Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Summary: Ikari Shinji. A deck of cards. Six different opponents. Six games of cards, six discussions. Six chances for Shinji to learn something about the world and chaos surrounding him.
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This story deals with some very unpleasant things. If this disturbs you, don't read.
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit mangled version of this fic on fanfiction dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com instead!
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+
Heh, y'know, I was actually planning on a one-shot Shinji/Misato fic with plenty of lemony goodness when I first started writing on this fic. Didn't turn out that way and half-way through it, I decided to take it in another direction. Instead of Shinji and Misato doing the naked pretzel, this'll become a short six-chapter drama/humour series with Shinji playing cards with the six main ladies of NGE. Misato, Ritsuko, Maya, Rei, Asuka and Hikari.
Funny how things work out, isn't it? Oh well, I will make an extended NC-17 rated special/alternate version of it, where the games turn distinctively more naughty then they will in this version. But for now, the perverts amongst you will just have to wait a while longer for some lemony goodness out of me, as all that's left from my original lemony intentions are some relatively innocent citrus-scented passages in three of the chapters.
"Misato should pick up her own dry cleaning." Shinji groused as he strolled into NERV and jumped onto an elevator that would take him part of the way down to the Geofront, carrying a bag filled with just mentioned dry cleaning in addition to the school bag on his back. She had called him earlier and asked that he pick it up for her, so he had to leave school earlier in order to do so, faking a NERV issue to get out of class.
Not that he really minded that, as it got him away from another boring second impact lesson. It also meant that he didn't walk to NERV with Rei and Asuka, which he didn't know if he minded or not. Asuka was... Well, Asuka. Pleasant some of the time, unpleasant most of the time. And Rei, who was neither. She was just, well, weird. He couldn't call the time spent with her either pleasant or unpleasant, it was mostly just incredibly odd. The exceptions to this rule were very few and very far between, though he had to admit that when they occurred, they were far more often pleasant rather then unpleasant.
Very pleasant indeed, he thought as he recalled visiting her apartment and winding up on top of a very naked Rei with one of his hands on her chest.
Though that particular incident had also been incredibly discomforting and disquieting. He was still surprised that Rei hadn't bashed his brains out for going into her apartment without permissions, messing with her stuff, seeing her naked and fondling her naked breast.
Oddly enough, the only thing she seemed to have minded was that he messed with her glasses.
Weird girl.
"Hey! Hold the elevator!" he called out as he left the first set of elevators and saw the elevator doors for the second set across the hallway about to slide shut, rushing towards them. He stepped inside and blinked as he came face to face with his guardian. "Misato-san! Hi." he said, neither of the two noticing Kaji who also had been running towards the elevator. Though as he saw Shinji enter the elevator, he shrugged and stopped. He had no real business leaving the floor, but had seen Misato enter the elevator and figured that some time one-on-one with her would be just the thing to break the dull monotone of his work for a while.
But while he liked Shinji well enough, goofing off with both Shinji and Misato present for a little while wasn't all that appealing. Instead, he changed directions. Hadn't someone said something about a new girl over at Public Relations being very cute? If he couldn't have fun with Misato, a little harmless flirting with the new girl should be an adequate consolation prize.
But as the power suddenly went out and didn't come back, he found himself regretting his decision. Being stuck in an elevator with Shinji and Misato for an extended time would probably have been a very amusing experience. Not to mention, it'd give him a perfect excuse for not working for a while. While he figured that flirting was a perfectly legitimate way to spend his time, his superiors didn't tend to agree with him!
"Shin-chan. Oh, you've got my clothes!" Misato exclaimed with fondness and gratitude. "Thank you!" she gushed happily.
For a few moments, Shinji considered raising the issue of Misato picking up her own damned laundry for once, but his resolve melted under her grateful gaze.
"No problem, Misato-san." he mumbled, then blinked as the elevator stopped and the lights went out. "Huh? A power outage? We're stuck?"
"Not to worry." Misato said. "The Geofront has three separate power sources. Main, Sub and Auxililrary. For all three to fail at the same time isn't possible. We'll be moving again before you know it."
"Uh... We're still not moving..." Shinji murmured after a few moments when nothing had changed.
"Huh? That's odd..." Misato mumbled and pressed the emergency button in the elevator, but didn't get a response. She tried her NERV-issue cell phone, but didn't get a dial tone. "No power from either of the three systems and no reception... This just isn't possible. Not this shit again!" she cursed, slamming her fist against the doors of the elevator.
