Lucas was in the hospital for a couples days after that. He asked his mom not to let anyone in. He was very distant. He didn't talk to anyone, not even his mother. He didn't even say anything when the doctors told him that he couldn't play basketball anymore. He just sat there with an emotionless face. Karen was really worried, and was afraid he would do something really drastic now that he lost the two most important things of his life. Basketball and Brooke! Lucas didn't care about anything… to him his life was over.

Brooke on the other hand went a long like everything was fine. She wasn't in her room crying or staying home eating ice cream or anything like that. Everyone was really worried about her. She wasn't acting like she just lost the love of her life. She was incomplete denial.

Brooke POV

"Hey P. Sawyer wait up." I said running up to her

"Brooke What's up?" she said

"Oh nothing, just can't wait till school's over. Mr. Lawrence gave us this stupid paper to write and it's due on Monday so my weekend is going to completely suck. God I'm so bad at writing papers." I said

"you know Lucas is pretty good at papers." She said

"God Peyton give it a rest. We …ARE…NOT ….GETTING …BACK …TOGETHER. " I said rather loudly

"Brooke come on don't you think you are over reacting about this." She said

"Peyton he lied to me……… AGAIN after he promised he wouldn't ok. I can't trust him. I'm sorry." I said

"Brooke he had a secret that he kept to himself because he was scared. This had nothing to do with you. He wasn't betraying you. And right now he needs all the friends he can get to support him. He just lost everything important to him. Look I know your mad but think how he's feeling." She said

"Alright maybe I was a little out of line it's just that I was mad and hurt that he lied again. I'll talk to him but I'm not promising anything." I said

"thank you that's all I ask. Plus he needs someone to talk to. He's been like a zombie the past few days." She said as we continued walking

"yeah……… I noticed." I said not really talking to her but thinking about Lucas. I miss him.

I saw Lucas sitting by himself, which is something he has been doing lately. I never see him hanging out with anyone or even talking to anyone. It's taken so much out of me not to run up to him and kiss him every time I see him. But I have to be strong. It's over and we have to keep it that way. How? I have no idea.

"Um… Hey Luke." I said kinda nervous

"You're talking to me? He said when he looked up. Then I sat down next to him

"Yeah, about that. I'm sorry Luke. I over reacted. I was just mad that you lied to me again." I said

"Brooke no, I'm sorry. I should've told you. But I was just scared of what might happen if people knew. Basketball was everything to me and I guess I wasn't ready to give that up. But I guess I don't have a choice now. Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you." He said grabbing my hand

"I know. And I do. I never should have yelled at you like that ….. not that you didn't deserve some of it" I said kinda smiling

"Thank you, you don't know how much. I just want to go back to the way things were. I just want my Cheery back." He said while he was leaning to kiss me then I pulled away.

"Whoa ….Lucas. I think you are getting ahead of yourself." I said sliding away from him.

"but I thought…" he said then I interrupted him

"yeah well you thought wrong. I said I was sorry about the way I acted but there's still the main fact that I can't trust you." I said

"but Brooke I didn't mean to lie. I just couldn't tell anyone." He said

"Lucas I understand. But I told you that if this thing was going to work than we have to be completely honest with each other. And you weren't. you could have told me but you didn't. how do I know that aren't keeping anything else from me." I said

"Brooke I promise you that I'm not." He said

"See Lucas that's exactly what you told me last time. I'm sorry I can't do this anymore. I won't be in a relationship without trust. I'm sorry. But I would like to still be your friend." I said

"your Friend, your friend. Brooke I'm in love with you. How can I possibly be your friend." He said looking really hurt.

"I'm sorry but that's all I can give. It's this or nothing at all." I said trying to be strong

"well looks like I'm back where I started, with nothing." he said getting up

"Lucas come on don't be like this." I said

"Brooke you made your choice and I so have I. you go do your thing and I'll do mine." He said and then walked away

As weeks went on Lucas got worse and worse. Brooke tried to talk to him at first but soon gave up when she realized how much damaged she did to him. Her guilt was eating away at her but tried her best to deny it. Lucas had been skipping classes especially with the ones with her. He was either in his room locked away or out finding ways to get drunk. Drinking seemed to be the only thing to make him feel better or not feel anything at all. One night, while being extremely drunk, he felt that he needed to talk to Brooke. or Sing to Brooke for that matter

Lucas POV

"Here's the thing we started off friends

It was cool but it was all pretend

yah yah since you've been gone" I sang very loudly outside Brooke's window

"Brooke, wake up. Do you hear that?." Haley said

"Huh…….. yeah. What the hell is that? Brooke said while getting up to go to the window

