12 Memories

Chapter 9 - Quicksand

Author's Note - Wow, you guys blew me away with reviews on the last chapter, thank you so much! Okay, so I'm thinking of rounding this story off at 15 chapters, this wasn't meant to be long, mostly just about them getting past their issues and getting together. So here we go:

They arrived back at Haley's house within two minutes of each other, startling themselves at the steps. The brunette took a breath and took in her friend's appearance, it was becoming clear that something had gone terribly wrong and that Peyton was a lot worse off than she was. No questions asked, Haley opened the door, letting them both into the small house. Peyton flopped backwards onto the couch, remaining in the dark and making no move to find a light. Seconds later she felt Haley repeating her actions as the cushions fell farther into the couch under her friend's weight. The brunette sighed, pulling a pillow into her arms, holding it tightly to her chest – Peyton just sat, she didn't know what to do with herself.

– ' Take me away, take me away. You said that you were gonna stay, but you're always lying anyway' –

In his anger, he walked back to the court, wandering around to find the ball he had thrown into the air only an hour before. He understood her fear of loss and her emotional issues, but he couldn't comprehend why she couldn't trust him, of all people. He was the only person who had never left her side, the only person who loved her unconditionally, and she meant the world to him – she knew that. Yet there he was, alone on a basketball court at five in the morning while Jake was getting ready to meet his best friend for coffee, and that was fair how? What had he done wrong?

Nathan walked silently, unwilling to face rejection. He left his car parked – he needed to walk, needed to clear his head. In honesty, the more he thought, the more of him thought the whole situation was ridiculous – Haley obviously didn't want him. And the strange thing was that no matter how angry he was, he couldn't blame her for her decision. He would whole-heartedly admit that he had been a Class A Jerk that day in Brooke's house, not even willing to try to be with her. But he had never been walked out on like that, he was Nathan Scott, girls would pay for him to have said those things. But he didn't want those girls, he wanted Haley James, and for the first time he really took a chance, put himself out on a limb, involved his heart in the matter and now it hurt like hell. And now he felt really bad for what he did to her that day, because now he knew the pain.

He continued his journey, but he stood still when he heard a constant thumping. Moments later he was making his way to the River Court, knowing only one person that would be playing basketball at 5 AM besides himself.

"Nathan," Lucas said coldly, not that his brother had done anything wrong, but for now he took it upon himself to be mad at the world.

He didn't offer a greeting for his older brother, instead he raised his head slightly in acknowledgment, and Lucas knew that his brother's night had been just as bad as his own. Why do girls make everything so difficult? he asked himself, wondering what Haley did that his little brother looked like he just watched his beloved puppy get run over.

He pondered over asking his brother what the events of his suckfest of a night were, but thought better when Nathan started looking up at the stars. That was unusual, especially for Nathan, and Lucas considered that them having nothing better to do at 5 in the morning than wallow in their own misery was fairly pathetic. But if they were gonna do that they might as well do it over basketball.

He threw the orange ball between his calloused hands a few times before throwing it across the court to Nathan. The younger Scott's basketball instincts kicked in as he caught the ball with expertise.

Lucas raised his eyebrows towards the brunette, as if asking for a game and with no words Nathan dribbled the ball around a few times. In an attempt to warm up he ran up and down the court a few times, putting the ball between his legs for good measure. Finally when things in his aching heart started to settle he ran forward toward the blonde boy, faking his move and going right for a lay up. In his success he raised his hands, Lucas smirked, taking the ball and driving past his little brother. And for a little while things made sense.

– 'You're gonna suffer if you don't start breathing now. Now that I need you, you're going away' –

An old movie played through the TV that sat in Haley's living room. Neither had tried to find anything on TV at that time, the television was only on to distract them, the noise was more help than the pounding silence. The blonde sat in the dark still, fidgeting constantly with her long fingers in a poor attempt to keep her mind off her meeting with Jake and the way she ended things with Lucas.

"I don't wanna go," she muttered from her spot, so quiet that Haley barely heard her.

"Where?"

