Chapter Ten: Fairy Godfather

A/N: So, after two months of suffering from writer's block, mom not letting me go on the internet, stupid finals, and this author trying not to bang her head against the desk in frustration chapter ten is finally here and if you hear a sigh somewhere near you, don't panic, it's me. I've just realized that every time I finish a chapter my grammar goes to hell… lol. Go read before I bore you… lol.

Lily Evans. Lily Potter. Whatever you want to call her, was one of the brightest most beautiful women I'd ever met. Hell, if James hadn't married her I would've had a tough time choosing between her and Marissa. I mean she was just the definition of perfection, meaning, she knew exactly what it took to control a rowdy marauder like James. Even I wasn't as crazy and uncontrollable as he was. I remember every little thing she ever did for me. Every detail, every word of the jokes she made. She was the little sister I never had. I remember how happy she was when she married James. Happy enough to have kids… And ask me to be with her in the delivery room because James… well, let's just say had errands to make… right…

I was sitting at the Potter's kitchen table when I heard Lily and Marissa scream. One would've thought someone was killing them but oh, how I wished that was it.

"What?" I asked coming into the room, and what I saw was what I didn't want to see. Marissa was holding Lily's hand while Lily was doing a type of breathing I had never seen before.

"Who-who- hee… who-who hee…" I stared incredulously at them for five minutes before the sight finally registered.

"Oh. My. God." I felt as though I was going to be sick. I held on to the wall for a moment before I went back into the kitchen screaming my lungs out. "Holy shit! Lily's having a baby!"

I heard a loud thump before. Crap.

"James," I said. "James!" I said kneeling beside him and slapping him. "James you cannot do this to me– I mean, to Lily… Wake up, mate. You're going to be a father. Oh. My. God… JAMES! You're going to be a FATHER!"

I stood up frantically looking for my wand. A splash of water shot out of my wand hitting James squarely in the face. If it weren't because he was breathing I would've thought he was dead.

"Sirius!" I ran as fast as I could back into the room. "We have to take her to the hospital!" I yelled at Marissa.

"No shit, Sherlock," they both replied. Huh? I looked at both of them puzzled before I helped Lily up. "Can you apparate?"

"Sirius, I would trust any life in your hands but mine when you drive," Lily said. "So, even if I couldn't… I would."

Marissa busted out laughing and it was a good three minutes before she composed herself for enough time to help Lily out of the house to apparate.

On our way out Remus arrived and looked at us as though we were crazy. "What's going on?"

"Water… broke," Lily panted, the way down the stairs drowned her energy out.

"Oh… you called the plum–" Oh, yes, he noticed. "Your what?!"

"We have to take her to the hospital" he said trying desperately not to lose his cool.

"Really?" I asked surprise. "I thought we needed to take her to the circus since two clowns made the bun in the oven," I said sarcastically.

"Very funny, Sirius," said Remus. Marissa had busted out laughing again. I was seriously considering breaking up with her for being a completely useless in situations like these.

"Let's go," said Remus.

"No, you stay and take care of the fainted guy in the kitchen," I said shaking my head. "I'll take care of Lily."

"Women always your specialty, huh, Sirius?" he said, chuckling.

"Your boyfriend didn't give you nothing last night?" I said smirking.

"Careful, Padfoot, I bite during the full moon," he said.

"Are you saying you're gay?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"As gay as you," he replied.

"You suck, Remus," I said. "Always finding an opportunity to compare yourself to me," I said as gay as I could. (A/N: They are not gay. They just came out of their teenager years.)

"GUYS!" interrupted Marissa. I looked at Lily and noticed she was doing the who-who-hees again.

"Let's go!" she yelled. Marissa, Lily, and I apparated into St. Mungos with Lily holding my hand very tightly.

"Help! Help!" I yelled. One would've thought I was dying. "She's going to rip my arm off!" I sounded like a girl but I was going to worry about that later. The nurses immediately arrived but found out that Lily's grip was too strong, and she didn't want Marissa for support system either. No, Lily just wanted to make my poor hand suffer.

"Lily, dar-LING," I said wincing as a contraction came and Lily's death grip tightened even more. "Why don't you let me go get James and you can stay here with Marissa?" I said as gently as I could.

"YOU!" she shouted dangerously. Pregnant women are really scary… "ARE. NOT. GOING. ANYWHERE. UNDERSTAND?"

"Ye-ES!" I was in the verge of crying. Lily's contractions and painful squishes of my hand made me realize something. "Marissa, darling?" I said softly. I couldn't really find my voice.

"What?" she asked from the chair next to Lily's bed.