"and all you'd ever hear me say is how

I pictured me with you that's all you'd ever

hear me say but since you've been gone

I can breath for the first time I'm still movin'

on yah yah thanks to you now I get what I want

since you've been gone" I sang .. very bad I might add… and some of it was really slurred

"Lucas … what the hell are you doing?" Brooke yelled from her window

"Well …. I just wanted to ask………

how come I never hear you say I just want

to be with you. Guess you never felt that way

but since you've been gone." I said then started to sing again and took swing off the vodka I was holding

"Lucas Come to the front door.' She yelled

"Why would I possibly want to do that….. so you can break my heart again." I said slurred

"Just do it." She yelled

"fine" I said then headed for the door

"God I have never seen him like this. So what are you going to do? Haley said

"Slap him till he's sober and when he is slapping him again for waking me up." Brooke said as she headed for the door.

"Ok well you two have your lovers quarrel….. I'm going back to bed. Tell me if you need anything." Haley said she got back into bed

"yeah I might need help burying him after I kill him for acting so stupid." she said

"you had your chance you blew it out of sight

out of mind shut your mouth I just can't take it

again and again and again and again ," I sang but in a low voice when she open the door

"Lucas why are you drinking and for the love of God……why are you singing Kelly Clarkson?" she said while letting him in

"Because it's fun… remember I'm all about the fun and the song is now my absolute favorite, since it has so much meaning for my life right now." I said stumbling in the apartment

"Look, it's late……… why don't you sleep on the couch and we can talk in the mourning." She said

"well how about I sleep with you." I said walking to stand right in front of her.

"No, that's not a good idea." She said looking away from me. Then I held her face in my hands and put my forehead on hers.

"God, why don't you want to be with me? I love you so much it hurts. You break my heart and I still want you." I said kinda whining

"Lucas please stop" she said trying to get away from me but I grabbed her wrist pulled her even closer to me.

"no…… no more running. Baby we were so good. Weren't we? Why won't you just let me love you? That's all I want to do. I can't live without you. I can't breathe. Please Brooke …I love you so much…. Please? I said leaning to kiss her and she let me for a second then pulled away.

"I'm sorry….. I can't. I just can't." she said then left went in her room

Lucas' POV

"Lucas, where have you been?" Karen yelled when Lucas

"Mom I'm sorry but do you think you could yell quietly" I said holding his head

"What are you hungover again? Lucas what has gotten into you? The past few weeks you have been moody and distant and if you're not locked in your room then you are out doing god knows what at all hours in the mourning. Lucas, honey please talk to me. What is making you act like this?" She said

"Mom what do think is bothering, I can't play basketball anymore. The one thing that was always constant in my life. and to make it worst Brooke broke up with me and now I have nothing. I just got her back and now I have to find some way to live without her. I can't Mom. She everything to me and I screwed up again. now I have nothing to live for. So what the use." I said with tears in my eyes

"Lucas listen to me. You have everything to live for. you're going to college soon and you should start focusing on your future. I know basketball was everything to you but you could focus on something else. Find something else your good at. Like writing maybe. Just don't give up on everything." She said

"yeah well that's great mom but how I'm I suppose to do all that without the woman I love. How am I suppose to go on with my life when Brooke's my life." I said

"Lucas, Sweetie I don't know what to tell you. I know you love her. but just give it some time. Maybe she'll come around." She said

"and what if she doesn't? Mom I'm seriously in love with her and I don't think I will ever feel like this again and I don't think I ever want to. She's the one." I said

"well you better fix yourself if you want her to come back to you. She wouldn't want this new and improved Lucas." She said sarcastically

"yeah, I know. I sang Kelly Clarkson to her outside her window tonight and she wasn't exactly impressed." I said

"Please tell me you didn't." she said while she laughed

"yeah I did." I said with a smile

"Look you had a long night, why don't you go get some rest." She said

"Thanks mom." I said before I headed to my room and went to bed

While I was lying in my bed, I took the picture of me and Brooke out from under my pillow

And I just stared at her. it was a picture of me and her on the bench at the river court. She was sitting on my lap and we were staring at each other with our foreheads touching. We looked so in love. I knew I had to change. If I wanted Brooke back I knew I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and start a new life and hopefully soon I could do it with her.

