It was like watching a movie, a living nightmare, or some tragic story you read in the paper. Never did Haley expect it to be reality. Never did she once ponder something this bad could torment her life. Looking down at the yellow daisies she held tightly between her finger tips she cursed this moment. Closing her eyes and letting tears fall from her ducts she distinctively made out others whimpers. It seemed that everyone felt the loss of his spirit. The whole town was present. Each and every being that resided in Tree Hill North Carolina stood sadly before the minister as he spoke the death of Joseph Steven James. His words came out in a tone of no emotion. A tone that could bluntly be heard from all around but yet showed he had no knowledge of the poor boy. It showed that he was not effected as the others were. Biting the corner of her lip Haley held in the sobs that racked her turmoil soul. She was witnessing a scene that should never be viewed. As they slowly lowered the brown wooden casket lowers into the deepened dirt hole she felt the immediate pang of ruin. Like someone had sucked all the air out of her. A feeling as if now there was no upside to living. Without her hero by her side how could she even think of going on? How was she to take care of her mother without him there? Or take care of herself for that matter? The weight of the world was now resting on her young shoulders and she felt like she should have been the one residing in that casket. After all if she could have traded places with her brother she would have never thought twice. Running a hand through her auburn hair she took in her surroundings. She recognized some but others well they were new faces to her. A young girl who seemed to be a little bit older than herself was sitting a good distance away clutching to a picture frame. Tears were rolling down her cheeks like a waterfall she looked heartbroken. Squinting and trying to get a better view of the young lady Haley recognized her immediately. From all the conversations Haley had previously shared with her brother, the way he described this one remarkable creature. Walking in a motion which consisted of very little Haley made way over to this girl. Her hair was tightly woven into a nice french braid and the mascara she had placed on her long elegant lashes was now trailing with each tear fallen. Standing affront of her Haley whispered out.
"S...savannah?"
Watching the young woman's eye lift to that of her own and seeing her instantly nod her head she forced herself to plaster a smile across her swollen lips. Lifting her shaky hand forward she cleared her throat and attempted in speaking.
"I d..don't know if you heard all that much about me? B..but I'm Ha..."
Before Haley even had a chance to finish her sentence her words were cut through with the young ladies much weaker squeak.
"You're Haley. I recognize you from all the pictures Joe kept of you in his dorm. When we first started hanging out I was jealous about all the pictures he had of you lying around. I thought you were some ex girlfriend or something. But then he explained how... you were his best friend and baby sister. I'm so sorry Haley. This must be horribly tough on you."
Listening to her voice speak of the memories Haley felt almost angered towards this kind stranger. Sure she was nice enough and yes she was being genuinely kind to her at the moment but she was the reason Joey had been away for so long. She was what kept him from the more important aspects of life, his family. Trying to hide the resentment she felt she gave a silent nod before turning quickly on her heels and making way back over to her mothers side. As she was about to step over she could hear the soft like way she spoke. She was looking downward into the open grave and was speaking with much pain. It was apparent she was making her final goodbye to her loving son. Haley watched the love her mother was showing and felt her breath catch. This was the worst of days and they soon would grow worse. It was finally hitting home. Most say it takes several days for the family to come to cope with the fact that their loved one isn't coming home. Well for Haley it seemed to hit her sooner than most. For at this second she felt him leave her completely. Looking to the sky she let her tears drift from her body and raised her hands to her sides. Wanting to fly away and be lifted from her feet she prayed that this was some prank joke. But yes she knew better. As she closed her eyes downward and tried to recall all the memories a voice broke her concentration. A voice that would only bring her even more sadness.
"Its a funny thing. The only time your mother is actually sober is at her sons funeral. Well I guess I should give her credit for that one huh?" As his hands clapped together Haley turned with gritted teeth. Why must things always go from bad to so much worse in an instant. It felt as though her heart couldn't break anymore yet somehow pieces were still shattering. Wrapping her arms around her sides she hugged herself and tried to focus. Her breath was begin to increased with speed and she felt light weighted for a moment. She feared passing out yet also eager to drift for a moment. Rubbing both her arms trying to keep heat within her she cursed out.
"You know for the last couple of days I begged for you to come back. For you to enter the door with a big happy grin yelling the words of April fools or something. Claim it was some joke. Just like I cling to the dream that this too may just be some prank he's pulling. That he's not really gone. But I know better."
Stepping closer to him she felt her knees wobble beneath her but forced herself to stand upright. She would remain stand still in front of him. Prove she would be just fine without his sorry behind and claim that they would get through Joey's death without the help of him.
"You know you have every right to be here. I can't ask that you leave. But don't toy with me Daddy. You can't just walk away from us and then show up a couple days later."
"Oh come on baby girl. I never meant to hurt you by leaving like that. Aren't you glad to see your old man?"
Letting several more tears fall she nodded her head but made no move to fall into his arms. She wouldn't let herself go there. As much as she missed her Dad these last few days she couldn't let him comfort her. For she knew better. He would help her through today and then be gone again tomorrow and Haley couldn't let herself feel any more pain. As she held his gaze she wished that things could go back to normal. That he could come home every night from work smelling of mobile grease and or oil, that they together could cook a fabulous meal for dinner, that her mother would return back to her job and do away with her good for nothing drinking problem, and most importantly that Joey could be filled with life once more and hold her close to him. She wished all those things in the deep of her heart but looking around her she knew it was all a useless hope. For she had the power in changing nothing. Catching her mothers gaze from afar she noted the look she displayed. It showed much hurt and even betrayal. Cringing in seeing her walk away from the cemetery land and entering her beat up old car she watched as her mother slowly drove off. Leaving Haley alone with the rest of the mourners. Feeling at a loss she watched from the corner of her eyes as two beings made way closer to her. They walked sauntering over casually yet she knew they were checking on her state of mind. Which currently was not all that well cared for. Clutching her fists Haley's head spun trying to figure what she could possibly do. Her father seemed worried yet who was he to care for her anymore? He didn't care when he left her alone in the cold driveway days ago. He surely had no right in giving a single damned thought now. Just as these fours were about to meet in one solid circle rain drops began fleeting from the sky. Roars of thunder barked out and the moist drops pummeled down on top of their heads. Haley let herself cry as the rain drowned out her sobs. Shaking her head in disgust she pushed past her father as fast as she could and began running. Where to she had no idea. For she just felt the walls closing. Losing Joey was something that made her feel entirely different inside. She was no longer the norm. Quite frankly she wasn't even so certain she ever would become the once known Haley James again. For that girl was lost complete in the obis. Swept away in the wind. No point in returning.

