Hi! Sorry about the long delay on updating, but more is going to be trickling in as I think it up, and collaborate with my friend. This fic is on semi-hold while I work on Cultural Exchange and The Most Deadly Poisons.

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Well, Yami, the indomitable fool, had got it into his head to challenge Ryou to a duel. He had hoped to get Bakura to come out and give him tips on shadow realm travel.

Just about anyone can see what a wonderful time they were going to have.

Upon entering Ryou's house, after proclaiming some loud and long-winded moral reasons for dueling Ryou, he dragged him over to the table and tied him to a chair. Very considerately, he left Ryou's hands untied to let him duel.

"Now, I will beat you, Bakura, and learn the secrets of the shadow realm!" Yami announced.

"I told you! He's not here anymore! Weren't you the one who banished him?" Ryou insisted.

"Yes, several times actually. But he must be back by now. He always comes back. He's kind of like a pigeon, actually." Yami pondered.

Bakura couldn't stand it any longer. In a brilliant flash, the millennium ring had appeared, and he had taken control of Ryou's body.

"I am not! In no way do I resemble a sky rat!" Bakura insisted.

"Yes you do. You keep coming back and back and back, no matter how many times you're gotten rid of. Actually, what you really resemble is one of those movies, that mighta been good the first time, but they make second and a third and a fourth, and it's like 'Aghhhh! It never ends!'. Kinda like Power Rangers. And Star Trek."

"No I don- you watch Power Rangers! Almighty king of games, winner of duelist kingdom, ancient pharaoh, watches Power Rangers!" Bakura exclaimed between gasps of laughter, while trying to not fall off his chair. Luckily, he was tied to it. It took a few minutes for him to be able to breathe without choking again, and by that time Yami was tomato red.

"Not very often..." he mumbled.

"How many have there been?" Bakura asked in rapid-fire trivia style.

"Mighty Morphing, Zeo, Turbo, In Space, Lost Galaxy, Lightspeed Rescue, Time Force, Wild Force, Ninja Storm, Dino Thunder, SPD. 1l series, X seasons in all." Yami fired right back before he was able to stop himself. This prompted Bakura into another laughing fit, this one so violent that he fell over, chair and all.

When he was able to breathe again, much to Yami's sorrow, he let out a string of cusses, so foul that the milk in the fridge went sour. Ryou would be upset when he came-to again. He then attempted to push or pull or contort himself into a proper and upright sitting position.

He failed.

He let out another string of cusses, this set so foul that it made Yami's hair stand on end. Yes, more so than usual. At this point, Yami was stifling laughter, which was making Bakura even more agitated. Suddenly Bakura had an epiphany. He pulled a knife from his sheath, cut the ropes, set up his chair, sat down, and threw his knife really hard at Yami, where it stuck all the way to the hilt in The Hair.

"Hey!" Yami exclaimed pointlessly, as he tugged on the knife hilt. But Yami's Super-Hold Sticky Gunky Goo™ hair gel stuck stubbornly, and refused to give the knife up.

"So, why shouldn't I kill you right now?" Bakura asked.

"Because it would be bad for the plotline?" Yami suggested. Bakura looked at him like he was crazy, and from Bakura that's something.

"Um... How about because we're in the middle of the duel?" He tried.

"Oh, yes. Let's make this more interesting. Let's take this to the-" Bakura was interrupted by a cheer of joy from Yami. He scowled.

"You're supposed to cower in fear when I say that. And what if I was going to say 'let's take this duel to the grocery store' rather than to the shadow realm, hmm? Would you still be so happy then?"

"Yeah, I need to pick up some eggs and milk and flour... oh and-"

"Just forget I ever asked" Bakura conceded with a sigh.

"So, let's get going. I'll do the honors." Yami announced.

"No, I will." Bakura said.

"Nu-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nu-uh."

"Just try it, pretty boy."

"I will, roach."

And so it happened that both Yami and Bakura tried to take the duel to the shadow realm at the same time.

Now, whosoever should stroll in at just that exact moment, but Marik.

"Hey, the door was open. I- Ohhh! Pretty sparkly bright shadow magic lights!" he practically squealed, making a beeline for the aforementioned 'pretty sparkly bright lights'.

Thus it happened that Marik got brought along for the ride.

Suddenly everyone felt like they were falling. At the same time Bakura and Yami were still fighting for control, and everyone felt like they were being ripped in half.

As abruptly as their decent began, it terminated with the sound of six bodies going thump in a small enclosed area. It was a dark and dank area, the floor coated with bones and the top open to the bright, blue sky.

