A/N: Thanks to all who posted reviews! I guess people do like this story! That makes me REALLY happy :)! This chapter is really long( i think it's good but y'know; I wrote it) thanks to all the wonderful reviews I got which inspired me immensely! You all rock!
Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR 2.
Chapter 9
She awoke with a massive headache and found that she was beeling and bruised. She tried to stand but found that she couldn't muster up the strength to do anything but sit up. She rubbed her head in a pathetic attempt to heal the wound on it. It was then when she noticed that she couldn't use the Force anymore. Panic set in and she looked around to see if she could even recognize where she was. She had no clue.
"No! Not again..." She put her hand in front of her and tried to move a small rock. The rock didn't even budge. Her breathing became irregular and unsteady. She couldn't deal with the fact of losing the Force again. It had happened once and she was determined to not let it happen again.
She put her hand out again and, in a futile action, tried to move the rock. The rock didn't move. Again and again she tried. And again and again...the rock stayed in the same place, not affected slightly by her efforts. She placed her head in her hands and tried to regain her composure. Panicking would not help the situation at all. She recited the Jedi code in her head but found that she couldn't remember the last part.
"Hmmm, you are stronger than I anticipated. I would have thought for sure that the poison would have kicked in by now..." The woman said softly, almost sympathetically.
"Why? Why are you doing this? What have I done!" She yelled back at her.
"Temper, temper. Why, Exile, it would seem the poison is working..." She stepped forward towards the weakened woman. "Your training is already wearing off. Tell me, how much do you remember about the Jedi?"
The woman racked her memory for the information, but she could already feel her memories sliding from her mind like water. "I...I am a Jedi."
The white clothed woman looked at her with a crooked smile. "Are you sure?"
"I..." She stumbled to remember if she was. She was a Jedi, wasn't she? She decided to put on a brave facade. "Of course I'm a Jedi."
"Really? I thought you were a bounty hunter..."
She could now feel the older woman probing her mind, replacing her memories with other false ones. She struggled against the poison now filtering through her body, but to no avail. Her mind was already going and she was so tired...
"Your name is Serena Toppak, isn't it?" The older woman stated. She merely nodded feebly. "You have no family, no friends, no allies. All who you have ever known and love have betrayed you, haven't they? It is the Jedi who have ruined your life. They have ruined it and now you want revenge, don't you?"
"Revenge." She said as if tasting the word. "Yes...I want revenge."
"On who?"
"The Jedi."
"What do you intend to do?" The robed woman asked innocently.
"Kill them. Every one of them."
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The Ebon Hawk landed on the city wide planet of Coruscant. Buildings slowly grew taller and wider as the ship approached its destination. Mical stared out the viewport at the Jedi Temple as they passed it on their way to the Senate building. The temple had been empty since the death of so many Jedi during the Mandalorian Wars, and than the final decimation of the protectors of peace during the Jedi Civil War. He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. What was he going to say to get her to give him a sample of her blood?
"Well?" Atton's voice broke his concentration.
"Well what?" Mical countered.
"Did you get her to-"
"No." He said quickly.
"No? What were you doing during all that time? Chatting?" Atton sighed angrily. "In case you haven't noticed, that woman isn't Fiona."
"What are you talking about?" Mical asked alarmed. "How do you know that?"
"Nothing adds up. She isn't anything like Fiona..."
"But-"
"You only like her because she gives you more attention than she does me..." Atton said.
"What? That is not true!" Mical said defensively.
"Your feelings are clouding your judgement." Atton said in a mocking tone.
"Shut up, Atton. That isn't true and you and I both know it." Mical said quietly. Though, he had to admit, his feelings may be playing a part in his defense of her.
"Isn't it? You like her...you've liked Fiona and when she picked me over you, it drove you nuts."
"Shut up, Atton." Mical said more loudly.
"So now's your chance to have your spotlight...the woman looks exactly like Fiona so why not try capturing her heart?" Atton was goading him now.
Mical was losing his calm very quickly. "Shut up, Atton! I will not tell you again."
"Hey! It might work this time, Mic! Who knows? Maybe she'll fall for a stupid sucker like you-" Atton felt his throat growing tighter. He loosened his collar; it didn't lessen the grip.
"That is the last time, Atton." Mical lowered his voice menacingly. "Say it again, Atton. I dare you."
