Some Psychological Help

Mother

Kathryn could not believe how much work therapy was. She did not know how Sebastian had done it for 3 months. She wondered what she would have to do to get out of it.

After getting back from the therapist's office, Sebastian and she had gone their separate ways without saying a word. It was fine with her; she really didn't want him to pry.

He had looked uncomfortable at the psychiatrist office once the session had gotten serious. Who even knew he had a nervous side? She would have found it amusing if she had not been so focused on her own problem.

Yeah, so she had a past that would not leave her alone, big fucking boo-hoo. Kathryn was not going to sit around and cry about it. She would do what she usually did: she was going to go shopping and then go to a party where there would be lots of debauchery.

"Kaaathrynnnnn!" Oh, God it was her mother. "Kaaaaaathrynnnnn!" Her mother then came from down the hall and stopped at her door. "Oh, hi Kathryn. I thought it would be nice to go shopping together. You didn't have anything else planned, did you?"

Kathryn was seated in her dark blue room, on her bed, reading a fashion magazine. "Yeah, actually I have to meet a friend," she lied quite easily.

"Well you could probably cancel. I'm sure they'll understand. Just tell them you have to spend time with your mother," she smiled brightly. It was not a request, she pretty much expected her to follow her demand.

"So…" Tiffany said as she walked tentatively into the room and sat at the end of the bed.

"So?" Kathryn said as she flipped through her magazine.

"How did the therapy session go?"

"It was fine," she said her eyes still glued to the magazine.

"So, everything was just fine?"

"Yeah."

"Ok…Do you want to talk about anything? Anything you want to share?"

"No, not really."

"Kathryn, really!" Tiffany got up from the bed exasperated "You have to talk about it sometime. Dr. Lauren Brown says-"

"Mother, just let it go! It happened four years ago. Let it die, already!" Kathryn bit her lip at her choice of word. Die. Damn, it was harder to forget than she liked. She got up and turned her back on her mother. "I think you should leave."

If her mother had been a different mother she would have hugged her, comforted her, and told her that she loved her. But she was not like other mothers. She never would be.

"Alright, I'm going to…we'll go shopping some other time. And if you need to talk…"

"Bye!" Kathryn said curtly. She continued to stand in the middle of the room with her arms around her waist.

"God, I thought she would never leave!" Sebastian said as he came out of her closet. He sat on her bed and picked up the magazine and glanced through it. His hands seemed to need to be in constant motion. She gave a small smile as she realized why. He was nervous to be around her.

Sebastian Part 1

"Trying on my dresses again, Sebastian? Find anything you'd like to borrow," she teased. She turned around and sat on the bed close by him. He may have had a gay friend, but Sebastian was afraid of homosexuality. She loved making him feel uncomfortable. It was so cute how his lips pursed, his eyebrows came together and that crinkle formed on his forehead. Her smile widened.

"No, hardly. But why don't you go in there and model that white one with the little pink rossettes along the bottom. You know, the one you save for your special company."

"You went through my lingerie! God, you're a pervert!" She shot up from the bed.

"Yeah, not like you didn't know that." He grasped her hand and pulled her down onto the bed again. He pushed her onto her back and hovered his face over hers. He gave her an Eskimo kiss. Then he moved in for a real kiss.

"Sebastian, what are you doing?" she asked softly, her lashes fluttering closed. She felt him pull back, but she kept her eyes closed. She would usually push him off of her and then say some snide remark that would make him storm off mad. She arched her back and rubbed her body against his. But she was tired of resisting, and really there was no point when they had already done the deed before. The only way to keep him interested was to use sex to control him. Yeah, she was only giving in cause he wanted it. She could get sex anywhere if she wanted. He did not mean a thing to her she tried to convince herself.

She put one hand on his neck and pulled him in and kissed one corner of his lip than the other. She then used her tongue to lick his bottom lip and moved on to taste his neck.

"Mmmm…that feels nice," Sebastian said. "Wait, now…arrrmmm…I was suppose to remember something. Aaaahhh…wait Kathryn stop!" Kathryn ignored him and moved her hands to pull his shirt out of his pants. He grabbed her wrists. "Didn't you hear me! Stop for a minute. I need to think."

She looked questioningly at him. He sat up, and when that didn't help, he got up off the bed and paced the room. He wiped his face with one hand while the other rested on his hip. Kathryn stared at him trying to figure him out. What had gotten into him? He thinks too much. God, Annette must have affected him more than she thought. He is turning into a pussy.

"God, Sebastian! There was a time before Dorothy arrived that you would have fucked anything without a dick. What exactly do you want?"

"I just need to think for a minute! Geez! Just give me a minute."

"Maybe I should just go find someone else who can do the job."

He stalked over to the bed and stared down at her. "You're a slut, you know that? Don't I mean anything to you?"

"Ha! Sebastian, wasn't it you who once said that we were too cold-hearted for anyone to love, that we were two of a kind? You expect me to feel anything for you when you call me names and kick me when I'm down. You're worst than me."

He put his hands on her upper arms and tried to pull her in for a hug, but she pushed him away. She moved further back on the bed towards the headboard. She started to pull her clothes off, while staring at him challengingly in the eye.

Sebastian Part 2

His eyes widened in disbelief. "You still want to have sex? What exactly are you trying to avoid? What are you afraid of?"

"Why does it have to be about anything? I just want to fuck, okay? Is it wrong for a girl to know what she wants?" she said crawling closer to him with each word. She kneeled on the bed and looked up at him through her lashes. She took his hand gently and licked and sucked on his index finger.

"Kathrynnnn." He moaned. "Kathryn." He cleared his throat and said seriously this time. "We really need to talk. I remembered what I wanted to ask you."