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"Help! What in the name of seven Hades is going on?" Bakura heard what sounded like his voice, only coming from behind him. He whirled around, and came face to face with a softer, younger looking, green eyed, non-psychotic version of himself. And then he heard 'his' voice scream, but not alone, as it was accompanied by two other voices in the darkness. He marveled at how the voice could sound so like his own, and yet so... girly, undeniably girly. Well, soon the yelling got to grating on his ears, so he covered up the mouth of his duplicate. And he was immediately rewarded with a bitten hand to cradle.

"I'm bleeding!" He cried out.

"Serves you right, covering up a body's mouth like that. You were like to suffocate me!" The him-not-him exclaimed.

-You would've deserved to be strangled, the horrendous screeching you were making. - Bakura thought.

"Hey! I heard that! You're a horrible person, you know that? And in case you hadn't noticed yet, I'm not just 'that thing' or 'your duplicate'. I'm Ryou, you know, the poor bum whose body you snitched to hitch a ride in for some twisted revenge? Remember? And I most certainly do not screech."

"You most certainly do. My ears have the evidence still. It's a wonder they're not bleeding. And of course I remember you, how could I forget you, my pesky host?" Bakura said, while thinking -Oh, yeah thaaaaats who he is. No wonder he looks like me. I wonder if he has anything good to steal.-

-I wish he wouldn't think one thing and say another. He's so bothersome. - Ryou thought.

"I do not!" Bakura indignantly protested.

"Don't what?"

"Think one thing and say another."

"I never said that."

"Wait, how would you know I was..."

The whole situation was pretty neatly summed up by a single thought that they both had simultaneously.

-Uh-oh...-

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"Um... Yugi, you can stop screaming any time now. Preferably while we still have some sense of hearing left." Yami tried to calmly state, while wondering just how much longer Yugi could go on screaming without taking a breath, before asphyxiating. He had already turned a sickly aqua in the pale light filtering down from far above. The color was totally clashing with his hair.

"Oh. Sorry... Wait a moment! Yami! What the is going on!" Yugi had abruptly stopped screaming at the sound of Yami's voice, a real, physical sound wave voice, unlike usual.

-I haven't the foggiest. - Yami thought glumly. -And this sure isn't the shadow realm. - But he had to put on a strong front for his lighter side.

"We are right here... in some room place thing in separate corporeal bodies." He said with strong positive conviction, as if what he just said was the results he had set out to achieve.

"Do you always do that?" Yugi asked with confusion.

"Do what?"

"Pretend you know what's going on, when you're just as in the dark as everyone else."

"I do n-" Yami cut off, realizing he had just a moment ago committed said crime.

-Well... maybe every now and then. But it's for everyone's own good. A leader has to be strong for his people.-

"It's all your fault that this isn't the shadow realm. And if you weren't a good leader back then, how do you expect to be one now?" Bakura interjected.

"Yes I was." Yami protested.

"I know it was you whose fault it is this isn't the shadow realm." Bakura batted back with a chuckle.

"No it wasn't!"

"I know it wasn't good for you to be a leader back then." Bakura returned, his good mood growing with the sound of Yami's sour growling.

"Better control your 'vicious beast' before he hurts someone." Bakura addressed at Yugi.

"Yeah, namely you." Ryou said as he entered the 'conversation'. But, Bakura was not yet finished taunting the irate ancient teenage ruler. He made like he was turning away, then turned and twisted right up into Yami's face.

"You know, the psychotic blonde mind controller who created his own split personality would have been a better ruler than you. You should have let him, no, helped him take over the world. It would have been the least you could do to make up for..." Bakura faded off for a moment as his eyes glazed over with memory. "Bloody hypocrite." He finished, spitting on the floor at Yami's feet. When he saw the twisted pained and emotional look on the pharaoh's face, he laughed with his insane laughter echoing and ricocheting off the close walls of their enclosure and filling everyone's ears. Ryou and Yugi simultaneously shivered. Then Yugi returned to comforting Yami, and Ryou drew off Bakura to the side, and was trying to soothe him just by being there, by listening.

Just when most of the vestiges of chaos had dissipated, the sky started falling.

Or rather, someone fell out of the sky. Bakura heard the swoosh of displaced air, and flip-rolled into a standing position just in time to catch her before she hit the bottom of the well. Bakura put on his best dark-and-mysterious-stranger-charmer look.

"Hi." He stated simply. The girl looked around at all of them, then back to Bakura.

"Hi." she replied weakly, before promptly fainting.

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Ta-da! This will be a two parter section, if I don't have too much to put in one chapter to finish it up.

Thanks for tuning in, see you later!

-Kit