"I agreed to meet Jake at the café for coffee, but I don't wanna go...I know exactly what it's gonna be like. We're gonna sit in an awkward silence for the first five minutes and then he'll let out a breath and start on this mind numbing speech about how sorry he is and how he should've been better to me. Then he'll ramble on about how he wants us to be friends, but somewhere in that speech I'll tune him out and he'll cross the line and get into how he wants me back and he'll do anything to get a second chance with me, that Brooke meant nothing. And the thing is, I'll take him back because I felt safe with him, I was comfortable with him. Maybe I wasn't happy or in love but I was secure," she finished with a deep breath as Haley plopped back down on the couch next to her.

Haley wandered off in her thoughts, absorbing everything Peyton had just described about Jake. Truthfully, she had never been extremely close to Jake, but she knew the type of guy he was and that he was a great friend, always willing to listen. But she could never recall a time when he was extremely trust worthy – reliable, yes – trust worthy, not so much.

"Then don't go," she told the blonde logically.

"Huh?" Peyton questioned as though it was the most outlandish action in the world, to not show to a meeting she had agreed to be present at.

"Just don't go. If you don't trust yourself to be strong with him, then don't go -"

"I have to," she interrupted. "I have to go. I told him I'd be there, I hurt him telling Jake I'd be there."

"Hurt who?" the whole conversation was starting to confuse Haley.

"Lucas. He kept insisting there was something between us tonight and he was about to kiss me, but the phone rang and I told Jake I'd be there. I saw the hurt in his eyes, I can't just not go now, it's the principle of the thing," she explained, as though it were painfully obvious.

Haley was shocked by Peyton's sudden confession of the night's events, though she had a feeling more had happened she told herself not to push and concentrate on the matter at hand. She had to pay attention to Peyton's current dilemma to keep her mind off of her own.

"Well, I'm not letting you go," Haley put her foot down, already set in her ways Peyton stared at her wide eyed.

"What do you mean you're not letting me go?"

"I mean, I'm holding you here against your will. Peyton, I can't let you go, what kind of friend would I be if I let you go? Think about it, Jake cheated on you with one of your closest friends who was dating your best friend, and I'll be damned if I let you get back with him only to get hurt again. You're better than that, you're stronger than that," she seemed proud of her speech as she finished, smiling happily at the blonde across from her.

Surprising herself, Peyton found her body moving towards the brunette, engulfing her in a bear hug. Haley also seemed shocked as she tensed, but relaxed slowly, letting herself welcome the gesture from her usually distant and unaffectionate friend.

"And that was for?" she questioned the blonde.

"For being a friend, I needed that. And it's settled, I'm not going," Peyton asserted her free will, not bothering to call Jake she stood, retrieved a blanket and situated herself on her friend's couch, motioning for Haley to do the same.

– 'Every day, standing in the quicksand, follow me down the drain. But it doesn't matter anyway, you're gonna get yours any day' –

It had been a long hour of strenuous basketball, a game which they both took in the utmost seriousness, taking both of their minds off of the night's events. Though neither of the Scott's had ever felt the need to talk out their problems, Lucas pushed tonight, letting out everything between him and his best friend.

"I just wish, I wish she would let me in. I've always been there for her, always and Jake was the one who hurt her. Why is she considering meeting him? This should be a no brainer, this is as easy as it gets, ya know?" Lucas rambled on while Nathan listened silently.

"Maybe she just needs time," he inserted an opinion, leaving Lucas in his thoughts again.

"Time for what? She's had quite a few days to figure out her feelings, and she was the one who brought up the fact that we could be more at the beach, I'd never even considered it before and now I can't stop thinking about her..."

"Wait, wait, wait. You've never looked at her like that? Ever? If you say you've never wondered or been remotely curious you're either gay or a liar," Lucas laughed at his brother's shock, thinking back to when he'd been twelve, when his hormones were just beginning to kick in, when girls didn't have cooties anymore.

"So yea, I was talking to Greg today and he told me he saw Joe Parker kiss Stefanie McMiller out on the jungle gym. Do you believe that? They were kissing," Lucas's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he rattled off the information he'd heard from his friend at lunch.

Peyton shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, brushing the gossip off as though she'd heard it many times before. Lucas nudged her in the arm, urging her to give him a reaction.

"What? Stop poking me, Luke," she pushed him away slightly.