"Sabotage?" Shinji ventured after a few moments.
"Must be." Misato agreed, trying to remain calm, for Shinji. She felt like screaming, ranting or panicking, but couldn't while he was here. She swallowed nervously, she wasn't all that fond of elevators to begin with and with the power gone, being stuck in one, was something she really wasn't fond of!
While she didn't have full-blown claustrophobia, or so she claimed during her psyche evaluations, being stuck in that tiny rescue pod after Second Impact certainly hadn't helped to ingrain any real fondness for enclosed spaces in her!
Though being stuck with Shinji in an elevator was vastly preferable over being stuck with Kaji like she had been the last time.
"What should we do?" Shinji inquired.
"Try to get to the bridge." Misato replied after mentally reviewing the emergency procedures. She looked around the elevator, but didn't find anything that could help her figure out a way to do just that at first. Then she spotted the roof hatch she and Kaji had tried to use last time. She looked over at Shinji, then down at herself. While he wasn't all that big, she didn't think that she'd be able to lift him. "Uh, Shinji... Do you think that you could... Lift me up?" she asked.
"Uh..." he commented with a surprised expression, looking up at the hatch, then back at her, judging her size and trying to guesstimate her weight. "I can try..." he offered hesitantly and crouched down, taking deep breaths.
"I am rather light, y'know..." Misato muttered under her breath as she straddled him, putting his head between her legs. "I'm not fat..." she told herself in a low mutter.
"Ready?" Shinji asked, not having heard or wisely deciding to ignore her comments for fear of being slapped in case he commented in the negative about her supposed near-weightlessness.
"Ready." Misato affirmed, then sucked in a deep breath of her own as he started to stand up, hoisting her up into the air. She slowly stretched out and raised her arms as high as she could, but fell short of the hatch by almost two decimetres. She looked down, but Shinji was standing straight. He couldn't get her much further up then she already was. Certainly not high enough for her to reach the hatch. "I can't reach it. You might just as well put me down." she said with a sigh and Shinji hastily crouched down again, suppressing the desire to exhale with relief as he was relieved of the load he had shouldered.
"Guess there's nothing for it but wait." Shinji sighed and sat down, leaning against the wall.
"Yeah." Misato agreed after a few moments, sitting down beside him.
They sat together in companionable silence for ten minutes or so, before Misato started fanning herself and removed her jacket.
"Geesh, it's hot!" she complained, pulling her top away from her body which had grown progressively sticky. "If this is going to be a recurring event, I'm going to request diesel-powered AC units for all the elevators." she muttered darkly, wondering just what it was about her and getting stuck in elevators.
"Yeah..." Shinji agreed, swallowing nervously as he glanced at his guardian out of the corner of his eyes. He was starting to feel a little hot himself, though that had very little to do with the temperature and very much to do with how sexy Misato looked at the moment.
Not that she didn't look hot just about anytime, except perhaps right after getting out of bed all bleary-eyed and with a haggard expression, itching for her first beer. But she looked particularly hot right now and there was precious little else to focus at other then her, as he'd exhausted the possibilities of looking at anything else after the first five minutes in the elevator.
"I don't suppose you're packing a deck of cards or something?" Misato eventually asked, leaning her head back against the wall as she stared up at the roof.
"I am, actually." Shinji sheepishly confessed as Misato looked inquisitively at him due to his unexpected response. "Ritsuko-san has been held up by my father a few times before my tests, so I've taken to bringing a deck of cards to play Solitaire by myself or poker with Maya-san while I wait." he explained.
"Playing poker with Maya during work hours, Shin-chan? Corrupting supposedly hard-working NERV employees, are we?" Misato growled playfully, putting Shinji in a headlock and rapping her knuckles against the top of his head.
"Didn't Ritsuko mention something about you instigating an office-chair race last week?" Shinji inquired, refusing to let the older woman intimidate him.
Much.
He did appreciate the lovely close-up view of her chest that his current position offered, however.
"Well... That's different. Hmpf!" Misato protested with a flustered expression on her face as she let him go. "Poker, huh? Well, whip 'em out and I'll show you why I was referred to as the Poker Queen of our dorm at university!"
"Uh-huh. I think Ritsuko-san might have mentioned your gambling ability once when she was finally ready for one of my harmonics test, interrupting a game with me and Maya. I don't recall hearing her refer to you as Poker Queen, however." Shinji commented as he pulled out the cards, extracting them from the card-board container and giving them a quick shuffle. "I believe she mentioned something about The Legendary Drunken Sucker, however." he added, causing Misato to become even more flustered.
