Now I Really Don't Stand a Chance
By LushBaby
Pairing: Lily/Matt Seely
Summary: Matt finds out he's not he only one in love with Lily.
A/N: Takes place following the events of Locard's Exchange.
Matt waited a week before succumbing to his desire to at least see Lily, if not to talk with her, always providing he kept his size 12s out of his mouth and not offend her again. He had to pick up so evidence at the morgue and timed his visit to coincide with Lily's usual leaving time. But her office was dark and Matt continued down towards the evidence where he ran into Jordan Cavanaugh.
"Hey Seely. You just missed Lily. She's busy getting everything ready for her mom's funeral. That brother of hers is next to useless."
"Yeah, I kind of got that impression. So, how's she doing?"
"She's coping. I guess that's all we can expect.
"Yeah. Uh, listen, can I ask you something? When I first met Lily's mom, she said something about Lily and Macy dating?" Matt knew his heart must be on his sleeve and he could only hope that Dr. Cavanaugh wouldn't pick up on it. He knew how much she loved to wind people up.
"Yeah, that was before your time, but they did date for a while, then Garret tried to reconcile with his ex-wife, and Bug started making eyes at her. That was of course, after Nigel and she were engaged." Matt glanced sharply at her, but could detect no trace of levity, sarcasm, or exaggeration. Shit, was everyone in the morgue in love with Lily? Jeez, he thought he hadn't much of a chance before, now knowing that at least three men—three intelligent, successful doctor-types were his competition—well, that just cemented his place at the bottom of the when-hell-freezes-over-last-man-on-earth-scrapping-the-bottom-of-the-barrel list.
Before he could respond, Garret Macy walked into the room. His eyes narrowed as he saw Seely leaning casually against Lily's desk.
"Seely, don't you have anything better to do than hang around here?"
Matt held up a placatory hand. "Hey, just going. I stopped by to see when the funeral was."
"Are you referring to Mrs. Lembowski's service? God, Seely, that's crude even for you, sniffing around Lily at her mother's funeral. You are by far the most tactless and insensitive man I've ever met." Ignoring Jordan's shocked 'Garret!' he continued, "and I really don't think that Lily wants you there.
Matt stood frozen to the spot for a moment, before turning towards Jordan. "Don't worry about it, doc. He didn't say anything I haven't already told myself at least once. I'll see you around." He picked up the evidence box next to him and headed towards the elevator, his steps echoing in the quiet hallway. Jordan turned to Garret.
"I can't believe you said that to him." She was staring at Garret open-mouthed.
"What? Come on, you don't even like him. He's--"
"Yeah, in the past I haven't exactly thought he was Albert Schweitzer, but he's certainly improved over the last year. And for your information, he was here collecting evidence of the double homicide off Newberry Street. And where do you get off telling him what Lily wants or doesn't want? I don't know what kind of a relationship you're looking for with Lily, but you did not have the right to do what you just did.
"No? I care for Lily. Seely's a jerk and she can do so much better than a Neanderthal like Seely."
"Yeah? Maybe with you? You had your chance. You men are such territorial animals. You think women are here just—you know what? Forget it. I'm going to try and catch up with Seely and talk with him. Right now, he's the class act and you're the jerk." Jordan finished her rant and sprinted down the hallway towards the stairs, hoping to catch Seely before the street. But when she reached the lobby he was nowhere to be seen and both the parking garage and the street outside also drew a blank.
The day of the funeral was sunny and mild, just like the day Arlene Lembowski died. Afterwards, Lily stayed by the grave site, accepting the departing guests' well wishes. She had arrange to go home with her aunt and her family for the night and Jordan, Garret, Nigel, Bug, and close to half the office filed past her, squeezing her hand, kissing her cheek, or just pulling her close for a hug. Lily was past the tears now. Her mother was gone, but she still had so much, so many people to care for and who cared for her. A few of the homicide detectives came as well, Woody in the forefront, flanked by Framus and Carver. Lily looked for Matt but couldn't see him. When Woody was saying his goodbyes, she couldn't help asking.
"Was Matt here? Did he get a call and have to leave?"
Woody looked uncomfortable for a moment. "Yeah, I think so. His cell would have been on vibrate so I didn't hear it." And none of that is a lie, he thought. At least, not exactly. Truthfully, he didn't know why Matt had refused to come. Something about hating funerals, but come on, everyone did. But you stepped up and went, hopefully said the right things, and prayed that when you went, somebody would be there for you.
A week after the funeral Lily was preparing to leave for the day in her office when a large arrangement of flowers appeared in her doorway, the giver obscured by multicolored conglomerate of roses, azaleas, marigolds and one white lily.
"What the--"
"Delivery for Miss Lembowski."
"Jordan, is that you?" Lily asked as she guided the sightless person into the room and helped her place the heavy vase on her desk. "Really, you shouldn't have."
"Really, I didn't. They just arrived and I thought you might want to see them before you left. There's a card," she said hopefully.
Lily reached into the arrangement to pluck the small white envelope from its holder. She was unfamiliar with the handwriting. Carefully she slit the flap and pulled out the heavy, quality black-edged card. She read aloud as Jordan examined the bouquet.