"We're never having kids," again she busted out laughing. "You're completely useless, you know that?"

"I'm just nervous… but I don't think I want to go through what Lily's going through until I'm at least thirty," she said, watching Lily as she squirmed and nearly tore my arm off. "And… you're suffering enough already."

"And you don't like that sight, right?" I said painfully getting the words out. I was very red in the face.

"No, I don't like it," she said seriously and then that malicious glint came to her eye. "I love it!"

"I love you, too, darling," I said sardonically. And then, the moment of truth came… Lily was finally going to give birth… and I, Sirius Black, not the father of the kid… fainted…

Oh, I was going to get blackmailed forever…

"Sirius, are you okay?" Marissa was kneeling beside me and holding my hand. I looked up at her as though she had grown another head.

"You fainted," said Remus trying to suppress his laughter. "You actually fainted."

"Sod-off Remus," I said putting a hand over my eyes. "Where's James."

"Probably getting over the shock of becoming a father," answered Marissa looking behind her to where Lily slept soundly and James who was holding her hand while sitting in the chair next to her bed.

"How long have I been here?" I asked. It seemed to have been a long time…

"About five hours…" Marissa said quietly.

"And you left me on the floor for five hours?!" at this point Marissa busted out laughing again. "Yes."

"Well, you are kind of heavy, Padfoot," said Peter, who had just stepped into the room. "Ever considered going on a diet?"

"Well, look who's talking," I said, groaning as I got up from the floor but it wasn't long before I fell back this time onto the couch.

"I'm exhausted for some reason," I said, that's when I noticed my hand. "Damn! Lily has a strong grip… Again, Marissa you're not getting pregnant unless I'm not the father."

"Even if you weren't the father you'd be in the delivery room," she said.

"And why is that?" I asked.

"Are you saying you're the father of Lily's baby?" she replied raising an eyebrow.

"No," I said. "Oh… but she didn't have anyone to be with her."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm serious," I said looking at her but she was staring off into space.

"I know you are," she said, putting her head on my shoulder. "And, by the way the child's name is Harry."

"It's a boy?" I asked excitedly. Marissa laughed before replying. "Yeah."

I jumped up from the couch almost knocking into Remus who was still standing there. "Woo-hoo! It is a boy!"

Marissa, Peter, and Remus busted out laughing, again, they were really going back to their teenage years.

I sat back down putting my arm around Marissa, "Nice… we have a little nephew to spoil, guys."

"Yes, we do," said Peter smiling brightly. It was then I noticed Lily had opened her eyes.

"How did it go, Lily?" I asked her.

She scowled. "You remember that quote saying: "giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head?"

"Yeah…"

"That would be pleasurable…" I laughed.

"Siripoo fainted!" I heard James taunting after he got out of his trance.

"Shut up, Potter, at least I made it into the hospital and seconds before she gave birth," I replied. I put my head on Marissa's shoulder and proceeded to fall asleep. Apparently the five hours I spent passed out on the floor weren't enough…

So, I was named godfather to a kid I had to practically take care of every single weekend. And, every single weekend Lily would make me wake up at the crack of dawn… and every weekend I had to listen to her read head temper yelling at me about how unorganized I was… Lily was the mother I never had…

"SIRIUS BLACK!" I heard Lily yelling. I had a terrible hang-over but apparently she didn't know that.

"What?" I muttered getting out of bed.

"SIRIUS!" Okay, she was very pissed off.

I heard Lily's angry footsteps echoing through the halls and I felt like my head was going to burst.

"And it's such a mystery Marissa moved in and back out," she said entering the room. I opened one eye, raised an eyebrow, and fell back on the covers.

"Lily, what time is it?" I asked. "And she didn't move out… she's at her parents for the weekend."

"Time for you to get out of bed and learn to pick up after yourself. You're a pig!" I think I forgot to mention she was a clean freak….

"Gee, thanks…. I didn't know you loved me so much," I replied.

"Darling, you have not seen the end of this," with that she went back downstairs.

"I have a feeling I am not going to recover from the hang over today," I said to myself before tiredly getting out of bed.

I could hear Lily muttering to herself as I made my way to the kitchen.

"Pots in the refrigerator… cleaning utensils in the microwave… clothes in the DISHWASHER?!?!?!" she nearly screamed. I watched her as she scratched her head in disbelief.

"Sirius, there is no doubt in my mind you're not a muggle," she said. "You have absolutely no clue were all these things go."

"I know where they go," I replied defensively. "I just never find the time to put them in their place."

She opened the refrigerator once more, "I thought the clothes in the dishwasher had been the worst… I had never seen things moving in a refrigerator before…. Are you sure Marissa had been gone for the weekend only?"

