We once more gaze upon the familiar sight of Tokyo-3, where, contrary to the heat of its eternal summer, it is in the waning days of autumn. Today would be known as Thanksgiving in the United States of America. But that is not a holiday celebrated in Japan. However, that did not stop today's rude guest from barging in to ruin the day.
A giant scarlet eight-winged turkey with two heads descends upon the poor city of Tokyo-3, gazing upon it with disdain.
"Foolish Lilim, I have come to claim revenge for the turkeys you have slaughtered to sate your gluttonous maws. Beg and scrap like the germs you are, but your end has come. I am Turkeal, Angel of Turkeys. And this Thanksgiving will be your last!" Turkeal begins gobbling maliciously.
NERV command center
"And that-" Ritsuko pauses the frame on the Turkey Angel. "-is what we're up against. Any questions?" Many hands went up. "No, I don't know if it's edible. I wouldn't allow anyone to eat it anyway." Most of the hands went down. "Yes, Asuka?"
"It has the ability to talk? Like, in words we can understand?" Asuka questions incredulously.
"Somehow, yes. It has so far only used this ability to threaten us. Yes, Kotone?"
"Turkeal, Angel of Turkeys? Really? All of the other Angels have had real names, why does this one have a fake as hell name?" Kotone pauses as she grimaces. "Wait, we're in a non-canon holiday special again, aren't we?"
"Probably." Ritsuko answers as she wordlessly lights a cigarette as everyone in the room groans.
"Dammit, does that mean my apartment is still burned down from the Halloween special?" Misato griped, hoping she wasn't living in a cardboard box like Shinji probably did after the Hobo ending in the First Impressions game.
"No, it's there. I checked." Shinji assures Misato before his brow furrows. "Wait, there's an ending where I become a hobo in the First Impressions game?" Shinji questions as he rereads that part of the text again.
"Anta Baka?" Leader also questions that piece of real Evangelion lore from a game where there is a shipping scene between Hikari and Shinji. "Baka?!" Leader exclaims at the narration as-
"Will the narrator please stop distracting everyone with strange extracanonical lore before they are removed, permanently." Gendo intones coldly. "Thank you. You may continue Doctor Akagi."
"Right, any more questions?" Shinji raises his hand. "Yes, Shinji?"
"Will this take long? I….. have plans." Everyone turned to look at Shinji with curious looks save Shiki, who was lounging on top of Shinji's head.
"Plans Third? What, do you have a hot date?" Asuka mocked derisively, a small part of her urging violence if the response was yes.
"No." Shinji quickly responds, Asuka feeling a bit of relief. Not that she would ever admit that. "I just have something to do."
"Yes I'm sure that's ominous and foreshadowing something but could we get this started already?!" Turkeal demands through the camera feed. "I have to get to my job at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade so I would appreciate it if we could speed this up."
"Sorry…." Shinji apologizes to the Angel as the pilots are sent to their Evas.
"But I had a question…" Rei complained, but unfortunately, her question would remain unanswered.
The Evas rocket up to the surface to meet their poultry-based foe, the fate of all Thanksgiving on the line. Also the world I guess, but this isn't the 'World Day Minisuka Holiday Special', is it? Is World Day an actual holiday? Not sure, I'll check later.
"So you arrive Lilim! But you will not be able to defeat me!" Turkeal gobbles at them humorously.
"Seriously, what is up with your design?" Asuka critiques. "It's terrible and unoriginal. I mean a giant two-headed turkey with eight wings as an Angel? Surely you could have done something better?"
"Oh I'm sorry little miss perfect, would you rather I be like a biblically accurate angel like that guy over there?" Turkeal points to an entity off in the corner of Tokyo-3 that consists of a blue dodecahedron emblazoned with flaming eyes crying tears of blood and surrounded by seven golden rings with human arms that have swan wings for fingers sprouting forth.
"Be NoT aFrAiD." The biblically accurate angel whispers in an ancient tongue unheard by man for eons.
"…. Okay, fair." Asuka admits as she returns her attention to Turkeal.
"Has… has that always been there?" Kotone questions, unable to take her eyes off the eldritch seraphim.
"Anta Baka?" Leader also questions, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
"That is just ๔ภŦՇђ๔кﻮђรкןคŦคкςภŦкรภย๔. They are here to see the latest Marvel movie." Rei explains, her tongue effortlessly producing syllables of a language man was not meant to know. "We occasionally go to poetry slams together." Rei waves at the entity, which waves back with it's uncountable arms.
"That raises more questions than it answers!" Kotone shouts in confusion.
"What questions does it produce? Everything was quite clear." Rei tilts her head as she ponders what could be confusing her fellow pilot.
"For one-"
"Kotone, Ayanami?" Shinji pipes up. "We're kinda in the middle of a battle." The two of them turn to look at Shinji, who is restraining Turkeal as Asuka beats the everloving crap out of it with her Eva's fists.
"Right, sorry Shinji." Kotone apologizes as she and Rei go to join in the smackdown. After fifteen minutes of an old-school bare-knuckled beatdown, and a finishing suplex from Asuka, the battle was won.