"Well, what do you think? I mean that's crazy, Joe and Stef, kissing."

"Why is that crazy? We're twelve years old, we're gonna be thirteen at the end of the year, it's not really that crazy. Plus Stef has liked Joe since the beginning of last year, it's just now Joe thinks she's not infected with cooties like he did before," Peyton explained, Lucas tilted his head to the side, looking at his best friend in a whole new light.

"Well...have you...no, never mind..." he stuttered, eventually giving up on his question and turning to watch the other kids run past them. Peyton looked over, waiting for him to continue.

"Have I ever what? You can't just stop there."

"Well, have you ever kissed anyone?" he waited patiently for her answer, hoping that if she did she would've informed him of this monumental occasion in her life.

"Nah, not yet. Besides, if I did don't you think I would've told you. You're my best friend, Luke," she looked at him like this was known to the world, that he missed the memo. "You haven't either have you?" she questioned him suspiciously, making sure the friendship was totally mutual.

"No! Of course not. You're gonna tell me when you do, right?"

"Yea, sure. I dunno when that's gonna be though, no guys wanna kiss me," she rolled her eyes at the immature boys running around them.

"Nuh uh, that's not true. I'd kiss you, but you're my best friend so I can't do that, it's like...wrong," he summarized, and she nodded, agreeing with his conclusion. Though at the time he had secretly wanted to kiss her, wanting to be the couple that people were talking about like Joe and Stef, but he kept it to himself, because she was his best friend.

"Okay, well I did when were like twelve and everyone was getting their first kisses, I felt left out so I thought maybe she'd be my first kiss. But that passed because she was my best friend and we decided it was wrong to kiss our best friends. So, I just never really thought about it again, it was like forbidden ground for us," he explained to his little brother.

"So, who was your first kiss?" Nathan questioned, a question that had plagued him for some time.

"My first kiss...my first kiss was Theresa back when she wasn't a ditzy, cheerleader who followed Brooke around like a puppy dog," Lucas concluded, defending his twelve year old self.

"What! Theresa!" Nathan laughed uncharacteristically loudly, his head falling forward as he tried to breathe through his laughs.

"Yea, man. It was a great night for me, don't wreck it."

It was around nine o'clock that night and he was still at the River Court shooting around before he was due home at nine thirty. He hadn't heard the lone figure come up behind him.

"Hey, Lucas," she called out from her spot on the grass.

"Theresa? What are you doing here?" he questioned going to meet her.

It had taken a few minutes before she began to cry, and he sat with her for the next fifteen minutes, patting her back as she told him about her parents divorce. She talked, and he listened intently, though they had never been close he didn't dare push her away.

"Thanks for listening to all of that, Lucas. I don't really have anybody who would've sat with me like that. You're a good guy, I see why Peyton's such good friends with you," he smirked at her compliments, meeting her gaze.

She made the first move, leaning into him, meeting his lips with her own, an awkward moment at first progressed very slowly. Time stood still for him, and when she pulled away shyly, he blushed slightly. She smiled sweetly, running off into the night, leaving him in the dark. Five minutes later he took off at a run to a curly blonde's house to inform her of his night.

"Well, what about you, Nathan? Who was your first kiss?"

"You really wanna know?" Nathan smirked, recalling the memory vividly. He knew that he topped Lucas's by a long shot. He watched his older brother nod before revealing his information.

"My first kiss...was Brooke Davis, beat that," Nathan watched his brother's shocked expression before falling into his own memories.

"Hey, Nathan. Nice muscles," a thirteen year old Brooke flirted with the dark haired boy. He smirked his trademark smirk, flexing slightly as Whitey yelled from the sidelines.

"Scott, get your head in the game and eyes off the cheerleaders!"

An hour later as practice ended he wandered out of the gym and started his walk home, adjusting his large duffel bag. It was only seconds later that he heard his own name being called.

"Nate! Mind if I walk with you?" a brunette questioned him, he nodded, making small talk along the way.

"So, kissed any girls lately?"

He looked down to his shoes, almost embarrassed with his lack of experience. Brooke giggled at his innocence, as she had already kissed three boys since she was twelve.

"So, poor Nathan is being deprived of us girls," she winked at him, as he still felt inadequate next to Brooke Davis.

