At that moment Michaels thoughts form earlier in the day flashed I his mind…
He understood why she felt the way she did, he had lied to her but not for the reason that she thought. It wasn't because he wanted to, it was because he had to, he had to save his brothers life. If only he could tell her everything. He so desperately wanted to, but he knew that he couldn't do that. If he did he could risk everything that he had worked on. He would be putting his brothers life in even more danger than it already was. Deep down he didn't think that she would harm the plan if she did know, but could he really risk that. He wasn't sure how she would react if he told her. What was he thinking he couldn't really tell her.
When Michael was sent to prison he knew all about Sara, well mostly the obvious things, the things that he had researched on her a head of time. He knew what she looked like and what she had done in her life already. But her didn't truly know her until he met her in person. With all of his planning and researching he could have never predicted the way he was going to feel for her. She was the one safe place he could go in this dark place that he was in. She lightened up his day, and gave him that little bit of hope that everything would be okay. She always seemed to be there. Unfortunately even when he didn't want her to be. Not that he didn't want her to be, but more that he knew she couldn't be. As much as he wanted to talk to her, he knew that if he did it would all be based on lies. And he didn't want to do that to her. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already was. Sometimes he could tell that she could see right through him. He knew that she was trying to piece everything together about him, and figure him out, but he had no idea how close she was to figuring it all out. She was smart and determined, that he had already known.
When she had first approached him yesterday, he didn't understand why she seemed so upset. But as she started to talk he realized what had started this. Even though she said she wasn't jealous maybe she really was. And that killed him. Maybe she really did care about him, a lot more than she let on. If only he could explain to her the reason he was married, tell her that
His mind wonders to that conversation that they had yesterday. Sara wants to know all of his secrets. And in away he wants her to know them. But he can't figure out how to let her in and save his brother at the same time. The part of that conversation that had seemed to stick in his head the most was when she told him that being a prison doctor, she expects to get attention from inmates. But she's enjoying it with him. That made him happy and generally scared at the same time. Coming in here he had meant to charm her, but not to make these deep feelings that were surfacing occur. It hurt him to think that she thought she needed to be careful around him. He was serious when he told her she didn't need to be. She didn't give him the chance to explain. There was no way that he could keep their interactions strictly doctor patient. Not now. There may be too many questions surrounding him, but he suddenly came to a decision. The questions she has about him, there are answers and he will give them to her.