Nuh-uh. None doin', bucko. No one, for any reason, was gonna shear me naked. It was bad enough being a damn sheep. A nude, prancing sheep was right out. Screw that, even if no one would recognize me.

But how do you say no to a warlock and Fido, the Hellhound, particularly when they both seemed intent on removing as much wool from my body as possible? When the innkeeper said "two sacks of wool" I pictured a linen bag or some shiz like that. Nuh-uh. This sucker was friggin' huge. I didn't know if the innkeeper wanted to store wool or was making a circus tent with this thing. We could have lived inside with enough room for all three of us to have suites, a dining room for eleven, a lounge, and a shuffleboard court.

I'm going to gloss over the details. Mostly for my pride. This was definitely not one of my prouder moments, in the cellar of an inn having Maur pin me down and shear off whatever he could get his hands on. I didn't even know the guy, damnit. He might have been friggin' enjoying that. Actually, probably not. I did catch him in the face with my foot, and from that point on he seemed a little disgruntled in his work.

We finally got back to the innkeeper; a warlock bleeding from the nose, one hell of a pissed off naked sheep, and a mutated dog that apparently got run over by a wagon and didn't know it yet. I swear, if he didn't give us the room, the inn would have been leveled to the ground in seconds, and everyone would have left the wreckage carrying whatever viruses were in my bloodstream from my biting frenzy.

I calmed down a bit, after I realized he left me a bit of wool. I wasn't completely pink, but I guess the difference is the same as a regular blouse and a see-through one. Great. A sheep hooker. Baa Baa hangin' around the street corners, lookin' for prospective customers, swinging a purse on a chain. Think about that one and try and sleep tonight.

Trying to get that thought out of my mind, we headed up to our room. If that was a room worth my wool, then I was gonna go feed myself to the murlocs. This sucker had a bed, and that's pretty much it. Not even much floor to damn sleep on. Then I noticed that Fpshiky was snoozed on the foot of the bed, exactly where I intended to sleep. Damnit.

"Hey, Maur?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you wake up Fysh? I was gonna sleep there."

"That's Fpshk. And no, that's not a good idea."

"Oh. Okay." I glanced around for witnesses. None. I moved.

A head butt from a sheep hurts. A head butt from a sheep in the crotch is abysmally painful. Sucker didn't even have enough time to curse me. He fell to the ground, passed out on the floor. I enjoyed a bed to myself that night.

I made sure I woke up before they did. Don't ask me how; maybe I have a sleep-o-meter. I'm not stupid enough to let Hellgirl be the first one to assess the situation and scene. I waddled out of bed, slowly, not to make her very angry, and went down to breakfast. I didn't know if they'd serve a sheep, but I know they'd serve one if said sheep stole the food in question. Hey, what are they gonna do, arrest me?

I didn't get caught, and by the end of breakfast I had made a meal of four bran muffins, six cups of milk, four bowls of oatmeal, nine fried potatoes, and a salad, which I didn't eat too much of. You might think this was a bit much, but remember, my last meal was a Deeprun Rat Kabob. So shut up.

I sat myself under a table, watching the stairs for Maur to come down. I knew he was sissy enough not to cause trouble in the dining room. He came down with Fpshk (I said it right!), looking just as disgruntled as the previous day. Maybe he needed to take more pride in his work.

He saw me. "Damn you."

I smiled sweetly. "Good morning, bozo."

He retuned the smile, weakly. "Fine. I shear you, you neuter me. Even?"

I acted like I was pondering for a moment. "Even." I said. He still had Fippish with him, and seriously, I'm not stupid.

And so we set off for Stormwind City, all 3 of us not quite skipping down the yellow mud road. Wolves, and Bears, and Murlocs, oh my! As I walked (I was getting better at it) down the road with my newfound companions, I felt alright for the first time in a long, long time. I knew things would get better once we reached Stormwind, and the sun would come out to greet us as we were, disgruntled, naked, and confused. Everything would be alright, from now on.

Then it started raining.

And of course, I tripped over my own feet in the mud. Damn.