Check It Out! Rando!Sich #1: Supermarket
An act of epic idiocy is about to come to head. So grab your helmets and your shotguns, 'cuz it's gonna get ugly.
xxxx
Doctor stared at the screen of her laptop. Should she? No. Would she? Obviously. Rando!Sich! The newest saga! Filled with all of the running gags in Weird—and more!
So here's the fourth thing that came to mind—a basic thing, after a few ten word starter revisions. A boy, standing in a long line at the super-market. Comedy, thy name is Sokka.
And so, I begin.
xxxx
Sokka heaved a deep sigh, and drummed his fingers against the cart-handle, draped lazily over it, one arm propping up his chin. This line was taking forever, and the people were staring at him.
He withheld the urge to snap at them 'bugger off!', instead opting to turn his war-paint covered face toward the magazine rack.
Neon colored, celebrity plastered tabloids leered back at him. The types of things Katara read. 'Pleasing your Man', 'Hot new Hairstyles', 'Angelina and Ben—the latest gossip'. Disgusting. Resisting a shudder, he darted his eyes hopefully toward the cashier. No luck.
Beep!
The cashier frowned, and reswiped the barcode.
Beep!
She swiped it again, furrowing her eyebrows.
Beep!
Same problem. A strand of vibrant red hair fell into her face, but she ignored it, re-swiping the item once more.
Beep!
—Sokka dragged his eyes back from the scene of 'technical difficulties' (Translation: new check-out-girl with no clue about how to work the register).
This… was definitely going to take a while.
Three minutes—an eternity of finger drumming, foot tapping, and sighing—passed. The store was packed still—it was 6 PM, and a Friday night. Everyone and their lemur was over here shopping for the next week. It was, in other words, a zoo. And it didn't help that they were having a sale on all frozen-foods, either.
"Mitch?" the cashier girl yelled over the not-so-muted roar of booze-carrying college students from the nearby UCLA.
"What?" came the reply from Aisle 13 – Cereals. "I need you to help me out here," shouted the girl.
"'Kay!" yelled back 'Mitch'.
Sokka groaned, and stood on his toes, looking over the lane-dividers to see if any other lanes were open. Only four of the seven others were—they were short-staffed. And then, finally, he felt there was no other option. He reached a trembling hang toward The Magazine Rack.
xxxx
Which to choose, which to choose… There were no sports magazines, and gaming magazines were on the other side of the store. He had a feeling that if he moved, he'd lose his spot in line. So that was no option.
The National Enquirer? He wrinkled his nose. That was worse the Seventeen. CosmoGirl? Never. Teen People? He flinched at the cover story—Marie Kate steals Paris' man!
Definitely not.
And then… salvation?
He snatched the dark blue and silver magazine; the only one left in it's rack. The cover story? 'In Depth Interview with Author of Renowned Comedy—DoctorDoctor of the hit sitcom 'Weird'!'
Sokka let his lips twitch up into a grin. He loved that sitcom. Especially the brother and sister, Rahla and Sekara. And that Duke kid? He loved to hate 'im.
So he flipped open the magazine.
xxxx
IN-DEPTH INTEREST WEEKLY
In this issue of In-Depth Interest Weekly, we have writer and producer of the hit Weird sitcom series, from HBO. Rivaling ratings with Roam, this sitcom appeals to not the adult travel-oriented audience, but the teenage audience, in a refreshing, sarcastic way.
IDIW: What's up, Doc?
Doc: Oh, please—no! I've heard that pun too many times! (laughs)
IDIW: Okay; let's get to what the readers want to know. How did Weird get started?
Doc: Long story short, I just got sick of every teen-targeted show being pumped full of unnecessary sex, drama, etc. I just wanted, originally, something almost parodying these. It soon turned into a light-hearted, hysterical hit with my neighbor's 13 and 15 year old girls, and my 17 year old niece.
IDIW: Wow. So the show's statistics don't lie?
Doc: If by that, you mean Weird appeals to both genders? Well, pretty much.
IDIW: Sweet. So, then, what type of feedback did you first expect when you promo'd the show?
Doc: Nothinglike what I got, that's for sure! I thought I'd get a 'thanks, we'll call you' kiss-off—instead, I got a contract for 2 seasons!
IDIW: And judging by your ratings, you'll be back for more?
Doc: Definitely. I've had some pretty—well—dedicated fans…
IDIW: How dedicated?
Doc: Think 'dedicated' with a capital 'Obsession'.
xxxx
Beep! Beep! Beep! BEEP!
Sokka jerked his head up, still chuckling over some of the obsessive fans and DocDoc's response, when he saw the chaotic mess that was the register.
Somehow, the girl manning it had locked down the machine, and was now groaning as she tried to reboot the scanning system. Sokka sighed, stomach rumbling, and popped open one of the bags of chips that was in his cart.
He might as well eat them now…
"Why—"
Beep!
"—won't—"
Beep!
"—it—"
Beep!
"—start!—"
Beep!
The boy shook his head with a sigh, and returned to the amusing interview, only disturbed by the turning of a page or the eating of a chip.
Time flew by as the pages flipped. Soon, he was at the end of the article. Still, the checkout girl was fiddling with the machine. After another few minutes of waiting, he groaned, pulled out a 5 dollar bill for the chips, handed it to the cashier girl, and walked out the door silently—a perfect example of dignity.
…Until he realized he'd left his wallet in the cart, and bolted back inside.
And, lo and behold, a smiling check-out girl—a working register—a… tremendous waste of—check the clock—32 minutes of his life.
Sokka whimpered. 32 minutes?
…He missed Weird!