12 Memories
Chapter 10 - Happy to Hang Around
Author's Note - Okay, this is one of my most popular stories so far, but only 3 reviews? Come on guys a little support here. I'm updating because you're reviewing. I mean I like writing but I'm not writing this just for myself. I got like 78 hits for the last chapter, but 3 reviews. Maybe the last chapter wasn't all that great? I don't know, but hopefully this one is better. This is gonna be a long one. Enjoy.
It was only ten minutes into another movie that a knock sounded on Haley's front door. Being it was only around 7 in the morning they were both baffled as to who would be knocking. Immediately both of their thoughts went to the two boys who they'd both left broken in the night streets of Tree Hill. Without words they both seemed to ask if they should answer and in the end it was Haley who walked to the door, opening it to find a surprisingly somber brunette on the other side of the door.
– 'They were following me, they were following everyone. They had visions of me holding hands walking into the sun' –
Nervously, she looked between the two girls who sat in Haley's small house, her mind filled with what they thought of her. She knew she was in the wrong this time, but she desperately needed to make up with these two girls, she needed her friends back even if it took her all night to get through to them. She was going to try, she wasn't the bitch everyone thought she was, she had feelings too and at that moment, she was hurting too.
"Brooke?" Haley stammered, wondering what she was doing, but giving her credit for having the guts to show her face in front of Peyton. Peyton scowled from her place on the couch, she was in no mood to go through things with Brooke, she was running on no sleep, she was dangerous to mess with – Brooke knew this.
"Hey, Haley," Brooke threw out, hoping to keep things light between all of them. She hadn't come to fight anyone that morning.
"Um, I hate to be the blunt one here, but what are you doing here, Brooke?"
She was taken aback by Haley's need to get things out in the open, she had never been that way. Brooke faltered in her quick answer, giving herself a few moments to gather her thoughts. To tell them what they needed to know without things going sour – she refused to loose these girls.
"I just...I need to talk to you guys. Just give me a few minutes. I know neither of you want me here, but please just a few minutes," she begged. Peyton, stunned by Brooke's pleading, nodded as Brooke took a few steps into the house. Brooke had never been a begger unless the situations absolutely called for it, apparently this situation did.
"You've only got a few minutes, how bout you start talking, Brooke?" Peyton pushed, awaiting her explanation for the things that had gone down over the past few days.
"I guess I don't really have an explanation for any of my actions of the last few days. They were uncalled for, I admit that." Peyton scoffed, but Brook did her best to keep going. "
Everything I did was wrong, and I never meant for any of it. Not that you didn't expect to hear that crap, but it's the truth here. I got jealous, Peyton. Lucas was always leaving me, running off to you all the time, I just didn't know what to do. I thought I was losing him, and I'm Brooke Davis. I wouldn't let myself be dumped for someone else so I figured I'd out do him. I went after Jake to get back at you , I guess. To get you for taking Lucas away from me. I never really thought about your friendship, I've never had a friend like that, I've never shared anything like you have with him. I guess that's why I'm here apologizing," she finished, watching the blonde's features.
"I'm sorry," was all Peyton could come up with, leaving both Brooke and Haley bewildered.
"What are you sorry for?" Brooke questioned, her mind reeling.
"I'm sorry for taking him, I'm sorry that you don't have that kind of friendship in your life, I'm sorry that you have that reputation that you think you need to live up to," she explained, leaving Brooke feeling worse about hurting a girl who could do nothing but apologize for her lack of relationships.
"Will we get past this?"
"Hopefully, I still want to have you as a part of my life, Brooke. You're one of my closest friends, I wanna work past this, I wanna trust you again."
"I'm working on it, P. Sawyer," her nickname brought a smile to the blonde's face as she invited the two brunettes to sit.
– 'Now people get down, people get down, people get hurt. And when you did it to me I was already in the ground. And I'll never get into your heart, no I don't even want to start' –
"So, tutor girl, I hear you and the boy toy are having some problems," Haley shook her head, waving it off. Peyton rolled her eyes at Haley's faux nonchalant attitude.
