Howdy everyone, yes, I know it's been a long time since I updated this. I was planning on updating this months back but never got motivated enough to put in the effort. So now I have a plan, when it's lunch period at school, I run off to the library and work on it there. So here we are, the next exciting, and long awaited chapter of 'Watch Duty Sucks!'

Effects of Alcohol

Rufus Shinra is dead, Meteor is on its way to obliterate the planet, and Sephiroth is still out there in his own little world plotting to become one with the planet. How do you prepare against something that holds the fate of the world in the balance? How do you gather the courage to stand up against all odds, and fight that one last battle? For the group Avalanche, there's only one possible way of pressing forward and come out victorious in the end. There's only one way that they can truly come together as one and stand up against a powerful entity.

"God damnit! What the hell is taking so long brat?" The expert pilot of Rocket Town, Cid Highwind, barked as he waited patiently for the fire to start.

Yuffie, expert thief extraordinaire, was at the receiving end up his building fury, holding two small dried sticks in her hands, which she had been rubbing together for the past twenty minutes. "It's just warming up alright? Give it a minute, gees." Her annoyance was clear to pick up on in her voice.

"Face it brat, yo can't do it." Barret too was growing impatient, standing next to Cid as he watched Yuffie like a hawk.

"I said I could make a damn fire with two sticks, and that's what I'll do." Yuffie had made a bet of two thousand Gil with them that she could start a fire with just two sticks. The argument had lasted a good hour or so, before the three decided that Yuffie will prove it when they reached camp.

Yuffie of course, agreed to it, not ever being one to back down. So the three are currently huddled near the fire pit; waiting for Yuffie's fire to start up. Cid and Barret are there to make sure she doesn't cheat by casting a Fire spell on the sticks.

"Cid, Barret…" The two men turned around at the sound of their blonde leaders voice.

Yuffie paused in her work as she glanced up to stare at their leader briefly, now would be the opportune time to cast of Fire spell, if only magic didn't have to be called out. Her gaze settled on Red XIII's form laying on the ground a little in front of the fire pit, her eyes fixing on his tail. She smiled deviously as she leaned over the fire pit and held out a stick, holding it above the tip of Red XIII's tail. The small flame on Red XIII's tail was enough to light Yuffie's little dried up stick. She pulled it back, made it look like she had still been rubbing them together.

"AH HA! Take that you old geezers!" She announced victoriously, holding up the fire.

Barret and Cid both turned around at the same time to see the ninja with her fire. "Damnit, you cheated."

Cloud shook his head, "Anyway, they arrived."

"Oh goody…" Yuffie muttered under her breath.

One hour later

Yuffie's P.O.V.

I knew for the longest time that Spikes isn't one of the brightest guys out there. I mean, it's pretty obvious. He's made lots of stupid mistakes, or suggested ideas that were just asinine, but this beats the cake. Here we are, Avalanche, in our happy little group, waiting for the world to be flattened into a pancake by Meteor, unless by some miracle we kick Sephiroth's pretty boy ass. And who other than the Turks are here to join us. You have baldy, otherwise known as Rude, as the silent one. Elena, being the pretty little girl, than you have the jackass. He likes to go by the name of Reno, I have no idea why, I think jackass suites him so much better.

"Why are we doing this again?" I whined, I know that I can get on the nerves of my followers, but I just don't like this idea. Am I a brat? Yes. But I can still kick ass like the rest of them, except I'm better. I'm not the greatest ninja ever to walk on the face of the planet for nothing. Nyuk! Nyuk!

Spikes as usual, gave out this little agitated sigh that, which will never be voiced out, I found completely adorable. There are a few things Cloudy can do that are adorable, the sigh, the confused scratch on the head, and then… Well I think that's about it. The rest are in separate categories.

"Shinra is gone, we've gathered up as a truce among the groups Yuffie." He's given me this answer probably five times in the past hour. When Reno and his little group arrived, the first thing he did was pull out a beer from the cooler he brought. Evidently, 'Bring something to the table' meant beer to him. And of course anything Reno does, Rude follows a step behind.

"What's the matter babe? Afraid of my rod?" Reno decided to question. Being that I'm seventeen, having had my birthday two months ago, I'm not as completely naive as I was when I was sixteen. Than again, having to hang around Cid, it's kind of hard to remain an innocent little girl. Oh my GAWD! I sound waaaaay too… um smart right now! It's making my head hurt. Okay, screw detailing of this. This is how it is, that was the clean version, this is the unedited version.

Reno is a Grade-A perverted jackass, who happens to be drunk out of his mind right now. He had several marks on his face from already trying to put the moves on his fellow Turk, and I don't mean Elena…. Then he tried putting the moves on Tifa, and well, that was just weird. I don't think Boobs was totally against the idea of sleeping with the never ending erection. GROSSNESS.

Reno is hot, I'll give him that. In a sleazy, dirty, perverted kind of way. He's nice to look at, but when his mouth opens up, it kills his potential good dream image. When he's drunk, he's amusing as hell however. He seems to crave for affection when he's drunk, hanging off of anyone near him. Barret had removed himself before the Turk could crawl into his laugh.