"Doesn't Ritsuko ever talk about something other then me?" Misato grumbled in annoyment.
"Oh, sure she does." Shinji replied with a faint grin. "Sometimes she talks about you and Kaji."
"Fine! A hundred yen ante?" Misato inquired, pulling out her wallet.
"I just got paid, so, sure." Shinji replied after a few moments. Not that it really mattered if he hadn't, as he hardly ever spent his pilots pay on anything anyway. A few games down at the Arcade with Toji and Kensuke, some snacks from time to time, but not anything much otherwise. He probably had more of his salary left at the end of the month then Misato did, considering how much money she spent on beer, food'n penguin chow, beer, gasoline ( a real luxury in these troubled times ), beer, snacks, beer, rent and beer.
The game progressed well, for Shinji. While Misato didn't live up to the 'Drunken' part of her university nickname at the moment, she did live up to the 'Sucker' part, loosing badly against him. Shinji wasn't a very good player, but neither was she. And as a compliment to her lousy skills, she had an atrocious poker face, clearly displaying the value of her hand. If she didn't have anything, it showed. If she only had a non-dressed pair, she managed to keep a somewhat neutral expression. Anything from a clothed pair up to a straight and she couldn't conceal her smile. Anything above a straight, and her shit-eating grin was impossible to miss.
With such clear signals, even such a bad player as Shinji couldn't help but to do well once he learned her expressions. Very well.
Which was the reason why Misato suddenly found her wallet empty, all her money piled before Shinji's crossed legs.
"AAAahhhhhh!" Misato growled in frustration, before a notion struck her. "Strip poker! Every item of clothing is worth five thousand yen!" she suggested, then yanked off both her shoes and threw them between the two of them.
"S-s-s-s-st-s-strip poker!" Shinji exclaimed nervously, edging away from his irate guardian with a shocked expression on his face. He looked at the pile of money before him, containing somewhere around fourteen thousand yen. He narrowed his eyes. "One thousand yen per item." he countered.
"Four!" Misato protested.
"Two." he argued.
"Three-five." she insisted.
"I think three will do just fine." he said and the two of them locked gazes for a couple of seconds, before Misato nodded, now confident in her impeding victory. As flustered as Shinji had gotten by the mere suggestion of strip poker, he'd no doubt start playing like crap and she could win back her money and get him naked, all in one fell stroke. She snickered to herself, as Shinji dealt.
After having lost her shoes, the jacket which she had slipped on again after betting her shoes, skirt, top and nylons, she started to grow slightly nervous as she sat there in nothing but her panties and brassiere, while Shinji still had all the money and a pile of her clothes resting comfortably beside him.
He was flustered, no doubt about that. He was almost permanently red in the face, stuttered madly and swallowed audibly every time his gaze shifted from her face down to his cards. So, she was having a great effect on him.
But he still won!
She just couldn't understand it, how was it that he managed to win so much? If it hadn't been for the fact that she dealt half of the hands, she would have suspected him of cheating. But it seemed that he won just as much no matter who dealt. But what few hands he did loose, didn't cost him much and he easily won back whatever he lost in a matter of one or two hands.
"Feel l-like g-gi-g-g-giving u-up yet?" he stuttered out, his gaze locked on her face, not dipping down an inch at the view offered to him. If he hadn't been so affected, she would have suspected that he was gay. She glanced down at herself and nodded in satisfaction, temporarily overcoming her embarrassment with pride.
She sure was a looker! Firm stomach, the daily workout she snuck in over the course of her working day kept her in shape despite her regular diet of beer and instant meals. Her stomach was flat. Her complexion was flawless except for the scar on her torso. Her thighs were smooth and curved in all the right places. Her breasts had been graced with volume, firmness and a certain gravity-defying quality, which gave them a youthful perkiness and no visible sign of sagging.
"Yeah!" she exclaimed. "I'm one hot babe!" she announced to the world. Which at the moment, consisted solely of Misato herself, Shinji and the elevator they were locked in.
"N-n-n-no d-doubt about it. But you're one lousy poker player." Shinji said, red in the face and surprised at her sudden outburst. "Want to give up?" he repeated.
"Hell, no!" she protested. "I'm gonna whip your butt, Shin-chan!" she proclaimed, shaking her fist in the air. "Now, deal!"