"Oh, they are. In fact, Hales already flipped out on me earlier," she nudged Haley in the shoulder, a sing of teasing. Haley smiled, still not saying a word about her and Nathan's situation. Brooke giggled, still having never seen Haley get anywhere near mad it shocked her.
"So, our Haley is a little touchy on the subject of Nathan Scott?" Peyton shook her head adamantly at Brooke's question, Haley frowned.
"Can we do this another day? I don't feel like talking about it right now..."
"You never feel like talking about it," Peyton pointed out, leaving Haley scowling at both of them.
"So, what happened?" Brooke questioned as Peyton tried to put the story together.
"Apparently, at your house on the day she and Nathan got in a bit of fight because Haley asked the dreaded question-"
"The what are we going to be, where are we going question?" Brooke gasped, shaking her head at Haley who sat glaring in the corner of her couch.
"Yep, that one. He said he didn't want to wreck their friendship with a relationship-"
"Hmm, so that sounds like someone I know..."Haley trailed off, Peyton frowned this time.
"Anyway, don't mind her. Nathan didn't want to wreck things leaving our Hales hurt. Then, she met up with him earlier where he tried to apologize but she took a play out of my book and walked away from him," again Peyton nudged her small friend, receiving a minuscule smile.
"Peyton, you're a bad influence," Brooke decided, Peyton stuck her tongue out at the brunette before Brooke continued. "Haley, you know Nathan's a good guy, he wasn't trying to hurt you when he pushed you away. That's just who he is, he's always cherished your friendship, I can see it in the way he looks at you. But he was wiling to try-"
"I don't wanna be hurt again," Haley interrupted.
"You wouldn't. When Nathan Scott puts his heart on his sleeve like that he has no intention of hurting you. He really likes you, Haley. I mean really likes you. Any hurt he caused you before was unintentional, he wants you," Brooke finished, with a satisfied smile then turned to her blonde friend, ready to confront her demons. Haley tried to digest the information, still staying quiet, mulling over her thoughts.
– 'I'll never get into your heart, I'm just happy to hang around, happy to hang around.' –
Peyton crumbled under Brooke's unnerving stares. She stuck her hand up to wave Brooke's rant along, she had known it was coming. She took a deep breath before she started talking.
"So, P. Sawyer, I have not been out of the loop in your life either. I hear you and Broody have a little something going on," Brooke wiggled her eyebrows receiving a grin from both girls.
"Yes, dear Peyton has done some running of her own," Haley butted in, receiving nasty look from the curly blonde.
"Peyton, Lucas wants you, why not go for it?" Brooke quizzed, her mind racing as to what the hell these girls problems were.
"I'm not gonna wreck things, I refuse. He's my best friend, if things don't work I won't lose him," she retorted, Brooke nodding slowly.
"But things are already different, you can't go back to what you were now. Instead of losing him permanently because of all of this, why not try to be with him, that's if you want him in that way," Haley pointed out, leaving Peyton to wonder.
"I agree with Tutor Girl," Brooke shouted.
Reluctantly, Peyton began to speak, letting out some of her innermost thoughts, "I do."
"You do what?" Haley prodded.
"I...I do want him in that way, I just don't want things to change."
"Things are always gonna change, Peyton. You just gotta roll with it," Brooke explained, and Peyton nodded again at the information.
"He kissed me," Peyton told the girls, a squeal erupted from both of them as a smile tugged on the corners of Peyton's lips. "Jake called me as he was about to for the first time and I agreed to meet him at the café. Lucas freaked about how Jake hurt me and he didn't. I snapped at him and tried to walk away but he grabbed my wrist and he kissed me. I kissed him back for a second, but then I stopped and started crying. And then he asked...he asked for that part of me that I've just never given and I refused and ran. God, he probably hates me now," she finished, letting out a breath and watching their reactions.
