Dear Diary,
I wish could understand this feeling more closely. Everytime I get around Beastboy I start to lose that feeling of sadness that always hangs over me. I feel happy and calm yet at the same time nervous. WHY is HE making me nervous? Starfire says it is because I am in love with him. I am afraid to believe her though I know that what she says is true. I do not understand how I can possibly be in love with him. I know he loves me to. He has told me several times and poor BB, I always turn him down evertime he asks me out. The team is going out to a club later. BB will probably ask me to be his date again. I want to say yes, I want to give in to what my heart wants so badly but I am afraid. I am afraid to love and to let somebody love me. If only I could be happy like Starfire is with Robin and BeeBee(BumbleBee) is with Cyborg. Watching my friends go on dates, have romantic evenings, fight, then kiss and make up, it kills me. BB loves me I love him, shouldnt be simple? I guess I do not trust anyone with my heart anymore. It has been broken so many times. I do trust BeastBoy, but it is scary, giving up your heart to someone. I suppose thats what love is, to be vunerable, to risk everything you have for have someone that you care for. I have to do it. Tonight at the club Ill tell him. If love is really so wonderful as Star says then I am going to risk it. I will tell BB that I love him. I promise I will tell him tonight!
Dear Diary,
The most wonderful thing happened tonight at the club! First of all I would like to say I learned that BB can sing and I mean that boy can blow! But the club we went to had kareoke( I have no idea if that is spelled right but my computer does not have spell check. Sorry) and BB sang this song called "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse Mccartney and he dedicated it to me! Beast Boy said he loved me in front of everyone in the club. He yelled (I LOVE RAVEN!) right into the microphone! I cannot believe it! And the best part is that I said I love you right back to him. He almost fainted from shock. Cy really did faint from shock. Only Starfire was not suprised. And then BB kissed me! That boy, in front of all our teamates and BumbleBee, he kissed me. I am so glad he did though. I had never had a real true kiss before and it was the most amazing feeling in the worl! I felt calm but nervous, scared but safe, wild but sane, and it was like magic! No wait, it was not like magic, it was magic! I HAVE BOYFRIEND! I dont think I have ever been so happy in my life. I cant believe BB kissed me! Starfire was right. I am madly, crazily, dangerously, hopelessly in love with Beastboy. But finally, now that I really have him, I truly feel happy, I feel like I found something I had been missing. I feel so loved. I finally feel complete