Chapter Twelve: Normal
A/N: Okay, so it's been almost seven months since I last updated and I deserve to be cursed for it.
Anyway, this chapter is not in Sirius' point of view but from the various different persons who saw him during the twelve years he was in Azkaban. His point of view of the situations will be next chapter
Enjoy! (A longer author's note is at the end, please take the time and patience to read it)
There were tears in his eyes. They had been there for quite a while now. What was it about them, huh? What was it about tears that when you really wanted to feel them fall, they remained blurring your vision. He didn't know, but Sirius Black is not a man who ever has tears in his eyes.
"Care to explain?" I said, not completely sure he would answer me.
There were a good fifteen seconds in which he just sat there at the other side of the bars, looking as though he had not heard a thing. But he looked at me, and he showed pure loathing in his eyes. He hated me, that I was sure of. He didn't have a 'valid' reason to hate me. He hated me because he feels I'm responsible for his mistake. And tomorrow he was going to Azkaban for it.
"Get out of here, Remus," he said searching my eyes for a reaction.
"Fine," I said shrugging. "Just fine…" I turned around and he spoke again.
"I didn't do it, Moony," he said, looking at me with piercing eyes. "You know I loved them… I would've never…"
I smiled sadly. I didn't see a trace of fakeness or maliciousness. I saw sincerity… truth. But, I couldn't and wouldn't believe it. He knew it would happen.
"You were hoping I would believe you, weren't you, Sirius," I said knowingly. He almost smiled.
"Just go, Remus," he said, looking up at me with hatred in his, tears gone. "I'm not going to change your mind about how you feel about me without proof… so, just get out of here."
I looked at him surprised. This brought back memories of that night in sixth year when we told him he had to prove himself worthy of being a marauder. I frowned at the memory—
"Out, Remus, goddamnit!" he yelled before I had time to speak. I looked up at him once more, nodded and left without looking back.
"…I tried, Sirius," a soft voice was saying. "But Barty won't see it as I do. I'm afraid he won't give you a trial."
"Yeah, I supposed you tried really hard, didn't you, Dumbledore?" said Sirius sarcastically. "Did in your little conversation you happened to mention that time I tried to kill Snape? 'Cause if you didn't you should go now, you know, give him a little more background information so that no one else will stand a fucking chance at trying to get me a trial!"
"Sirius, you must calm down—"
"Go calm down someone else!" said Sirius. "You of all people should know I didn't tell Voldemort where Lily and James were hiding. You of all fucking people should know I loved them and would've done anything for them—"
"Sirius—" Dumbledore tried again but Sirius cut him off.
"— I thought you were supposed to give people second chances but in the most important moment of my life. When I need a chance to explain what happened however non-believable it may be you run out of chances!"
"Sirius," said Dumbledore in a way that he finally shut up and let the old bastard speak (A/N: now aren't you all just dying to know who's narrating? All I know is that she is in the cell across from Sirius.) "I need you to tell me exactly what happened or I am afraid I won't be able to help you."
Sirius tried to speak but he only made an odd sound and started pacing around his cell. He looked up at Dumbledore again as if to say something but only shook his head and continued to pace.
"I can't," he said finally.
"Well," said Dumbledore, looking sadly up at Sirius. "I'm afraid I can't help you."
That made Sirius snap. He looked up at the older man with the utmost hatred. They stared at each other for what seemed like a lifetime before Sirius nodded, took a seat on the stone floor and glared at the floor.
"Just go back to that stupid school of yours," he said, clenching his teeth. "I knew you wouldn't understand…."
"What wasn't I go to understand, Sirius?" Dumbledore asked politely.
"Nothing," said Sirius shrugging. "You don't understand anything. All you do is spend your life trying to put sense into things that don't make any! So just leave me to rot in peace and quiet."
Neither of them spoke for at least five minutes. Sirius knew Dumbledore was trying to read the expression on his face, but it was blank. Sirius Black was not feeling anything anymore.
"Goodbye, Sirius," said Dumbledore. The old man left and I snorted.
"Why, Sirius, you do have a thing for speaking truth from time to time," I said slightly amused.
"And you have a tendency to forget I hate you, Bella," he said through clenched teeth, which only made a giggle escape. A miserable giggle, because soon enough the Dementors were approaching our cells.
"Yep," I answered. "I do forget, Sirius, but bear in mind that the moment we both get out of here and face each other again, the only thing I'm going to forget is that we're related."
