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Guilt On The Side, Please

Jordan had learned from experience that when one's life goes in the right direction for too long, something is bound to go wrong to balance out the universe. She would have been fooling herself to think that going to Las Vegas wouldn't change anything back in Boston. She just didn't expect things to change quite so much. Or rather, she never thought that the people would change so much.

She felt like she was dead to Woody. Apparently, despite the fact that he was the first one to start having other relationships, Jordan turning to Danny was unforgivable. Woody's attitude was really starting to suck. He was being such a hypocrite, in her own opinion. After all, he had been dating that blonde psychiatrist pretty steadily. Maybe it was the mere fact that it was Danny, of all people. The two men had butted heads from the moment they met.

Jordan debated telling Danny of the encounter, or lack thereof. Of course, being the intuitive person that he was, Danny sensed that something was wrong from the moment she walked in the door. He prodded her until she wound up telling him what happened.

"He just walked right by you?" he asked, his brow drawn down in concern. "Not even a hello?"

"Nope," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I thought we were passed this, you know? I don't expect him to be my best friend, but…I just figured that we could at least be civil to each other."

"Jordan, the guy is being a complete asshole to you," Danny said, his defensive side surfacing. "Just let him ruin his own karma. It'll get back to him eventually."

"I think it already has," she said. Danny gave her a confused look. "You…he never liked you much to begin with, it must be killing him that I'm with you."

"Really?" he said, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Yes, really," Jordan smiled as he moved closer to her.

"Well, I think, given what he put you through, that he deserves a nice public viewing of what he lost," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her closer. Jordan bit her lip, doubting the wiseness of that idea.

"You're asking for trouble if you do that…you know that, don't you?" she warned him.

"Tell him to bring it, for all I care. I've got you, and I'm not letting you go," Danny said seriously, kissing her softly. When Jordan kept her mouth on his, he felt the control of his body slipping from his mind and transferring to other areas. Jordan smiled as she felt his hands slide under her blouse and reach for the hook on her bra.

"Danny, I have a meeting with Garret," she argued, though she was quickly starting to lose control herself.

"Mhmm," Danny muttered, not really caring about that at the moment. She rolled her eyes, amused.

"I have to leave in, like, five minutes," she tried again, honestly starting to regret that it was the truth.

"That's okay, I only need, like, two," he teased her.

"Oh thanks a lot," she laughed, giving him one last lingering kiss before regretfully backing out of his arms. The look that he had been giving her lately when she had to leave him was starting to make her breath catch in her throat. He looked as though he couldn't bear to let her out of his sight. Like she might not come back. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him that he would never have to worry about that…ever.

Walking into the morgue after over a month of being in Vegas felt like coming home, even more so than returning to her apartment. It was rather late in the day, so Jordan did not see the familiar faces of her friends, as they had probably gone home for the day. Thinking that she would most likely see them tomorrow, she wandered over to Garret's office. His door was open, and she opened her mouth to call out a greeting when she saw something that made her stop in the doorframe. Garret had not seen her approach, and she managed to catch him resealing the cap on an alcohol bottle before placing it back in the bottom drawer. Jordan blinked in uncertainty and watched him raise the coffee mug to his lips for a drink.

"What's the matter, didn't the rest of the staff think it was a good idea to just add it to the whole pot of coffee?" she asked flippantly. To her surprise, Garret spun around in his chair calmly and regarded her critically. Had he known she was watching him?

"The last thing I need right now is one more person babysitting me, so I'll thank you to leave your opinions outside," he said gruffly, though she could tell he wasn't really mad. Jordan walked over to his desk and propped herself on the edge of it.

"Just looking out for you," she said.

"It's no stronger than what I usually have at the end of the day," Garret argued. "You've been known to join me from time to time, too, in case you've forgotten."

"Your usual is usually in a glass with ice," Jordan stared him down. "Not hidden in a mug with coffee."

Garret returned her stare in silence. She grew uncomfortable under his gaze, feeling out of place in the office for the first time. It hadn't occurred to her that her return would be so incredibly awkward. Apparently, her decision had been received less kindly than she had thought.

"So how long are you here for?" Garret asked finally.

"Uh, I'm not sure," Jordan replied, sliding off the desk and standing instead, her arms crossed over her chest. "I don't really know what's happening right now…with me living here and Danny being in Vegas. A week, maybe two. I really don't know."

"So you two are pretty serious, then?" he inquired casually. Jordan bit her lip, thinking for a moment before answering.

"We don't want to rush into anything," she said. "We certainly don't have any plans for serious changes any time soon…like moving. I gotta tell you, though, there are major benefits to practically living in a casino," she joked.

"Don't tell me you have a gambling addiction," Garret said. Jordan smiled in relief, glad to have finally broken through his shell.

"No, not quite yet," she said. "More like an addiction to room service and free tickets to shows."

"Anything good?"

"This musical from Broadway is there for a while. Avenue Q. It's done with puppets, like Sesame Street, but definitely for adults," she explained, then stopped at the look on his face.

"Puppets?" he raised an eyebrow at her. She shook her head a little.

"You have to see it, I guess," she said with a smile.

"Sounds like you're having a good time," Garret said, looking for the first time as though he were happy for her.

"I am," she said. After a few moments silence, she asked, "How are you doing?"

"Fine," he said firmly. Jordan raised her eyebrows a little.

"Really," she said doubtfully.

"Really," he repeated with a pointed look, standing up and walking over to grab a day planner off of a shelf. "So I assume you're going to want to work while you're here."

"Uh, only if it's convenient," she said slowly, her mind still focused on his abrupt insistence at being fine.

"Sure, why wouldn't it be?" he asked absently, flipping open the day planner to write something down. Jordan stared at him for a moment.

"Garret, are you sure you're okay?" she asked once more.

"I'm fine, Jordan, stop worrying," he told her.

"Okay," she said defensively. "Forget I asked."

Tossing the day planner onto the desk, he let out a small, frustrated sigh. Jordan was starting to feel guilty for having left Boston in the first place. And a small part of her hated that he was making her feel guilty. This was the first time in a long time that she was content with her personal life, and it hurt that she couldn't ask for that contentment to coincide with her work life. She loved Danny, and she knew that the relationship would cause her to sacrifice a lot of her life in Boston. She didn't expect people to resent her for it, though.

"Garret…" she started.

"Can we not do this now, Jordan? I just really don't feel like it," Garret cut her off. When she looked at him, hurt, he walked over and placed his hands on her arms. "It's good to have you back. Don't think I'm not happy that you're here. I just…I don't want to be put under the microscope tonight. Okay?"

"Sure, Garret," she conceded quietly. He saw right through her, knowing that she wasn't letting this go easily.

Jordan thought hard about the meeting as she drove home. Mostly, she thought about how close of a bond she and Garret used to share. There had been no hints that the relationship was slipping away during the time she was in Vegas, or that anything was truly wrong. Nothing had really even happened tonight to prove those things, either. She just had a feeling that this was going to be a lot more difficult than she had planned. Guilt still twinged in her heart, especially when she thought of what Garret had told her after she had saved those boys from the mine shaft, saying that he didn't know what he would do if anything happened to her.

Where was the line between risking her life, potentially causing them a huge amount of grief, and walking away from them of her own free will for a life with the man she loved? Losing Woody completely, while shocking, was at least understandable. But could she do that to the people who still loved her?