ok final (i think) chapter for homecoming. sorry this has been so slow in coming. thanks for the reviews and look out for the next part 'disclosure'...you didn't think i'd let them settle back into 'normality' did you?
and the song mentioned is 'hear you me' by jimmy eat world
The rain had been falling in an endless sheet for two days. Gordon had stood by the window of the lounge, gazing with longing at the pool below.
"Why don't we have an indoor pool?" he asked as his father entered the room, smiling at the sight of his cheekiest son, hands placed against the window. He didn't reply and Gordon sighed, his shoulders slumping.
"This weather is crap though," Alan muttered from where he lay on the couch, mindlessly flicking through the channels on the television.
"Language Alan," Jeff said, looking over the headlines in the paper and sipping on his coffee.
"I'm so bored!" Gordon suddenly exclaimed, turning to his brother and father furiously.
"Gordon…go and annoy Scott and Virgil…actually, go and find them. I haven't seen them this morning and after what has happened, I don't want them moping." Gordon saluted and grabbed Alan pulling him from the room. They found Scott in the games room, staring out at the rain in much the same fashion as Gordon had been.
"You're thinking indoor pool, right?" Gordon asked him after Scott had acknowledged his brother's with a small smile.
"No…I'm thinking why is Virgil sitting out there in the rain?" Alan and Gordon followed Scott's finger and sure enough saw Virgil, his arms wrapped around his knees, which he'd pulled up to his chest sitting beside the pool. The rain dripped off the strands of his hair, matted and soaked.
"I bet he's wishing we had an indoor pool to contemplate beside…" Gordon muttered. Scott ignored his brother's comment and opened the door, the damp warmth filling the room.
"Well, I guess I better go see what's wrong," Scott sighed. Alan and Gordon nodded solemnly as Scott stepped into the rain, closing the door behind him. Scott saw his brother's crumpled form, heard his stifled cries. Scott gripped the railings tightly as Virgil slowly wiped his face before he looked to where Scott stood. Scott remained motionless, his eyes resting calmly on Virgil's face, telling him he was there, he was waiting for Virgil to talk. The tears that glimmered in the light, lay untouched on Virgil's face as he looked back at his brother. He cleared his throat and blinked to clear his eyes.
"I nearly lost you…" he said, his voice barely a whisper. Scott nodded understandingly as Virgil's face fell, the pain he was feeling taking over.
"I kept thinking…I couldn't do it Scott. I couldn't lose Mom, Caitlin and you…I'd rather anything than that. But it nearly happened and now I can't…I can't think of anything else Scott, I'm never going to be able to accept any loss…" Virgil broke off, sobs bursting from within him and Scott held out his hand.
"Wait there…I'm coming…" Scott ran to Virgil, enveloped his arms around him and held him close, repeating a scene so often seen after the death of their mother.
"Scotty…" Virgil whispered shakily, a name he hadn't used since they were both young. Scott placed his cheek against the top of his brother's head and bit his lip. He would not cry, it wouldn't help Virgil, he told himself.
"Too late Scott…you're making my hair even more wet," he heard Virgil sniff from underneath him. Scott laughed through his tears.
"How did you know what I was thinking?"
"It was too obvious," Virgil replied with a soft laugh. It was the first time Scott had heard his brother laugh since he had come home and his eyes filled with even more tears.
"Virgil…you saved my life yesterday. Your grief and sadness and unwillingness to lose me, well it saved my life. You've always been there Virgil, always and I want to do the same for you, I want you to talk to me, to cry on my shoulder to get drunk with me…just like you've always done for me. Now you see why I missed you so much when you left…" Neither of them spoke for a long time before Virgil swallowed nervously and Scott felt him shift in his arms.
"Scott…I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ran out on you…I'm sorry I left without saying anything to you…I'm so sorry I made you hate me…"
"Hate you?" Scott asked, holding Virgil back at arms length. "I didn't hate you Virg…how could I? I was pissed at first…but I know now why you did and hell, if I'd had a girl like Caitlin snuggling next to me every night, I think I'd have found it hard to come back too."
"Yeah…she really had a hold on me…sounds like a song…" Virgil trailed off miserably. Scott felt him tremble in his arms as another onslaught of tears began and pulled him closer. Virgil closed his eyes and placed his forehead against Scott's bulky shoulder, the soft fabric of his jumper somehow quite comforting.
"I don't want to let you go," Scott confessed. Virgil let his breath out softly, it brushed the side of Scott's neck.
"Then don't," Virgil pleaded.
He gingerly placed the tips of his fingers down on the piano keys and let his fingers adjust to the chill of the ivory before pressing down gently. The soft chord that emitted filled the dark room.
"May angels lead you in…" he began to whisper softly, fragments of a song Caitlin had loved slowly becoming clearer in his mind. He pressed down on the keys once more, releasing the same chord.
"May angels lead you in…hear you me my friend…" he continued, slowly picking out the chords.
"On sleepless roads the sleepless go…may angels lead you in…" he paused, the chord hanging stagnant in the air for a moment until the room became quiet and still once more. Eyes glistening in the soft light of the room, he began to play again, slightly louder and with more fluidity.
"That song always made you cry," he said to the empty darkness beside him, where she would have been in another time. He continued quietly, murmuring the words under his breath as each chord faded.
"And if you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time. A song for a heart so big, God wouldn't let it live…" he continued, before stopping abruptly as he heard footsteps in the hallway and saw three silhouettes huddled in the doorway. Virgil half-smiled and lifted his hands from the keys, resting them in his lap.
