1Chapter 3

Social Suicide

I do not own Inuyasha...obviously.

"These days...I barely get by, I don't even try..." Beck

Nathifa Femi: To answer you're question...I don't know...depends on how creative I feel.

To all the other reviewers: Thank you...and enjoy.

As Miroku laid on his couch, this cold universe spun around him. He was unable to stop the spinning and quickly awakened to his pager going off. He slowly reached for it out of his pocket and looked at the number on it. It was a hospital number, "FUCK!" He complained. He went to get the phone to call the hospital back and to see how big of an emergency it was. He picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Riiiiiiiiing, Riiiiiiing..."

"Hello this is nurse Higurashi speaking, how may I help you?" 'Thank Kami' Miroku thought.

"Hey Kagome, it's Miroku..." Her voice sounded cheerier. His just got sadder at her next question.

"How are you doing Miroku?" There a was about a minute of silence between them as Miroku contemplated what he was going to say.

"Not very good, actually."

"Oh, Miroku what's wrong?" She pried. He sighed.

"You don't want to know trust me." He laughed out of sheer irony of the whole situation.

"I'll tell you when I come into work one day."

"Okay, well Miroku?"

"Yeah?" He said.

"Just remember I'm always here for you..." He kind of smiled to himself.

"I will remember that, thanks Kagome. Do you guys need me up there?"

"Actually, yes, yes we do. Hatori is not getting along to well with the other doctor they temporarily assigned to him. I've been having to go in and talk to him to calm him down."

"Okay well I'm gonna take a shower and then I'll be right there."

"Okay, I'll see you soon doctor." Kagome replied cheerfully

"Alright, bye." Miroku hung up.

He made his way down the hall and to the bathroom, took off his clothes and jumped in the shower. He let the running water wash all his troubles away. He scrubbed violently at his skin to wash all of the pain away. He threw the hot water switch all the way over and turned off the cold water and turned around and let it scorch his backside. He screamed in agony and shut it off. 'What am I doing?' He asked himself. He stepped out and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes looked tired, an icy stare, glazed over look, messy hair, and a scowl is what he wore these days. A burned out soulless look didn't suit this gorgeous man at all, it looked outright foreign on his features. He stared for a couple more seconds and then grabbed a towel, wrapped himself in it and walked to his closet.

He fumbled through his clothes until he found a suitable outfit. It was a gray sweater and black dress pants, after all it didn't matter anyways. His white doctor's jacket hid his shirt anyways. He really did not want to go to work today, not in the state he was in, but at home he was alone and in such poor company. So he collected his provisions and headed out the door.

It was a long drive to work, or so it seemed that day. He finally arrived and stepped out of his car, he was chilly outside, and inside. He solemnly stepped towards the fortress dubbed hospital as he tried to collect his thoughts and hide his sadness. In the doors, to the elevators, take 'em to the 6th floor, step out, sign in, sigh, just another day. Just then Kagome walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped at the touch, human contact...

"Hello Miroku!" She said cheerfully. "How art thou?" 'How could she be so cruel' He thought, as his eyes welled up, he escaped. He started walking down the hall and the first room he came to he ducked in and closed the door. He fell to the floor, curled up in a ball and sobbed. He stood up swiftly and looked around at the room he was in, the medication surrounded him. He began looking at bottles, reading the names off of them. He found Oxycontin, he didn't even hesitate, he popped six, placed the bottle back where it was on the shelf and walked out of the room.

An hour into his work he began to feel dizzy, he walked away from the patient he was seeing and made it out into the hallway. The first thing he saw was Kagome, he looked into her eyes, tried to speak something and then fell forward hitting his head on the corner of a station counter. Kagome gasped and rushed to his side, he was out, she checked him and he wasn't breathing. She tried not to panic for the life of her, but her stomach felt queasy and she started shaking.

"Help! Please, somebody help him! Please! Somebody ...help..." People came running, it was all one big blur for everyone involved. They picked him up and rushed him into an ER room, laid him on the table, he was still. Doctors rushed in, they began CPR as they took blood samples. Doctors were yelling orders left and right, it sounded so jumbled to any onlookers who might have wandered in or past the room. After 3 whole minutes of him not breathing, a loud gasp could be heard throughout the room. He was breathing again, then came the sighs of relief. They ran multiple tests on him to find out what had happened and when the results came back, everyone was shocked. Kagome was the first to hear the head doctor discussing the results to the staff lead in his office.

They had said they found "large amounts of oxycodone in his blood," She watched as they shook their heads. "HE COULD HAVE KILLED HIMSELF! What was he thinking, I'm going to have to go talk to him now. Sit tight there." Kagome acted as if she was cleaning up something as the staff lead left the room and headed to where Miroku was. The staff lead stepped into Miroku's room where he was out cold again on the bed. He shook his arm several times until Miroku shot up out of a dead sleep. He looked up and immediately shivered when he saw who it was standing before him. As the scene began to unfold Kagome crept closer to the room. The staff lead looked Miroku in his deep violet eyes and said

"Son, how are you feeling?" He asked modestly.

"Do you want me to lie and tell you that I'm okay, sir?" Miroku asked.

"Miroku, you're one of our finest in this hospital, a good doctor, a good person. Now let me ask you this, what did you do to yourself?" He waited for Miroku to answer. Miroku looked down.

"My whole world is gone and I have to come to work and fix other people's...while mine is irreparable." He kept his eyes down.

"Miroku, we found large amounts of oxycodone in your blood, we need to know what you took...so we can make you well." Miroku hesitated.

"Oxycontin." He replied simply.

"How many?" His staff lead said, a little colder.

"Six." The older man's eyes widened.

"What the hell were you trying to do? Kill yourself? Throw your life away? What? What was your goal?"

"I don't know." Miroku said shakily.

"Well I'm sorry son but we're gonna have to suspend you for a while, else we could be in for a lawsuit. I'm sorry." He said as he bowed his head and walked out of the room. Just as Miroku thought it couldn't get any worse, the day took a deeper dive, down in a hole. He couldn't even cry then, he just laid his head back on his pillow and passed out again. Kagome had heard it all, she didn't know what was so wrong with Miroku these days. As long as she had known him he'd always been so cheerful and kind, now so down on the world. Had he really tried to kill himself? The staff lead walked by her and saw he standing by the room eavesdropping.

"Higarashi, you're suspended to for being nosy, you have no right to snoop in his buisness like that, you know better." He walked away swiftly after scolding her. She waited until he was out of sight and then snuck into Miroku's room. She was upset and curious as to the sudden change in his behavior, she was worried for him. She looked at his facial features as he slept. Then she reached down and grabbed his hand and held it tightly in hers.

"I'm sorry" She whispered. "I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you so desperate to die." A tear ran down her cheek, she was worried for her friend.