Chapter Sixteen
Finally they broke the hug and Kolby James looked at his mother. She noticed his eyes were swollen and red, and he had smeared tracks on his face. There was something profoundly different about him and she noticed the unguarded emotion in his eyes. Then it was gone. She stared at him a moment and he felt her gaze. He shifted his eyes away, and then looked back over his shoulder at Mac's room. She took a deep breath and squatted in front of the other three.
"You need to stay in the hallway a moment, Mommy needs to say goodbye to someone then we'll go home." Mady said.
"Go on in, I'll keep an eye on them," Stella said. Kolby James stepped around his mother and stood by his siblings. They huddled around him. Mady took one last look at her children then went into Mac's room. He was awake and she was grateful for that. She didn't want to leave him without saying something to him.
She walked up to his side and he followed her every movement. A small smile played on his lips as she came next to him. He reached out with his good hand and she took it and wrapped her own around it. He wet his lips.
"Everything ok?" he asked.
"Yes, they are all fine," she said. She felt the tears coming to her eyes. She didn't want to leave, but this was a time she needed to be with her children. She just wished Mac wasn't confined to the hospital bed and could be with her.
"I know," Mac whispered. "Go, take them home, and get them settled. I'll be fine."
Mady nodded. The tears held steady in her eyes. She bent down to him and kissed him gently on the lips. He smiled when she pulled away. She let go of his hand and turned from him. She went back into the hallway. She looked back over her shoulder once then focused all her attention on her children. Stella helped her get them out and into the police car that would take them home. Mady was about to get in the car when Stella stopped her.
"Don't forget about him," Stella said to her. Mady looked up at the hospital building and nodded. A smile tugged at her lips.
"I don't think I could," she said looking back at Stella. Stella nodded and Mady got in the car. Stella watched as the car drove off and then she went back into the hospital, up to Mac's room. She found him staring at the ceiling with a glazed look in his eyes. She sat down in the chair next to his bed; his gaze shifted to her and then seemed to clear.
"How are you doing?" she asked the strain evident in her voice. Mac watched her and sighed. He could tell she was extremely worried about him.
"Been better, that's for sure," he said. He looked at his shoulder and tried to flex his right hand. He winced at the pain the movement caused.
"It's going to take time, Mac," Stella said putting a hand on his good arm. He looked at her and smiled. He knew that. He also knew he would undergo surgery and physical therapy before this was done. He also knew there was double meaning to her statement.
"I know," he said.
Stella nodded then said her goodbyes for the night. Mac nodded and then for the first time since he was brought into the hospital he was alone. He looked around the room and shook his head, he hated being stuck, contained, demobilized.
He felt more fatigue overtaking him and he groaned. He was tired of being tired. But in the end sleep overcame and he drifted off once again into the darkness of slumber. He dreamed of Mady that night, and Kolby James. He dreamed of a life longed for. He dreamed of happiness.
Two days later Mac went in for his MRI. He needed surgery, big surprise. He went under the knife a day later where the doctor repaired the muscle group in his shoulder. When he woke up his shoulder was in more pain than before.
He was released from the hospital a little more than a week after being shot. Mady had come to visit him everyday. She had spent at least an hour with him each day he was stuck there, it made the stay bearable. They spent their time talking; Mac found he was extremely open with her. She somehow knocked his barriers down with little effort. He found he wanted to let her know him, the real him.
He had not met the three other children yet. She thought it would be best to wait until he was out of the hospital before that. Kolby James had come to visit him twice. Both times he was a little distant towards Mac, and it pained Mac. He knew the boy was dealing with severe demons and he didn't want him to keep it in.
Finally he was out. He was on leave from work, while his arm was still securely fastened to his chest. He would be off six weeks before they would allow him to come back. He was in physical therapy and his movement was starting to gradually return.
He had finally met the younger children and it had gone over well. He had made a connection with Kady, and the twins were warming up to him. His relationship with Kolby James was hot and cold. Sometimes the boy was more than welcome to Mac, asking for his opinion, wanting to know more about Mac's past. Other days he was distant, keeping away from him, quiet, moody. Mady told him that was how he was.