Lucas sighed stepping out of his truck and slamming the door to follow. It had been several hours since Haley ran from her brothers funeral. Since she took off into the cold rain of day. Scratching at the back of his head he wondered just where she had gone too. For Lucas new Haley all too well. And if for some reason she did not want to be found. Well lets just say she would remain hidden for quite some time. As his sneakers splashed through each puddle he walked onward up the stairs to his doorway. Just as he was about to turn the key and welcome the warmth of home he heard the sound of faint cries. Turning quickly he saw the broken sight of his best friend. She was huddled in the corner of his patio deck clinging to her knees and rocking in an every slow motion. Seeing the daze look she held he reached out to grab at her and exhaled with relief when she let him lift her into his arms. Holding her tightly to him afraid that she would crumble if he was to ever let her go he opened his doorway and entered slowly. Feeling the heat flush around them he slowly placed his best friend onto his bed before rummaging quickly through his drawers. Pulling several articles of clothing he went to sit by her side. Rubbing a hand through her now soggy wet locks he questioned with softness.

"Hales how 'bout we get you into some dry clothes huh? We don't want you getting sick."

As he went to reach for her soaking shirt she squirmed and pushed his hand away. It wasn't that she was scared of him undressing her. Being friends for several years there were many times they accidentally caught a glimpse of one another's body. It was no longer embarrassing to either and well it was almost natural. In his second attempt she almost grew with anger but just shook her head in protest.

"Lucas will you knock it off already? Just leave me alone."

"But your soaking wet. I don't want you to catch something Haley. I don't need you to get sick on top of everything."

Lifting her eyes to his she tilted her head back in laughter. Not a happy Haley giggle or even a oh so funny laugh. It was more of a remorseful and evil toned snicker. It made Lucas shiver to the bone and wonder what had gotten into his poor friend.

"It's always about you huh Luke? Always about what may un convenient your life or the things you do or don't need. Its never about me is it?"

Growing with curiosity Lucas furrowed his brows before gently asking.

"Haley what are you talking about? I always put you first. You know that. You're my world. Always have and will be my number one."

