Disclaimer : I never own Lotr characters, I only wish I could. They belong to Master Tolkien.

Again, I never mean to offense Haldir or Craig Parker. I love him with all my heart.

Warning : . This chapter contains slight slash, male/male relationship.

This is AU, of course.

I'm sorry for all the grammar errors, it's all unintentional.


Chapter 2 : The first dietary program from the first professional

Rumil entered Orophin's room. When he saw his youngest brother was sitting in front of computer, playing The Sims Online, he was so angry.

"You are playing this without telling me!" cried Rumil. Orophin turned to look at Rumil apologetically. Then, Rumil realized that it was not the right time for a quarrel. "Hey, what are you doing, Orophin? You promise to follow up for Haldir and you – "

"Calm down, brother, Legolas emailed me back, look at this!" Orophin closed Rumil's mouth, saved the game and opened Outllook Express in another window.

From : "Skater Boy"
Date : Today
To : "Orophin"
Subject : Re : My brother needs help!
Attach : Mirkwooddiet.doc (56.6 Kb.)

Hi Orophin! Glad to hear from you.

I read Haldir's problem and feel so sad that he comes to this. Anyway, with all honors in me, Prince of Mirkwood, one who rules almost all women and men in this world, the winner of Mr. Congeniality of Mr. Middle Earth, one who received the Sweetest Smile Award from Middle-Earth Time magazine, one who known as handsome, beautiful, silky golden hair, sexiest elf, best archer, best skaters and all the best in middle earth.

Did I miss anything?

Ok, let come to the point, I attach dietary program for you. This program works so well in Mirkwood. (Proved by King Thranduil, my father) Set the meals for Haldir according to this, one week, guarantee!.

Email back to me … I'm waiting for the result with all my heart

With love,

Legolas

PS1 : Send my love to Rumil, your handsome brother, tell him, "I'm prettier than you!"

PS2 : Scary. When I opened the picture, I understand immedietely why Haldir needs help - -""

----- Original Message -----

>From: "Orophin"
>To: "Skater Boy"
>Cc "Virus Twins I" "Virus Twins II" "Golden Glorfindel" "Strider Always Great!" "Erestor"
>Sent: Yesterday
>Subject : My brother needs help!
>Attach : haldir.jpg (116 Kb.)

>My dear friends, my brother and I need help.
>I need the most effective dietary program urgently!
>Ah – this is not for me but for Haldir. He has a
>problem with – (see attachment). I love my brother,
>I want to help him but I don't know how. (I never
>had this problem with myself, so did Rumil). That's
>why we got to seek help from you!
>Hope to get good news soon.
>Thank you in advance.

>Orophin

Orophin double clicked the attachment to open the dietary program. He glanced at Rumil, just then, one of his brow rose when he saw Rumil's lip turned into wicked smile. "What do you think?"

Rumil moved his hand to the mouse to print button. "We have work to do!"

"What is this, brothers? I'm not hungry." Haldir said to his brother when he saw the two entered his talan and brought the tray of food with them. Haldir felt this stomach crying out loud. He bent his head down in shame, not so sure if his brother heard it.

"We can't stand to see you starving, dear brother." Rumil said and placed the tray on the table in front of Haldir. Even the tray was covered with a lid, Haldir felt so sure that the food inside must be very delicious, judged by the smell of it.

"But I'm not hungry." Haldir tried not to look at the tray but his stomach denied the order from his brain.

"Don't worry Haldir, this food won't increase your weight but it helps to lose it!" Orophin assured with a wide smile.

"Really?" said Haldir. His eyes sparked hopefully.

"Of course, brother. Just hurry, before it gets cold," Rumil was also glad with Haldir when he saw his brother was happy.

"Enjoy your dinner!" Orophin smiled before they went outside.

After his brothers left, Haldir opened the lid and saw the food on the plate. There were some kinds of steak with vegetable salad. Haldir did not sure which kind of steak it was but the smell was so good. He tasted it and it was absolutely good.

Outside his talan, Rumil and Orophin peeked in and saw Haldir enjoyed the dinner. The wicked smiles appeared on their faces.

So full …

Haldir enjoyed his dinner so much and left nothing. His handsome face was full of smiles. His hunger was all gone, replaced with sleepiness. Haldir yawned and went directly to his bed.

For three days, Haldir ate the food his brothers brought to him without asking questions. Rumil and Orophin were busy preparing the food according to the program got from Legolas. They were tired to find the ingredient but Haldir was enjoyable.

No need to speak of the weight, never lose but gained more.

"Hey brother, do you feel the same?" Orophin said to Rumil. They were walking in the garden under mellyrn trees. They were on their back to talan after the hard archery practice.

"Yes, of course, I know Celeborn kept on staring at you for decade!"

"Oh yes, that's why I never locked the door." Orophin said without his awareness before closing his mouth with his hand. Rumil tilted his head and stared at his brother unbelievable. "No no, I did not mean that, I'm talking about Haldir!"

"Oh I see." Rumil chuckled when Orophin blushed. "Yeah, I saw Haldir's getting wider and bigger and he's so good appetite, eat then sleep, wake up and eat again." Rumil signed.

"Did we do something wrong?"

"I wonder too, brother. I did according to Legolas's program." Rumil glanced at the Orophin's troubled face. "Or Legolas betrayed us. He revenged us because you always photoshop his naked pictures with Aragorn and made forward email!"

Orophin was shocked. His eyes widened in surprised. "Yeah, that must be it! I completely forget about it. I'm a fool to believe Legolas!" He shook his head. "Oh Haldir, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sad, Orophin. I'll revenge him. I'll send Trojan horse to Mirkwood server. Don't worry." Rumil hugged his brother's shoulder. "Think positively, we don't need to find giant spider to cook for Haldir anymore."

"Giant spider!" A shout made the two brothers jumped. A big, creepy shadow appeared at their back. It's Haldir. "You cooked giant spider for me!" He cried.

"Oh brother, I don't see you around, probably, you are too small for us to notice." Rumil answered with a weak smile.

"Thank you, brother … No, don't change the subject, Rumil! Tell me, what did you cook for me these days?"

"Nothing, just a steak." Orophin tried to lie but Haldir did not believe him.

"You know it! I hate spider!" Haldir cried. He thought of the food he enjoyed these past days. He believed that it was a stag or something else. He never thought of a giant spider which he hated so much. He thought of the eight hairy long legs and felt sick. Three days foods were struck in his throat. Haldir fell on his knee and got sick.

"Haldir!" Rumil and Orophin cried out in unison.

The first dietary program from the first professional ended here.

After carrying Haldir's heavy body back to his talan, Rumil and Orophin retired to their room without a word. They were too tired even to say goodnight.

Orophin entered his room. He did not lock the door as usual. The room was dark but there was a glow from his wireless mouse. The young elf walked to his computer and moved his mouse. The dark monitor turned awake.

You got mail!

The wicked smile appeared on his face once again.


TBC

Author's Note : I know it's quite some time for me to update. I'm too scare to continue writing, actually to say it correctly, translating my fiction from Thai to English. Yes, I finish this story in my language some ages ago but I'm lack of confident in my English skill. I probably need a beta to help me improve my writing skill.

But thank you anyway for reading my story. I hope you enjoy it as I do.