"He could never hate you, Peyton," Haley spoke softly, absorbing everything that had happened. It finally dawned on her how much this was hurting Peyton, how badly she didn't want to lose him after she had lost so many people. And it occurred to her how Nathan was feeling about chancing their friendship.
"I miss him," Peyton admitted. For so long she had spent so much time goofing off with him, laughing, just having fun and now all they had done was scream. He had never made her cry, he had always been the one to pick her up and recently all she had done was cry. And there was something missing without having him around to talk to.
"It's like a piece of me is missing when I can't talk to him or be around him..."
"But?" Brooke pried.
"But even when I'm with him there's a void. It's like I don't have anyone in the world who knows me inside and out. Even Lucas doesn't know that part of me, that piece I've had hidden since my mom died. I'm just so scared of getting hurt," she sobbed, as Haley sat up pulling the blonde into her arms for a few minutes. Brooke took a hold of her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"Peyton, you two have it made. This is as easy as it goes for a couple. You've always been friends, you have history, he knows you better than anyone, what if he's the one?" Brooke stopped, letting Peyton take some time for herself and then continuing. "If you never try, you'll never know. Can you live with that regret? Just go to him, even if it's just to talk things out. He's hurting too, and you know he'd do anything to have you with him right now," Peyton nodded once more, wiping her eyes of the salty tears.
"I'll go find Jake, sorta fill him in on the situation, so don't worry about him, you have to do this, P. Sawyer," Peyton stood, straightening her clothes out, determined to do what she had to do.
– 'Take a picture of me, and show it to everyone. No more pictures of you, no more love, no more setting sun. Now people get down, people get down, people get hurt' –
The boys remained at the River Court, still discussing easier times, times when they didn't have to worry so much. When things weren't so complicated.
"So, you know I think our first kisses ended a lot better than our last ones," Nathan pointed out, Lucas laughed at his little brother's observation.
"Definitely," he agreed.
It was only minutes later as they continued to discuss how badly things had turned out over the last few days that Jake walked up. They offered for him to sit down and he accepted, joining in the kissing conversation.
"So, Jake, we were going over first kisses, how bout you?" he blushed slightly, shy to reveal his. "C'mon," Lucas teased, waiting for the answer.
"Haley," Nathan almost choked on his gum as Jake reveled his first kiss.
"Hey, Jake," a thirteen year old version of Haley greeted as he sat on a swing by himself.
"Hey," he returned.
"Um, I just wanted to thank you for helping me with my project the other day. You didn't really have to, so I just wanted to say thanks," she shrugged. He smiled at how she had come out just to thank him for something so smal..
"No problem," he replied coolly.
"Well, I'm gonna go then, thanks again," she mustered her courage as he stood to leave too. Quickly she kissed him, leaving him shocked as she ran. His cheeks flushed as he watched her.
"Wow, Haley had some courage when we were younger," Lucas said, Nathan still wondered why he couldn't get Haley to get that courage back.
"What about Peyton?" Nathan asked, coming to the realization that no one knew her first kiss.
"I'm not really supposed to tell," Lucas laughed at Peyton's threats when they were younger. Nathan whined as Jake sat.
"Okay, you can't say anything, but two days after Theresa kissed me, Peyton decided she couldn't be left out, so she kissed Vegas. Jake and Nathan fell into hysterics as Lucas relived Peyton's explanation.
"I don't know what I was thinking, Luke. I just felt all left out, I mean Theresa kissed you and then Brooke got kissed by some guy so I just saw Vegas and we started talking. We had a swing jumping contest and then I landed on top of him. I just kissed him real quick and took off running. It was so embarrassing. You tell anybody any of that and I'll beat you up myself."
"Luke!" Nathan shouted, waving his hands in front of his brother's face.
"Huh? What's up?"
"Jake asked you a question," he explained.
"Were you with Peyton this morning?"
