Jason Smith
The difference of fighting and peace
Something interesting happens after your first real fight. I don't mean an argument, or a simple I punch you, you punch me back and we both go away with wounded prides. I mean a real fight, a balls to the wall two people pounding each other fight. After a fight like this the volume on everything is turned down, suddenly nothing can really disturb you. You don't fear that deadline in two days on the project you haven't started or the impending tax day in April that's coming up and you haven't saved any receipts. You become focused; Zen like, nothing can disturb you. People will obey your rules. Even them breaking your rules can't disturb you. Your roommate yelling because you've let your room become a pigsty and its starting to stink up the apartment doesn't phase you (though a bit of offhanded sloppiness is a side-effect but what do you care you're a Zen Buddha now)
Of course if you've never been in a fight before (keep in mind, a real fight) you wouldn't know any of that. In your world everything has its place, everything must be ordered and neat and perfect. If anything at all should disturb this perfect snow-globe world, then you freak out, stress overwhelms you, "what will I ever do? Now the lamp is broken and the whole ambience of the room has been obliterated I must replace it at once." Dear lord, you only have two weeks left before that big presentation to big wig executives.You've got to finish that PowerPoint telling how the boss chose cornflower blue for the icons of that new program a nobody tech junkie designed for the company. As you walk home every alley and corner may hide a new threat so you have to stay alert.
Let's try again through the eyes of a fighter. Lamps broken, big deal get, a new one tomorrow (tomorrow keeps being a day away oh well). Where's the tax forms? In the pile over there (wait you haven't pointed at anything, whatever figure it out later). PowerPoint? Finish it tomorrow I have plenty of time left. A mugger? Bring it on. He'll be sorry for it: besides there isno point in dying without a few scars huh?
Fighters can always recognize each other. You can always tell that guy with stitches under his eye or the one with a split lip. You can tell they've been in a real fight and when they see you and you see them you both know and suddenly you've got another brother or sister in the world. Not that way with the soft ones, they too can tell when another of their type passes but theirs no kinship, it's a simple predatory glance with "they might outdo me I need to outdo them first" connotations behind it. That's why you never see fighters as big time corporate rat racers, they don't care about outdoing one another.
Along with this kinship comes a kind of sixth sense where a fighter automatically knows when another of his kind wants to fight. It could be for any reason, bad day at work, wife deciding to divorce, anything at all the reason doesn't really matter to the opponent. Not only this, a fighter also knows the exact procedure (if two people of like will meet) to get the other one to start it. Afterward when both are sitting in the hospital with broken noses and split lips, and stitches they can grin at each other and just say "damn you got some left hook". Both then go they're own ways and life goes on for them.
For the corporate junkie they've mastered the art of communicating without saying anything. They can send thousands of emails, memo's and phone calls without saying a single meaningful thing. If one of them has a bad day no one will know except maybe a wife or husband whom the person complains toabout the minor things. Once again they're not really saying anything, none of their real issues will come up, only the fact that this pointed dress shoe is too small and squeezes his toes. Even when using all the many means of "modern" communication it tends toward the non-english. Its all written and said in a special language derived from a singularly unique lexicon of the corporate world (words like non-english being part of said lingo).
So have you thought about this? Thoroughly read this essay? If you have you have come to the same conclusion I have. Sometimes a good brawl is all the medicine a person needs.
this is not a prescription you will ever get from any doctor.