Hatori's beginning little monologue here was inspired by the beginning of 'Lolita' by Vladimir Nabokov. The style and words are not exactly identical, but are pretty close.

Akito. My Light, my God.

A-ki- to: push sound up your throat, then with the first gentle exhale of breath, click your tongue against the soft back palate, end with the tongue tip tapping on the front teeth. Ah. Kee. Toe.

Akito.

He is the imperious Akito-sama to servants and Sohma alike, standing five foot five in his yukata. He is Akito-san to closer Juunishi. But in my mind he was always Akito.

And in my imaginary arms, Aki-san.

Why? Why am I thinking of you, Akito? Why won't you leave my mind? Is it guilt for hurting you?

These hands broke you. These doctor fingers of mine clamped tight on your frail wrist and cracked your bones. I bruised your divine ivory flesh.

I'm guilty, guilty of sin against my God.

Will I ever be forgiven?

Hatori rubbed his face. It had been three days since the accident and only thing in his tired mind was Akito, Akito, Akito. He had not directly seen his God since – he dared not disobey Akito's furious order to never come near him again. The Dragon was wracked by guilt and it showed in his normally expressionless face. His eyes had a haunted look. And now the doctor had another thing to squirm about.

He had taken to watching Akito.

Not spying, he assured himself, he wasn't following his leader everywhere…Akito seldom went outside his room…but watching. Whenever he was near.

Watching the clan-head while he slept (alone or with Kiro), while he cat-napped on the porch, walked in the gardens. Always at a furtive distance of course, Akito had razor-sharp senses.

Hatori wasn't quite sure why he was doing this. Perhaps he felt guilt at not being at his side constantly anymore.

The troubling thing was, the more he watched Akito, the less he was watching and the more he was admiring. He was in awe.

How could anyone not see this? Kami, have I been blind or ignorant all this time?

Akito truly WAS a God.

He was a divinity of opposites: beneath that sickly pallor was luminescence, behind every pained strained movement, exquisite grace, behind that black gaze, dark intensity. And so much more. Hatori's heartbeat quickened whenever he thought about the small, aching details that he knew about the Sohma lord and were hidden to everyone else.

Such as the silky gloss of Akito's hair in moonlight. That little bone in his ankle that twitched in his sleep. That milky slope of shoulder and spine that was revealed when his yukata hung sloppily around his waist. Every shiver, every glance, every absent brush of eyelashes reverberated and thundered in Hatori's skull. Only known to him, to him.

And, when no one was around, in the small hours of the morning, he let his mind creep back to that fateful day, which had caused so much pain and wonder. The Dragon allowed himself to slowly devour those first apple-sweet moments, before Akito's rage. That bare back. That slender body. Those matted lashes.

What is this? What am I doing?

He asked himself that again and again.

Hatori broke through his afternoon Akito-daze when he heard a door slide open. Cautiously he peered around the tree he was leaning against to look at Akito's porch, and stiffened. The boy was standing there, looking about. Hatori hunkered down but he was hidden by greenery and the god's onyx eyes past over him.

Hatori did an unconscious medical scan of Akito. Old habits were hard to break.

Colour: pale, wan, more so then usual. Pupils: too much distance to tell. Skip eyes, ears and wait until he happens to speak to assess throat condition. Chest and lungs: he's coughing from his lungs…bronchitis? Does Kiro know about this? Physique: thin…almost elegantly slender…ah! Stop! ... Blood pressure: unknown. Right wrist: broken. Because of me.

Unaware of this monologue, Akito slowly stepped off his porch and padded barefoot into the warm grass. The sun was shining hotly, brightly, and he squinted through his layer of bangs. Minekura had warned him against going out in such a heat, but Akito had responded that he was God, and if he wanted to go and fry his brains out he would. Anything to get away from his stuffy room.

Down to the small pond then, his yukata whispering over grass and leaves. Small twigs and stones nipped his feet but he could care less. He cut a demure figure, head bowed, sleeves and yukata trailing in his wake, gracefully walking along the pond's edge.

Bluegreen eyes watched him.

The sun really was hot. Akito was sweating already. With an irritated noise he shoved his yukata back from his shoulders, and tilted his head up, squinting. Bad idea. The light clawed under his eyelids and sent shooting pain through his forehead. He sat with a grunt, rubbing his eyes.

Why does anyone go outside at all?

Oh yes, he knew his Dragon was watching him. He was out of sight but not out of mind, Akito was attuned to the animal presence of his Zodiac and felt Hatori's distinct aura. It annoyed him that the man was so near. Yet he couldn't bring himself to call Hatori out.