"Uh, yea," Lucas stuttered, unsure if he was supposed to tell Jake that. Jake shook his head, things were coming together – that was why Peyton didn't show. But he wouldn't old it against her this time, she wasn't meant to be with him, he knew it from the beginning.
"Listen, man, I'm sorry about everything. It was my fault, I was an asshole," Jake tried to apologize but Lucas waved him off.
"Don't worry about it. Maybe it's better things happened this way because I got to spend the weekend with Peyton. Now I know where we both stand, and without everything that happened I'd still be with Brooke and honestly I don't think I was ever really happy with her," Jake winced, knowing Peyton felt the same way.
"I think I sorta knew Peyton was never happy with me, but I tried to keep her. I wanted her for myself, and I think she kinda resented me for that," he explained, leaving Lucas knowing Peyton did in fact feel the way he did, she was just better at holding it all in.
– 'And when you did it to me, I was already in the dirt. And I'll never get into your heart, no I don't even want to start.' –
As the girls left Haley's house, all headed in separate directions, Peyton saw Jake walking just ahead of her. Shit, Brooke was supposed to take care of him, and she wondered what she should do. She couldn't run off in another direction now, she was stuck there.
"Peyton, can we talk for a sec?" she nodded, wondering where this conversation was headed. "I just wanted to thank you," she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. He's thanking me?
"What?"
"I want you to be happy, Peyton. It's all I've ever really wanted. And if you can't be happy with me then I want you to be happy no matter what, even if it's with Lucas. And if you came to the café I would've just been making you miserable, the last thing I want to do," he exhaled, knowing they were quite possibly the hardest words he ever had to say to another human being.
Unexpectedly, she launched herself into his open arms, hugging him tightly. "Thank you," she whispered near his ear. He had never meant more to her then he did at that moment. "You're a good guy, Jake, and you're gonna make someone very happy one day. Maybe she's right where you least expect her," she winked as she pulled away and walked off. He had to question her intentions with that statement but continued to wander down the streets early that morning.
– 'I'll never get into your heart, I'm just happy to hang around, happy to hang around, happy to hang around' –
Lucas also walked the empty streets of Tree Hill, not sure where he was headed or who he was going to find. Strangely, he found Brooke in front of him, and he wanted nothing more than to turn around and walk in the other direction. His conscience took over as he walked up to her where he decided he owed her a serious apology.
"I'm sorry, Brooke."
"You're sorry?" she was baffled by his words.
"Yea. I'm sorry that my mind was always somewhere else when we were together, and that I was never there when you needed me -"
"You don't have to apologize for any of that. I'm the one who cheated, don't you think I should apologize?" she teased the boy in front of her, receiving the trademark Scott smirk.
"Okay, first off, I tried to hard, Lucas. I tried to hard to get you to love me when I knew the whole time that you didn't, even if you didn't know it yourself. I knew you were meant for Peyton, but I tried to get you to want me anyway. I was selfish and then I hurt you and I'm so sorry for the Jake thing. But on the bright side, Peyton's looking for you," she ended her speech.
"I did like you, Brooke," he answered, trying to redeem himself.
"I know, but maybe it wasn't enough, Luke," she left him with a kiss on the cheek and headed off to find Jake, hoping Peyton hadn't found him first.
– 'And I'll never get into your heart, no I don't even want to start' –
Nathan was only walking to find his car, unlike the other five teenagers that were on the street that morning. A small figure caught him off guard, then he awkwardly realized Haley was standing in front of him.
"Haley," he said, bitterly. Her eyes drift to the cement as she tries to explain.
"Nathan, please, don't be like that. I was so hurt that day when you didn't even want to try. And then when you caught me last night, I didn't want to trust you, I didn't want to feel that pain again."
"And you think it didn't hurt me the same way when you shot me down last night!" he asked, raising his voice. She cringed under his tone. "I put my heart out to you, Haley. Everyone told me that I needed to take the chance if I wanted you and I did only for you to say I don't know and walk away, HOW DO YOU THINK THAT FELT?" the tears filled her eyes quickly but she held them in, she wouldn't let him see her cry.