"Uh... But you've only got... Two things left to bet..." Shinji mumbled in acute embarrassment.
"I'm putting my bra on the line!" she said with a feral smirk. "My blue... Lacy... Bra..." she purred, causing Shinji's blushing cheeks to turn another couple of shades darker red.
"I'll see your bra." Shinji replied, pushing three thousand yen towards her.
"You're already seeing it, aren't you?" Misato teased with a sultry purr, hoping to rattle Shinji even further then he already was. So what if she was playing dirty, considering how far behind she was, surely she could be forgiven that, couldn't she? After all, all was fair in love and cards, or so she thought she'd heard someone say at one time or another. Her memory was a little fuzzy, as she probably had been slightly tipsy at the time.
Of course, if Misato claimed to be slightly tipsy, everyone else would refer to it as roaring drunk.
Five minutes later, Misato found herself blushing furiously as Shinji shakingly accepted her discarded brassiere and carefully put it amongst his other winnings, blushing just as furiously as she was.
"W-w-w-well... I guess you're g-g-gonna y-yield?" Shinji stuttered with a faintly hopeful note in his voice, though he wasn't entirely sure if he'd be relieved or disappointed if she decided to continue.
Misato hesitated for almost half a minute, debating with herself. While he was nervous as hell, sweating rivers and had a panicked look in his eyes, he still managed to win! While she felt fairly confident that she could beat the crap out of this nervous wreck of a boy, she had felt that way before as well and he still won. What if he did so now as well? She'd be naked!
"The panties should be worth at least eight thousand, don't you agree, Shin-chan?" Misato finally drawled, causing Shinji to stutter nonsensical sounds for a couple of seconds, before he merely felt silent and trembled. "I guess I'll take that as agreement. Deal. I'm in."
A few minutes later, Misato slowly stood up with a shocked expression on her face and shiveringly removed her panties while sporting a full-body blush. Of course, Shinji wasn't much better off either.
The lights suddenly came and Misato froze in mid-motion with her panties pulled down to her calves, leaning forward as much as she could in order to hide herself from Shinji's view for as long as humanly possible. The elevator shook for a few moments and started to move again, the unexpected movement causing Misato to loose her balance.
"Ah!" Shinji yelped as he suddenly found himself facing a rapidly descending Major Katsuragi as she toppled forward, his hands moved forward of their own accord and landed on her shoulders, preventing her from head butting him. Unfortunately, he wasn't strong enough completely halt her forwards and downwards motion. "Ow!" he grunted as she instead of head butting his head, head butted his stomach.
Ding+
"Mi-Misato!"
Misato kept her eyes closed and took a deep breath, then she opened them again, getting a perfect view of Shinji's tented trousers just before her eyes. She slowly looked to her side, coming face-to-face with a stunned Doctor Akagi, a furiously blushing Maya hiding her face behind a thick folder, a flabbergasted Kaji, an impassive Rei, two elevator technicians with their mouths open and eyes bulging out of their sockets and Asuka, who was too angry and/or surprised to react in any other manner then slowly opening and closing her mouth, with a look of disgust in her eyes.
"I thought you said that you wouldn't seduce him!" Ritsuko finally exclaimed.
"I'm not! We're just playing poker!" Misato wailed and hastily pulled her panties back up with such speed that she couldn't help but wonder if she'd get friction burns from it. She also gratefully accepted her jacket that Shinji wrapped around her torso, using that to cover up her bare upper body. "Look away you perverts so I can get dressed!" she shouted, as the group outside the door just kept gawking at her, kneeling between Shinji's legs dressed only in panties and holding her red jacket up in front of her body.
Ding+
The elevator doors closed and the elevator started moving again, Misato and Shinji staring emptily ahead of themselves at the doors, until their gazes simultaneously shifted to each other.
"What say you we never mention this incident, ever again?" Misato suggested as she slowly got back onto her feet.
"Fine with me." Shinji agreed, handing over the rest of Misato's clothes, which she gratefully accepted.
"Excellent." Misato said and hastily pulled everything back on again with Shinji politely having turned his back against her. "Any plans for the evening?" she inquired, desperately trying to change the subject, and was met with complete silence for a couple of moments.
"How about a game of poker back at the apartment?" he asked, causing her to spin around and glare at his wide grin.
"In your dreams, Shin-chan. In your dreams..." she muttered, not at all pleased at being on the receiving end of teasing for once.
The End! ( For now... )