One day he found himself alone with Kolby James. The boy was in one of his moods and Mac was determined to find the cause of it. He cornered the boy in the living room of his mother's house, while Mady was out with the other three children. Mac's right arm was still bound but he managed to contain the boy with his left. Kolby James looked up at him and glared.
"Why do you do this?" Mac asked. His eyes showed the concern he had for the boy. Kolby James studied Mac's eyes for a long time, but Mac didn't give in. He didn't release the boy.
"What's it to you?" the boy snapped. Mac let the pain flash through his eyes, locking contact with the boy, making him see he cared. Kolby James dropped his eyes.
"I care about you, Kolby James," Mac said softly. His left hand tightened a little on the boy's shoulder. He felt the boy shudder.
"It's hard," Kolby James said softly.
"What is?"
"Everything, I…I've hid from everything for so long, Mac, I don't know how to deal with it…people…I…"
"It's ok," Mac said and pulled the boy close.
"No. I killed their father…I have to face them everyday, look at them and know that I killed their father. I shot him and the blood…"
"This isn't something that will go away, Kolby James, you can't let it consume you. When you have these feelings you should talk about them."
"How can they look at me? How can they love me? I killed their father…I never knew mine and I killed theirs," he said, tears falling from his eyes.
"He was an evil person. The cops believe he killed seven people. What if he had killed your mom?"
"He didn't. I killed him."
"If you hadn't done what you did…I'd be dead. So would you and possibly your mother. You understand that right?"
"It doesn't make the guilt go away," he said in a sob.
"Time is the only thing that will make the guilt go away."
"I have nightmares. I dream about that night," the boy said in a whisper.
"That's normal. Want to talk about them?" Mac replied. The boy shook his head. Mac nodded. "Sometime we should talk about nightmares."
"Mac?" Kolby James asked as he looked up at the older man.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I was shot and you had to do what you did. I'm sorry I didn't think fast enough."
Kolby James stared at him. For the first time he realized that Mac had been going through the same thing he had been going through. He felt guilt just as much as Kolby James did. He felt guilt that he wasn't able to protect them, to shoot Robbie himself, to make everything safe. Kolby James made a decision.
"I'll try not to shut you or my mom out anymore," he said and then leaned in and wrapped his arms around Mac. Mac pulled him tightly to himself and leaned his cheek on the boy's head. Mady walked into the house then and saw the two standing in the embrace. She felt the tears come to her eyes and then she turned and left them alone. She kept the other children in the kitchen. Finally Kolby James came in with a small smile and sat down with his siblings at the table. Mady went into the living room to see Mac sitting on the couch.
"Everything ok?" she asked. Mac looked up at her when she said it and then nodded.
"I think so," he said. She sat down on his left side and leaned into him. He leaned over and kissed her on the temple. Mac thought about what his new life and everything that had changed. He knew he was happy now, he knew he was here to stay.
The six weeks passed quicker than Mac thought they would, but he did spend almost the entire time with Mady and her children. They had grown closer during the time spent and Mac was sure he was in love. He hadn't spoken the words out loud but he knew deep down that was what he felt.
He returned to work and it was to a heroes welcome. He downplayed his role and put the glory on his team, typical Mac. Stella grinned. Mac shook his head. The day was long and at the end of it Mac was sitting in his office watching the clock. He laughed at himself, he never watched the clock. He was about to grab his coat when he heard a light knock on his office door. He glanced up to see Stella standing there with a smile.
"Help you with something, Stel?" Mac asked cautiously.
"Leaving on time," Stella said with a smile. Mac returned it.
"Surprised?"
"Yes and no."
"Explain."
"Surprised because Mac Taylor never leaves on time, always late. No because I saw the way you looked at her and she at you."
"That obvious?"
"This something serious?" Stella asked with a grin.
"I think so, Stella, I think so," Mac said sliding into his coat.
"I'm happy for you, Mac, you deserve happiness," she said with a smile, then went over to him and gave him a hug. Mac smiled as she released him and nodded. She left then and he couldn't wipe the grin off his face. He was going to survive the storm. He was going home.
The End.