"I didn't mean for things to happen that way, Nathan. Please -"
"No, I don't wanna hear your excuses. Just stay away from me, Haley," he said coldy. His eyes - once so full of passion for her - were now filled with ice. He turned away, dejectedly walking away from the girl who stood in tears.
Only seconds later did he run into Brooke and Jake, each of them saw his expression. Brooke, being curious, decided to find out exactly what had transpired between him and Haley.
"What happened, Nathan?" he grunted in response, pushed past them and kept going.
Worriedly, Jake took off in search of Haley. They had been friends for a long while, always able to confide in each other when no one else would listen. Hell, she had been his first kiss and while those feelings had faded long ago he needed to help her when she was hurt. This left Brooke to go in search of Nathan – she need to know what happened, she needed to know what went wrong between the two people she thought were so perfect together.
– 'I'll never get into your heart, I'm just happy to hang around, happy to hang around, happy to hang around' –
Peyton wrapped her arms tighter around herself though the night was relatively warm. She could smell barbeques from the neighborhood. She felt the rain hit her hair, her curls flattening to a matted mess against her head.
He ran quickly, the rain soaking him through as his feet hit the wet grass as he approached the River Court. This time he knew she was there, but he didn't expect to see her in that spot, but he knew she wouldn't have gone home.
She saw him enter, but she remained in her spot in the rain in the direct middle of the court. She pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on top of them, she had been in that exact spot almost 7 years ago. Her eyes were red from where he stood and walked to her, sitting next to her the same as he had done that night.
"Do you hate me?" she whispered, turning her head away from him.
"I could never hate you," he said softly, just as Haley had told her not long before. There was a beat of silence as the rain continued to fall.
"What're you doing here?" she asked the same question he had asked on the fateful night.
"I knew you'd come here, but no one else would," he replied, the same answer she gave him.
She smiled at his words, he was her very best friend. She leaned against him, unsure of what she could say to him at this point. He watched her, feeling horrible that he had changed things so drastically, that she was in so much pain with the idea of losing him.
"I'm so sorry, Peyt. We can go back to the way things were, if you really want," he offered as she shook her head.
"We can't. Things are different now. We've crossed that line," she explained.
"I'm sorry," was all he could get out.
"Don't be," she responded, catching him completely off guard. "I do want you, Luke. I want to give you that part of me, and I want to trust you completely."
"But?" he asked, knowing everything wasn't going to be this easy.
"But, I don't really know how. I've never given all of myself to someone, not physically, not mentally or spiritually. I've always kept so much of myself hidden from the world, I'm not really sure how to let it all out now," she explained.
"You don't have to give me everything now, I'll wait for you. I'm not pushing you into a relationship or commitment, just trust me, Peyton. I won't hurt you," he said sincerely, she looked up at him and never had she seen him look so earnest or sincere before.
"I know you won't."
"Then trust me, please," he pleaded, and she tried so hard to not give in. Finally, after all her contemplation she rounded up all the strength she could find to say anything else.
"Okay," she whispered in the early morning hours. He held her tighter, placing a kiss gently on her forehead. Please, don't hurt me, Lucas, she begged, trying to telepathically reach him because she couldn't go through anymore pain. He didn't say anything, 'okay' was enough for him, it was all he needed to give him hope.
Okay, that was a long one, but I loved it. Hopefully it turned out okay, and it captured everyone's apologies and moving on right. I wanted everyone to be on good terms when this ends – only about 4 more chapters to go so it's gonna wind down a little. The song was "Happy to Hang Around" by Travis – its off the 12 Memories cd and it's awesome.
REVIEW, the more I get the quicker I update with a conclusion for what's gonna happen with Nathan and Haley & Lucas and Peyton. PLEASE REVIEW!