this is my first fan fic story so be gentle, okay? it's based on a dream i had a few nights ago. i guess you could consider this an AU. i'm the original character in this. for those of you who don't know, Glen is Kane's real name. that's who i'm talking about in this story. i hope you enjoy.
I see myself chasing after him. That's how it always starts out. I don't know why I'm running so fast. I just am. There's no way to explain how I felt that day. It all happened so fast. Maybe that's how every destiny starts. Just by accident. When I finally catch up with him, I can tell right away that he wants to be alone but for some reason I don't take the hint. "Why did you just leave like that? Everyone's worried about you Glen. You've been acting strange lately. I'm worried about you. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" When he looks at me, I can see the confusion in his eyes. The swirling thoughts running through his mind. For some reason, I can't look away. "Just leave me alone Jen. There's nothing you can do. Now go away!" "No I don't accept that. There's something that you're not telling me. I can see it in your eyes. Why can't you tell me?" "Because it's none of your business that's why. Just take a hint like everyone else and just go. I don't want your pity, alright?" I can't help but have a confused look on my face. "What's wrong with you? Why are you shutting me out like this? How am I supposed to help you if I don't even know what's wrong?" He turns to walk away from me. I jump in his way. "Get out of my way Jen." I shake my head. "I can't do that and you know it." I can see the anger building in his eyes. "I won't say it again. Please move." I stand my ground and I can tell that he's getting fed up with my stubborness. "Don't make me do something I'll regret. I mean it now." "If your going to hit me then do it and get it over with but I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." I see him raise his hand and I close my eyes, preparing for impact but instead something unexpected happens. He grabs me and kisses me. I'm taken back by this but I can feel myself melting into his kiss. It's almost like time has stopped and just the two of us together are all that remain.
By the time he releases me from the kiss, I'm speechless. I'm at a loss for words. It's almost as if words are not needed to describe the feelings that are coursing through me. "What was that for?" I can instantly see the regret and shame in his eyes. "See what you made me do? What are we supposed to do now?" "Don't worry about it. That's not what matters. All that matters is you. I had no idea that you had feelings for me. Color me shocked." "I can't stay. I have to go." He lets me go and turns to leave. "What? Why? What did I do?" "You didn't do anything. It's just that I can't stay. If anyone finds out what just happened, I'm not sure what they'll do. That's why I need to leave." "No, Glen you can't. You can't just do that then leave. I don't care what everyone else thinks. All I care about is you. That's all that matters." "Look I won't ruin your life over this. There's a lot of things that you don't know about me." "That doesn't matter." "Yes it will. You have a future and I don't want to be the one to drag you down with me. It's not worth it."
"Why won't you stay? You can't just leave." "Yes I do. Even if I did, it would make things even worse for you. I can't do that. You mean too much to me." "If I mean so much, why are you leaving? Do I have a say in this?" "Don't ask me that. Please just don't, alright? The only reason I'm leaving is because I don't want to complicate your life. You already have so much going for you and I don't want to mess that up." "So that's it. Will I ever see you again?" "I don't know. I just need some time to think this over, okay? It's nothing personal and it's not about you. I just need some alone time, that's all." After that, he was gone. Out of my life to find some kind of meaning in all this madness. Deep down, I knew that he cared about me. Even when he didn't want to admit it, I could tell just by the way he would look at me. It hurts to know that I will never see him again. Maybe next lifetime, who knows. All I know is that deep down, I really do miss him. I catch myself thinking about 'what might have been.' Of course it's foolish to think about things like that especially from your past. Oh well. Just another painful memory to add to the pile.