And the Dragon's devotion was almost pathetic at this point. Akito hid a smirk. He can't forget me. He can't erase his guilt.

He held up a finger. A sparrow immediately alighted on it, and the boy brought it closer to his face.

Hatori gazed as another bird landed on his broken wrist, its sleight weight not bothering the god. It twittered. Two more landed and watched this pale, familiar human through beady eyes. The doctor was enraptured. He rose to his knees, and crept a little closer, so he could see Akito's profile.

Eventually Akito sneezed and birds scattered. He flopped back with a small groan, yukata sliding off his arms. The sight of his exposed milky body set strange shivers up Hatori's spine.

After about twenty minutes of gazing (Akito appeared to be asleep, left arm thrown over his face), the Dragon grew worried. The Sohma lord wasn't used to such heat and Hatori was anxious that he would suffer heat stroke if left alone any longer.

Then Akito groaned.

He twitched and opened sun-hammered eyelids. Awake, he realised he was so hot! How long had he been out here? Akito rolled over to one side, blinking furiously. Even his eyelids were hot. And when he tried to focus…

Hidden by trees, Hatori was a few seconds short of having a panic attack. The god was disoriented, mumbling and scrabbling feebly at the grass-roots. The heat had found him. Hatori was torn between running for Kiro and running over himself and dragging Akito indoors. He crouched in the undergrowth, paralyzed.

---

Where…? On the bank. My face…hot. My hands, my sides, my innards…hot. Grass. The shade where? Inside where? What do I? My sight grey blurry shapeless shapes sliding floating why?

Hot

Afraid. weak

Head spinning. Where is…Hatori Minekura doctor help. Help me. Someone

Shapeless mouth dry

Someone comes.

Minekura?

Pale hands not mine. Gripping tugging pulling. Voice yelling. Not…

Ha to ri?

I see you. I see you eyes grey bluegreen afraid. Near me. You are near me you are near me

Inside where shade where I need

Brown hands bull voice help me. Hatori where?

Leaving.

Backing away eyes afraid. Of touching me. Ha tor i

don't leave

don't go

shade

stay

don't leave me

darkness

dampness

Don't

gone

---

It was lucky; Kiro thought later, that Hatori had been watching Akito. Kiro thought he might. Akito had sent him away, saying he wanted to enjoy the gardens in peace. It was lucky Hatori had seen him. It was unlucky that Akito had a minor case of heat-sickness.

He moistened a cool cloth and gently wiped the boy's forehead. An IV had been set up to administer necessary electrolytes. Akito didn't stir.

Late afternoon approached. The doctor became aware of a haggard shape hovered poised as a question mark in the doorway.

"Come in, Hari," he said quietly. "I don't think he can recognise anyone now."

"I don't think I should," answered the shape.

"Then come in and give me a second opinion, even though I know I'm right and it's heat-sickness."

Hatori hesitated, fidgeted, sighed, walked in. He approached Akito as if approaching a dying king. Fingers hesitated hovering above the dry sheets.

Akito's eyelids fluttered.

The Dragon stopped.

"I shouldn't be here –"

Kiro snapped him around. "He can't see you. I know what heat-sickness is like. Stay, Hari, give me your opinion and then you can leave."

Hatori closed his eyes briefly, composed himself. Stay calm. This is work.

He checked the thin fast pulse (skin still warm), ran tense fingers over the flushed cheeks, and checked the body temperature (98.5 degrees Fahrenheit). Akito's dry and cracked lips glistened with salve.

"Heat sickness," he concurred shortly. Then added, "Ninety-nine percent probability." He had come top in their class, after all.

"Damn that one percent." Kiro chuckled.

Hatori looked from him to Akito, and felt something curl in his ribcage. "He's feverish. What have you done to cool him down?"

Kiro gave him a sidelong glance. "Everything, aside from dumping him in an ice bath. The shock would kill him."

The Dragon jumped at this irrelevant detail. Anything to keep the argument going, to stay in this room, with its sick occupant. "Well, a lukewarm bath could cause a slight downward gradient in temperature –"

"Let me tell you why that isn't my method, Ha'ri – "

Below, unnoticed, Akito stirred.

---

coolness

Oh icy coolness on my head

Where am I?

Voices

Pain

Why am I so weak? I'm lying down

Can't talk

voices

lowing

an ox a bullin this room? How?

another voice

I know this voice so calm so cold

Ha ri

You're herewhy are you here why

Will you leave again hari

You disobeyed me

Your God

"- causes chills. You're a quack, Ha'ri." A lowing laugh.

"He's your patient. I'm just warning you."

