Chapter One: After His Death
By Skichik
Two days ago he died, I know I should be sad, and I am but it was the only way. He died for us all, a true and admirable martyr. I still love him, I know we'll meet again someday, at first he was scared to leave me, but I told him, if he lingers here he'd be here forever, and never again would he see any of us once we moved on; and so he moved on, to wait beyond the veil. I know that he'll be happy there, with his family and their friends, a time for him to know all that he missed out on, and we'll meet again.
Or at least that's what I try to tell myself, I'm crushed, I can't find the motivation to get out of bed each day. Every morning mum comes in and tries to convince me to get out of bed, she opens my curtains, as if to prove to me that the sun does still shine, and everyday I tell her that I'll get out of bed in time, but for now there is no point. After she leaves I pull the covers over my head and my body heaves with dry sobs, until exhausted I fall into a restless sleep again.
I looked around, the sun was shining, there was no life to be seen other than the grass which reached my waist. It was dry and golden in colour, it tickles my hands as I walk forward, I don't know where I was going, I was compelled to walk forward. Out of nowhere it seemed, there appeared a tree, suddenly finding the sun too hot I sought refuge in it shade. I sat down leaning against the tree, relaxing in the air.
After a few moments I heard approaching footsteps, I turned to see who crept through my dream. No one, I guess I'm going mad, even in my dreams I'm hearing footsteps approach, and my heart soars, thinking it's him come back to me, but it never is, it's just someone else, or my imagination.
"Guess who," hands covered my eyes.
"Harry?" I asked almost too scared to speak.
"Never could fool you." He commented as his hands moved away from my eyes, and wrapped around my shoulders.
"But if you could fool me, then it wouldn't be any fun, you wouldn't have to try." I laughed as I relaxed back into him.
For a while we just sat, I was so glad that he could still be with me in my dreams, it was so pleasant just laying against him under the tree.
"Harry, why are you here?"
"Because you need me."
"Thank you."
"Gin, please don't mope forever, I'm not coming back. You can always find me if you need me, you can always find me in your dreams. But you have to live your life."
"I will, just not yet, let me mourn for you a little while, then I'll get up."
"No, once you wake up you'll get out of bed; you'll go down and join your family."
"Please don't make me Harry, I'll get up in time, let me do this my way."
"Please, Gin, if you don't get up now, you never will, you'll waste away and never live the life I let you have."
"If I can't live it with you then I don't want it!"
"Don't say that, Gin, I gave my life so you might live, so all of you could live."
"Please Harry, stop this, I just want to mourn for a while, I promise I'll live for you, but let me do this first."
"Don't put it off Gin; you don't know what could happen."
"You know something that I don't, don't you?"
"A great many things, so trust me when I say get out of bed."
"Fine, but what's going to happen?"
"That's not something I can tell you, it's not my place."
"Fine."
Slowly as our conversation ended Harry began to fade, as did the rest of my surroundings. Slowly my dream faded.
I woke as the afternoon was waning, the sun shoe brightly through my window on the western wall of my room. My head screamed to pull the covers back over my head; instead I threw them back and sat on the edge of the bed. Carefully I stood and dressed before heading downstairs. Mum was busy cooking as always, she looked over as I reached the bottom stair.
"Good to see you out of bed love, are you eating with us tonight?"
"Would you mind if I ate in the garden?"
"Sure, we'll give you some space; just don't hold us at arms length forever."
"I won't I promise, I just need some time alone."
"I don't blame you. Why don't you go through to the lounge room and join Ron and Hermione?"
"I don't think I can face them yet, I'll talk to them later I promise."
"Okay dear, why don't you sit in the garden and I'll bring your dinner out?"
"Thanks mum." I gave her a weak smile as I headed out of the door into the garden.
I sat on a bench staring at the eastern horizon, watching the sun dip below the horizon, why did Harry so desperately want me out of bed? What's going to happen? A thousand questions raced through my head, none had any answers.
Mum brought me a small plate of food; I was glad that she told my brothers not to disturb me, she told them all to let me make the first move, to let me talk first. As I ate my meal I watched the sun disappear and still chased the questions in my head hoping that something would lead to an answer.
After diner I put my plate in the sink and headed into the lounge room, the only occupants were Charlie and George. They were deep in conversation as the half-heartedly played chess. I sat on the single seater by the fire, hoping they wouldn't want to talk.
They barely noticed my presence, and not because they were consciously trying, they were genuinely immersed in their game and chat. Finally as George won the game and they agreed to turn in, I turned to them.
"Hey, how were the celebrations?" I asked quietly, referring to the countless partied that followed the end of the war. I was too devastated to go.
"Ours was a subdued one, we lost too many to be happy." Charlie said as turned to me.
"You went to the Order's party?"
"Yeah, you should have come…" George trailed off as he realised what he'd said.
"I probably should have, I was just so upset, the thought of a party was too much, anyone being happy would have ruined me." I didn't notice when the tears began to flow.
"Gin, come here, it's alright." Charlie said as he wrapped his arms around me. In his embrace I felt safe, comforted even.
That was when I knew everything would be okay, the sun would shine again.
A/N: hey, well i'm back in business, after a long battle with writers block and lack of motivation, i'm churning out new ideas, this is one of three fics you can expect to see in the near future. At the moment this one is still very new in my head, i'll only continue writing if i know you're all reading, so please tell me what you think of this chapter, where do you think it's heading and so forth.
Skichik