"I wonder if I can get a picture of that suplex for my Christmas card?" Aoba mused.
"Oh gods, there's going to be a Christmas special isn't there?" Makoto lamented. "What, are we going to have to fight Krampus?"
"Maybe?" Maya shrugged. "Say, didn't you learn something important from that Enigma guy last Special?"
"You're right!" Makoto leaped out of his chair and prepared to shout the loudest he's ever shouted before. "Everyone! The secret-" Unfortunately his shout was cut off as the scene transitioned and he was erased from existence.
"Honestly I'm surprised how easy it was." Kotone admitted as the four Pilots and Misato walked up to the Katsuragi apartment. "By the way, whatcha doing here Rei?"
"The shockwave from the suplex collapsed my apartment. I currently have nowhere to live."
"Sorry First….." Asuka muttered guiltily.
"It is alright. My complex has not been up to code for half a decade, so it was bound to collapse sooner or later. I am surprised it did not happen sooner if I am being honest. My possessions are being recovered as we speak and I will have a new home soon."
"Well, here's hoping you can get a decent apartment this time." Misato grumbled. "In the meantime, you're welcome to stay at Casa del Katsuragi for as long as you need. Hope you don't mind sleeping on the couch."
""We have a couch?"" Shinji and Asuka questioned at the same time, the mysterious nature of the Katsuragi household's Schrodinger's couch causing yet more confusion.
"Well-" Misato meant to answer but was distracted by the sudden smell of cooked food as she opened her apartment door. "Food?" All of them rushed inside to find the kitchen was occupied by a horde of Minisukas cooking an authentic Thanksgiving dinner.
"S-surprise!" Shinji exclaimed as they all looked at him. "I had the Minisukas help me make a Thanksgiving dinner to show how thankful I am to all of you." Shinji rubbed his arm nervously.
"Awwwww, Shinji!" Misato gave her young ward a bone-crushing hug. "That's really sweet of you! I'm thankful you're such a sweet and thoughtful boy!" Kotone meant to join in on the hug but a chill down her spine stopped her in her tracks, Asuka giving her a look.
"Y-yeah, thanks a bunch Shinji." Kotone tried to hide her cold sweat by distracting the territorial redhead. "Isn't this pretty neat Asuka?" Asuka toned down her bloodlust as she pondered how to respond.
"Yeah, it is. You're welcome, Shinji." Asuka preened at Shinji's gratitude, trying to hide the slight blush on her face. But she couldn't hide the warmth in her heart. "Thanks for the dinner I guess."
"You're welcome Asuka, hopefully, it's as good as the Thanksgivings you used to have." Shinji mentioned as he escaped from Misato's death grip. Asuka gave him an odd look.
"Shinji, I've never celebrated Thanksgiving before?" Shinji blinked, confusion evident on his face.
"But, aren't you American?" He looked to the Minisukas who were his partners in crime but Leader, Shiki, and the rest of the Minisukas avoided his questioning gaze as if they forgot some important detail and were just now being questioned on it.
"Technically yes, but I've only visited once or twice. I've been living in Germany most of my life. Thanksgiving isn't celebrated there. But I appreciate the gesture?" Asuka half-questioned as she was unsure how to accurately respond. An awkward silence enveloped the room as everyone tried to not make eye contact with anyone else.
"So….." Shinji began, trying to get things back on track. "Food?" Shinji offered, to various murmurs of agreement as everyone began to eat.
"Wait…." Rei spoke up for the first time since arriving. "Did Pilot Ikari plan for the Angel attack?" Unfortunately, Rei's question would remain unanswered.
"Are you coming Ayanami? There's tofurkey!" Rei shrugged and went to eat her dinner. Perhaps some questions were best left unanswered.
And so did they all have a merry feast, engorging themselves on festive foodstuffs and watching terrible holiday-themed movies poorly dubbed into Japanese because I doubt there is a decent market for Thanksgiving-themed foreign media in Japan. The Minisukas joined in on charades as Kotone snuck a beer from Misato's stash. For all involved, it was the best (and only) Thanksgiving they've ever had.
"Wark!"
"Hmm?" Shinji turned to look at the source of the familiar squawk. "What's up Pen-Pen?" Pen-Pen was devouring a drumstick as he motioned for the remote. "Oh, sure. Here you go." Asuka stared at the penguin with horrified bewilderment.
"Wait, is a penguin eating turkey some kind of pseudo-cannibalism?" Pen-Pen gave her a knowing grin as he turned the channel to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, where a familiar Angel was being used as a parade balloon.
"Look, in this economy, you have to take what you can get for work." Turkeal explained through the screen as he was paraded around Manhattan as Asuka ranted about whether Pen-Pen was mocking her. Ending a memorable Thanksgiving day.
So here we have another holiday special, but this time for Thanksgiving. To get this out of the way, yes I realize there are non-American countries that celebrate Thanksgiving or an equivalent, I just choose to ignore those for the sake of comedy. And yes, everything mentioned about First Impressions is true. Anywho, hope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and have a pleasant Thanksgiving.