it was intimidating me. It was as though she was trying to read my thoughts and find something that was not there. I didn't cheat on her; I could've never done that because I lived for her. I couldn't just throw everything we had away for another woman.

"Sirius, I–" she stopped abruptly and looked at me once more. "I think I should move back into my parent's house."

I looked at her with fury written all over my face. I walked up to where she was keeping at least a two foot distance between us. "Why?" I asked quietly.

"'Cause I don't know you anymore! Every time you come home it's like you don't even care I'm here! I'm lucky if you even acknowledge my presence!" she said, as tears formed behind her eyes, but I knew she wouldn't cry.

"Marissa..." I closed my eyes and let the tense silence drown us as I thought for a long moment about the past months of my life.

"I need you to understand that the training is not easy for me," I said, finally opening my eyes. "I need this, Marissa. This is what I've wanted for a long time and I can't give it up now!"

"I know, Sirius, I'm just asking you for a little time. That's all, I need to put my thoughts in order," she took my face in her hands and forced me look at her in the eye. "I love you, Sirius. And right now, I need time."

I let her words sink in before pushing her hands away from my face. I went out of the room and she followed. "I'm going to James'. If you need me I'll be there."

I took my coat and was about to take floo powder when she shouted at me. "Always James! I'm sure you like spending more time with him that with your fiancée!"

"We're not going through this again, Marissa! I already told you once, and don't make me tell you again, James is my best friend and no matter what he'll always be there so you have to live with it if you want to be with me!"

"Fine!" she yelled before going back into the room. I put on my coat and went to James and Lily's house. I camped there for a couple of days before going back to my flat. What I found was not really what I expected. I went in and saw it empty. I checked the drawers, the closet, and the bathroom. Anything for a sign that Marissa hadn't moved out. The only thing I found was a letter.

Dear Sirius,

The past years have been the best years of my life, but I don't think I can't live like this. I don't know who you are anymore. I don't know who I am, and I need to find myself before I can make a decision. The past months have just been too difficult. I love you but I guess love is not enough. This is goodbye, Sirius. Take care of yourself and live freely.

Love,

Marissa

I crumpled the letter in my hand and let the tears that had been threatening to fall, flow freely. I was confused and hurt. The only feeling I could truly identify was hate. I was starting to hate her and even more when something fell on the floor from the envelope the letter had been in. It was the white gold engagement ring I had given her. It had only one diamond in it and it looked beautiful in her hand, but now it looked dreadful sitting on the floor without an owner. I picked it up and looked at it before sticking it in my pocket and leaving once again.

I made it to her parents' house in no time. I hesitated a little to long when I was about to knock 'cause I turned around and left. It would be a week before I even got out of bed. Thinking, always thinking about her...

I got out of the house and drove around on my bike not knowing where I was going. I stopped in front of her parents house and held my breath. Could I do it? Could I just knock and get her back? Will she take me back? Those thoughts had haunted me for the past week but I pushed them away as I knocked softly on the door.

Marissa opened the door and was surprised to see me. The first thing that crossed my mind was to say something but I couldn't myself to so I pulled toward me and kissed as passionately as that time in sixth year. After a few minutes I let her go, both gasping for breath.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" she said. "You look terrible."

"Marissa, take the ring back, please," I begged her. I didn't know what else to say, all I could think of was seeing that ring in her finger once again. "I can't bring myself to live without you."

"Sirius, I–" she looked at me for a long time and once again I could feel the world caving in one me. This time I knew for sure I was going to lose her.

And, I surprised as I was when I asked her to marry me I was even more surprised as she slowly took the ring back. "I need some time apart, but I won't break our engagement." she said smiling slightly. "'Cause I can't bear the thought of living without you, either."

I smiled back at her, that was all I needed to hear. Even if I couldn't see her for the next couple of weeks I was fine, I just couldn't bear the thought of never marrying her.

"I love you, Marissa."

"I love you too, Sirius."

After that I saw her once a week for merely an hour. After all, I had agreed to give her space and was more than willing to comply as long as I didn't have to search for another person to love. October twenty nine, nineteen eighty-one was the last time I saw her. I should've known I was not going to see her again, for she kissed me like never before. The kiss of the end.

I missed everything about her and the dementors took advantage of me constantly thinking about her until she became a blur in my mind. When I escaped Azkaban I hoped to find her somehow but I never went back into her arms and she never found her way back to mine. The last time I got news from her by Remus were not what I expected. That's the day I truly began to hate her. I died feeling both, love and hate for the woman of my life.

Disclaimer: I'm not even British...

A/N: While writing this chapter my cheesy and hopeless romantic self kicked in to ruin the purpose of Marissa's character. Many times I sat in front of the computer trying to make her a real bitch and every time cheesy and hopeless romantic appeared. I was so tired of rewriting this chapter I decided to leave it like this. If you like it review, if you don't please a review with constructive criticism won't hurt. But REVIEW!