Akito began to cough. Eyelids fluttered, then opened, lightless eyes staring out at the world. His hand opened and closed reflexively, when he spoke it was with a wispy cracked voice.

"Ahhhrgg…haah…ah…"

Hatori lurched back.

"He's delirious," came Kiro's voice.

"Haaah…hah…haaaa…"

"I shouldn't – "

"Haa…to…ri…"

The doctor's mouth dropped open.

"Why….Hari…why…"

That was enough. Hatori turned and fled Akito's stuffy room, again, his medical coat flying white behind him. He ignored Kiro's shout.

Akito coughed, retched, rolled over and vomited in the basin beside his bed.

Why Hatori

did you come

---

The phone rang obnoxiously loud in Shigure's study. The Dog stopped his enthusiastic doodling of flowers and animals on his manuscript (semi-sorta completed) and snatched it, glad for the distraction, for any distraction. He thought it was Mii-chan, checking to see if he was working his tail off.

"Konichiwaaa!" he sang. "Yes yes, I am working, believe it or not, I was not doodling or gazing out the window or thinking of eating soba but incidentally –"

"Shigure," rasped the alien voice on the other end. "Shigure, I need to ask you a favour."

"Ehh?" Shigure frowned. The voice was familiar, it sounded ill but was not Akito's. "Ha-san?"

"Yes. I need…to tell you something."

The Dog let his breath out. Of course.

"You're in love with me, Ha-san. You hide it very well, but I had a hunch –"

"W-wha?" stuttered the voice on the line.

"- Aya thinks I'm wrong but that's just because he's in love with you but spring is in the air and the sap is rising is so is your –"

"Shigure!" Hatori yelled, "You perverted hentai I am not in love with you but I have a crisis and I'm asking for help and will you listen to me!"

"Oh no!" Shigure pouted, refusing to be drawn out of his good mood. "That's terrible, Hari! Tell me all about it. Whose heart did you break this time?" he teased.

Silence.

The Dog cradled the phone. "Ha'ri? Hellooo? I'm sorry," he said quickly, "I'm sorry –"

"It's Akito."

"…Ah."

"It's bad, Shigure."

Shigure sucked in his breath. "You mean…he's…"

"No. But this is just as bad." Hatori's voice was low and miserable.

"What is it?"

"I hurt him, Shigure."

The Dog dropped his pencil. "You…what?"

"I should have told you and Aya this sooner…it was three days ago….God and fuck I don't know what to do…"

The Dog sobered. When Hatori started swearing it was a bad sign. "Tell me what happened, Hari. As calmly as you can."

Hatori let his breath out. Shigure would be there for him after all. "He was shouting. He was angry with me. He tried to hit me, and I grabbed his wrist. I…"

"Go on."

"He was fighting back," the Dragon continued miserably, "He was trying to tear himself away…I was trying to hold him still and was squeezing him tightly…too tightly…Shigure…I broke his wrist."

"And then what?" Shigure coaxed, but he could imagine too well the 'what'.

"I'm not his doctor anymore. He refuses to even look at me, Shigure. I had to call in another doctor…a friend of mine…Shigure, I don't…"

"Everything's going to be ok, Ha-san." Shigure winced at this pathetic lie.

"Can I…come stay at your place for awhile?" Hatori tried not to sound like a cringing child.

"Well of course, Ha-san!" came the gleeful voice from the receiver, "If you want I'll just turf Kyo-kun out of his room and you can stay there! He can sleep on the roof, he's always there anyway. Cats like high places."

"No, you don't have to do that –"

"No friend of mine will sleep on the floor and you're certainly not bunking in my study, it's too messy," Shigure declared. "Unless…well, you can sleep with me, Ha-san!"

Hatori ignored his drawling, gleeful tone. "No."

"Ha-san is so mean. So I'll pick you up today?" Shigure gabbled as if Hatori's life hadn't been completely and utterly destroyed, "It's about 1:00 now and if you get ready and pack some things and I'll be there at 2:00! Yes?"

"I…" Hatori was left floundering in Shigure's enthusiastic wake, "I…I suppose…"

"Wonderful! Now…" Shigure paused and lowered his voice, "are you going to tell Akito?"

The doctor froze. I should. He'd want to know. Will he agree? He doesn't… He swallowed. "Akito doesn't want to see me."

"Well, have your doctor friend give him a message. If it's that bad, Ha-san, then Akito, ah, probably won't mind if you left for a few days. Since he…doesn't want to see you. You need a break, Hari, from the monotony of the Main House, and come to my house for some non-existent peace and quiet!"