Atton looked him in the eyes and lowered his voice, "She loves me. Not you-"
Atton was thrown against the wall roughly. The sound of lightsabers igniting filled the cockpit. It was Atton's viridian blade versus Mical's orange one. The lightsabers met with fierce determination. Mical twirled his lightsaber and then brought it crashing down on Atton's saber. Atton parried the blows, one after one they came. Each fiercer than the last and each with power behind it. Atton blocked another blow and moved to Mical's right, managing to get around him. He tried an uppercut but Mical was faster. Their blades met again.
Atton looked into Mical's eyes and saw an emotion that he had never seen before. Rage. Whatever he had said had really ticked Mical off. Atton decided that if he made him mad enough, maybe he would make a mistake giving Atton enough time to end the fight. Mical blocked a blow to the right as he swung around and cut Atton's elbow slightly, making Atton begin backing up towards the main hold.
"Can't take the truth, huh?" Atton said as he took another hit on his left arm.
Mical said nothing, completely consumed in his fight with Atton. The boy looked so innocent and weak on the outside, Atton had always thought, but he proved to be more of a challenge then expected. Atton swung down and Mical barely blocked the blow towards his head. He countered with a flurry or attacks back at Atton. Atton again backed up more. While backing up, Atton tripped.
The next thing Atton saw was a lightsaber...aimed directly at his throat. He swallowed hard. The man standing above him had won. Atton continued to wait for the blow that would end his life sending him into a world of pain. The blow never came, but the lightsaber stayed in the same position. Atton could see the conflict within the boy's eyes. He knew that if the positions had been reversed then Mical would be dead right now. Atton would not have hesitated in killing the younger man.
"Don't have the guts to finish it, blondie? I always knew you were weak." For someone in a postion such as Atton's...Atton wasn't being too smart.
The blade shrunk until it was gone completely. Mical put his weapon back on his belt and held a hand out to Atton. Atton hit it away and stood up, his lightsaber ignited. Mical paid no heed to the blade and simply walked around the man. His fists clenched the whole time. He looked back at Atton, who was standing there confused and dumbstruck.
"I'm so sorry." Mical said quietly as he left the hall. The last sound in the hall was the hum of the lightsaber blade.
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Mical walked in the garden on the 17th floor of the Senate building. He tried his breathing excercises...but nothing seemed to calm or heal his guilt. What had come over him? To attack Atton like that was something that no Jedi would have done. Did that mean that he wasn't a Jedi? He shook his head and rounded a corner filled with vast vegetation and found a small fountain. He sat down on the edge of the fountain, letting the sounds of the water calm him.
"What happened?" Startled, Mical turned around to see Serena standing in front of him.
He put on a fake smile. "Nothing."
"You're lying again. You should really work on that." She smiled and took a seat beside him.
"What makes you think that I'm lying?"
"I heard you on the ship." She said as she reached for his hand, he pulled it away.
"I don't know what came over me..." He took a breath and she could almost feel the pain radiating off of him.
She put her hand on his shoulder. "You're only human. We all make mistakes and we all lose our temper. Take me for example...I shot a guy in the head for looking at me."
This provided Mical with no comfort at all. "But I am also a Jedi. I should've controlled my anger...but I didn't."
Serena looked at him sadly. Mical was usually the sort of guy who looked on the bright side of things. She had never seen this side of him before. Mical sighed and ran his fingers through his tossled hair. Serena didn't know what to do to comfort him.
Mical saw his chance to change the subject so he quickly did. "I heard you last night. Talking in your sleep, that is."
Serena looked down and took her hand off his shoulder. "It was nothing, just a dream."
"It was more than just a dream, wasn't it?" Mical questioned softly. He noticed her change in behavior the moment he mentioned the dream she had.
Serena looked conflicted with her answer. She wanted to tell him the truth...but couldn't bring herself to do it. It would mean that she had betrayed Atton, and that would break his heart and hers. If Mical and Atton both continued to think that she was Serena then maybe there would be less feelings hurt in the process.
"Serena?" Mical's voice broke her out of her thoughts. "What is wrong?"
"Nothing..." She looked away.
"You're lying."
"How did you know?" Serena asked, alarmed.
"You just told me."Mical said with a half smile. "Want to talk about it?"
"No! Why does it matter anyway! It was just a dream!" She stood up suddenly.
Mical stood up and took her smaller hands into his larger ones. He looked directly into her eyes, "Because it bothered you greatly."
"A lot of things have been bothering me recently." She turned away from him and walked to a nearby tree, placing her hand on it. "You being one of them."