"Ok," she said resigned and settled back on her haunches. She did not know if she would answer him truthfully. It all depended on what he asked.

"Do you trust me? Do you trust that I would never hurt you on purpose?"

"Is that all? That's what you stopped this for," she said waving at her skirt and tank on the bed. He nodded. She rolled her eyes. "Sure," she said casually.

"Really?"

For the first time in a long time she decided to not play games and answer truthfully. "Yeah, I mean, you and my real dad are the only men I would trust. Well, I mean, I trust my mom too. But sometimes I doubt that she wants the best for me. Why did you want to know?"

"What were you and your mom talking about?"

"Shopping, she wants to prove that she can parent," she sneered.

"That's not what I meant. What exactly happened four years ago? It was before our parents met, wasn't it?"

"Sebastian, I don't want to talk about it!" He quirked an eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that! I do trust you, but I still don't want to talk about it, not with you, not with my mom, and not with a therapist!"

After a moment, she said angrily, "Was that all? Any more questions that you're just dying to ask?"

"I just don't get it. Why won't you tell me?"

She stood up and walked to the center of the room, and he followed her. "Sebastian, you remember what Dr. Hall said today?" she said patiently. He nodded. "Well, when I'm ready, I'll tell you. You just have to respect my privacy."

"I guess…what about what I said today? Do you remember?"

"What?"

"I said I like your laugh and…"

"Oh," she said finally getting it. "Awwwww, did I hurt the poor baby's feelings?" she cooed at him and patted his shoulder condescendingly.

"God, Kathryn! You don't know when to quit it with the jokes, do you? And after I was trying to be so understanding."

"Nothing's changed Sebastian. The sex, the soon-to-be new sibling, you knowing I have a haunting past, this talk- it all amounts to nothing. And anyway, I thought you declared war on me after I laughed at you and called you a loser. I guess you don't have the balls anymore. I guess you can just go running back to your little Ann-"

He slapped her hard. The sound echoed in the room and surprised her more than the stinging pain did. She let her mouth hang wide open in shock. He had slapped her before, but it had been different. No, actually the circumstances were the same. But she hadn't retaliated. She hadn't followed up with her plan to get Ronald mad at him. Instead she had gone and visited Blaine and his nephew, Matthew, again.

Harder

"I'm so sorry Kathryn. I shouldn't have done that."

She shook her head at him, and refused to speak.

"It's just that you make me so mad sometimes. Urgggh." He turned away from her with clenched fists. "You know, it's your fault. You push people away on purpose. It's harder for someone to love a cold-hearted person."

"Well, at least you called me a person. Usually you'd just call me a bitch."

He turned back around and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry."

Was he really? In those two words she wondered if he was apologizing for more than slapping her or for calling her a bitch in the past. Maybe he was wishing that her life had turned out differently for her, that she was a different person. Someone he could easily love, like Annette. God, she really hated Annette.

A couple moments past, and then Kathryn broke away from the embrace.

"You said 'harder,'" she said thinking over his words.

"What?" he blinked surprised, thinking of naughty things. After all, she was only in her red, lacy underwear.

"You said, 'It's harder for someone to love a cold-hearted person.' instead of 'It's hard for someone to love a cold-hearted person.' or 'it's impossible…'"

"I was just making a statement," he said backtracking looking like a cornered rabbit. "It didn't mean anything."

She smiled and laughed, the kind he liked. "You love me," she singsonged. She laughed again and smacked him playfully on the chest. Then she was stopped by the look in his eyes and noticed he was serious, not mad. She meant only to tease him about his word choice. "Oh, my God. You do love me. I mean I always suspected you had feelings for me. You used to sneak into my room just to watch me sleep. Ha. You thought I didn't know that. But I thought it was just..just…just an obsession of yours or something. I mean I knew it wasn't just lust. It was-" she rambled nervously.

"Kathryn!" he said shaking her. He raised his eyebrows. "You're freaking out. Wait…how did you know it wasn't just lust? I didn't even know, not until…hmmm." He went and sat down on the bed.

She put her clothes back on, and then sat next to him too. "So, what do we do about this," she said breaking the silence.

"What do you mean, what do we do? It's my problem! I mean it's not like you love me or something." He looked away from her.

She placed her hand on his cheek and forced him to face her. Caressing his cheek with her thumb, she thought there was no reason not to tell him. She was not sure herself, but she did want to make up for hurting him. Maybe she was in love with him. It was hard for her to convince herself that it was only sex. It was only sex with other people, not with him. "I love you, Sebastian," she whispered as she gave him a soft kiss. She then kissed him again and looked into his eyes searching for what…? She didn't know.

"I don't know if I can believe you."

"You want me to prove it to you!" she said incredulously.

"Yeah, actually that would be nice," he said pulling her onto his lap. "But completely unnecessary."

"Really!"

"Yeah," he said laughing. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he gave her a smoldering kiss. She was pulling his shirt out of his waistband and they were giggling deliriously happy when suddenly there was a knock on the door.

She looked at Sebastian alarmed. Her heart would have started beating faster if it could have, but it was already at full gallop out of anticipation and nervousness. She really wanted the time when they first made love to be special. Oh God! She was starting to think corny thoughts. What had Sebastian reduced her to?

"Who is it?" she called out angrily.

"I was wondering if you knew where Sebastian is? I'm a friend of Sebastian's. My name's Annette-" The door opened. "Hardgrove," Annette finished. "You must be Kathryn," she said after a beat. She looked past Kathryn, "Interesting room. So do you know where he is?"

Kathryn stood at her door and shrugged her shoulders. "Nope, no idea. But I'll tell him you were looking for him." When Annette didn't leave right away she said, "Was there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, it's just that…never mind," Annette said walking away.