Reno isn't the only one drunk. Hee hee. I kind of… tricked good Ol' Cloudy into getting drunk. I wasn't serious about it, but he just takes any challenge. And seeing how Reno was already slightly drunk at the time, I figured Cloud would win in a drinking contest with him. Boy was I wrong. With four beers down, Cloudy was done, he refused to get any drunker. I was hoping he'd be a prancing ballerina as a drunk, I had a camera set and ready for pictures, for future blackmail of course.

Instead, he hardly acts any different. He acts more like Vincent I guess. Going all quiet and such, looking ever so mysterious. Speaking only when needed. Hmm… Spikes should take Vincent's role.

Speaking of Vincent, unlike most men who drink to get drunk, he's still on his first beer, I could tell he's only drank a little of it, sipping at it every now and then. I still say Vinnie is a vampire. And I hear vampires can't intake much of any substance besides blood, because it takes like.. a really long time to digest. Hmm… Looking between Spikes and Vinnie, I mentally switched them, gave them the other's clothes.

I had to laugh at mental image Vinnie in a purple mercenary uniform. I could picture the left sleeve being torn to shreds by his claw while trying to get the damn shirt on. I bet he'd squirm without having the safety of his cloak hiding most of his face.

I set Cloud into Vincent's outfit, and imagined him giving that serious I-going-to-kill-you look on his face. Oh GAWD, I could nearly faint. Hot! Hot! Hot! I think I'd die happily if I could get Cloud to do that. Mmmm… Cloudy.

Did I mention that I've been drinking as well? Tee hee. I managed to convince the others to let me drink. And we got Red XIII a bowl to let him drink as well. Have you ever seen a drunken wolf? Red XIII was definitely out there, his eyes were glazed over in that drunken manner, his head wobbled from side to side as he stood on his feet, just barely keeping himself on balance.

I turned my gaze over to Reno as he moved his seat next to me, I could smell the strong scent of liquor coming off of him, which I could have done without. I felt the weight of his arm as he put it around my shoulders. Being a bit zoned out in my own little world of material, I wasn't really listening to what he was saying, except I knew he was laughing, along with Cid and Barret. "Huh?"

"See? I told you." The Turk commented before laughing, Cid and Barret followed suite. The rest of them just seemed to not care. Reno turned his gaze to me once more, "Highwind and Wallace were wondering if you were even a girl. I told them no."

What the hell?

"You have no feminine bone in your body, you're complete brainless, and you couldn't strike a pose if your life depended on it. Therefore, female you're not."

Oh ho! He dares to insult the Great Ninja Yuffie? Maybe I should shove my shuriken straight up his… actually… He may enjoy that, "I can to strike a pose!" I just never tried before, and had no reason to, and had no idea on how to go about initiating a pose… But that's not the point.

Of course this only seemed to set Reno, Cid, and Barret off once again, even Cloud was giggling over on his log… Asshole. "Sure babe. I'd like to see you try that. Maybe you should take a few lessons from Lockheart first before trying."

Yes, take lessons from Tifa! That's what I'll do! Then I can dress in mini skirts, flash every person with each kick I do, and have boobs! And then I'll have the reputation as a slut which could or could not be true, and chase after a childhood friend, who was in actuality, some little dork that I did not give the time of day. What a great idea! Sarcastic? Me? Of course not…. Maybe a little… but learning how to fight with my fists does sound tempting. "Hmph! I don't need lessons! I can strike a pose!" Er…Okay… Now… What to do…

Normal P.O.V.

Yuffie pushed Reno's arm off of her shoulders and stood up. After taking a few steps away from him she turned to the group and just stood there for several moments. 'Okay… Now… If I were some fancy pants model, what would I do? Uh… Hmm… Oh wait! I know! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!'

The ninja brushed her fingers through her hair, smoothing it out a little and letting a few strands fall across her face. After leaning taking a small step back on her right foot she placed on hand on her hip; while the other rested across her thigh. She stood tall, stretching her back out, and puffing out her chest. Her lips twisted into a small smirk; between her teeth she held the tip of her tongue. She stood there like that and the camp became suddenly quiet.

When Yuffie was finished with the show, she glanced around to see the damage she's probably caused her; however, she was surprised as hell to see that Barret, Cid, and Reno were not laughing, in fact they seemed to be ogling her. Cid even had his mouth held open slightly, enough that his cigarette fell out and into his lap. Yuffie bit her bottom lip to contain her laughter before glancing over to Cloud. He was just starring at her, his brows raised in interest. Yuffie knew immediately that he knew what she had just done. She felt her cheeks heat up as she tilted her head down a bit to hide the growing blush.

"Alright, Yuffie!" Tifa called out jumping to her feet.

"Ha ha ha! That'll teach Reno to never question a woman." Elena joined in the happy little victory. Both women went to the embarrassed ninja to give her a pat on the back.

"Oh yeah…" Yuffie replied a bit lost.

"Tch.. Whatever." Reno turned and began sipping his beer once more, and the camping went back to normal.