Lily, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could somehow erase all your pain and sorrow. I would do anything to ease your burden, but there is nothing I can do except hope that someday soon you will be ready to smile and tackle the world again. You make my world a better place just by being in it.
"It's unsigned. Who would send me an unsigned condolence card? A beautifully eloquent condolence card?" Lily looked at the arrangement closer. "And this has to be the strangest mixture of flowers I have ever seen. Creamy white roses, dark red roses, azaleas, purple hyacinths, yellow tulips.
"Well, whoever it was certainly did their homework."
"Huh?"
The flowers—you know, the language of flowers? My mom taught me when I was a kid. Every flower has a meaning, sometimes more than one. Sometimes the color of the flower changes its meaning. Sometimes, they're even dead. A withered or wilted bunch of flowers means rejected love. Well, every thing here must mean something.
"What? Which ones?"
"Okay, let me think a minute. The white lily—that's easy—it symbolizes you and it means purity. The dark crimson roses are for mourning, the white innocence, the fern indicates sincerity. I can't remember what the cyclamen means and I would have to look up the purple hyacinth and the yellow tulips.
"Wow. Well, I'm going to have to leave it here for now. My apartment is still airing out after all the other arrangements. I didn't want to leave the flowers at the funeral home—not when everyone took the trouble to send them. My place looked like a florist, except not as cheerful. Listen, I'm taking off now okay? I'll see you tomorrow." Jordan gave her a hug and made a mental note to surf the web later for the meanings she had missed.
When Lily came in the next day she noticed that someone had tended to the flowers. The water was fresh and the vase had been positioned in a corner of her desk where it no longer blocked her monitor and keypad. Taped to the monitor was an envelope with her name on it written in Jordan's characteristic scrawl. Lily put away her things and sat down to read the message.
Lily, I checked up on the flowers I couldn't remember. The purple hyacinth means sorrow or please forgive me; but now it gets weird. White roses do mean innocence but they can also mean eternal love and if they're thornless, and yours are, I checked, it means love at first sight; The azaleas mean take care of yourself for me; the yellow tulips represent a hopeless love and the cyclamen means resignation and goodbye. So have you lost a secret lover somewhere? Do you have a stalker? Should we be worried? Come see me! J.
Lily reread the note, and then she reread the condolence card. The one name that popped into her head was Garret, but it didn't fit. Please forgive me? Love at first sight? And goodbye? Suddenly, she knew. It had to be Matt. She just knew it, although she never would have thought him this eloquent or thoughtful. But he had been getting better in the last few months; helping her with the Angel-of Death Owen Stanwood, finding Kenar's aunt and reuniting Flora with her parents. Lily frowned, realizing that the last time she had seen Matt it was at the hospital. He had tracked down the woman who hit her mom and all she did was snipe at him. She hadn't seen him at the funeral, but she thought she had somehow known he was there, albeit briefly. But since then?
Lily went out to the front desk and checked the visitor's log book. She must have just missed him somehow. Maybe he was working nights. A quick scan of the pages revealed no Matt Seely listed since a night three weeks back.
Lily went back and collected her purse. If Mohammed wouldn't come to the mountain, well, she damn well go to him. Twenty minutes later, she was poking her head around the door of the homicide department at the 29th precinct.
She stopped a harassed-looking plain-clothes detective. "Excuse me. I'm looking for Detective Matt Seely."
"Oh, sorry, you've missed him. Detective Jackson is handling all his cases now. Hey, Jackson, a lady for Seely."
"Yes? What case is it in reference to?" The tall black woman put down her pen and reached for a formidable stack of manila folders.
"Um, no case. I'm Lily Lembowski. He and I—um, he and I work together a lot and I haven't seen him recently."
"Oh. Right." The Jamaican detective looked uncomfortable. "I'm sorry they didn't tell you at reception, but Detective Seely no longer works out of this precinct."
Lily just stared at her for a long moment, trying to process the words. Matt transferred? Why hadn't he told anyone?
"When did this happen? Why?"
"A couple of weeks ago."
"What happened?" Detective Jackson looked uncomfortable.
"Listen, Seely was a good cop, but he could hardly stay in homicide once he'd become persona non grata at the city morgue. Kinda hard to do your job--"
"What do you mean, persona non grata?" Lily's voice hardened. She had a good idea what the detective meant.
"I don't know any more than that. Somebody made a complaint, and Seely got transferred outta here.
"Fine. Where?"
The 'burbs. The 4-7 in Charlestown, I think. They didn't have an opening in Homicide so he's waiting it out in Burglary."
Lily thanked Detective Jackson and stumbled out of the police station, stunned by the turn of events. She remembered Matt's words to her at the hospital, "I'm a homicide detective," he'd said, emphasizing the word homicide. He was so proud of his accomplishments. And now he was pushed aside, dumped in the suburbs in Burglary and all because of her—no, wait. Not her. Garret.
She hesitated outside the precinct, her desire to find Matt warring with her red-hot rage towards Garret Macy. She finally decided to find Matt and hold off on talking—scratch that, screaming at her interfering boss. Lily knew that in her current frame of mind she just might do something drastic, like quit and she loved her job too much to let Garret's meddling ruin everything. Besides, if she could see Matt—let him know that she cared, see if—God, she didn't know what she was going to do, but Lily knew she had to find Matt.