"Sorry sweetheart," he whispered. "Hope you enjoyed it though..." He looked upwards, out of habit more than anything else, the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile.
"Virgil?" He lowered his eyes as his three brothers cautiously approached him.
"Sorry, did I wake you guys?" Virgil asked.
"Nah," Gordon replied. "That's the first time you've played since you've been back." Alan nodded and Virgil looked at the piano.
"Oh yeah…I guess I just felt the need really."
"It was a beautiful song Virg…the words…well, they're about Caitlin right?" Scott said and Virgil nodded.
"She really liked the song. I felt that maybe I should have a bash at it. It's been a year and I know I can keep going…" He was cut off my three brothers grabbing hold of him, hugging him and laughing.
"Guys get off!" Virgil cried as they tumbled to the floor, a mass of legs and arms tangled in a heap.
"What would you say to a spot of whisky right about now?" Alan's voice came, muffled from below Scott.
"I always say yes," Scott laughed, as they untangled themselves and sprawled on the couch as Alan poured the whisky into the glasses.
"We should make a toast," Gordon said. "To…to brothers." The four glasses were raised and the whisky knocked back.
"How about to late night whisky drinking," Alan suggested to which the brothers nodded enthusiastically and drank more.
"To things starting to look up," Virgil said, nodding to his brothers. Scott looked at his younger brothers and smiled, the look unnoticed by the others in the room.
"Let's get John up for this…" he said, finding the switch to connect them to their brother in space. His portrait came to life, John appeared, bleary eyes, fuzzy haired and yawning.
"John, get some whisky, we have an important toast to make," Scott ordered. Without a complaint, John rummaged through his supply cupboard before finding a bottle and a small tumbler.
"Ok shoot," he muttered, pouring a fair quantity into his glass. Scott looked around each of his family members before clearing his throat.
"To Virgil, it's good to have you back." Virgil looked at Scott, a smile creeping onto his face as slowly the other three nodded and knocked back the whisky. Virgil tipped his glass in Scott's direction, a gesture of thanks.
"It's really good to be back."
"I feel bad. I know they can't handle their drink, but yet I encourage it," Scott whispered to Virgil as they looked upon the two snoring younger brothers on the couch.
"Maybe we should take advantage of this," Virgil said, reaching into the desk drawer and pulling out a marker pen.
"Oh you're good," Scott said, grabbing hold of one and kneeling in front of Alan, pen poised. Virgil took up the same position in front of Gordon and with a nod, began working. Virgil was the first to finish, an elaborate moustache drawn along with a small triangular beard. Scott glanced at it and snorted, trying to hold back his laughter. Alan stirred in his drunken slumber, mumbling softly. Scott waited a moment before continuing to draw, the whiskers across Alan's face proving of some hilarity to the elder brothers. Having satisfied themselves, they made their way to the kitchen, Scott digging through the cupboards until the fresh batch of cookies, supposedly well hidden, had in fact been found.
"I don't say this enough Scott…but, you're awesome…you can find stuff, you can fly like a…like a demon…you are totally in control all the time…you are like the best brother, a brother could have…" Virgil smiled sleepily and Scott sat down, placing a large double chocolate cookie in front of him.
"You're not so bad yourself…I mean, you have your moments…" Scott laughed. Virgil chewed on his cookie thoughtfully.
"You think this is everything sorted now?" he asked, spraying crumbs across the table in front of them. Scott was oblivious, more caught up in studying the intricate patterns on the kitchen worktop.
"Nothing is ever sorted in this family…" he muttered, peering at a slice of mica before tilting his head.
"Whoa…this is amazing…it changes colour…Virgil, you see this?" Virgil stumbled over to his brother, but stopped, his eyes resting on a box resting in the corner of the worktop, a fruit bowl discreetly placed in front of it, hiding it from their attention. It could only be something amazing if their Grandma had decided to use the fruit bowl to hide it, no Tracy brother would be seen dead near that.
"Oh…I've found something even better…" Scott tore himself away from his momentary enjoyment of the worktop geology to gaze at the box as Virgil eased the lid off and let it clatter to the ground.
"I knew she made chocolate cake for my birthday," Scott said, digging his finger in and scooping up a mouthful of the icing.
"Scott…maybe we shouldn't…" But Scott had already cut himself a generous slice and was tearing his way through the soft, moist sponge, creamy chocolate filling and sticky icing.
"S'my cake," he said, his voice muffled by the amount of cake he was eating. Virgil shrugged before taking a slice for himself and settling down beside Scott on the kitchen floor.
"Good cake," he said. Scott nodded, licking his fingers.
"I think this is us as sorted as we're going to get," Scott said after a while, leaning back on the cupboard door.
"I like it…if this is sorted, I hope we can stay like this…"
"Nah, this is drunk, but maybe…after the hangover, it'll be like this…"
"Only not as blurry," Virgil put in.
"Exactly…" Scott trailed off. "You even think you're sorted?" Virgil brushed chocolaty crumbs from his chin and nodded.
"I know that I won't ever be the same…but I've learned to cope with it, to accept the loss, but…to get a bit spiritual on you, look forward to seeing her…again…"
"That's really something…you don't know how happy I am to hear you say that…"
"Just don't go getting yourself stuck anywhere Scotty and I'll be fine," Virgil said, looking around the kitchen.
"I think I'm sobering up a bit…what time is it?"
"It's about two. Still early really."
"Yeah…"
"We could have more whisky…a nightcap say?"
"Or I could teach you the delights of late night tea drinking…?"
"Just because I love you doesn't mean you can force that sort of torture on me," Scott scoffed and Virgil mock scowled at him.
"Nightcap it is then."