Final Step.

part six of six in the STEP SERIES

sequel to the Barrier series

author: Elise

rated G

summary: Home.

comments deeply appreciated.

vi.

Three weeks had past, and Alan should have known not to keep his hopes up. Charlie had shown some improvement, but not much. After a week of apologizing, Charlie had now resorted to mournful and regretful looks. Everyone had forgiven him for his disguised suicide. Everyone was equally proud of him for attempting to stop the illegal surgery. It was the silence that surrounded Charlie that disturbed Alan. Not only did most people not know what to say, Charlie himself remained quiet most of the time.

Amita had taken his courses for the Fall semester in lue of his medical leave. She was a blessing in the household because Charlie had refused to resign as her thesis advisor and would look forward to her visits every day. Whereas they discussed business only, it was still a welcomed change to the regimen of silence Charlie surrounded himself in. His steps were lighter and his eyes would gleam a bit more whenever he saw her progress with the degree. He obviously felt pride in her work, if not more, Alan was sure of that.

Alan lifted the ice tea tray, balancing it towards the backyard. Charlie had taken to spending part of his day out there, on a lawn chair, enjoying the backyard and the warm air. His hair was slowly growing back, but it was still a shock - and a harsh reminder - to see it. When Alan had first seen Charlie home, he marvelled at his son's bald head. They had kept him in the psych ward for three days before allowing him to move to the Eppes Household. Charlie was on some very serious medications, and most likely would for the rest of his life. That was a blessing itself. Perhaps there was a chance for Charlie to get better and healthy. Putting on an encouraging smile, Alan walked to his son, placing the tray down. "Beautiful day, isn't it, Charlie? Ice tea?"

Charlie looked over, his expression sadder than usual. He took the ice tea and sipped it, before placing it down. He opened his mouth to speak then shut it. Alan's heart broke as he saw his youngest struggle with the words. Alan cleared his own throat, "It's alright, Charlie. You don't have to talk now, if you don't want to."

Charlie bit his lip and said quietly, his voice shaky, "Dad... I want to get better. I'm so tired of feeling terrible."

Alan blinked back some tears. Not only was that the most Charlie had spoken his entire time home, it was a breakthrough in terms of Charlie admitting his true feelings. Alan cleared his throat again, choosing his words carefully, "You can, Charlie. It'll take time, but we're all here for you."

"Seeing the laughing gas mask wasn't the last thing I saw before they tried to give me the procedure dad... I saw you and Don at dinner, laughing. I remembered the good times. I remembered how proud I was of Don when he got accepted into the FBI. I remember all the late night coffees with Amita and Larry... The consulting gigs... my classes and wonderful students."

"Sounds like you like a lot of things here. You sound like you have a lot of good memories." Alan pointed out.

"I want more memories, Dad. I thought I was so alone." Charlie sniffed, trying to hold back his own tears.

Alan stood up and knelt by his son, placing his hands on his shoulders, letting Charlie know that it was okay to share with him. Charlie turned into his father's shoulder and rested there. "I was wrong, Dad. I'm not alone. Amita and Larry... they understand the academic side, sure, but you all know me. You know how I react. You know what makes me happy."

"That's right. It's because we love you." Alan said, letting his own tears slip through, thanking the heavens for Charlie.

"You know that I like my ice tea with mint leaves... its simple, but it's one of those small quirks that reminds me that you know me. You know that I love working with Amita, and doing math, despite how much I resent it. That's why I can still work as her advisor."

Alan smiled, "I've known you for thirty years, Charlie. All of your quirks. They're worth something."

Charlie nodded, "I'm going to make some changes. I... I want to continue with the psychiatrist. Use the medications they gave me. I also want to start running... maybe a marathon."

Alan grinned, "Those sound like great ideas."

"I mean, I've an entire semester off. Maybe I can volunteer with you? Or see Don on his lunch breaks... go to museums... or take Amita to dinner." Charlie's voice, still small, was growing in enthusiasm.

Alan laughed in joy, "Of course, all of those things, and more. You're going to be alright, Charlie. I promise you. Now I need you to make a promise to me."

Charlie turned to his father, looking up confused, "What?"

"I need you, whenever you panic, whenever you want to end things, to find me. Immediately. If I'm not here, whatever the circumstances, you need to find Don." Alan looked at his son Charlie directly in the eyes.

Charlie's bottom lip quivered and he nodded, "Yes. I promise."

The two men embraced and realized that obstacles should always be viewed as stepping stones instead of barriers.

the end.

thank you to everyone who responded. These have been so much fun to write! I adore you all! I am, in essence, a fan of you.