Two hours later, while everyone seemed passed out. Yuffie took it upon herself to rob the Turks of their materia, finding it the opportune moment, which is when they were passed out drunk. She made sure not to drink too heavily for this exact reason. She thought she'd get something good, but was disappointed to find that their material… well… sucked to say the least.

While carrying the materia back to her tent in the far end of camp, she was grumbling about how big a waste of time it was to get their materia, 'Not even mastered. Piece of crap Cure, fire, and lightening materia. You'd think assassins would hold something worthwhile. Pssh.' Of course, it was easy to rob them because no one was in their tents, they were basically all passed out around the campfire. If Yuffie were a fiend, she'd attack them now.

Within the safety of her tent, she stuffed the materia inside of her black sleeping bag. "Making a new collection huh?"

Yuffie heard from behind her. She literally jumped at the voice, and spun around to see Cloud standing in front of her tent's exit. His arms were crossed and one brow was raised in question. "Geez Spikes. Make some noise while your coming would ya? GAWD! You scared the crap out of me."

He rolled his eyes at her, "What are you doing Yuffie?"

"Getting revenge." She said sweetly, as if it were an innocent act. "No body insults the Great Ninja Yuffie and gets off without paying up."

"I think you shut him up when you did the SOLDIER stance." His lips curled in amusement, "Although I didn't think it could look like that."

"Heh heh…." Yuffie gave a nervous laugh as she scratched the back of her head. She could feel her cheeks heating up again, 'Gawd damnit… Stupid friggen body. Work correctly damnit!' She ranted at herself, "Um… like what?"

Cloud tilted his head to the side slightly, giving an innocent look, "Do I look as hot when I do it?"

Yuffie burst out laughing, "Yeah right Spikes! No one can match me! I'm totally on a different level than you." 'As in, you're waaaaaaaay higher up there. Tee hee.' At that moment, the meaning of his question clicked in her head, "Wait… did you just say I looked hot?"

That annoying little smirk that Yuffie hates so much appeared on his face once again, 'Damnit! Stop it Cloudy! Not fair! Ahhh… Calm down Kisaragi… And whatever you do, don't jump him… Ack! Stupid effing teenage hormones. Die! Die! DIE!'

"What's wrong Yuffie?" Cloud asked, in a not at all worried manner.

Yuffie could tell he was getting kicks messing with her like this. 'Hmph! Two can play at this came. That stupid spikey-headed jerk.' The ninja cackled inwardly, as she stepped forward. She grabbed one of his arms and hugged onto it, hanging off of him like the late flowergirl used to do, "Why nothing Cloudy dearest. I was just a little surprised that you wanted me that much. I mean, I had my suspicions and all, but wow."

Cloud raised an eyebrow at her, the smirk never leaving his lips, "Well Yuff-Yuff…" Yuffie felt her brow twitch at the nickname, oh how she despised it. "…how could I resist? You ARE the Greatest Hottest Ninja Ever."

"Meh… I was born that way, it's my destiny to forever uphold that title." She bit her bottom lip to hold back the smile that was threatening to cross her lips as she raised a hand to his chest where she began tracing small circles. She could still smell the scent of alcohol lingering off of him, 'Hmm… I wonder how long a person stays drunk when they're… drunk. Is Cloud still drunk? He isn't acting like it, than again he isn't acting his normal jackass self either. Maybe he smoked something.'

Yuffie swallowed uneasily as she felt Cloud's arms encircle her small waist before she felt herself pulled to his chest. "Is that a fact?"

She heard him ask, though right now she wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. She was more focused on the sight of his lips moving. 'Grrrrrrr! Stupid body, stop freezing up! Fine! I give up! If he's drunk he won't remember it, and if he's not, I'll claim that I was drunk in the morning. Yeah! That's what I'll do!'

Yuffie let out a soft breath before she moved her arms up and rested them up on his shoulders leisurely. Her fingers brushed the through the blonde spikes as she slowly rose up on her toes, "…Yep." She barely whispered before pressing her lips against Cloud's. She felt her form get held even tighter against his body, obviously wanting her to stay where she was.

Inside, Yuffie had one thought running through her head. 'Muwahaha! I so kick ass! No one can best me… Mmm… Cloudy…. Heeheehee!'

"What the hell are you doing?" Barret's voice rang throughout the camp.

"I'm looking for my damn material!" Reno's voice cut in.

"Well it ain't going to be there you fool!"

"Could you two be quiet?" Vincent's voice was heard, obviously sounding annoyed, "I have a headache."

"Shut the hell up Valentine! Give me my god damn materia." Reno barked.

"I don't have it."

"Shut up and give it to me."

"I said I don't have your materia."

"YOU'RE LYING!" Reno's yell was drowned out by a howl.

"CHAOS!"

In the tent…

Well…

Cloud and Yuffie were laughing their asses off.

Ahh… Okay this chapter is done… was a bit of a flop. But I've been writing it all week during school, missing my lunch to do this. So cut me some slack. Hope you enjoyed it anyway everyone.