Brooke POV

"So he sang Since You've Been Gone outside your window" Peyton said laughing

"yeah and very badly I might add." I said

" Good job Brooke, you drove him to be a Alcoholic musician." Peyton said still laughing

"Peyton this is so not funny. Everything is just falling apart. I'm miserable, he's miserable. I don't know what to do. I can't be with him and I can't be without him." I said

"Brooke just forgive him already and all this will go away." She said

"I can't. He lied again and I got hurt……. again. I'm not doing it again. I refuse." I said

"well I guess you are just going to have to stay miserable then." Peyton said

"yeah I guess so." I said then started to stare off in space thinking about Lucas

It has been 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours and 30 minutes since Lucas showed up at my house. Why I I've been counting down I have no idea. I just can't believe I haven't talk to him in that long. He hasn't even tried and talk to me. He wouldn't even look at me. Haley told me that he had stopped drinking and is trying to move on with his life and make it a new. I was so happy to hear that he stopped drinking but it hit me that he was making a new life without me. It broke my heart all over again.

I was driving home from cheerleading practice one night. It was still weird that I didn't see Lucas in the gym anymore. I missed him so much. I missed his smile, his eyes, the way it felt when he would hold me, and how it felt when he kissed me. I was so confused. How can I not be with him cause I can't trust him and still want him so much it hurt. I was kicked out of my thought when I saw someone playing basketball at the river court. It was Lucas. What was he doing/ He knows he shouldn't be playing basketball especially alone. So I pulled up and got out of the car really pissed off.

"what the hell are you thinking? Are you trying to kill yourself? I said grabbing the basketball from him

"hey Brooke nice to see you." He said

"don't give me that crap, you know you shouldn't be playing. why the hell are you out here?" I yelled

"it's none of your business and why the hell do you care? It's not like you care about me or anything." he said right in my face

"Lucas shut up you know that's not true." I said pissed off that he would say such a thing

"oh really cause I remember a certain someone saying that she never want to see or speak to me again." he said

"and I apologized to you for acting like that, I even told you I wanted to be friends. But you were the one who said no." I said still yelling

"Brooke, why did you even bother? You broke up with me. You got what you wanted. I get it you don't want me, you don't love me anymore. Ok…. So you don't have to this. You can go back to whatever you were doing." He said then grabb the basketball from me and shot again

I just stared at him. Then I went up to him and smacked him on the head.

"oowww, what the hell was that for." he said as he held his head

"you idiot, you think that's why I broke up with you. I broke up with you cause I can't trust you, not because I don't love you, you dumbass." I said and hit him again." And that's not even the only reason……. I did it." I said, saying that last part barley audible.

"why then?" he said

"Because I was scared that I would lose you. I couldn't bare the thought of us being together so happy and then something tragic happening to you, and then you being ripped away from me. That would have killed me. I couldn't handle it. But this just right here might be just as worst. And your wrong I do love you. I love you…. I love you , I love you , I love you" I said crying and hitting him over and over again on the chest then Lucas just put his arms around me and held me while I broke down. All the tears I had been holding in since that night I broke up with him finally came out. Then he moved us over to the bench. And put me on his lap. And wiped the tears off my face

"Baby sshhh! Nothing, is going to take me away from you. Nothing can. I'm apart of you and you're apart me. It's always going to be that way. I promise. You have to believe that." He said stroking my face

"when you got into that accident and then didn't wake up afterwards, I was so scared that I lost you. I don't think I could do that again. And now knowing you have HCM, and that it could kill you. I sorry it's just to much. You're everything to me. How could I live without you?" I said crying again

"then why did you leave me Brooke? we could have worked it out." He said

"you lied to me again, when you promised you wouldn't. I can't trust you anymore. I'm sorry." I said

"I know and I'm sorry." He said looking rather disappointed

"But that doesn't mean I can't learn to." I said

"Wait…………. does that mean ……..we can get back together?" he said nervously

"no, I think we need a new start. Start dating maybe." I said

"what, another non exclusive relationship? Because I don't want that" he said

"no, whole new rules. We are not together but we date each other and no one else. and we take things really ….really slow." I said

"How slow?" he said confused

"Like no kissing, and absolutely no sex. When we go on a date, you ask three days before. We can hold hands, ….. sometimes. Not too much flirting. And this one is very important, …….. no saying I love you. Not until I'm fully ready to trust us again. ………. I just really think we need to start off as friends again and work our way up.……..So do you think you can do that?" I said

"Well it's better than nothing, I guess. so yeah I think I can." He said

"Good." I said with a smile

"so what am I to you?" he asked

"Uuummm………….I guess my friend with…….. boyfriend potential." I said with a slight smile

"I guess I can live with that, what ever that is." He said looking at me like I was crazy

"so….. do you want to go out with me on Saturday?"

"Maybe I'll have to check my calendar, but I'll get back to you." I said

"Funny" he said rolling his eyes

"Who's joking?" I said