"Uh…"

"Akito won't be calling you," the Dog stated reasonably, "He has another doctor." He then resorted to whining. "Oh pleeeaase Hari! We'll call Aya as well and you'll forget all about Akito!"

Hatori paused at this.

"It's 1:10, Hari. Start packing and relay your messages and so forth." Shigure cleared his throat. "Don't worry," he continued in a more serious tone, "Everything will work out, Hari. You'll see."

"Yes," came a relieved Dragon, "Thank you, Shigure."

"Of course!" They exchanged goodbyes and Hatori hung up.

He stared at the black receiver for a long time.

I need this. I need to forget about him.

He went looking for Kiro, and spoke to him quietly, trying to hide his guilt. You don't need me to be here? No. He would be fine. Go rest, Hari, it's what you need. If you're sure. Yes. If he asks, tell Akito where I am? Yes of course. He avoided Kiro's gaze.

Two o'clock came and went.

---

"I heard a car pull up this afternoon."

The kneeling, broad-shouldered figure didn't respond. Nothing was being asked of him.

"No one came to see me. No one's told me anything."

Silence.

"Tell me what you know, Minekura."

"The one called Shigure came here briefly," the Ox answered dutifully, wondering how much of Hatori he could leave out of this, "I didn't see him personally, I saw him from a distance."

Akito narrowed his eyes. Shadows fled from the corners and gathered in his pupils.

"What did that mutt want? He only comes here to see me…and…" Akito sucked his breath in, "And the Dragon."

"Yes," Kiro replied carefully, "Shigure came to visit H- the Dragon."

Akito slowly shifted and swung his legs off the bed. Kiro was about to speak but Akito waved him off. The clan-head tottered forward few steps, leaning on the bed. His body remained sun-drugged and heavy. He semi-collapsed on his knees in front of the doctor and stared into his eyes.

"There's so much you're not telling me, Minekura. Oxen such as yourself were never very good at lying." Akito shook his head. "Patient, slow, and stupid. Worthless."

Kiro watched Akito sway back and forth.

"I will find out, you know," the boy continued conversationally, "I have my informants everywhere. I sit in the centre of my Zodiac web and they bring tidbits to me. So tell me everything, Minekura, and save yourself a lot of pain.

"I know you're not a Sohma. Why he even thought to bring you here is beyond me. You're too much of a risk. You're dispensable, Minekura. One day I shall rinse my hands of you."

Mellow, tawny eyes stared patiently back. Akito felt his rage rise.

"Look at you. You're not afraid: you owe me nothing. Your life doesn't depend on mine, you care for me because it's your job. How much are we paying you?"

"I am not being paid to care for you, Akito-sama."

"So you're doing it out of charity?" Akito sneered.

"Yes. And for the Dragon."

The god was silent for a while. He could feel anger brimming in his every pore and he loved it.

"As long as you're in the Main House, you're going to be treated like a Sohma. Which means you will answer my questions truthfully, Minekura. Now…" Akito purred, "when Shigure left, doctor, was he alone?"

Kiro shook his head. 'If he asks, will you tell Akito where I am?'

"Then who was with him?"

He couldn't avoid it any longer. "Hari was."

Three charged seconds.

"Why?" the god said silkily.

"I don't know."

"Was he packed? Did he bring belongings with him?"

"Yes."

Akito was twitching, eyes glazed. "You left me…" he moaned to no one, "you left me…you left me to suffer, you shunned my authority and you left me, Hatori!"

Kiro suddenly felt five bloodless fingers in his neck.

"And you let him leave."

"……"

"Will you betray me as well!" Akito roared, "Are you so much like Hatori! Do you like him! Well this is what he received when he first betrayed me!"

Ceramic shards cascaded around them, blood spattered to the carpet.

"Now," Akito hissed, drunk on power, "this is what is going to happen. You tell no one what I just did. Especially not him. You don't want that on your conscience, do you? And guess what." The god yanked Kiro's chin up.

"You are now mine, Kiro Minekura. I've made my mark. And every day that passes, I'm going to mark you a little more, little by little, until he returns. That's your punishment for conspiring with him. Your punishment for involving yourself with the Sohmas."

He released Kiro. "Remember where your loyalties lie. Get up. Clean yourself up. Then give me some medication for my lungs. Do it."

The doctor did what he was told.

Later, he privately wondered how a sick boy could move so fast. Akito had blurred.

Perhaps the old legends were not lying. The Zodiac gods kept in harness strange, old powers.

I'm so sorry, Ha'ri. I couldn't protect you.

A/N: Next chapter will be Ha-san at Shii-chan's house, Akito experiencing Ha-san withdrawal, and Ha-san pining for Aki-san! And tension of all sorts! Review!