"Me? I don't understand..." Mical moved to the left of her and tried to look into her eyes. He had always been taught that to know another's true feelings then you have to look them in the eyes; the eyes were a window to the soul. Serena noticed what he was trying to do and turned her head to the opposite side.
"Yes you do. You know." She said through clenched teeth. "You've always known, as have I. We were both just never ready to admit it."
"I...I'm positive I don't know what you're talking about..." Mical stammered.
"For the love of the Force, Mical! You know! You know, you know, you know!" She threw her arms up in frustration. "You can have the test."
"What test?" Mical answered innocently.
"Don't pretend like you don't know. The blood test; you can take it." She held out a small datapad-looking object. He took it reluctantly.
"Are you sure?" Mical placed the datapad on her arm.
"You want the truth...here it is." She pushed the button.
The color in Mical's face drained. He looked at her with astonishment. He took the datapad away and looked at it again, before shoving it in his pocket.
"You are..." He paused. "Fiona Ryzos."
"I am." She answered curtly.
"How long?" He said quietly and his fists tightened at his side.
"How long what?"
"How long have you known that you were Fiona? Or did you know all along?" Mical asked.
"After I had the first dream. That was why I was crying...because the memories began to flood back." She bit her bottom lip. "The memories of both you and Atton."
"So you knew when you said that you...that you..." His eyes held uncertainty.
She walked up to him and threw her arms around his neck. She leaned close to whisper in his ear, "I love you, Mical. I knew I was Fiona when I told you. That was why I was afraid to tell you who I truly was, because it would hurt more than just your feelings. It would break Atton's heart. I saw the way he looked at me when he first saw me in the cantina. It was as if a broken man had suddenly become whole again."
Mical wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly. "You know you can trust me with anything, right? You should've told me. You should've told Atton. He has a right to know."
"Oh, stop being so reasonable! You know it will tear him to pieces! He will become a broken man again...as long as he thinks that I'm Serena-"
"You can't do that to him. It will be even worse. You will give him false hope...he'll forever wander the galaxy looking for the woman that he loved and lost." Mical said calmly, although she could hear the pain in his voice.
"Well, what do you think we should do?" She asked. He let go of her and she knew something was wrong. He was about to tell her something that she knew she wasn't going to want to hear.
"You...you'll tell Atton the truth and then," He paused and swallowed. "You'll go with him."
She backed up as if hit by a physical blow. "Mical, you can't mean that...where will you go?"
"Back to the temple, and then other places to search for Force sensitives."
"No! I let you go once, I will not do so twice!" She said in a panicked tone. "I don't love him!"
"But you should! You were supposed to love him! Not me!"
"Why?" Fear knawed at her heart.
"I've already accepted that you love him...I accepted it when you left with him to Telos and left me on Dantooine. I accepted it again when we found you again on Ord Mantell! Atton won't be able to accept it! He'll be a shell of a man again without you. He needs you..."
"And you don't!" She screamed at him.
"We're Jedi...we aren't supposed to love." Mical tried to backtrack. He had to put some sense into her. He had to make her understand. He loved her...and it pained him to tell her to go with Atton, but he was a Jedi and Jedi's lives were sacrifices.
"But we do love each other! I can't deny my feelings anymore than I can deny that I'm a Jedi!"
It all came down to his next statement. He had to say it...for the woman he loved. He had to hurt her...to save her. "I...I don't love you." I can't, Fiona. Not when it will mean that it will destroy your life as well as mine and Atton's. I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me.
"What? You're lying...you're lying, Mical." He said nothing but looked away. "Tell me you're lying! Please..."
She began to cry softly. Mical clenched his hands so tightly that they began to bleed. He would not console her, nor would he take it back.
"I hate you. How could you...how could you pretend all this time to love me when you don't! How could you!" She paused and turned and began to leave. She stopped one last time. "I loved you and...you broke my heart, Mical. I'll always hate you for that. Always."
Then she left. Left Mical standing alone in the garden on the 17th floor of the Senate building. Mical's heart broke that day. He sat down on the edge of the fountain. I love you, Fiona. I always have and I always will. Always.
A/N: (dodges large objects being thrown at her) Sorry! Hey, at least you got all your answers to your questions! There may be a happy ending...there may not be...depends all on the reviews(and how I feel that day)! Please review...even if it is to tell me that I am cruel and mean and rotten(which if I read this story up to this point...I would consider myself mean and cruel and rotten). Anyway, thanks for all the support! I am considering a sequel so...you've been warned...