"Yes, Lily…" I said rolling my eyes. "Now, I'm going to go to bed and you can do whatever you want."

"Ha!" she said. "Not so fast, doggy, you are going to clean this up under my surveillance and I am not leaving until you're finished."

"Am I supposed to take orders from you," I said challengingly.

"Yes," she said.

"Okay," I said remembering never to mess with an angry red head. "But… why am I supposed to do this again?"

"Because you're not babysitting my son in this dump," she said.

"Oh, right," I said. "I'm supposed to baby-sit… there's something alive in my refrigerator?" I asked remembering her list of things to do.

"Sirius!" she said dangerously.

"Alright. Alright," I said walking out of the kitchen.

"Sirius, where are you?" Lily yelled as I entered the kitchen putting on a shirt.

"Got to look presentable, woman, geez," I grumbled as I opened the refrigerator.

"You never do," she replied.

"Thanks."

Three hours and forty four minutes later I was done and watching over my godson… An easy task for me thank god.

"So, Harry, what do you want to do?" I asked, Harry just stared. "not much of a talker, huh?"

He kept staring.

"Want to practice saying "Uncle Padfoot?" He kept staring.

"Okay…," I picked him up and he started clapping his hands and laughing. "So, you like being picked up huh? How about I do this?" I started throwing him up and catching him, and he laughed all the time.

"Let's practice being a baby airplane, shall we?" I started making the sound airplanes make and cursing them for not creating something that was at least silent. All this time I never once noticed Marissa standing in the doorway.

"You'll make a great father, Sirius," she said startling me. "You really will."

I smiled at her. "Nah… I'll probably be all paranoid and stuff… and I'll probably be laughing my ass off when accompanying you to the delivery room…"

Marissa smacked me on the arm but laughed anyway. "How are you doing, Harry?" she asked sweetly. "Is mean little Padfoot scaring you? Yes? Well, he scares me too."

I pouted and she laughed. "You big baby… did you give him anything to eat yet?"

"No…" I said. "Was I supposed to?" Marissa rolled her eyes. "Kidding…"

"Uh-huh," she said taking little Harry into the kitchen. "Let's go Harry… let's go give you some food before you starve to death."

That moment right there was enough for me to set even a wedding date. I hate how life is never fair, I said it before and I'd never get tired of saying it. I wanted to get married and be a father. But I guess life did give me something good… I was there for Harry for three years.

Anyway, I loved making Harry laugh, it was kind of like my hobby. I spent as much time as I could in the Potter's house just to be with my little godson…

Harry was currently pulling hairs out of my fur and laughing as he watched them fall to the floor. That's going to piss Lily off…My thoughts were interrupted by James coming into his living room.

"You're so nice as a dog, Sirius," he said picking Harry up. "Have you ever considered making the change permanently?" (A/N: yes, I stole that from the movie… can you blame me?)

"Very funny, Prongs," I said once I transformed back to human.

"Hi, honey," James was saying when I entered the kitchen. Married people…

"You know what, Lily?" I said sitting down at the table. "James is like your own little treasure."

"Why, thank you, Sirius," said James. "And here I thought you were going to insult me." But Lily saw right through my little compliment and a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes.

"And?" she said, her eyes twinkling.

"Well, I was thinking that since he is a treasure we should go to a deserted island and bury him," I finished smirking. "What do you think about that, Harry?"

Harry laughed happily as Lily tried to muffle her own laughter, James just scowled… well, a pathetic excuse of scowling, more like.

"It was just a joke, Prongs," I said trying to keep a straight face, but I couldn't keep it as I dramatically dodged the flying objects coming from James' direction as Harry laughed even more. No, Lily was not laughing anymore, she was trying to keep herself from yelling at James for the mess he was making.

That was two weeks before their death… the last time I ever truly laughed. I just hoped that had been the last time I had seen them but October 31st, 1981 stayed in my mind forever…

A/N: If you laughed during this chapter make sure you reread it after every other chapter if you want to laugh because from next chapter on it is going to be very sad.

This chapter is my Christmas present to all of you for giving me such nice reviews, I hope you enjoyed it and laughed as much as I did while I wrote. If you didn't laugh don't say so on your review because I'm going to feel very dumb... lol. Anyway, sorry it is a day late but I finished it yesterday minutes before my computer crashed. (My sister called this morning and fixed it thank god!)

Chapter Eleven: To This Date Untitled (this is not the title… lol) is about October 31. And I really have nothing else to say today… wow… I must be very low on caffeine today… lol anyway I will have this chapter before December 31st, a new year's present from this author. Bye!