"Can we not talk about it?"

"I'll kiss you, Nathan, if you want..." she trailed off, awaiting his reaction.

"Really!...Oh, I mean, yea sure...if you feel like it," he played off his eagerness, and she still smiled at him, he was bad at trying to act cool.

"Sure, you ready?" he nodded, eagerly as they stopped their walk. He decided he needed to make the move, meeting her in the middle he kissed her, and she being more experienced, deepened the kiss slightly, leaving him on cloud nine as she walked away. He let out a breath, headed back to his house.

"Wow, you scored Brooke Davis on your first time out. Nice job, little brother," Lucas high fived the boy next to him as they laughed at their younger selves.

– 'And why you put the blame on me, if you could only see yourself as others see. Now that I need you, you're going insane' –

The credits rolled with an annoying song that played in the background, leaving the girls to laugh at the horrible voice that had begun to sing. They both sat, searching for a new movie at 6 AM, the time she had agreed to meet Jake. And it was then that she began to feel bad that he would be sitting there by himself waiting, but she knew Haley was right in not letting her go. And she thanked the girl next to her every day for being strong when she couldn't be.

"So, you hungry?" Haley let the question float in the air, awaiting her friend's answer which came shortly after.

"Hell yea, I feel like I haven't eaten in years," Peyton cheered the suggestion receiving a laugh from the girl who stood and wandered off into the kitchen.

"Well, we don't have much, but I'm going to assume that you don't wanna go out because Jake is currently at the café and Lucas is god knows where, but I can safely say he didn't go home to bed after whatever happened between you two. And I sure as hell don't wanna run into Nathan, so -"

"So, that therefore means peanut butter and jelly!"

"You read my mind, Sawyer," Haley teased the blonde, as they laughed retrieving the needed materials.

– 'Every day sinking in the quicksand, follow me down the drain. Every day drinking in the same bar, drowning my sorrows away' –

Minutes later they were seated at Haley's kitchen table, each with a sandwich and a glass of milk in front of them. Peyton contemplated asking, she didn't wanna push Haley because she hadn't tried to push her, but she couldn't let Haley bottle it all up. Bottling it up was her specialty and in the end she knew it was gonna hurt, so was it better to save Haley from making those mistakes?

"I don't wanna push you or anything, Hales, but what happened with Nathan? You looked like I felt when we met at the door earlier..." she let the question sit, watching the brunette's expression change from content to dark. "You don't have to answer, I just thought I'd put it out there if you wanted to talk," Peyton stammered, not wanting to anger the girl next to her.

"I know you're there, but I can't go back through all of this right now. You don't wanna hash out your night with Lucas right now do you?" Haley snapped, Peyton winced at her tone, her eyes traveling back to her plate, unable to look up at her friend. It was then that Haley regretted her words, trying to find the words to form an apology.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know you're there if I need to talk, and the same goes for you if you need to talk. I guess, I just need some time, you know how that is," Haley rambled slightly, watching Peyton.

"Yea, I didn't mean to push you, I just know what it's like to bottle all of that up, and trust me, it's not good. I just didn't want you to go through that," Haley nodded at Peyton's words, absorbing them and taking a good hard look at what she had become. Maybe she did need to talk, but she didn't have the words to explain her feelings.

"Maybe you don't have the words right now, but I'm here, Hales. We both had sucky nights, its probably not good to push your only friend away," Peyton stuck her tongue out at the brunette, teasing her lightly. Haley laughed at Peyton's attempts to lighten the mood, nudging her with her elbow and taking another bite from her sandwich.

They would have to stick together for a while – they were all they had.

Ok, I think it turned out okay, not really what I was going for, but not bad nonetheless. I love the Peyton/Haley friendship if you can't already tell so that'll be a pretty major point in this story. Also, for those of you hoping for a Brooke reconciliation, I'm working on that for one of the upcoming chapters, so keep an eye out. Anyway, this was a bit of a filler chapter, but it was necessary SO IF YOU LIKED IT AND WANT AN UPDATE – REVIEW!

REVIEW - don't be lazy, log in and tell me what you thought, it takes a few seconds to review but they mean a lot to me as a writer. So, review!