"I can hardly wait," he muttered. "I wonder when our minds will be sane enough for that to happen."
If I hadn't felt so cold and miserable I would've probably laughed. "I don't need a sane mind for that, Sirius…. Besides, we've never had a sane mind, we're Black's remember?"
"I try not to," was his reply. The last thing he said to me, as the Dementors finally arrived and were not feeling particularly happy about a normal situation in an abnormal place.
It was my first inspection ever to Azkaban. The farther along the castle I walked the more I felt depressed. It wasn't so much the effect the Dementors had on me but the state in which these people were in. They probably deserved it but none of them looked human. None of them look sane… except for one person in particular and the most heavily guarded prisoner in the whole castle… Sirius Black.
I knew everything about him, of course, but he seemed normal. It was as though he got himself inside by mistake and was currently plotting a way to get himself out. He was always deep in thought, occasionally muttering something to himself.
I was so amazed I even stopped dead in my tracks when he greeted me. I mean, Sirius Black, the murderer of thirteen muggles, the one who caused the deaths of his best friends, said hello in the most bored voice I'd ever heard. He was talking to me, Amelia Bones, and I was taken very aback.
"Well, hello," I said, trying to compose myself. He smiled at me and went back to staring at the wall. I shook my head before continuing ahead. But never in the rest of the walk around the place, could I take my mind off of him. I had to give him a little credit because if he hadn't blabbed Voldemort would still be around but he caused the death of thirteen muggles.
It was so overwhelming to walk back along the corridor he was in. I saw that his cell was probably the most heavily guarded but still he was looking bored when I passed him again, and it disturbed me. If I hadn't known any better I would've thought I saw hatred and a trace of viciousness in his eyes. He wasn't haunted. He was yelling himself hoarse. He wasn't shivering or shaking at the cold. He was normal.
In my years as Minister of Magic, I'd never been in the case where I had to be the one to inspect Azkaban prison twice in less than two weeks, but given the circumstances that no one else seem up for that horrible trip up north, I had to.
My mind was running wild I mean, I am Minister of Magic, I shouldn't be making this trips to visit people who deserve to be locked up and away from the contacts of sane human beings. Nevertheless, it was my duty and I had to attend to it to keep up my image as an excellent Minister of Magic.
I had the Daily Prophet with me during the trip to keep from fidgeting. Everyone who's been in this situation knows that this is normal. But, still I found I couldn't read and I kept squishing my bowler hat so that when I finally let go of it to get into the prison it was wrinkled enough to pass for a lime green raisin. I would've laughed at that if the sudden coldness hadn't knocked the air out of me.
Of all the things I expected from a place such as Azkaban, seeing a mass murderer looking bored and relaxed wasn't one of them. I mean, this was Sirius Black! He killed thirteen people! He ought to have lost his mind by now, I mean, I would've, and I haven't done a tenth of the things he's done and I never will.
"Hey, Minister," he said.
I gaped at him for a full minute and was sure he could see the fear in my eyes for he smiled. A smile in Azkaban. This guy's conscience was rotten.
"Well — er — hello," I said uncomfortably.
"Are you finis with that paper, Minister?" he said, sounding horribly bored. "I haven't really seen one in years and I miss doing the crossword."
"Sur —" I cleared my throat. "Yes, sure…sure… here you go," I said passing the paper through his cell bars. It was quite unnerving to see him act and talk so normal.
"Thanks, Minister," he said and I gave an involuntary shudder. It was then I noticed he was calling me Minister and coming out of his mouth it didn't sound right.
"Have a good day, Black," I said, pulling myself together and walking away. When I got to the end of the corridor I heard a snort of disgust followed by bitter laughter and I knew it was coming from his cell.
A/N: Okay first off, thank you so much to angelfan2000 for snapping me out of my non-writing mood!
Now, I know I've not update in such a long time and you don't want excuses but I feel like I owe you an explanation.
This chapter is the hardest I've ever had to write. I had eleven different versions and none of them seemed to work. So I tried and tried until I came up with the idea of getting into the memory of those who saw him during his twelve years in Azkaban.
I came up with another version I really like and I will be posting it the second I can get my hands on a computer (mine isn't working). So anyway, the other version is Sirius' point of view of this, it's going to be longer and it's going to be slightly different.
I'll try to post it by the end of the week. Please forgive me for the lateness and hope you enjoyed it!
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