A look of pain shot through Haley as everything seemed foggy in her mind. All these random thoughts and feelings were bursting through her and she was having difficulty keeping herself in check. She felt as though right now the whole entire world was singling her out. Like they were purposely throwing pain her way and instantly turning their back. Forcing her to deal with everything alone. She felt her cheeks grow with warmth as her whole body began to shake with frustration. She didn't know for sure why she was mad at Lucas. He had done nothing wrong. He had taken her in and now was trying his best to take care of her. Maybe that's why she was mad. Maybe she didn't want him to be the one reaching out for her. Maybe the only one she wanted comfort from was not here anymore. Maybe he had left her for all eternity. Maybe she was now feeling betrayed that he could leave. Just like her father did. Joey abandoned her. But she knew it wasn't his fault. She figured it was her own and that's why she was feeling resentment. It was herself she was really angered with but Lucas was the easier target. She was so sure that the reason for Joey's accident was her own stupid cause. If she didn't run off like a baby maybe he wouldn't have been in a rush to go after her. For she wasn't there and not positive on what went down after she left the cafe but still she felt it in her heart. Joey was gone and it was her doing. What a selfish and rotten person she had come to be. As all these thoughts rushed through her mind she once again felt Lucas' hand on her.

"Haley if you just let me..."

"No!" Her voice shook with anger as she threw his hands off her body. Standing to her feet with all the strength left in her she yelled with venom.

"You are nothing but a selfish bastard. All you care about is yourself and quite frankly I'm sick and tired of it. There are far more things to worry about in life Lucas."

He tried to let her speak her mind. Tried to keep himself in control and not grow with annoyance at her attitude towards him. He knew she was hurting beyond belief and that is why he let her speak freely about how much she thought to hate him. He didn't like her use of words but if it made her feel better he thought he could handle her blows. Swallowing forcefully he calmly questioned her outburst.

"How am I selfish Haley? I live for you day in and day out. How is that selfish what so ever?"

Scoffing at his statement Haley tossed her wet dripping hair to the side of her head and then began once more.

"You live for me? Ha that's a laugh. You are kidding right? Name one thing you have done for me in the last month? I mean come on all you care about is yourself and your precious little needs. The needs you would put first before anything else. Think about it. All your spare time you have spent with Brooke. My Brooke. My best friend who you desperately crave. Yeah! You use her for your man needs and then toss her out! You use me too! You don't even care Luke. As long as your happy right? Some friend you are. You dirty no good son of a bitch! Ugh I hate you!"

Her voice boomed louder and louder with each word and Lucas shook his head at her behavior. He didn't know how to stop her rampage but he was sure as hell getting tired of hearing her knock him down. No matter how bad she was hurting he wanted to make known that he was her friend. That he was there for her. Standing to his feet he began to speak his own mind.

"Yeah I'm so selfish right Haley? Come on I give up my weekends to cater you around! I put you first before any other girl in my life! Your so damn senile at the moment you can't see it but I do more for you than anyone has in your entire life! I care about you Haley! ME!"

"Name one thing you've done for me then? Name one thing you've done worthy of me? COME ON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR POOR HALEY J!"

"CALLED YOUR SO CALLED BROTHER AND ASKED HIM TO GET HIS SORRY ASS DOWN HERE BECAUSE HIS SISTER NEEDED HIM! I CALLED JOEY! I MADE HIM COME! I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH AND I ASKED THAT HE COME SEE HIS SISTER! I TOLD HIM YOU NEEDED HIM! I DID THAT FOR YOU HALEY! SOME JERK I AM RIGHT!"

After letting his voice scream out violently the air seemed stiffened. He didn't want to bring Joey into this conversation. Haley didn't need that at the moment. He noticed her face take on a resemblance of stone and felt his body drain. He knew he had struck the wrong cords and feared she would self combust. Pitying her he stepped closer feeling the need to embrace her but she only pushed him away with as much strength as she could muster. She felt the air rush out of her lungs as she questioned.

"You made him come here?"

Lucas nodded his head afraid to speak and just listened to Haley as she fought to find the right words.

"I thought it was my fault." Pausing she slowly backed herself away from him. Scared to even look into those eyes. She felt betrayed and far more frightened then ever. Turning the knob to his door she left the words linger before racing out into the night.

"When in reality it was yours."