A/N: Please review if you read this, it helps make me a better writer which will make the story better! Enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own SW or KotOR 2...menaing I don't own Mical(DARN!)

Chapter 10

Mical walked solemnly up to the coffin. The coffin that held his true love in it. He walked up to it and peered inside. She looked pale and he could barely keep himself together looking at her fragile looking form. He held his hands firmly together as he looked at Fiona. Fiona, the woman who he had loved and who had loved him back, but he had pushed away. He glared angrily around and noticed that the whole crew was there, except Fiona's husband, Atton. Mical's heart swelled with rage. Atton hadn't even bothered to show up for the funeral.

Mical began to back away when Fiona's eyes snapped open. She stared at him with a cold glare. The she began to speak, but her tone was ice cold.

"Why, Mical? Why did I have to die?" She asked. He leaned forward towards her.

"I'm sorry, Fiona. I don't know why..." Mical said.

"Yes you do. You left me with that monster, he couldn't protect me. Not like you could have." She spoke with no emotion.

Mical said nothing.

"I didn't have to die, did I?" Tears welled up in the dead woman's eyes. "I wanted to live, Mical. I wanted to live..."

"Fi, I failed you. I'm sorry..." A few tears escaped from Mical's eyes.

"You're sorry? Sorry isn't going to bring me back, is it, Mical! I loved you, Mical. Yet you left me to die!"

"No...I thought that it would be better if-"

"You thought that it would be better to stick me with a man that I didn't love, and then ask me to die for you!" It was as if she was screaming inside Mical's head, and he couldn't block it out.

"Why did you move in front of me? I should be the one there, not you." Mical answered softly.

"Because I loved you...I always did. When I left you that day in the garden, my heart died, my soul died, I died." She paused. "Jumping in front of you wasn't the death that caused me to die. You killed me, Mical. The day you told me that you didn't love me was the day that I died. The blaster shot was the fatal blow but it merely was a step towards a less painful life."

"Fiona...I did love you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you...you said that you knew, though. You should have let me die!" Mical cried.

"But you had a life worth living, I didn't. I had been dying a little bit everyday after I married Atton." She moaned softly.

"Please forgive me, Fiona." Mical pleaded.

"I'll never forgive you, Mical. Even in death, I will hate you." And the dead woman's eyes closed...

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Mical's eyes snapped open and he sat up abruptly. His breathing was ragged and he was sweating immensely. He swung his legs to the side of the bed, so they hung over the edge. He grabbed his robe and put it on. Then hee put his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. Tears flowed down his cheeks, as he allowed himself to feel all the emotions that he had been suppressing for so long. He continued to tell himself that it was only dream.

What have I done? Why did I push her away? Was it because I'm afraid? She loved me and I broke her heart, I did the same thing to her that I asked her not to do to Atton. What am going to do now? She's probably half way to Telos or Nar Shaddaa by now. I should just leave her alone. She'll forget about me just like she did when she left for the Mandalorian Wars and left me alone at the Enclave. She'll move on...and I will as well. Mical shook his head angrily. Who am I kidding? I'll never be able to forget about her. I loved her, I love her still.

There was a knock on the door. Mical stood up and took a deep breath. He walked over to the door and opened it. Carth Onasi walked in, a frown plastered on his face. He strode right past Mical without so much as a hello. Mical saluted.

"At ease, Mical."

"Yes, sir." Mical said.

"Oh, cut the crap, Mical. This is a personal matter." Carth made himself comfortable on a nearby couch and motioned for Mical to join him, which he did.

"What is this about, Carth?"

"You know damn well what this is about!" Carth yelled angrily.

Mical shook his head. He had a pretty good guess. "Fiona."

"Bingo. What did you do?" Carth said in a menacing tone. Mical hadn't seen the Admiral lose his temper before...he was glad for that. Carth was a fair man, but when he got mad...he got mad.

"Carth, you don't understand-"

"Then explain to me why Fiona has locked herself up in the Ebon Hawk and refuses to come out."

"Is she ok? She's not hurt, is she?' Mical asked quietly.

"She's hurt alright. But not physically. Emotionally, perhaps." Carth leaned closer. "So I'm gonna ask you again, Mical, what did you do?"

"She thinks she...that she..."

"Well, spit it out, soldier!" Carth ordered.

"She thinks that she loves me." He said softly.

"So what's the problem? Obviously you love her too...so why don't you just..."

"That is the problem, Carth. I... don't love her." Yeah right, maybe if I keep telling myself that then maybe I'll start believing it.

"What? That is a total lie and even I can see that." Carth looked him in the eyes and it was like he was looking into Mical's heart. "You love her. Why did you tell her that you didn't?"

"It's...complicated." he said.

"No it isn't! You had a beautiful woman who loves you and you pushed her away! You're a bright man, Mical. But when it comes to love, you still have a lot to learn." Carth leaned back and sighed. "A lot."

"We're Jedi. Jedi aren't supposed to love, Carth. You know that as well as I do! It would never work." Mical explained.

"Revan was a Jedi and she loved me." Carth said simply.

"There's a difference."

"Let's hear it then." Carth said as he motioned with his hands to continue.

"Well, Revan...Fiona is...I am...it would never work, Carth!" Mical stammered.

"Ah-hah! There is no difference! But there must be a reason that you think like you do." Carth ran his fingers through his hair.

"The reason is Atton."

"Atton?" Carth rubbed his chin in thought briefly. "You mean Atton Rand?"

"Yes. Before Fiona left to find Revan, he was in love with her, he still is, but Fiona's feelings have changed," Mical began slowly," She doesn't love him anymore, she claims that she never truly did. That she has always loved me."

"So what's the problem?" Carth asked, obviously not following along.

"I accepted her loving him a long time ago. Atton won't be able to do that. It will kill him, Carth. The man will forever be broken. I can't explain it...it's like-"

"Living without breathing. Being burned but freezing at the same time. It is like being dead, without truly being physically dead." Carth said mostly to himself.

"And I can't do that to him. We aren't the best of friends...hell, I almost killed him on the Hawk." Carth looked at him curiously, "Don't ask. My point is, I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone. I know how it feels, but I've learned to live with it."

"Mical, I can't tell you what to do. All I can do is offer some advice." Mical looked at him expectantly. "By making her go with him you have hurt two people more then you can imagine."

"What? Who? I thought Atton would be happy-"

"I'm not talking about Atton! I'm talking about Fiona! She doesn't love him but you've doomed her to a life not worth living." Carth explained, frustrated.

"Well, who is the other person?" Mical asked, although he already knew the answer.

"You. You love her. And I know being with her is killing you, I see it in your eyes. I see it because I know it." he paused. "When Revan left...I thought it was because she didn't love me anymore. There was something in her eyes that I hand't ever seen before."

"What was it?"

"Pain, Mical. Pain that can't be healed by any amount of bacta or med pacs. Pain that she had been carrying for a long time. Pain and guilt." Carth leaned closer to Mical. "I see the same thing in your eyes as I do in mine every time I wake up and look in a mirror."

Mical looked down to the ground. Carth was right. He would never be able to live with himself if he let her get away like before. "What do I do?"

"You know what you have to do, Mical." Carth got up and began to head out the door.

"Hey, Carth." Carth turned around. "Thanks."

Carth merely nodded and left. Mical grabbed his lightsaber and hooked it onto his belt. He was going to make things right...

A/N: If you think this story is worth continuing then let me know and I will continue it! The next chapter will probably be rated M due to...well, you'll just have to wait and find out! Reviews equal faster updates and longer chapters asI said before...